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Ollanius Pius

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The most hardcore guardsman....ever

"Where I fall ten more shall take my place! And one-hundred each of them! So strike me down! I am the harbinger!"
--Saint Ollanius Pius, whilst fighting Warmaster Horus

“Why the hell is everything always our job?”
--What he said just before that battle.

The most hardcore Guardsman ever to walk the earth and also the legendary saint of the Imperial Guard. Ollanius Pius put himself directly in front of a walking god of battle who had just ripped apart the strongest Space Marine Primarch in the hopes of protecting the Emperor of Mankind. The fact that he did so without fainting, shitting himself in terror, or mewling like a wounded grox suggests that his testicles must have been forged from Mars-grade Adamantium (or more likely, Power Balls. His testicles were of such might they ignored armor saves in close combat). His death proved that Horus had given himself over to chaos completely (not to mention the act of flaying an AVERAGE PERSON ALIVE WITH A MERE GLANCE proves that you're nothing but a fucking bitch-ass prick), and with this in mind, allowed the Emperor to lay down a righteous psychic asskicking strong enough to rend his former son from existence by destroying his very soul. Yeah, it was that fucking manly poorly written. He is so manly that he makes Vance Motherfucking Stubbs, Commissar Yarrick, Kharn, Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken, Logan Grimnar and Sly Marbo piss themselves in terror.

Naturally, like so much other awesome shit, Games Workshop has retconned him out of existence, first replacing him with a Spehss Mahreen Terminator (which wasn't that bad because it was an Imperial Fists terminator captain rather than a smurf), and then an Adeptus Custodes, which is SIX KINDS OF LAME. (While still less manly than a humble guardsman standing up to the most powerful mortal chaos champion in existence, still better than a smurf Custodes are mini-primarchs damn it!) FUCK YOUR CONTINUITY, GW, FUCK YOU WITH HORUS' TALON.

Fantasy Flight Games brought him back though, which is great justice. And if you trust them, he really is just the most badass guardsman ever. But, NOW, thanks to Dan Abnett, if GW ever returns Ollanius to his place by the Emperor, that's no big deal. HE'S 30,000 FUCKING YEARS OLD NOW!!!!!!!!!!! Now, he is THE EMPEROR'S PEER!! No wonder he stood up to the tainted Horus! he's still a normal human, just one that regenerates and has lived a long time (and he won't get up after Super-Chaos-Horus snuffs him). So . . . Following the trend, he will be added back in and will completely ruin the original point of his existence in that he will actually be the one who mortally hurts Horus, allowing the weak pathetic Emperor to soul fuck both of them and take the credit. (actually, that might be more GRIMDARK likely). Although the Blood Angels say that Sanguinius did that, so he'll probably be the guys who let the Emperor find his way to Horus through his flasgship, or something.

Going back to the REAL MAN we all love, other than the fact that he was man enough to stand-up to daddy's favorite with nothing more than a flashlight and toilet paper armor, not much else is known about him, except that he is a legendary saint of the Imperial Guard, and that still rings true even after GW replaced him with a Terminator and a Custodes. Which probably means that he did even more heroic and manly shit during the Siege of Terra and everything else leading up to the final battle on Horus' flagship. It might also mean that, despite all attempts at GW to turn them from the true path, the faithful Imperial Guard still knows it was really him.

The entire point of the character is to demonstrate that true courage and inner strength can be found even among the weakest (by comparison) of individuals. GW in their infinite understanding completely missed this point and proceeded to replace the brave and ordinary little soldier with a progressively bigger and stronger superhero with every retcon, thus in a way making Horus' fall to Chaos seem less and less despicable; the original story of a superhuman so remorselessly killing the regular human could be seen in a similar light as a grown man killing a child, Ollanius' death would have been proof enough to show the Emperor that his prized son had finally gone too far and was beyond any sort of help. It can almost be certain that the next retcon will trade up the Custode for one of the missing Primarchs (such as the glorious and magnificent Ollanius Partridge). Further updates will subsequently add the terminator, the custode, the second missing primarch and an imperial titan for good measure, all at the same time.

However, in the Visions Of Heresy Novel, the humble Imperial Guardsman is back with his heroic act of sacrifice, though it is not stated, whether his name was Ollanius Pius.

He also has a relic in the latest 6th Edition Astra Militarum/Imperial Guard codex, with the fluff saying he martyred himself against Horus and is the epitome of Imperial Sainthood. The Dark Heresy Blood of Martyrs splat mentions him there, saying the story of Pius is apocryphal (bringing up that other organizations have their own version of the tale) but still frequently told and he is widely venerated among Guardsmen as an exemplar of what a faithful Guardsman should be. So the Imperial Guard apparently canonically believes the original version of the tale, whether or not that's what actually happened.

New Fluff[edit]

Also known as "Why the Black Library should not be allowed to write or sell anything"

Oll Pius returns, better than ever. Note the cross around his neck.

In Dan Abnett's Horus Heresy novel "Know No Fear" Ollanius Pius' lore has changed dramatically. In the book he is named "Ollanius Perrson" (or "Oll" to his friends) and is part of a small group of immortal humans spread throughout the galaxy called Perpetuals. John Grammaticus (who is alive and well) claimed that out of the entire Ultramarine empire (which at the time consisted of a staggering 500 planets) there are only three Perpetuals (the total amount in the Imperium is unknown, but almost certainly not much higher). Pius is confirmed to be at least 30,000 years old and is the same "breed" as Grammaticus and possibly the Emperor. At first this sounds like GW is missing the point again, but besides his extreme age and the whole immortality thing he seems to just be a normal human with normal human strength (coupled with the fact that, by all indications, he hasn't died once so far). Which, when compared to the psyhcic gestalt ubermensch that is the Emperor, is kind of important; Ollanius is more representative of every strength (and weakness) of Mankind than the Emperor EVER was.

In the days of ancient Terra he was one of the Argonauts who adventured with Jason on the Argo to get the Golden Fleece and later he learned how to fight with a bayonet whilst fighting for the French in the trenches at Verdun during World War I. (lol French SUCE MA BITE, French soldiers were such bad enough dudes during WW1 they wore blue fucking uniforms to give German soldiers a chance to even their awesomeness by mass shooting them BEFORE a French soldier was close enough to say "DANS TON CUL" while stabbing a poor dude. No wonder why Ollanius is such a badass.) He actually demonstrates his bayonet-trench fighting skills at Verdun in the novel "Angel Exterminatus." In Angel Exterminatus, the Iron Warriors Trident Warsmith Kroeger has a flashback (sort of, the memories were the memories of other people) and relives the near-death of "Carl", a German soldier at the hands of one "Olivier Perrson." Carl thought Ol was very rude because he interrupted Carl's dinner. Yes, poor Carl's dinner. Ol happened upon Carl eating . . . Carl's own commander. Oh yeah, Carl was a closet cannibal. Still, Carl thought it was a bit of an overreaction by an overly Pius asshole to stab Carl in the gut. Carl was only saved from a certain death when the crush of the battle forces Ol out of the trench.

He was also a member of the Fellowship of the Ring, a Harry Potter classmate and a main contributor to quantum theory (Dan Abnett likes to mix popular references without any sense) but these facts was finally removed from the novel because of lack of space.

He is confirmed as being very religious but hates Chaos and looks to the Emperor as a peer rather than a god/divine. He was a veteran in the Imperial Army before retiring to become a farmer on Calth. In the events of Know No Fear Pius joins in the fight against Chaos.

We don't get it either but a vision given to Ollanius by Grammaticus indicates that he'll be restored to his original status as the person who sacrifices his life to save the Emperor from Horus, so at least he's back. Of course, whether he actually dies when this happens given the Perpetuals' ability to resurrect themselves upon death is anyone's guess. He might, as during Mark of Calth he realizes that this is going to be the end for him. Which makes sense given that he was killed by a super-chaos Horus. You don't get up from that, immortality won't help you if your soul is snuffed out. But perhaps not.

How Ollanius can be a Terminator and a Guardsman[edit]

All anyone can really know is that someone in Terminator Armor charged Horus, or some random chucklefuck Guardsman charged Horus. Here's a resolution to the debate about how retarded one can possibly be when writing up shitty explanations for GW's bullshit retcons.

Ollanius Pius is some random chucklefuck Guardsman who happened to be caught defending the palace with all the other chucklefuck Guardsmen. In the middle of defending, some random Terminator gets shot in the back while running to cover next to him. There's a nice big hole in the armor, and since he's fucked enough anyway, he decides to try his hand at piloting it. Shortly after climbing into the armor, Horus drops his void shields, and every Space Marine (anyone in power armor) is simultaneously teleported up. Between having no idea how to move properly, not understanding communications or Space Marine tactics, and being teleported at random, he loses the rest of dead Termi's squad. Eventually he manages to get his bearings, and stumbles around long enough that he runs into Horus about to murder the Emperor. Deciding that Terminator Armor is motherfucking invincible, and The Emperor is a nice fellow, and he's fucked anyway, he charges Horus as best some random chucklefuck guardsman can in a vehicle he has been piloting for the last five minutes armed with a weapon he has no training with. As Horus slowly melts the less than indestructible Adamantium exoskeleton off his body, The Emperor notices that the person piloting it is, in fact, a random chucklefuck guardsman. This inspires him to mind rape Horus.

Ollanius Pius is the saint of blind luck and "I'm dead anyway, fuck it". These are the two qualities which define the Imperial Guard.

A small piece of writefaggatory that explains Ollanius infinitely better than the fuckwit above[edit]

WARNING: The following entry is so manly that reading out loud may cause you to suddenly grow a beard. Girls, do not read this out loud.

A fa/tg/uy's explanation on Ollanius:


He's spent months fighting a grueling war in which his enemies are demigods allied with daemons, and now he's found himself in the closest thing to Hell he's ever known. He probably wasn't even supposed to get teleported up to the arch-traitor's battle barge in the first place, and just ended up in the wrong place at the worst possible time.

Somehow he's survived horrors beyond comprehension to make his way to the very bridge of Horus' flagship. He saw a veritable angel call upon Horus to answer for his crimes, and he saw that angel die as messily as any guardsman. His Emperor - who he fervently believes is a god incarnate, even if he's not supposed to - lies mortally wounded, and Horus, perhaps, has taken a moment to gloat before he strikes the killing blow.

His armor is slightly more effective than tissue paper, his weapon slightly more powerful than a flashlight. A single electrified claw from Horus' weapon is bigger than his entire body. He stands before a being infused by the dark gods' with incalculable power, that can and will obliterate his soul with no more effort than it would take him to swat a gnat. Nothing he can do could possibly make a difference.

He could run. He could turn his weapon on himself. He could give in to the insidious whispers that echo from the ship's corridors into his mind.

Ollanius Pius does the duty his Emperor requires of him. He dies standing and holds the fucking line.

A short poem about Ollanius Pius[edit]


The first time I hold my blood in my hands,
The first time I see a man with nothing.
Would be the first time I see my own lands,
Covered in heresy, death, and rotting.

My son stands over him corrupt and pale,
A guard Ollanius Pius stands free.
My fallen Horus lifts the deadly flail,
In one instant, the strength of man I see.

This mere man done what I was unable.
A tear flows from my eye and it is clear,
The tyrant's cold reign I must disable.
Briefly I know what it is to feel fear.

I leave the future to the strength of man,
For they alone do far more than I can.

Another poem regarding Ollanius[edit]

Somewhere in the universe coin flip lands on its side.

Somewhere in the universe a drop of water saves a life.

Somewhere in the universe a pebble stops a landslide.

Maybe it’s because someone believed hard enough.

Maybe it’s because everything is secretly fair.

Maybe it’s because the universe is a big place.

Yesterday I was very cold.

Yesterday I was very hungry.

Yesterday I wanted to run away.

Today I am going to believe hard enough.

Today a pebble will stop a land slide.

Today I’m not going anywhere.

Famous members of the Imperial Guard
Commanders: Colonel Greiss - Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken - Commander Kubrik Chenkov
General Sturnn - General Vance Stubbs - General Lukas Alexander
Lord General Castor - Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed - Lord Solar Macharius
Commissars: Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt - Commissar Lord Bernn
Commissar Ciaphas Cain - Commissar Holt - Commissar Yarrick
Guardsmen: Colour Sergeant Jarran Kell - Sergeant Harker - Sergeant Lukas Bastonne
Sergeant Merrick - Nork Deddog - Ollanius Pius - Sly Marbo