Marines Malevolent
 This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess. |
| Asshole Marines | ||
|---|---|---|
 |
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| Founding | Fourth or Eighth Founding | |
| Successors of | Possibly the World Eaters | |
| Successor Chapters | None | |
| Chapter Master | Unknown, maybe Assholetep | |
| Primarch | ||
| Homeworld | No idea, possibly Douchebag land | |
| Strength | Unknown, possibly declining (Thank God!) | |
| Specialty | Being absolute assholes, dickwards and douchebags, pissing off the Salamanders | |
| Allegiance | Imperium | |
| Colours | Piss Yellow and Black | |
The Marines Malevolent are a Space Marine Chapter in Warhammer 40,000. They have only two real defining characteristics: they are complete assholes, and they hate (and are hated by) the Salamanders, which is probably related to the first point. It may also be related to their unique approach to hostage situations (hint: it involves Whirlwinds). They're such super massive assholes that, if their douchebaggery was a real and actual thing, it would collapse into a black hole and suck in the entire universe. Imagine Angry Marines but with all the anger and rage replaced with passive-aggressiveness and complete dickishness. They're pretty much the poster boys of everything bad about the Imperium rolled into one collection of chucklefucks.
They got a shortage of power armour (pissing off the Adeptus Mechanicus tend to have that effect), so they use whatever parts of power armour they can find. In the novel Salamander by Nick Kyme they even steal some from an abandoned Adeptus Mechanicus forge ship. They even blackmailed a First Founding Chapter Master to the point that he had to physically restrain himself from smacking the fuck out of the Malevolent representative. When the two met again at the end of the Third Armageddon campaign, said Chapter Master openly insulted the Malevolent Captain (after he beat the ever-living the fuck out of him in private) in front of the entire army, causing much sniggering amongst the nearer Guardsmen and earning the Chapter master (Tu'Shan) the title Hero of Armageddon.
Well OK, he got it for kicking Thraka's ass, but who cares.
Hence /tg/and GW writers regarding them as the worst chapter. Most chapters regard casualties, particularly those of the collateral nature, to be unfortunate but largely unavoidable. Yes, many civilians and Imperial Guardsmen died during the orks' assault on the hive, but had we not fought the xenos there many more would be dead.
A few Chapters (such as the Salamanders and the Space Wolves) go out of their way to minimalize casualties. Battle brothers, we few are all that stand between the heretics and the refugee camp behind us. The PDF and the Guard have not the men to spare to protect this place as they withdraw themselves. But curses upon ourselves and our Chapter if we allow that degenerate rabble to harm the Emperor's faithful!
But then there are the Marines Malevolent; their attitude is that the dead are worthy of contempt for they were too weak to live and if the wounded suffer then it is likewise because they are wretchedly weak. Help, Guardsman? No, you will only have my scorn.
In short in a galaxy of horror and tragedy, most suffer jadedly, a few grieve but only the Marines Malevolent jeer.... well, and the old Iron Hands, but that's basically retconned now.
Other forces in the Warhammer 40K universe may be EEEEEEVIL!!! on some sort of grand cosmic scale of grimdark, but very few are just nasty and petty and cruel in an all-too human way. They treat their Chapter Serfs like actual serfs/slaves for Emprah's sake! (for those not in the know, this is otherwise unheard of) Hell, they probably even use them as ablative vehicle armor. That's not grimdark, M&Ms, that's just... unpleasant.
They have only a few named characters, and only a few are alive at the time of the 'present day' in 40K. The only Malevolent known to be alive at the time of Medusa was Vinyar, a Company Captain with a raging grudge against Tu'Shan. They had no fewer than thirty three of their men (including a Veteran Sergeant, two Techmarines, a pilot, and a fucking APOTHECARY) get infected by the Obliterator Virus while they were boarding the ship Demetrion, so Vinyar basically told them to go hit themselves with Tu'Shan's Thunder Hammer until they were purified. We are not kidding.
We mean the literal Thunder Hammer you filthy perverts.
Gallery
A squad of Malevolents, have the color of PISS yellow, suits them, they are pieces of shit after all.
YELLOW METAL BOXES! Carron would be pissed.
Brother-Captain Assneus Dickeos.
Salamanders
weep bitter tearssigh and prepare to backhand some edgy yellow assholes around when the Marines Malevolent arrive.
