Humanity Fuck Yeah

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"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fuck with the human race!"

How to make environmentalists cry and feel good about it.


Out of all threads that appear at the /tg/, it is this kind of threads that hold that one special place in the hearts of fa/tg/uys. It shows humanity for what it really is: a savage bunch of hairless apes with machines that rape the planet, leave it drained and dead, so it could just move to rape other planets as well.

Many glorious hours of dedicated hard work were given to these threads, making some of the finest lines which would make any xeno race run to the edge of the known universe, even if said xeno race was still in the stone age. Reasons why humans are such a threat to the rest of the galaxy are various, but a good deal can be summed up in the following list:

  • Our evolution - We evolved and THRIVED in the African savannah, a place where everything is trying to KILL YOU! ALL THE TIME! Aliens usually evolved on some herbivore world or become less "on their guard" due to centuries of living away from nature, not troubled by survival.
  • Our history - Humans have been getting better at killing each other basically even before they made stone axes, and we got better over time. You think proud warrior races have shit on us? Spartan style training they undergo makes only a handful of survivors. No matter how good they are, we'll just drown them in conscripts.
  • Our bodies - Some of us can take an amount of drugs and booze, which is POISON, that would probably kill a decently sized buffalo herd.
  • Our mind -The most terrifying aspect of us would probably be our brains and technology. Our aggressive instincts combined with our intelligence will never cease to come up with better and deadlier ways to torture and exterminate the enemy, and such would proobably seem like incomprehensible Lovecraftian Magic to lower species. Our modern tech would scare the shit out of tribal communities. We have exterminated a lot of species like the Dodo simply by uncaring accident. What we can come up with scares the shit out of ourselves even. Think Nuclear Weapons and M.A.D. for example. What reasonable mind would, on any other planet in the galaxy, EVEN THINK that having enough nuclear firepower to destroy your only planet twenty times over, would be a guarantee of peace?


As you can see there is a lot of material to roll around in these kind of threads. Humans may not be as powerful sometimes, just a serious player in the galaxy through economic superiority or science, but that's not the real "Humanity Fuck Yeah" thread. The real deal is us having our way with the galaxy as we see fit. Murdering billions of xenos, taking their delicious alien babies and eating them in front of their parents, mining their planets to the core and moving on, leaving nothing but dead rocks in our wake. We march on, our mantra singing through the stars:

GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING!

Xenos Pay Attention You're Next[edit]

Our species thought we knew war. We built our civilization on foundations of honor and prowess, we were like a rapier; crippling our foes with small yet decisive blows. We killed our enemies yet we allowed them to surrender, there was no needless killing. That was before the humans came and they showed us the truth...That we were just naive children and that true war is won through unrelenting cruelty and spite. Despite our warriors training despite all their experience they still fell to the innumerable waves that the humans sent against us, they burned our worlds; slaughtering our children in horrific ways using them to learn how to kill us more efficiently. After many blood filled years these Terran butchers arrived on our home and they transformed it into a corpse-filled landscape. I tried to take my life but one of these power armored animals stopped me. As he leveled his vicious weapon at me I noticed his face for the first time; His eyes were filled with murderous glee and his mouth twisted into a sneer he whispered three final words to me..."Humanity, fuck yeah"...

Note: This approach to warfare goes completely against Machiavellian theory. Yes, countless real life civilisations have been brought defeat by being too honourable and that should be avoided, but remember that going too far down the opposite end will either cause other powers to rise up against you through sheer revulsion, or cause internal rebellions. Even if you have the power to win, you will be fighting many unnecessary wars and taking many unnecessary losses. Many "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" works are all about humans winning through pragmatism. That is, actual pragmatism and not running around kicking dogs for the sheer sake of it. Does Joffrey Baratheon ring any bells?

HFY Summed Up in One Quote[edit]

Taken from Warhammer 40,000 Imperial Armour, Volume 12, The Fall of Orpheus.

"Do they not know who we are, my brethren? We are the chosen of the Emperor, the scions of Terra. We are dominion and we are numberless. We are war itself and the death of all who oppose us. We are Humanity and we shall educate our ignorant foes as to the true meaning of that word!" -- Lord Inquisitor Aedrick Mantel of the Ordo Xenos

Unfortunately, we didn't live up to the boast. We lost a whole sector to the Necrons. In hindsight, if you want to boast about HFY, the Imperial Armour series is not really the best place to do it. Let it be said, however, our defeat does not in any way take away from the sheer badassery of the quote.

Trivia[edit]

"Humanity Fuck Yeah" sometimes always refers exclusively to omnicidal maniac-level racism against everything that isn't non-powered and normal human beings (because, you know, a human with superpowers is not really a human, right?). Readers may experience ocular bleeding due to excessive TVTropesisms escaping from humanity's natural habitats. This is a normal, if unpleasant side-effect.

Some great examples of "Humanity Fuck Yeah":

Recommended media about humans kicking ass[edit]

Note: While any media can actually bring a moment of a human kicking ass, it is imperative that such narrative presents humanity as a whole showing exceptional abilities to defeat super-powered/non-human adversity. For example, a book about humans slaughtering hyper-advanced alien invaders is absolutely "Humanity, Fuck Yeah". A book about World War 2 is not "Humanity, Fuck Yeah", because although it presents humans kicking ass and taking names, it is against other humans and so does not count.

Also, "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" only applies if humans are defeating super-powered non-humans through strictly technological means. For example, in XCOM: Enemy Unknown, regular troops gunning down aliens is HFY, as are S.H.I.Vs (little robotic gun platforms) and the glorious MEC troopers (people who have had their arms and legs surgically removed so they can interface with and pilot giant robotic battlesuits) - PSI troopers, although their psychic powers are human-derived, are not HFY, and neither are the genetically-enhanced troopers.

Behold a list of "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" works:

  • Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein.
  • The Damned trilogy, by Alan Dean Foster.
  • Warhammer 40000, obviously. Although admittedly, Humanity Occasionally Does Not Fuck Yeah here.
  • Traveller
  • Mass Effect, at least on Renegade playthroughs.
  • XCOM
  • Stargate, both SG-1 and Atlantis.
  • Pacific Rim. Ye Gods, Pacific Rim.
  • More to come.

Gallery[edit]

These is what we do to OUR home. Think your planet will fare any better, xeno?