Catfight Lesbians

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Small Book.pngThe following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

Catfight Lesbians

Chapter 1

The Camaro's tires sang, quieting briefly as the car crested the hill and broke contact with the road, landing with a soft bounce that Bail-Out's lovely tank-top encased breasts were happy to go along with. The Camaro was a '69 427, a monster from the primordial days that had somehow been tamed, and Eight relished the vibration it sent back through the seat to her when its great engine roared.

"Check the map again," she said, lighting another cigarette with her right hand while her left remained firmly at ten o'clock. The speedometer drifted to 150...160... "I think we're getting close."

Bailey "Bail-Out" Green unfolded the map again, tracing a path along the highway with one well-manicured finger. "It should be about two miles from here. County Road X," Bail-Out said, slipping one hand underneath the map. Eight flicked her eyes to the prim, beautiful blonde and floored it, drawing a delightful gasp of pleasure from her co-pilot's luscious lips as the country scenery whipped by. She grinned and turned her eyes back to the road, just in time to see the sign for CRX coming up.

"Sorry, babe," she said, shifting the Camaro down and dropping its roar by several octaves. "Business time."

Neither woman had spoken a word about the job to each other since they got in the car. Bail-Out had been the pit crew's last hold-out, arguing that they didn't need upgrades that badly. She knew more than anyone else that crime usually didn't pay, but when Eight wanted something badly enough she didn't let anything stop her. So here they were.

The Camaro crested the last hill, and the women saw the black police van a half-mile down the road in front of them. The road was perfectly straight, perfectly flat. "Let's roll." Bail-Out shivered and bit her knuckles, pressing her thighs together with nervous excitement as the engine tore up the distance between them and the van, 180, 185...

As they approached, Bail-Out rolled the window down and leaned out, holding the miniature bazooka steady and aiming it at the rear doors. Zipper had whipped up the launcher out of some leftover scrap, and it served its purpose well enough, launching the sticky package to impact against the bottom of the right door with a solid thud. As soon as Bail-Out ducked back inside Eight hit the brakes, watching the speeding armored van outpace them.

The two women grinned at each other and looked up just in time to see the rear of the van bloom in a cloud of fire. Its rear dropped to the road as the tire disappeared, inertia dragging it forward before finally coming to a rest. Eight floored it and spun the Camaro around to plant the passenger side nearly flush with the smoking rear, and without pause Bail-Out's limber form slid out of her seat and under the van's dangling rear door. A moment later the charred and smoking door clanged open, and a huge dirty-blonde woman emerged into the hot summer sun, squinting and flexing. Eight was shocked - the woman was even bigger than Butch Cassie. Behind her two other women emerged, one olive-skinned with shoulder-length black hair and a salaciously meager prison jumpuit, and a wiry, athletic Asian girl in her own downsized uniform.

The raven-haired woman leaned down and pressed her torso into the passenger window, propping herself up with her hands and thrusting her chest out. There was a tattoo of a scorpion on the swell of her left breast. Through the windshield Eight could see the other two escapees taking care of the guards.

"You our ride?"

Chapter 2

The Camaro's tires squealed and sent up a cloud of smoke as Eight floored it going into the corner, desperately trying to escape the sirens dogging her rear. It was supposed to be so simple, just pick them up and drop them off. Then they got to the drop-off, and everything went bad.

"Get this rattle-trap going faster!" Razor shouted, leaning forward from the back seat. "They're gaining on us!"

"I might be able to go faster if there weren't six people in the car!" Eight shot back angrily, gripping the steering wheel and coaxing the Camaro under her breath. "There's only five-" the huge woman started, before Eight cut her off. "You count for two!"

Suddenly, Eight felt the woman's thick arm around her throat, cutting off her air and forcing her head cruelly back into the headrest! "We could get rid of some weight here," she grinned, as Bail-Out shrieked and tugged at her meaty bicep, raking her nails along the scorpion tattoo that bulged as the big woman flexed harder.

"Squeeze!" Razor said calmly. "Knock it off, we don't wanna crash." Eight gasped and pitched forward as soon as she was released, grabbing her throat and staring daggers at the women in her rear-view mirror. The big woman's reflection grinned, and as Bail-Out looked back Squeeze puckered her lips and winked maliciously at her.

"Are you all righ-" Bailey started, halting as Kate - Eight - slapped her hand away.

"I'm fine!" Eight hissed. "Just look for a place to ditch these cops!"

"Uhh-" Bail-Out stammered, flipping the map over and searching it frantically. "Take a right here!"

Razor, being on the right side of Squeeze, was caught off-guard as the car whipped right, forcing her face into Squeeze's prodigious chest. Nails, already wedged directly behind Eight's left shoulder, squeaked as she was pressed into the corner and buried in feminine muscle.

Bail-Out happily found herself pressed up against Eight, and dropped one hand to the other woman's thigh. The moment was short-lived - both women gasped as they passed the orange sign: ROAD CLOSED AHEAD. "Oh no, I forgot they started road work last month!" Bail-Out moaned, flipping the map over and over in desperation. She stopped and looked up as she realized Eight was accelerating. "What are you doing? Didn't you see the sign?"

"Relax," Eight said, lighting another cigarette. "We're almost in the clear."

The highway worker rubbed her forehead with one thick leather glove and tipped her hardhat up, letting the sun dry her flowing hair and low-cut top as her friend carefully steered the steamroller forward. By the time her ears registered the sound of the Camaro's engine the car was already careening around a line of cones and speeding right at them! As it shot past the pretty crewman she shrieked and jumped back, but just as it swerved and disappeared into the sea of orange the swell of police sirens overtook its roar. As the voluptuous public employee watched, one of the pursuing cars drifted into the line of cones and slid sideways, slamming to a stop against the steamroller. The two beautiful officers scrambled out the driver's door, just in time to see their car flattened like a pancake!

Meanwhile, Eight slalomed back and forth between the two lanes, dodging signs and equipment. She tossed a smoky glance back at the car in her rear-view and nudged the Camaro to the right. The cop took the bait, moving sideways just far enough to clip a sign and wedge it against the windshield. The patrol car slid sideways and screeched to a halt, but the Camaro's third pursuer was relentless, riding their tail no matter how hard they shook it. Suddenly the cones and signs fell away, and the patrol car pressed its advantage, pulling up along the Camaro's passenger side.

"Pull over!" the full-lipped Highway Patrol officer shouted, reflecting the speeding Camaro and the blur of scenery in her aviator glasses. "You are under arrest!"

Bail-Out grinned and slipped off her tank top, clutching the doorframe with one hand and climbing up to sit on the windowsill. "Are you going to strip-search me, Officer?" she called, tossing her shirt at the gorgeous Highway Patrol officer. The patrol car swerved as the officer grabbed the skimpy tank-top and sniffed it before tossing it onto the passenger seat. Now clad in nothing but her shorts and bra, Bail-Out swayed and undid the clasp on her back, tossing the bra at the patrol car playfully and catching it on the radio antenna. The officer bit her lip and glared at the two with stormy lust, reaching down inside the shorts of her uniform with one hand and turning the wheel toward the Camaro with the other.

The two cars banged together, sending Bail-Out's firm assets up and down. With less than a foot between them, she tucked her toes under the edge of the bucket seat, slid her thumbs under the top of her low-cut shorts and slowly wiggled back and forth as she shimmied out of them, kicking them onto the Camaro's floor.

Now completely naked, she stood and leaned backward out of the Camaro, stretching one leg out and stepping into the window of the patrol car, bringing her foot down between the officer's legs and straddling the gap between the cars! The officer parted her lips and gasped as Bail-Out's heel pressed backward.

The two cars flew down the interstate, the beautiful girl's supple bare form spread between them, while both of them continued their race to the finish. Bail-Out's soft mouth opened as she tossed her hair back, long blonde hair streaming backward in the hot wind, but just as she began to lose herself Eight grabbed her wrist and pulled her back inside!

"No!" the officer cried out, losing her concentration and skidding sideways, crushing a row of orange cones. As the Camaro shot out of view the patrol car straightened out and came to a screeching halt. The officer snatched off her sunglasses and threw them out the window, then bit her lip and pressed her hand under her shorts again, fuming.

No one was around to hear her cross the finish line.

Bail-Out pulled her shorts back on as Eight cleared the last of the cones and roared into the outskirts of the city as the sun began to set in front of them.

"Nice moves back there," Razor grinned. "Let us off at the corner up ahead."

"No way," Eight responded, cigarette clenched in her teeth. "And don't even think of grabbing me, Squeeze, or I'll roll this car just to get you off. You jailbirds are too hot to let go; they'd be all over you in a second, and then we'd be next."

"We're gonna take you someplace safe."

Chapter 3

"I don't like it," Butch Cassie fumed, as Eight sidestepped again to keep herself between the two titanic females. "We got paid to spring 'em, not to babysit 'em!"

Things had been going downhill since they got back to the garage. Every cop in town was looking for them, and it was only a matter of time before someone who knew the racers connected the Charger to the scene. Eight had barely gotten past the introductions when the squabbling erupted, and help wouldn't be here until the next morning.

"You wanna say that without your girlfriend in the way, fat-ass?" Squeeze taunted. "Or should I get rough with her again? She might like that. I know I did."

"You bitch!" Cassie shrieked, lunging at the bigger woman despite Eight's attempt to keep them separated. "I'll kill you!" Squeeze took the charge easily, flinging Butch Cassie to the side as Eight stumbled to her knees and recovered.

"Come on!" Squeeze shouted, spreading her arms outward. "You want me, I'm right here!" Butch Cassie roared and launched herself forward, plowing into the bigger woman's stomach and forcing her backward into a row of metal drawers. As they rebounded the drawer crashed to the floor and spilled open, sending bits of metal pinging all over the garage floor. Cassie made a choking sound as Squeeze pinned her on her back and wrapped a thick hand around her windpipe.

"Hey!" Eight shouted at Razor. "Make her stop!"

Razor threw an indifferent glance at the other woman. "You make her stop. This is how things get settled on the island."

"This isn't the island," Eight hissed, drawing herself up to her full height, her lean voluptuous body mere inches from the savagely beautiful convict's. As she leaned forward she grasped Razor's wrist tightly. "You won't last a minute around here without our help," Eight whispered, parting her lips just before they grazed the other woman's ear. "This city will eat you alive," she breathed.

Razor shook her wrist free and stepped back, bumping against a counter and glowering at Eight. "Squeeze!" she barked angrily. "Knock it off!" The big woman looked up and opened her mouth to say something, but Razor cut her off before she could start. "I said knock it off! Go take a walk and cool down." Squeeze shot one more death-glare at Butch Cassie before letting her up. Cassie gasped and pushed herself up, fists clenching and unclenching.

The side door banged as Squeeze slammed it behind her, leaving the six others in the cool silence of the fluorescent lights.

"So," Eight said, breaking the ice. "How about I get us some beers and we swap stories?"

"..and then I say, 'You want it so bad, go fish,' and I toss it in the water!"

Razor grinned as Eight choked on a mouthful of beer while the rest of the garage erupted into laughter. As she took another swig her gaze passed over everyone in the room and settled on the quiet girl in a pair of coveralls perched on the hood of Butch Cassie's '52 Coronet. "Hey, how come you never say anything?" Razor asked, taking another swallow. "You're not even laughing."

"Leave her alone, Raze," Eight said, pitching her bottle into the trash can. "Zipper's just quiet."

"She's smart enough not to talk," Butch Cassie said, finishing off her own bottle, several beers farther along than the others. "She's a genius-" Cassie paused to down half her next beer in one go. "Pure genius. 'Scuse me, I gotta hit the lil' girl's room," she said, squeezing between Bail-Out's plastic green lawn chair and the stripped Monte Carlo behind it.

"Should we-?" Razor asked as she watched Cassie stumble out of the bathroom and veer off into the dark with a crash. Eight raised a hand and waved her off. "Nah, she'll go pass out on the couch. It's fine. And speaking of which..." Eight nodded at Nails, who was curled up in her own chair, fast asleep.

"Lightweight," Razor confided with a grin. "Two beers and she's out." She yawned and finished off the rest of her own bottle. "I think I could take a nap. Been up for two days."

Eight spread her long legs out in front of her, pressing the heels of her boots into the concrete floor and stretched. "Bailey, you ready to hit the sack?"

"What about them?" Bailey whispered as Eight led her by the hand to their loft above the garage.

"Don't worry, babe. They've got no place to go - this is their only safe spot, and she knows it."

Zipper jumped and turned around as the side door of the garage clanged shut, suddenly finding her trapped between Squeeze and the worktable.

"So tell me," Squeeze asked, leaning in, one massive arm on each side of the mechanic's lithe body. "Why do they call you Zipper?"

The girl smiled and raised one hand to her chest, drawing her fingers downward and parting the zipper that ran down the middle of her coveralls.

Game information

Thanks to the efforts of a couple of hard-working neckbeards, the characters in this story have all been statted for both Car Lesbians and Catfight: Tactics:

The Car Lesbians

Kate "Eight" Hutch
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 7
  • Car: 8
  • Trunk points: 0 (6 before Pit Crew)
  • Score points: 5
  • Drift points: 4
  • Background: Girl on Girl Action
  • Background: Long, Hard Burn
  • Background: A Little Something Under the Hood (Car)
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 50 XP
  • ATK - 3, DEF - 8
  • PHY - 6, RES - 12, HP 18
  • INT - 6, WP - 3
  • SPD - 9, AP - 9
  • Tier 1 attacks: Grapple, Strike

Bailey "Bail-Out" Green
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 8
  • Car: 6
  • Trunk points: 5
  • Score points: 6
  • Drift points: 5 (2+3)
  • Background: Hard, Hard Time
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 46 XP
  • ATK - 3, DEF - 8
  • PHY - 6, RES - 11, HP 18
  • INT - 5, WP - 3
  • SPD - 8, AP - 8
  • Tier 1 attacks: Push, Strike

Butch Cassie
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 5
  • Car: 8
  • Trunk points: 5
  • Score points: 4
  • Drift points: 3
  • Background: Large Lorry Reversing
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 46 XP
  • ATK - 2, DEF - 8
  • PHY - 10, RES - 16, HP 30
  • INT - 4, WP - 3
  • SPD - 6, AP - 6
  • Tier 1 attacks: Push, Strike

Rose "Zipper" Williams
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 7
  • Car: 8
  • Trunk points: 5
  • Score points: 4
  • Drift points: 3
  • Background: Hardcore Drilling Action
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 44 XP
  • ATK - 1, DEF - 7
  • PHY - 5, RES - 11, HP 15
  • INT - 10, WP - 5
  • SPD - 5, AP - 5
  • Tier 1 attacks: Strike, Trip

The Catfight: Tactics gang

Fanny "Razor" Rogers
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 7
  • Car: 5
  • Trunk points: 0 (4 before Pit Crew)
  • Score points: 4
  • Drift points: 2
  • Background: Hard, Hard Time
  • Background: Initial D-cup
  • Background: Done in 60 Seconds
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 70 XP
  • ATK - 7, DEF - 13
  • PHY - 8, RES - 14, HP 24
  • INT - 9, WP - 4
  • SPD - 6, AP - 6
  • Tier 1 attacks: Strike (combo slot), Encourage
  • Tier 2 attacks: Backhand
  • Tier 3 attacks: Insult to Injury, Intimidate

Brooke "Nails" Sinclair
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 7
  • Car: 4
  • Trunk points: 3
  • Score points: 4
  • Drift points: 2
  • Background: Tokyo Drift
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 65 XP
  • ATK - 9, DEF - 16
  • PHY - 4, RES - 8, HP - 12
  • INT - 3, WP - 3
  • SPD - 10, AP - 10
  • Tier 1 attacks: Jab (combo slot), Reaction Strike, Diving Charge
  • Tier 2 attacks: Reverse, Skirmish
  • Tier 3 attacks: Reaction Trip, Sweep Kick

Olga "Squeeze" Ostevich
(Car Lesbians version)
  • Hotness: 6
  • Car: 5
  • Trunk points: 4
  • Score points: 4
  • Drift points: 2
  • Background: Fire Crotch
(Catfight: Tactics version)
  • 65 XP
  • ATK - 6, DEF - 12
  • PHY - 11, RES - 17, HP 33
  • INT - 3, WP - 3
  • SPD - 5, AP - 5
  • Tier 1 attacks: Grab (combo slot), Push
  • Tier 2 attacks: Drag, Choke
  • Tier 3 attacks: Throw, Rage, Insult to Injury