Emperors of Africa

So, some dudes with a kajillion dollars each get their shit together, and get a hold of a huge remote control military. Then, they use it to pacify Africa. They provide free or heavily subsidized internet, schools, healthcare, transportation, power, water, and other amenities. Almost everything is legal, but thieves, rapists, murderers, and perpetrators of fraud are used in war games.

Also there's other weird shit that the rich folks do for fun. Almost all of it has tons of secret passages everywhere.

Quest Givers

Most law enforcement is contracted out to citizens.

The Library

Taller than the library at Trinity College in Dublin.

You have to have a 30 foot ladder to get to the books on the top shelf.

There would be a huge restricted section... at the bottom of the eighth floor, down a spiral staircase made of carved stone.

The cobwebs would never be cleared out. In fact, we should fill the restricted section with spiders just so it's filled with cobwebs however, the webs degrade when light is shown on them, so a hidden master switch would make the restricted section available.

a grand library. The kind of library that you need ladders and stairways to properly explore. Hidden in the library, behind a bookcase with one of those book triggers, would be a bar, with its own underground cellar.

In the center of my library, on top of a circular platform of bookshelves, up a stone stairway, would be the gaming table. Over the table would be a skylight, around and on the table would have lights for all sorts of mood and usefulness. The Gaming Table would have an LED display which would be used for the map, as well as any other display needs the group might need, such as character portraits, or other visual aids.

The Arena

However, instead of a death penalty, or life imprisonment, my convicts are sentenced to either indentured state servitude, or "The Games".

The games would essentially be a real Life RTS, with different scenarios based on the requests and funds of eccentric billionaires.

You wanna play 40k with Orks versus marines? we buy those exoskeletons, armor them up, and have the two armies duke it out.

There's an extra fee for lethal games.

I shall set about building a high tech gladiator stadium, gladius, claymore, trident and net, all matter of melee weaponry. The call will be put out, Death row inmates, world wide, could ask to fight in the arena as their death, Regular men could ask to fight to prove their worth, at No cost.

Anyway, I'd buy a good-sized island and deck it out with techno-future architecture. Something like a grittier, more dystopian Tron and rig the island with small cameras hiding at every corner. Afterwards I host a lottery where 20 winners are allowed to play on this Island with me as the DM, hiring cast members to play as enemies or NPCs for me. All of the lottery winners are given goals based on their characters and it essentially becomes an island sized game of laser tag with specific goals for the participants. Players can kill each other but are not encouraged to as multiple people can win the game so long as they accomplish their goals. This is televised until the public gets bored and I make even more cash off of it. I will eventually retire there.

Also speakers in the floor. Everyone deserves their own theme music wherever they go.

The Haunted House

would build a haunted mansion. It would look like the creepiest thing you'd ever seen. It would be on a hill, and I would zone the plot as a graveyard, pay for dead people's coffins, make the graves free, but only if the dead were actually buried in my yard.

There would be a hedge maze. A fucking huge hedge maze. The bushes would grow over walls that were built, ala Labyrinth. Trapdoors everywhere, even a swamp in the middle of it.

I would play spooky tapes out the window every night, break glass in the dead of darkness, and kids would hold their breath as they walked past my house on the way to school.

Every evening, in the most visible room for anyone with a set of binoculars or a telescope, a man would light large number of candles, while an actual lightswitch would be turned on. It would be just enough where it would appear to be candlelight, but also enough to ensure visibility. He would seemingly hang himself, and act as such for several hours, until the candles burned out, as the lights were dimmed.

I would also have an aviary, on the roof, comprised of nothing but crows. They would circle around the roof, for extra ambiance. I would feed them whilst wearing a wooden mask, in the shape of a wolf's head. If I was walking around town, I would make sure that no one knew who I was, seeing as how I would never meet the neighbors 'in character'.

Then I would have a prize, if they could reach a certain room with a single chalice. The house would have so many secret passageways that people would be lost for days, so I would have a ton of areas where I stored food and drink, in case they got lost.

I would have ambient, scary ass music piped in, at all times. Sometimes, just drums, far off in the distance. I would hire people to look like they had been lost for weeks, stranded in my courtyard. They would tell the players their woes, and be in character. They would also sabotage player's attempts at 'cheating'; if a player was leaving a trail of yarn, they would cut the yarn and make off with it.

The prize would be a large sum of money, sent in bundles every year. If the secret of the prize, or the nature of the crazy house ever reached the public, I would stop sending money. This would ensure silence.

There would be an old security guard at the gate, who would tell interested players that only two could enter at a time, as per the instructions he was given when he received the job from an ad in the newspaper. If he lets in any more players, he tells them, he loses his job.

If people sneak onto the property, I would make it plain that wolves were on the property, though onlookers would only see them in a certain area. This is because I don't want people getting hurt, so I would make it appear as if the wolves had free reign, but they are in fact caged off. Hopefully those who would 'cheat' would lose heart. Also, the howling of wolves does wonders to give people the willies.

The Metal Monsters

I'd create a secret foundry where twisted metal leviathans and sculpted creatures are to be forged and chiseled. Then I would place them in discrete and easily discoverable areas on north america and wait for them to be discovered. The largest of which would be placed underwater, strategically placed so that buffeting currents remove any sign of chisels or welding. The smaller ones would be mechanically aged in my erosion vaults that I would create, simulating centuries of erosion and exposure to the sun. Though it would eventually be discovered, not for several decades after their placement. mainly they would go buried in the ground, underwater, in rivers, on mountainsides, hidden on plateaus and natural rock mazes then I would never tell anyone anything.

The Tower of Gaming

Also build great tower of gaming. A round tower, maybie 5-6 stories high, with my own penthouse at the very top. Must be at least a facade of stone, to give it that authentic look. And at least 3 gargoyles.

First floor is a kitchen and dining room. Second through sixth are rooms for various forms of gaming, tabletop and otherwise. One room will be for tabletop gaming, dnd and so forth. Multiple Sultan gaming tables. (http://www.geekchichq.com/Co_Store/The_Showroom/The_Sultan/The_Sultan.html) As well as complete libraries of 2nd, 3rd, 3.5, 4th edition DND (first editions are locked in the basement vault), Shadowrun, Call of Cuthulu, and pretty much whatever else sounds fun. Another floor is for group console gaming and freeplay, featuring everything from atari to the latest in console gaming (And every game worth playing). Yet another floor is for PC gaming (periodically updated). I am also debating adding in an Angry Dome, and an Ostentatiary (a room dedicated to being rediculously Ostentatious). As mentioned before, the basement is the vault, heavily guarded (by golems and traps, preferably). Within lies the great treasures of gaming, each stored in its own vacuum sealed area.

My room will reside at the top. It should be pretty basic. A small kitchenette, fridge, television and arm chair. Bed, one of the smaller gaming tables (for private sessions), desk with computer, and a 360 degree view of my forest kingdom. Anything else worth adding will be placed in multiple Alexandria Codexs placed strategicly. Also, a laundry chute that I just added, and a closet. Might need another floor for that.

And thats just the start.

The Asylum

>refurbished five+ floored asylum with 100+ bedrooms >seal windows in bricks, replace with flatscreen monitors >lighting rigged to follow residents, illuminating a 10' square >hundreds of Roombas re-dressed as chrome hemispheres >air conditioners rigged for permanent 60oC temperature >rollerblades for all staff members >staff dressed as THX-1138's cops >free rent for friends who want to game on the weekends >gigantic pool in basement, with slide from cafeteria >wifi net with terminals resembling gunners' pits, with sandbags >trebuchet rigs in backyard, able to hurl Cadillacs a block or more >movie theater, on-site film production teams, CGI crew, scriptwriters Throw in the moats, the turrets, the parapet, the curtain walls and the paintball miniguns, and I shall have my ultimate retirement home.