Adeptus Custardians

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The Face of Death, but who are we kidding, ever heard of Pop Team Epic?

"Fine, I'll start my own comic, with Sisters of Silence and no, brown, naked Custodians."
"Kitty, or this so called Custodian from TTS, doesn't exist here, we have a Carl though."

Dave the Skull Servitor

What Is It?[edit]

If Alfabusa was lazy and decided to abandon his YouTube fame for the nothing but the adoration and attention of his fans, this Facebook Page may well be made by the man himself. But that's not the case, the Facebook Page resembles a pre-teen trying their best to draw artwork of the Custodians and their daily lives in the Palace of the Emperor of Mankind. There also, albeit rare appearances, of the Sisters of Silence themselves in various situations that are either humorous, or risque; depending on your skin thickness and tolerance for such things. The format is simple, drawn in black-and-white most of the time and some instances of colored work as seen in this one pseudo-animation the page had shared.

The main difference between this pages' delivery of the lore, and Alfabusa's TTS-verse is the lack of Naked, Brown, Oily Custodians. Coupled with the very blatant fact that the Emperor himself, is an actual, breathing, beat-stick-of-doom that is fucking capable of obliterating an entire planet out of spite. Non-cannon in its purest form, the source material is warped accordingly to the request of the citizens (people who follow the page) and then drawn in such fashion as stated previously. Also the antics in which the characters are portrayed are rather heretical at best and would probably turn any loyalist into a bubbling mess once they witness such insanity. There still lies a disturbing fact that Chaos Marines exist and yet the Emperor still lives, when he should be a vegetable, rotting on a golden and ornate, life-support enhanced, Lazyboy.

Felinids also exist in this setting or this so called "insert-name-verse" since there's a different version of them that exist, and much, much more horrifying to look at. The problem with this version of the Felinids is that they are drawn as obese, balls of furry, and can be easily mistaken for a walking pillow with all that fur around them. Heck, they actually resemble these guys in an MMO game; which can only be wagered to be true. They also seem to have a particular knack of scaring the shit out of Chaos Marines as they couldn't accept the fact that such vile abominations exist, and they'd rather die than live with these furries around. The artist had taken such an interest in them and sadly, his followers, to the point he had a miniature made out of this character named Fermin. If you think or even fantasize Felinids as femme fatales, disgustingly furry, and ready to suck that Staff of Office of yours? You'd be dead wrong in this one.

Characters[edit]

Amusingly, there are characters that were created along the lifespan of the page. Several are recurring characters and the rest are rather forgotten or not as popular among the followers, for example, that Telemon Dreadnought in one comic that was uploaded, was only seen once among the myriad of characters that were revealed. Some of their names are even in Arabic. The characters vary from Custodians, the Sisters of Silence, and the Imperial Guard. The three being the prominent ones to be shown in the comics, but there were also Techpriests and a Sister of Battle on one occasion. So below is a list of the mentioned and illustrated characters, a word of caution, try not to build a complex background story unless you want to go mentally insane with the inadequate backstory these characters have.

  • Adeptus Custodians
From right to left: Carl and a Space Corgi.
  • Constantin Valdor: The Right Hand of The King, or whatever fancy title this guy had, along with the millions he already had etched on his breastplate. The comic series portrays him as that one guy who doesn't wear his helmet. Constantin is stern, with his eyes bulging out of his own skull for some weird reason as the artist had portrayed him as such; he did let off one of the Custodians after finding that said Custodian flirting with its prey. So he isn't such a big, cock-block after all.
  • Ramadi: Older Brother Figure, is proper, and prefers to be diplomatic at all times. Except when he needs to punch someone in the face to make a point. Also is the boyfriend of Allaena, a Sister of Silence.
  • Nunez: The only guy wearing a Custodian Aquilon Armor and is forced to do chores while in it. Tedious chores such as escort the payload, capture the point, and destroy the enemy team by giving them a good fisting with his Solarite Gauntlet.
  • Carl: Take Deadpool, tone his jokes down to the point you don't recognize him with his old avocado face, give him a Custodian armor, profit. The butt of jokes, Custodians are bothered in how this guy ended up in the roster and why the Big E decided some douche-bag to even breath. It would be far-fetched to claim that this fellow is the most popular in the page, because a Felinid somehow managed to win favor from followers in the Philippines.
  • Sisters of Silence
  • Allaena: Silent, speaks through Thoughtmark and would stare at your soul, angrily, to silently exert her right of privacy; as she suffers through a particularly bad day of menstrual cramps.
  • Imperial Guard
  • Commissar Fermin: A Felinid Commissar, who offhandedly shot a commissar during his guardsman days, in the ass, to not kill him outright as he was deserting; turns out cowards still die anyway so he should have shot him right in the head.