Abaddon's 14th Black Crusade
Abaddon's 14th Black Crusade, or Abaddon Quest on /tg/, is a series of threads created by a fa/tg/uy named simply as "OP" that focuses on the posters being Abaddon the Despoiler. It's famous on /tg/ because it's co-created by the denizens of /tg/ as a whole, not solely just by OP (Although he does tell how the story goes). Fa/tg/uys suggest what happens next by rolling a d100 in the thread, the one with the highest score, or the numbers 66, 77, 88, and 99, which are the sacred number of the Chaos Gods and thus must be written for Chaos itself speaks, gets his story written by OP in the most awesomesauce/lulzy way possible. Needless to say, the collaborative effort now turned Abaddon from an armless failure to a badass worthy of a bow.
Abaddon the Despoiler, the Warmaster of Chaos and the current leader of the Black Legion. As the head of countless fanatical servants of the ruinous powers, you would think that he would be the most feared mortal being in the universe right? No, even Abaddon himself is starting to realize how much of a joke his title is. Tzeentch mocks him for being so predictable, Khorne constantly tells him how Kharn has more kills than him and how Angron has gotten more things done than him in a single millennium, the rest of the Chaos primarchs laughs at him for his incompetence as the supposed "Warmaster of Chaos and blessed of the Chaos Gods". He would want to hold his head in his armored hands right about now in shame.......if only he had his arms back.
He did manage to stop Kyras sacrificing the Blood Ravens from ascending into daemonhood by having Eliphas kill him and getting the favor of the Chaos Gods with the sacrifice of an entire sector, but the rest of the Chaos champions still say that "despoiling" a crippled chapter isn't really a feat for an entire Chaos Legion, especially when said chapter managed to kick their initial attack force back with nothing more than 3 Space Marine squads and a single Captain.
Abaddon now sits on his throne in his flagship: the Vengeful Spirit, currently in the Eye of Terror and about to exit into realspace. He ponders for a moment what he has become today, is he really still a feared being and the despoiler of the universe? Or is he just another generic Chaos Lord with a fancy title? He then closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens his eyes with determination that he is still the feared warmaster of Chaos as he was always been. He realized the reason why he defined the false Emperor, murdered his own brothers in arms who did not accept the true power, and why he lives today: to serve the true powers, to pay tribute to the dark gods, and that is enough to drive him to continue on. Besides, plenty of sacrifices are to be had during his crusades with either the blood of loyalists or servants of the true powers. He shouts on his vox:
"Servants of Chaos, hear me now! The corpse-worshiping fools of the Imperium shall fall today under the relentless will of Chaos, for today we MARCH FOR OUR 14th BLACK CRUSADE"! The Chaos Gods assures me that this blackened crusade will be triumphant! LET THE GALAXY BUUUURRRNNN!
The ship's crew is stunned for a few seconds after hearing that, they just know in the back of their minds that this crusade won't be different from the rest, and pray to the Chaos Gods for deliverance. Abaddon, now empowered by the prospect of a possible major victory over the Imperium of man, exits his throne room, where he is greeted by his Justaerin Terminator bodyguards.
Abaddon then realizes one crucial flaw that would greatly undermine his efforts: he still has no arms. He grins for a moment in anger, then one of Abaddon's Justaerin bodyguards asks: What troubles you, my lord? Abaddon then throws the weight of his Terminator armor at the interrogating bodyguard, knocking him down, and screams:
"I REQUIRE A NEW SET OF ARMS! GET ME A PAIR RIGHT NOW YOU MISERABLE WRETCH!"
R..right away, my liege, p...please forgive me, says the stunned terminator.
The terminator leads Abaddon to the ship's armory, where a contingent of Iron Warriors marines and numerous servitors can be seen maintaining the legion's hardware in preparation for the newest Black Crusade. Abaddon enters the main armory, seeing an Iron Warriors marine polishing a melta gun on his lap, seemingly in some weird form of Slaaneshi-like pleasure as his rag runs across the now shining metal on the weapon. Upon seeing Abaddon, the Warrior is broken from his trance, frantically puts the weapon away, faces Lord Abaddon and says:
"Y-yes, Lord Abaddon? What is it you wish?"
Abaddon, slightly disturbed over the marine's weapon fetish, thuds the Iron Warrior with his Terminator armor and demands a new set of arms. The marine scrambles to the room next to the armory, where hundreds of dark servitors are making weapons. After a few hours, the marine returns back with a new pair of bionic arms, hard enough to withstand a krak missile and large enough to fit the bulk of the Terminator armor. A retinue of servitors led by a Dark Mechanicus techpriest rush to their lord's location, where they fit the newly made arms on their liege. Abaddon takes a moment and flexes his new arms, they feel like his old ones, he then smashes a servitor to test the hardness of his new appendages, the lobotomized contraption is left a twisted ruin after Abaddon gives it a clothesline, and then he leaves the armory with great joy.
Abaddon then returns to his throne room and enters the inner sanctum located behind it, where his trophies, weapons, and other icons can be located. He goes to a chest in the middle of the room, filled with some of his prized trophies and mementos, he takes particular interest in the skull of his first kill, an Ork with the right side of it's skull blown off after his bolt rounds pierced through the greenskin's head, another is a a collection of images of the entire Mournival in a group-shot before their first combat action as a group, their faces look on high and proud. He then reminisces about a few more things, such as a ceramite shard of Horus' armor, a peculiar cylindrical and somewhat phallic Slaaneshi instrument gifted to him by Lucius the Eternal of which he never learned the purpose of, and a recorded transmission of Kharn saying how exhilarating Tallaran was while holding the severed head of a trooper.
"Enough nostalgia" he said to himself and he drew out the Talon of Horus and Drach'nyen from their dark altars.
Abaddon then plots out how he is going to convince the rest of the Chaos legions to lend him aid, his past failures are sure to be a discouraging fact to the rest of them. However, after meditating and psychically conversing with Tzeentch about his next plans, he is then given the knowledge on how to gather another legion of chaotic zealots. He contacts one of his favored servants: Eliphas the Inheritor and charges him with the propaganda operations, as a Word Bearer Dark Apostle, he is bound to be well versed on how to spread the word and will of Chaos. Abaddon however, still feels a little uneasy with his new arms, while powerful, decades of being limbless have taken its toll on him and he fears his martial prowess is not as good as they use to be. As a test, he orders a group of Slaaneshi cultists to summon a host of daemonettes to his throneroom, which they promptly did and they appeared in the center of his throne room, he then proceeds to take a seat on his throne.
The seductive forms of the servants of Slaanesh entice Abaddon, his blood rushing as they lay themselves on his armor, even with the thick layers of ceramite covering his body, he could feel the sensual form of the daemons as if his armor were his own flesh, then they whisper to his ear:
"You may do whatever you wish to us, great and mighty champion".
Abaddon is drowned in an ocean of pleasure for a few moments as the daemonettes rub themselves around him, moving their fingers around his body, and arousing him with an elegant and seductive dance, he then snaps out of the moment and remembers what he was suppose to do in the first place. He proceeds to grab the first daemonette by the head with his right armored fist and crush the hapless daemon's skull through brute force. Then second one, still shocked at the situation, is flayed and killed after a flurry of attacks from Abaddon's Talon of Horus. The third one is now circling Abaddon and poised to strike, he deflects a quick succession of attacks from the daemon using Drach'nyen and raises up his Talon to fire a burst from his storm bolter, which the daemon avoids with her incredibly fast moves, she jumps up into the air and attempts to behead Abaddon with its claw, but is cut short after the Despoiler charges up into the air and knocks the daemonette down with his shoulder, the daemon pleads for mercy but Abaddon had none of it, he then raises her over his head and forcefully rips her in two and discards her now broken corpse aside. Abaddon then spreads out his arms and howls in victory and glee that his combat prowess is as potent as they were decades ago.
He then looks around his throne room and stares at the mangled remains of the daemonettes, bloodied and utterly destroyed. Oddly, a powerful temptation then engulfs him. The thoughts of desires of Slaanesh and violence from Khorne possess his mind and body like a persistent daemon, he then precede to test his arms on the deceased daemonettes in a different way, it would appear that Slaanesh has blessed his mechanical arms as he could feel every bit of grotesque sensation from his debauched acts as if his arms were his own flesh. After five minutes of debased deeds that are best left untold, Abaddon gets in his vox and announces to the ship on how he sexually violated a dead trio of daemonettes. A large portion of the Black Legion's warriors could only listen in horror at this heresy, except for the Slaanesh-aligned marines who cheered him on and one Berzerker who commented:
"SERVES THOSE EFFETE SCUM RIGHT! GLORY TO YOU LORD ABADDON!".
Abaddon then conjures up a bolt of Empyrean warpfire to burn the corpses of the daemonettes and exits his throne room, his Justaerin Terminator bodyguards just giving him a puzzled and horrified look at his deeds that even they consider heresy. He walks through the ships halls, gaining the praise of the Slaaneshi cultists and marines. The warriors of excess then follows him, making offers of more debauched forms of pleasure with the warmaster, with some offering to have their "rear armor" penetrated by him.
After a few moments of indulgence, Abaddon the Despoiler decides to let these trivial pursuits slide and get on with his plan of a new Black Crusade. His next act was to enlist the other champions of Chaos to further fuel his goals, the chosen servants of the Dark Gods are sure not to fail him. Many champions go through his mind, perhaps he should summon the aid of Kharn the Betrayer first? Or maybe Doombreed, Khorne's most powerful champion? Or maybe the lost champion of Slaanesh: Doomrider? He considered Angron, however the two are not in good terms so he decides not to get him to fight under his wing. After much time to think on who to call on first, he finally decides to enlist the help of the Thousand Sons most powerful sorcerer: Ahzek Ahriman. Abaddon then gathers his cabal of sorcerers to establish a psychic link with the wandering champion of Tzeentch, Ahriman was quick to notice the link between them even before Abaddon had a chance to speak and says to him:
"Ah great Abaddon the Despoiler. What is it you wish you speak to me about? Nothing important or of value, I assume. Do you need my consul? Did you loose your appendages again and require my aid to find them.....again?", Ahriman says with a sarcastic tone.
Abaddon then details his plan of another Black Crusade to Ahriman, the latter laughs at the prospect of another Crusade of failure and says:
"Oh how innovative you are Abaddon. Truly, Chaos' greatest warmaster is a pinnacle of creativity......", he is interrupted when Abaddon mentions that his crusade may have them pass where the Black Library is located, Ahriman then resumes: "....Also, perhaps I do know where you arms are, but what was that you said about the Black Library? Let us discuss more about that, shall we...?
Abaddon then says that what he said about the elusive craftworld was false, he only mentions the Black Library as a way to get the insolent sorcerer to listen for a moment. Angrily, Ahriman replies: "Then why in the name of Tzeentch should I bother to join you, you overrated fool of a warmaster? You will just lead your warriors into their pointless graves and your entire fleet will fall to a single Cadian General and his army of weak and fragile children brandishing flashlights! So predictable of you.
Abaddon, holding his temper, then mentions that his crusade will not be as predictable now, for he considers the prospect of time travel, which again intrigues the sorcerer. Wading through trivial facts Abaddon asks if this is indeed possible, Ahriman tells him that it is indeed possible with enough sorcery mustered to rend the fabric of time itself. He asks when this will begin and Abaddon says that it will commence now. Ahriman then pledges his allegiance to the Despoiler and tells him that he will ready his cabal to twist the warp, he urges Abaddon not to disturb him as he prepares the ritual to do so as this is a very delicate and volatile spell that cannot afford any flaws, which Abaddon agrees to, and then breaks off the psychic link with Ahriman.
As the Warmaster continues to plot within the confines of his throne room along with his cabal of sorcerors, Eliphas suddenly enters the chamber. While already a daemon prince of Khorne, he assumes his old form of a Terminator Lord while off battle as this suites him better, he comes to Lord Abaddon to report a slight bump in the propaganda efforts:
"Lord Abaddon, we have a slight problem. We have just realized that the fleet does not have enough paper in stock to print all of our 10 trillion leaflets to spread the word of the newest Black Crusade".
Abaddon puts his face on his armored palm at the direction of Eliphas and says: "Tell me, little Eliphas, are you really this unresourceful?",
"No my lord, it's just that.....", Eliphas was cut by Abaddon who proceeds: "Quiet worm, I am not done speaking. Now, we have millions upon millions of hapless slaves and followers devout to Chaos, what do you think their use is?", Abaddon asks.
"Their....erm....their use is to serve Chaos with their lives, my Lord?", Eliphas asks with an unsure tone.
"Precisely, my little Eliphas, now what are you going to do now?", Abaddon asks further, "Are you implying that I'm suppose to skin the slaves and use their skins as paper, my Lord?".
Abaddon does not speak, he just gives a facial gesture to answer Eliphas' question, which Eliphas understands and leaves the Throne room. Minutes later, hordes of slaves are brought into the Vengeful Spirit, where a large contingent of Slaaneshi cultists are marines were charged with the joyous duty of skinning the slaves alive as so their skins can used as leaflets, it would have also worked if they were already dead, but Eliphas knows that the followers of Slaanesh will work faster if their victim is still a screaming mess. Hours of non-stop screaming could be heard through the halls of the accursed ship, which made the crew uneasy, slightly annoyed the Astartes, and gave an orgasmic glee to the servants of Slaanesh. "All is going well, this Crusade might turn up to be a successful one", Abaddon confidently said to himself, as he continues to think on which chaos champion to summon next.
"They are, err, both dead my Lord.", says one of the sorcerers.
Neroth, who was standing beside the naive sorcerer, thumps his fellow psyker in the back of his armored head and counters: "Sindri is already a daemon price, you fool, we can summon his essence so he could aid us".
"Haha, very well, form a psychic link with the daemon prince's essence so I may converse with him", Abaddon commands his sorcerers.
After 3 of Abaddon's sorcerers violently dying and 1 turning into a gibbering wreck trying to find Sindri through the warp, the rest finally succeeded. Even though Abaddon is the only one with the Psychic link to Sindri, the daemon prince's booming voice could be heard throughout the Vengeful Spirit who said:
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MORTAL? BREAK AWAY NOW BEFORE I SHATTER YOUR SOULS!"
Abaddon is infuriated at the Daemon's lack of respect to the most powerful champion of the Chaos Gods and through the blessing of Tzeentch, Abaddon's words somehow subdued Sindri's rage as he spoke and garnered a bit of his compliance, and so the daemon listens to the warmaster more calmly. Sindri then asks, in his Slaaneshi-blessed voice: "What do you wish, Lord Abaddon the Despoiler?", Abaddon feels like his mind is in a state of great bliss when he heard the daemon speak in his old voice.
Abaddon briefs Sindri on his plan for a new Black Crusade and asks for his assistance, which the daemon agrees to. He only requires that he be summoned into the material plane, which Abaddon plans to do by sacrificing one of his sorcerers. A sorcerer from his cabal gladly comes forth to be a sacrifice. Abaddon, however, is having doubts whether to sacrifice his few remaining sorcerers to bring a daemon back into realspace, he will need the rest to summon more champions and he is in short supply of competent psykers due to Sindri killing a good number of them.
He then tells his sorcerers to instead open a warprift where Sindri is, which they do in short succession, "What are you doing, mortal?", Sindri asks as he is not sure what Abaddon is planning.
Against everything logical, Abaddon plunges his right arm into the warp and tries to pull out Sindri into realspace, which astounds everyone in the room. He pulls the thrashing daemon with all his super-human might as Sindri continues to threaten Abaddon, the daemon prince then screams: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU POMPOUS FOOL?! RELEASE ME NOW AND I WILL PROMISE YOU A QUICK DEATH FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!".
The metal on Abaddon's new arms start to buckle and crack as he tries to pull the daemon out of the warp, he then switches to his left arm as he fears that his right arm will eventually break under the stress. Abaddon is close to grabbing Sindri out of the warp, but as his warp-exposed arm continues to wrestle with the daemon prince, it also starts to tear and disintegrate, Abaddon starts to fear that he is not powerful enough to pull the daemon prince out of the warp with his own 2 hands and he also fears loosing his arms, which he greatly intends not to happen again.
Suddenly when all seems lost, Abaddon glows with a blue-hued energy and the marks of Tzeentch that adorn his terminator armor and skin glows brightly, it seems that the Changer of Ways himself comes to aid the warmaster! In an instant, Abaddon's arms repair themselves instantly and he is brimming with the great power granted by Lord Tzeentch himself. Using this newly found reserve of power, the Despoiler pulls the thrashing daemon with all his might and after a few tense moments, succeeded in pulling Sindri out of the warp, no one, even the Sorcerers, cannot believe what their Lord has just done, Abaddon raises his right arm in triumph. Sindri appears as a purple wisp of warp energy in front of everyone, it is at the same time, infuriated and amazed at what just happened right now, he continues to emanate psychic screams as he stands on Abaddon's hand, which is causing moderate discomfort amongst the cabal.
Abaddon then orders Sindri to be bound to his right arm, the daemon is then compelled to take residence in the Despoiler's right hand, "No! No, I will not be bound by you, mortal!", protests Sindri but to no avail, Abaddon along with his sorcerers successfully managed to infuse Sindri's essence into Lord Abaddon's right bionic arm. The Warmaster then spreads out his arms, looks up, and levitates as the powers of the warp continue to fill his body, it was somewhat painful, but in a sadistically enjoyable sense.
When Abaddon starts to infuse Sindri, he began to feel the Daemon Prince's power flowing in his body, the dark blessings and magicks of Tzeentch, the insatiable bloodlust and great strength of Khorne, and the debauched sensations given by Slaanesh. As he comes down to the ground after successfully gaining the powers of the daemon prince, the Slaaneshi part of the powers appear to be the most overwhelming of all, compared to the others. The price of excess him/her/itself whispers to the warmaster about invoking in some perverted pleasures right now in his throne room, which Abaddon could not refuse. He then walks back to his throne and sits, then Abaddon starts to remove his Terminator armor's codpiece.
"Erm... Lord Abaddon... what are you...", asks Neroth as he is starting to realize where this is going, "BY THE CHAOS GODS!!", shouts the entire cabal as Abaddon... starts to... erm... pleasure himself with his demonically-possessed right arm. The sorcerers then start to slowly back away from Lord Abaddon as they see him commit acts of heresy, while Sindri is being mentally scared for his eternal life, he screams for the warmaster to stop, but to no avail. After a minute of acts that drove most of the cabal even more insane from either the continuous psychic screams Sindri was doing throughout the agonizing minute, or simply seeing their warmaster in that predicament, Abaddon then proceeds to put his codpiece back on and kissed his right hand that triggered another agonized psychic scream from Sindri who is now scarred in all senses of the word, while his sorcerers are still whimpering in a corner.
As the sorcerers battled to regain their already slipping sanity, Abaddon commanded that another Champion be called for his Crusade, this time, he has decided to enlist the help of Lucius the Eternal, one of Slaanesh's greatest champions and a master swordsman. The sorcerers easily find The Soulthief and soon, a psychic link is established between the warmaster and the champion. Lucius welcomes the presence of the warmaster and asks what he requires of him. Abaddon asks Lucius for his participation in his latest Black Crusade, which the champion of Slaanesh gleefully obliges to join without a doubt.
Now that another champion joins the ranks, the Despoiler thinks of another Champion to call upon. He now decides to call upon Typhus the Traveler, the great herald of Papa Nurgle. Much like Lucius, the herald of Nurgle welcomes Abaddon's presence, though albeit annoyed as the former was still feeding his kittens. It's always been a great mystery amongst the chaos legions how Typhus managed to even own kittens in the first place that didn't die outright from being near him, given how Typhus is the host of the Destroyer plague, and how Papa Nurgle wants all to decay. The explanation that the Terminator champion simply insists that he likes his kittens adorable as they are, not decayed and dead, and he somehow made them immune to the myriad of plagues and pestilence abundant within a Nurgle-worshiping legion, of the which does not seem to garner the wrath of Nurgle.
Typhus then speaks in a raspy, phlegm-ridden voice: "Ahhh...greetings Lord Abaddon the Despoiler, what is it you require *gasp* I am in the middle of *gasp* feeeeding my....kittens *gasp*".
Abaddon then voices his opinion on how he prefers canines over felines, saying how cats are for fools, which offends the herald of Nurgle. Enraged, Typhus threatens in a slightly more clearer voice: "GAH! You dare insult my adorable little pets? Dogs do nothing but bark and bite all the time, which is annoying in all senses of that word. Give me one good reason why I should not take delight in seeing you slowly rot right now when I send my wave of plagues which even you cannot resist!"
Abaddon then realizes his error and calms down the enraged herald of Nurgle by apologizing about the previous remark, lest he finds himself surrounded by a swarm of warp-flies that would infest his body until it explodes. He then asks the host of the Destroyer Hive to aid him in his 14th Black Crusade, which might take them to a planet inhabited solely by cats, which Typhus is greatly jovial about. He then responds in a more reserved voice:
"Very well Lord Abaddon, my Plague ships will arrive shortly to rendezvous with you.", and the Psychic link breaks off.
Meanwhile, Ahriman reports that his fleet is near the Vengeful Spirit and that he is ready to enact the final ritual to bend the warp and make time travel possible. Abaddon responds that all is not ready yet as he still needs to call upon a few more champions of Chaos. He then decides to finally call upon his long-time friend: Kharn the Betrayer and commands his cabal to make it so.
They successfully locate Kharn but nothing happens, they do not see his image nor managed to establish a psychic link with him, one of the sorcerers then ask: "Erm... did we get the ritual wrong"?, another explains: "It might be his collar of Khorne preventing us from... *thud*... what was that?".
The sorcerer is interrupted by a loud noise outside Abaddon's throne room, as it gets closer it sounds like a Chimera tank and the howling of a berserker. As it was finally apparent that the sound as coming towards them, everyone in the room took cover as Kharn crashed into the room, riding on top of a Hellhound tank screaming at the top of his lungs while 2 traitor guardsmen from the Red Rivers were fearfully about to crash the thing and go out in a blaze of glory, taking out a stunned sorcerer along the way when he got run over by the speeding tank.
Kharn then yells: "DON'T WORRY LORD ABADDON, I'LL SAVE YOU!", as he raises up Gorechild, his infamous daemon weapon, into the air and was about to ignite the volatile tanks of promethium attached to the tank by slicing into it, which was stopped when Abaddon managed to calm Kharn down from his enraged state, who then goes back into his passive, fun-loving state. Kharn then gives the two traitor guardsmen a pat on the back for their good work and jumps off the hull of the tank as Abaddon asks him on what he was doing.
Kharn tells a story on how he was surfing the hijacked hellhound into the rear flank of a Leman Russ tank formation and was going to detonate it in a blaze of glory, Khorne then whispered to him on how Slaanesh's and Tzeentch's influences were powerful in the Vengeful Spirit. He then asked the guardsmen to drive the hellhound into the warp-rift that appeared near them to save the warmaster. Abaddon assures Kharn that this was simply because of a new Black Crusade forming up and not because he was betraying Khorne or anything. The two then share a customary brofist, which caused Sindri to cry out in pain as he crashed into the Betrayer's fist. Abaddon then asks Kharn for his assistance in his new Black Crusade, which he agrees to without hesitation as he and the warmaster share another brofist, which again causes pain for Sindri.
"Haha, thank you, old friend" remarks Abaddon as he is informed that that Ahriman's vessel is near, along with Lucius'.
As Abaddon thinks of more champions to recruit for his time-traveling crusade, three names come into mind: Doombreed, Khorne's most powerful champion, Doomrider, one of Slaanesh's greatest champions, and Araghast the Pillager, one of Abaddon's finest Chaos Lords. He also orders Eliphas to get some Jokaero, which puzzles the rest. Abaddon also asks Kharn if he can contact Angron and get him to join his Black Crusade, but the Betrayer could not, Angron is still a vexed over Kharn on how he shattered the entire World Eaters legion single-handedly, which Abaddon understands and proceeds not to recruit the angry primarch anymore.
Neroth then protests: "Lord Abaddon, if I may speak, how do you expect the handful of us to summon two daemon princes and a dead Chaos Lord? We may be the finest psykers among the legions, but we are not that powerful, my lord".
Abaddon, infuriated at this weakness, backhands the sorcerer and yells:
"YOU CALL YOURSELVES SORCERERS OF TZEENTCH? PATHETIC! EITHER SHOW ME NOW THAT YOU ARE STILL WORTHY TO SERVE THE DARK POWERS OR I WILL PERSONALLY THROW YOU INTO A WARP PORTAL MYSELF!". Neroth then stands up and the cabal fearfully obliges and commences the summoning.
As the sorcerers chant their dark verses, the Despoiler is informed that Typhus' fleet is nearing their location. "Yes, it is all going to plan as the Changer of ways said it would. Perhaps today, the Imperium of Man will finally fall!", Abaddon says confidently to himself. He then contacts Eliphas on the status of the Jokaero, which he replies that he has already dispatched several capture teams to a nearby subsector and will get them shortly.
Suddenly, an unexpected warp portal appears in the center of the summoning circle the cabal was using and in the blink of an eye, a flaming motorcycle jumps out of the portal and screams in accomplishment. It was none other than Doomrider the Champion of Slaanesh, the odor around him is mixed with the smell of a hundred drugs and combat stimulants, and exotic perfumes and smells, which had mixed effects on everyone in the room, either smelling the different odors or falling into a trace from the drug residue emanating from Doomrider. The champion then asks the warmaster:
"I heard that you were throwing another party Lord Abaddon, do you mind if I join you and cause some ohh-so sensual debauchery along the way?".
Abaddon tells the drug-addled biker that he is indeed commencing another Black Crusade and requires his assistance. Doomrider then takes a 500ml syringe filled with a concentrated cocktail of a hundred different drugs and combat stimulants from his codpiece, stabs the 10 inch long needle into his skull and injects on the spot. The fire burning on Doomrider's head intensifies tenfold as he then yells:
"BY SLAANESH YEEEAAAAAAAH!". Meanwhile, one of Abaddon's sorcerers then drops dead as a flaming axe cleft his head in two, which Abaddon simply shrugs off and moves on.
Just then, Neroth reports that they've finally found Araghast's soul in the warp but they cannot summon it forth or contact it. Seeing as he has little time to waste, Abaddon orders his cabal to tear open a warp rift, which they do without trouble, he then steps in front of it and focuses his mind on his next, unbelievable task. For reasons only Tzeentch would know, Abaddon punches the rift with his right daemonically possessed arm, which causes Sindri to cry out in pain as he is being pushed into another plane of existence. Sindri's psychic screams are also causing the warp rift to expand in size, then some daemon-ichor starts to leak out of the rift. Abaddon continues to feel around in the warp, hoping to duplicate his luck with Sindri and catch yet another great daemon and pull it out of the warp. Much later however a daemon starts to pull Abaddon into the warp and as soon as this happens, against all that is remotely sane, Abaddon pushes his head into the warp rift and gives the daemon an almighty headbutt, almost forcing it to loose it's grip but to no avail for it would not let go. The daemon then lets loose a mighty psychic blast that caused time for Abaddon to stand still as he thought it was his end, but it would appear that the Lord of Decay has more in store for the Despoiler as the chaos god blesses him for his sheer courage, which allowed him to shrug off the psychic blast as if it was but a splash of water. Again, Abaddon gives it another headbutt for it's insolence, which causes the daemon to cry out in agony.
Growing impatient, Abaddon plunges his left arm into the warp and grabs the daemon by the neck, chocking it like a Slaaneshi whore. He then looses his right arm and grabs the daemon's nostril, which causes it to swat Abaddon away in desperation and it finally succeeds in doing so as Abaddon looses his grip with Sindri as the daemon roars on. Gathering up all the reserves of strength Abaddon could muster, Abaddon fights to climb back into the materium while grappling the daemon in one hand, which he successfully managed to do, much to the amazement of everyone in the room. Once out of the warp, the warmaster of Chaos orders his cabal to bind the captured daemon into his left arm, giving him 2 daemonically-possesed appendages but cannot do successfully for the daemon still has the significant strength to resist as it flails and thrashes around.
The daemon shouts:
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS OFFENSE MORTAL, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE A DAEMON PRINCE OF CHAOS?!", to which Abaddon replies: "I am Abaddon, bearer of the Mark of Chaos Ascendant, greatest mortal champion of Chaos Undivided!".
The daemon then scoffs at his boasting as he shouts: "HA! YOU MAY BE A MIGHTY MORTAL CHAMPION, BUT YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A 10,000 YEAR OLD DAEMON SUCH AS I!"
Angered at such arrogance, Abaddon bitch-slaps the daemon with his right hand and tells him that he is also about as old as the daemon and threatens it with more harm unless it agrees to be bound to the warmaster's arm. The daemon continues to resist as he counters:
"FOOLISH HUMAN, I AM M'KAR THE REBORN, PRINCE OF THE WORD BEARERS! DO NOT THINK I WOULD SERVE SUCH A PATHETIC CREATURE LIKE YOU".
Brimming with anger and impatience, Abaddon has had enough of this pompous daemon and picks up Drach'nyen and swiftly thrusts the sword into the daemon's throat, his head then severs as icky daemonic guts spill out. Abaddon then picks up where he left off and fondles around in the warp again with his right hand, again causing Sindri unfathomable pain.
Minutes pass as Abaddon gets hold of something again, this time, less powerful than the last.
"Who are you?! Release me now!", it shouts in protest as Abaddon starts pulls it out of the warp in quick succession.
"Let go! I will feed you your own spleen as I break your back and use your throat as a lash, dog!", the warp entity continues to defy as Abaddon's arm starts to crack and buckle under the stress again.
However Papa Nurgle still watches over the fearless warmaster as he continues to pull it out, preventing his arms from further degrading. Shortly after this, Abaddon managed to successfully pull the soul out as it stands as a purple wisp in his hand, it then threatens:
"Insignificant dog! I shall destroy you for the Black Legion!"
Which Abaddon responds to by swing Sindri at the soul, hitting it and stunning it with a burst of warp energy. Abaddon then, again in all that is odd, presses the stunned soul against his codpiece and uses Sindri's sorcerous powers to bind it into the armor piece. His now raging boner screams:
"HOW DARE YOU! Who the hell do you think I am? I am Araghast the Pillager! Master of Hounds! The Lash of the Black Legion!".
Abaddon then silences his screaming codpiece as he inform it that he is Abaddon the Despoiler, which causes Araghast to ask for forgiveness and ask what can he do to serve him again, which Abaddon replies to by telling him that he will serve in battle once the Black Crusade begins.
Hours pass as the warmaster now tells Ahriman that his Black Crusade will begin now, Eliphas also informs Abaddon that he has captured a multitude of Jokaero. As all is now in place, Abaddon assembles his champion as he prepares to debrief them of his 14th Black Crusade's ultimate goal: To kill the False Emperor as a child, ensuring that it will be an easy affair for he is still weak and frail, he then tunes into the vox and inform the ships of the plan: to travel 40,000 years into the past to kill the Emperor. At first, there was silence amongst the legions of Chaos, they could not believe that this is happening, then they roar out in cheer and appeasement. The fleets of different champions then move into formation as Ahriman and his cabal starts to bend the warp and begin the trip, Abaddon looks on as light and darkness bends at the sheer speed they are going.
"WARRIORS OF CHAOS,IT IS TIME FOR THE GALAXY TO BURN! FOR TODAY WE WILL DEFINE RIGHTEOUSNESS!" Ahriman shouts over the vox,
"Hmmmm....now where have I heard that speech before....?" Eliphas ponders in his mind.
As they continue to travel through time and space, Abaddon sees a multitude of colors, lights, and sequences of it shifting, he feels as if his soul is pulling away from him, then suddenly something totally unexpected: one of Abaddon's Justaerin Terminators enters the room and starts flailing something around while shouting:
"Lord Abaddon, I finally found you original arms! Creed hid them in the engine room!".
As the Terminator continues to flail the arms around in the air, Abaddon is clearly displeased. In anger, he raises up the still confused champion into the air and scolds him on why in the warp would he would still need his old arms when his new bionic ones are better. Then as the infuriated Lord was readying himself to throw the Terminator half-way across the room, a bright burning light suddenly appears as it is now engulfing Abaddon's ship, it appears to be an unstable form of warp energy generated by the time travel process, it continues to expand as it consumed everything. In a panicked and vexed voice, Ahriman yelled:
"WHO IN THE NAME OF TZEENTCH MOVED DAMNIT?!"
Then, in a split second, Abaddon hurled the Terminator he was holding in the air aside and then proceeded to punch the wave of light with his daemonically-possesed fist and unholy might. As Sindri made contact with the energies, he screamed in agony as his metallic form begins to whither away in the intense heat. As he emitted more violent psychic screams, this appears to weaken the energy field in which Abaddon continues to thrust his burning fist deeper into it and then suddenly, after 30 tense second, everything exploded in an eruption of warp and eldritch energy. Abaddon and everyone in his Throne room are knocked back against the wall with two unlucky Chaos marines after having their bodies obliterated by the flickering warp bolts. As things calm down, Ahriman reports: "Ahh, never mind, the anomaly appears to have died down, ready on your mark again Lord Abaddon". As the fearsome warmaster picks himself up, he raises his ruined right arm and observe that it is utterly ruined, Sindri can be heard mewling in pain. As he reorganizes his thought, the warmaster orders Ahriman to commence the time travel ritual again.
Again the enchanting lights appear as Ahriman and his cabal picks up where they left off. After but a few short seconds, Abaddon opens his eyes, it appears that he is still in the Vengeful Spirit but nothing much has changed, he wonders if the ritual was a success. Then Ahriman reports over the vox:
"Welcome to the past my chaotic brethren"
Everyone roared in joy over the success of the ritual and now know that they are one step closer to beheading the Imperium of man. Abaddon then tells everyone to stand by and commence diagnostics to see if any of the ships sustained damage and to rest after their ordeal but know that they will move out in a few hours. He marches towards the Jokaero barracks to see how his primate army is fairing after the time warp and just outside it he can hear the unnerving screeching of the xenos. As he opens the door he finds Eliphas in the center with several chunks of feces hanging from his armor and after a loud sigh, Eliphas says in a sarcastic tone:
"Welcome to our monkey wonderland Lord Abaddon... may I leave now before my short-fused patience burns out and I start spilling monkey blood for the Blood God?".
The warmaster then proceeds to disconnect his ruined right arm and tell Eliphas that he may leave once the Jokaero repairs his arm, which Eliphas reluctantly agrees to as he is again pelted by monkey excrement, "I picked a good day to wear a loyalist Terminator helmet...", Eliphas remarks to himself as the ball of poo hit him spot on the face.
As Abaddon was about to leave the room, Kharn suddenly barges in and yells:
"WE'RE IN THE PAST LORD ABADDON! ISN'T THIS EXCITING?!".
Abaddon gives Kharn a customary brofist with his left arm and then Kharn drags the warmaster over the viewing area, they observe Terra before the great crusade, it isn't darted with golden towers and large manufactorums, it is still covered with blue seas, with large patches of green and brown over top. Great white mists coat the atmosphere of the planet. Kharn then gets one of his berserker spasms and yells:
"THERE MUST BE PLENTY OF BLOOD TO SPILL DOWN THERE!"
As Abaddon was about to give the order to man the drop pods, a Jokaero taps him on the back and presents to him his newly refurbished daemon arm, it is now enhanced with higher quality materials and a power field now surrounds it. Abaddon sends the xenos away as he continues to admire his new chaotic weapon, he then proceeds to ask Sindri how he is fairing, which the traumatized daemon responds:
"Monkey feces... Monkey feces EVERYWHERE"
As the chaos legions prepared to commence their orbital assault, Ahriman asks the warmaster: "Anything to say to our warriors before they kill the false Emperor, my liege?". Abaddon takes a few moments to think on what to say before finally tuning into all the vox channels to give his short speech before planetfall:
"BROTHERS! MARK THIS DAY! IT IS THE DAY WE DESTROY THE VERY FABRIC OF TIME! IT IS THE DAY WE REWRITE HISTORY! IT IS THE DAY THAT NEVER EXISTED AND ONLY EXISTS! LET THE UNIVERSE BURN!".
The deployment shortly begins after Abaddon's speech and numerous drop pods rain down on the surface of Terra, many of the traitor Astartes are foaming at the mouth at the mere thought of having a chance of slaying the hated false Emperor of man. As the second wave plummets down, which the warmaster is partaking in, a frantic voice comes over Abaddon's vox:
"Lord Abaddon, we are under attack from an unknown enemy! What are your orders?!"
Abaddon, still unfazed by the attack, orders the Eliphas to round up the Jokaero and have them link all of the Vengeful Spirit's multilaser defense systems. As the Despoiler continues to order his voices with his vox, a brightlance laser suddenly slices off a hunk of metal near the place where Abaddon's standing which allowed him to see the action outside, it appears that the Eldar the culprits of this attack.
"These effete weaklings dare to stand in my way!?", Abaddon cries out as he rips the hole made by the brightlance even larger as so he could properly aim his weapons.
He then raises up his left arm, which is equipped with his Talon of Horus and his daemonically possessed arm. The Talon of Horus glows with a blue hue as Tzeentch blesses the talon's built-in storm bolter to fire deadly Inferno bolts while his right daemon arm fires a flurry of bolts of change, which makes short work of the Eldar's lightly armored fighters. Dozens of Nightwing fighters are shot down by the warmaster's unquenchable chaotic fury but the attack is still unfazed and the Eldar continue to harass the orbital assault force.
As Abaddon continues shooting at the Eldar craft, a voice comes over the vox, saying that the Jokaero have finished linking the multilaser anti-aircraft system and are ready to shoot down the Eldar wretches without fail.
++This section is still incomplete++ RANDOM WRITEFAG : DOOMRIDER dies cus he went to a time when there is no slaany. So then abaddon comes back, launches faggot crusade and then.. CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!