Adventure Time 40k

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Small Book.pngThe following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

Brother-Captain Finn looked around the Lemongrab. Veteran Sergeant Jake walked towards him.

"Captain! The tech-marines tell me we are ready to hunt down that xenos witch." Jake growled in his rough, war-scarred voice.

"Good," Finn replied. "She is going to face the wrath of Glob for what she has done to Brother Billy."

He assembled the remainder of his force and winced. The Ice King had taken many men that were close to him before he was brought down.

"Men!" Finn roared. "Today we take vengeance on the hated witch Marceline! Our Fallen shall be avenged, glory shall fall on us, and we shall wage holy war in Glob’s name!"

War cries and shouts of victory echoed through the Lemongrab. Finn smiled. Today he would avenge "Bubblegum".

"Ready the droppods," he told Forge Master Duke, hiding the pain of loss in his voice.

"Yes sir."

Finn walked into his personal pod. Jake, Beemo, and Naptor were ready and waiting for him. As the drop pods fell he anticipated the battle. Ten long, agony filled years. Their purpose about to be fulfilled.

Finn’s men landed shortly before sunset. They had interrogated a number of individuals corrupted by the Witches power.

He had her location.

She would not escape.

Not this time.

Finn took the Holy Defender from his wall. Tonight it would taste witch blood.

He had battled his way through cultists to find that Jake and Naptor had been split off. Leaving Beemo and himself to face the witch. CRASH! "WTF was that?" Finn asked. The witch had hurled a spear through the wall and it had pierced Beemo.


She struck him with a bolt of warp thunder. Finn struggled as he bacame aware that he could not move anymore. The witch stepped forward.

"Greetings," she smirked.

"Foul witch! I shall hang your insides from atop a steeple! I’ll grind you into dust!"

She laughed. "I shall see you try, no doubt. But I didn't lead you on this chase merely to kill you. Oh no. I have rather... different plans." She smiled. "Had I wanted you dead I would have simply poisoned you instead of killing your precious little girlfriend and leading you on this goose chase. No. What I wanted was you."

Captain Finn feebly reached for his chainsword. She approached and kicked his hand aside.

"What spell have you put on me, witch?" he asked in great pain.

She laughed once more. "Dear Captain," she smirked, "do not worry about such things. Rather worry about what I’m going to do to you."

She lay on top of him and he felt her as if he were without armour. As she began, he grabbed his chainsword and swiped toward her. She barely dodged and surprise filled her eyes, "Well, Finn, aren't you feisty now?" she smirked.

He began to feel his limbs growing strong again. "Witch, you have taken all from me and now I will take what little you have left: your life." She let a small gasp issue forth and then raised her spear. Finn, with recovered strength and drawing from righteous fury, leapt and swung his chainsword only to meet air above the witches head as she ducked. She tripped him and stabbed her spear into his third lung. Then his second heart. He bellowed in pain.

"Scream more for me!" Her sinister command echoed through the halls. She twisted the spear in his stomach and rib cage. She tortured him this way for almost an hour.

"Witch!" a familiar voice bellowed. "Die, in the Glob-Emperor’s name!" Bolt fire started to rain down. Marceline had to concentrate to merely stop the rain from destroying her.

"I sense you, half-breed! Step forward and face me as a psyker should!" the witch bellowed in pain. A lone battle sister stepped forth.

"Lia," Finn said with relief.

"Her name is not Lia. The witch bellowed. How are your mother and father, Lofn?" The witch asked in a satisfied smirk.

At the mention of the name, Lia flew into frenzy, just as he had. The witch put the same cruel tortures she had put on him to her. As the witches back was turned to him he threw his chainsword and it met the witch’s neck. Her head fell to the ground, finally dead.

"Mathematical," Finn said.