Battle for Dominus Pillowus
|This article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, Matt Ward creating (against all odds) a codex that isn't completely broken on every level. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.|
On a backwater Imperial planet. a Guardsman buys a Saint Celestine body pillow from a passing Rogue Trader. Fearing reprise from an angry Commissar, he tattles on the Commissar's xenofucking habits to a Priest. Said priest turns out to be an undercover Inquisitor investigating Commissar Xenofucker. The Inquisitor begins a sting operation and the local Regiment splits between the loyalists and the Taufuckers. And then, well...
...shit hits the fan hard.
The saddest part is, the shenanigans aren't really all that hard to believe even by 40K standards.
- 1 Characters
- 1.1 Imperial Forces
- 1.2 Xenos
- 1.3 Chaos Forces
- 2 Reactions to the Battle for Dominus Pillowus
- 3 The Holy Pillow Wars
- 4 See Also
- 5 Gallery
- 6 The Manga
- 7 The Anime Adaptation
This section includes all characters involved in this glorious clusterfuck.
- Commissar Xenofucker: Heretical xenofucker lusting after some Tau Goods. After he’s caught red-handed by the Xeno-hunting Inquisitor, he defects to the Tau with half the Regiment. While in combat against Imperial forces led by the Waifu Commander, he cums on top of the bodypillow, leading to his ascension to Daemon Prince of Slaanesh, and conversion of the whole planet into a Daemon World (until it's purged of it's taint by the Imperium). What’s even funnier is that he’s not even a Slaaneshi worshipper, he just wanted a quick wank but didn't hear the annoucement made by the Chaos Lord that promised ascension to daemonhood for the first person able to climax on top of the Body Pillow. Later had a moment of clarity and saved everyone's asses.
- Craig the Guardsman: A poor sod whose rare lasgun got stolen and sold to a rogue trader. Also got his helmet traded for a box of fruit by another guardsman named Russel. Executed for incompetence by Commissar Xenofucker.
- Saint Waifu Commander: Veteran Officer guardsman who served a month prior to the events that took place. Ascended to sainthood after successfully safeguarding the Holy Body Pillow of Celestine despite all odds and nearly getting BLAMMED by the Commissar Xenofucker. No one really remembers his name as Imperial forces just called him "the Waifu Commander" during the conflict. Has a crush on Celestine (not to be confused with Celestein). When Celestine leaves him for another’s battlefield, he becomes deeply depressed, turning into a shut-in.
- Sanctioned Psyker: Almost raped by a Daemonette. Currently
failling horriblytrying to refuse her advances whenever he dreams. Best friends with the Guardsman who was almostraped by an Eldar. Lost an eye channeling Warp energies in a (failed) attempt to ward off aforementioned Rapeseer.
- After a bout of depression (because he failed to protect his buddy) he (very) begrudgingly agreed to not murder the rapeseer and let his bro get married, but only after a huge argument, a fist fight, and a shared crate of Lho sticks and alcohol (wherein manly tears and hugs were had in a totally non-homo way). The guy got his hand replaced with an augmetic but left his eyesocket empty after learning how to shoot warp bolts out of it for the intimidation factor. His blood is 50% recaf as he tries to spend as little time possible sleeping to avoid his new stalker in the Warp, often coming out of the exhaustion-induced comas he falls into (when the recaff can no longer sustain him) with a stream of profanities worthy of an Angry Marine and the occasional warp bolt. He still serves in the Guard and has picked up the moniker "Sparky" for his preferred combat method. He got this nickname from some of the other friends he managed to make after guardsbro helped to dial back his autism.
- Unnamed Guardsman: Almost raped by the Rapeseer, until she did rape him. Now they're married. Is friends with the sanctioned psyker, who tried to protect him from the Eldar (but failed). Became best bros with the Psyker when he saved his ass multiple times.
- Marcus: Good friend of WaifuCommander, is in the same training group as WaifuCommander and followed him before his ascension. Has a knack of attaching things to make "weapons" (e.g. affixing bayonets to bodypillows). Unfortunately died, but is now canonically next to the Emprah (as all humans should be), so all is good.
- Assortment of Kriegers: Capable of affixing bayonets at speeds high enough to break the sound barrier. Have an obsession with atoning and view not dying in battle as the worst possible outcome.
- Random Harmonica Guardsman: Former roommate of Saint Waifu Commnder. Blessed with a beautiful voice. Made an entire CRAFTWORLD cry. Yes, a craftworld as in the ship itself. Yes, the entire Craftworld also happened to be a Daemon Engine.
- Lord Solar Macharius: Imperial Warp entity in the shape of an Eagle, used to be Lord Solar Macharius. Gets his kicks by screeching "keikaku doori!" (TL note: keikaku means plan) at passing Imperial Navy ships and pretending to be a Greater Daemon of Tzeentch. Responsible for WaifuCommander's ascension to sainthood. Is now crusading with other Imperial Warp entities.
- Dark Angels Chapter:
-Apothecary Penicillus of the Deathwing: Is friends with unnamed Ultramarine, whom he assisted in combat. Was on Dark Angel's vessel when it was rammed by Wuldkrumpa Freeboota hulk and decided to go on a Suicide Crusade inside it. Notably proficient in close-quarters-combat, as can be seen when he blended up so many orks that his armour was like that of a Blood Angel. Surprisingly magpie-like as he stole Ork Freddie Mercury's music tracks in STC form from the Space Hulk. Both escaped from the Space Hulk using a Drop Pod. Is currently with the Ultramarines and making his way back to Dark Angel territory. Enjoys listening to Queen.
-Interrogator Chaplain of the Deathwing: Mistook Celestein for Celestine. You can guess what happened next.
- Unnamed Ultramarine: Friends with Penicillus. Surprisingly un-smurflike, as he’s able to deviate from the Codex reasonably, rather than because all 'cool' marines do it. Blames someone named 'Brother Vader' for all his problems.
- Minotaurs Chapter: Same teamkilling fucktards as always. Ordered by the High Lords to retrieve the holy artifact located on the planet.
- Blood Ravens Chapter: Arrived because of holy relics on the planet, ordered to 'secure' relics for the Chapter.
- The Deathwatch: Came equipped to deal with necrons, ended up facing OrkNids. Also ended up having to deal with daemons on the Craftworld. The results weren't pretty.
- Imperial Fists Chapter:
-Lieutenant Augustus: Interrupted battle between Blood Ravens and Minotaurs by shouting "who was the heretic who started this". Unfortunately, he was mistaken for a Salamander. Managed to get Minotaurs and Blood Ravens to cooperate (for the time being).
- Space Wolves Chapter: Heard the Inquisition was teamkilling Imperial Guard again. Bjorn was awakened; after hearing the situation, he silently turned and plodded back to his cryotube, pausing only to pound every living thing that crossed his path into a bloody pulp.
Sisters of Battle
- Living Saint Celestein: Not to be confused with Saint Celestine. Is jealous of Celestine and is triggered when someone accidentally confuses her with Celestine. Which is unfortunately all the time. Takes great pride in her hair and appearance, which she considers to be awesome.
- Living Saint Celestine: Not to be confused with Saint Celestein. Is a tsundere for Saint WaifuCommander, and will occasionally smile when he purges OrkNids, and on one occasion even made him lunch. Almost kissed WaifuCommander, but at that instant was summoned to another battlefield. Promised to meet WaifuCommander again.
- Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil: Canoness of the entire sororitas order dropped onto the planet. Hot headed and extremely faithful. Has blonde hair and a bionic eye. Can drink Space Wolves under the table.
- Sister Lydia: Rhino Driver, reads PlayEmperor magazines in her downtime. Good friends with Canoness Olivia. Eventually, she gets her job as the Canoness' Designated Driver.
- Sister Rualian: Animal-loving Hospitaler, somewhat airheaded, Considered weird by the other sisters in her order for liking animals. Tended to Rapeseer's wounds and now works under a Magos Biologis. Last seen playing with Sea Slugs after voxing the Canoness to be mindful in preserving the local wildlife for "Research Purposes".
- Enginseer Mike L33: Used an Basilisk on Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker. Dragged thousands of Eldar souls out from the Warp using the hook on the back of the aforementioned Basilisk, cucking Slaanesh by freeing thousands of Eldar souls. However, he has been cursed to start his sentences with words beginning with 'S' only. By his own request, he is still attached to the Imperial Guard and he considers life to be good.
- Magos Xenobiologis: Realised entire biosphere of planet was in fact devolved Tyranids. Now studying Orknids.
- Dominus Exitium: Imperator-Class Battle Titan responsible for the recovery of the Æonic Orb. Got smacked about by Orknids, but survived the battle.
- Archmagos Magnificus Apparatos: Responsible for the deployment of Titan legions on the planet as a means to both capture the Orb and to avoid an Exterminatus on the planet, which would destroy said Orb. Upon the recovery of the Orb, his cyberdong reached unlimited hardness comparable to ship-grade adamantium.
- Unnamed Knight House: Came to Antioch XLII to capture Celestine bodypillow for himself. Ended up getting his Knight blown up. Last seen hiding in his pod in rape-forest, with his serfs having crashed his ship into the planet for revenge for his (believed) death.
- Xeno Hunting Inquisitor: Puked in the back of a Rhino, responsible for outing the heretical commissar. Develops a drinking habit trying to cope with the clusterfuck he know has to deal with. Successfully purged Xenos, and for a brief moment, had possession of the holy waifu pillow, so he feels pretty great about himself.
- Ordo Malleus Inquisitor: Showed up late to the party, and when he found out about the Tau-Slaanesh-Daemon Engine-Craftworld, he left for the nearest Imperial Port to get drunk.
- Rogue 'Pillow' Trader: Sold a Celestine Bodypillow to WaifuCommander for Craig's lasgun, and sold a crate of fruit to Russel for Craig's helmet. When he found out shit had hit the fan hard, he sought to be rid of the rest of the bodypillows. He surreptitiously loaded them into a Munitorium ship (destined to arrive at Cadia) at an Imperial Port so as to not be associated with whatever the fuck had gone down at Antioch XLII. Little does he know that those bodypillows would be quickly corrupted by Slaanesh and become highly popular with Chaotic nerds. Later would wind up arriving near Antioch XLII again due to warp shenanigans and proceeded to hide behind a moon until the shitstorm calmed down.
- Rear Admiral Dongface: A rear admiral with a surprisingly large fleet of warships (up to and including battleships), his fleet came to the rescue of the planet before being promptly fucked over by the birth of the Daemon Craftworld. Some of his ships survived entry (including the Dauntless Endurance), whom he ordered to engage the enemy, before failing to command properly in the same way you would expect from a backwater rear admiral in the Imperial Navy. Presumably has a Phallic face, and behaves like an actual dickhead. Is hated by most of the crew under his command.
- Captain Valthuvias of the Dauntless Endurance: The Captain of the Dauntless Endurance, a Cobra-class destroyer which was royally fucked over, as it was ordered into fighting a daemon Craftworld at close range before being caught up in its murder orgy with the Tyranid Hive Fleet. Valthuvias self-castrated (and ordered his crew to do the same) after being exposed to Slaaneshi influence, and then fought a desperate battle to try and save his ship. He ended up getting cut in half for his trouble and died self-destructing the ship after the Daemon Craftworld ate it whole, killing the Craftworld in the process. Turned into an Imperial Warp entity by Solar Macharius, and is off with him to the war on Armageddon. It isn't clear if he ever got his legs back, but he did shit his pants somehow when he thought Macharius was a greater demon of Tzeentch.
- Thirsty Farseer: Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthrates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away. Until she did rape him (he liked it). Now they are married.
- Silver-Iscariot Eldar: Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces (probably because her craftworld was fucking obliterated and serving the EMPRAH is better than serving anybody). Was a titan at two points in time.
- Dark Eldar: Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.
Tyranids? Orks? Orkanids!?
- Freeboota Kaptin Snikstabba 'F. Merkury' Goldteef: Ork Kaptin of the massive Freeboota spacehulk called Wuldkrumpa. Entered the battle after he brought the space hulk out of the Warp to go "bug huntin" and noticed the, quote, "GORK-ZOGGING YUGE BATTLE" and launched his boyz (along with a bunch of 'WAAAGH-crazed' genestealers) down to the planet. Has a massive collection of ancient terran music in STC-format that can be blasted so loud it can be heard through space. Uses a kustom "noize kannon" that's hooked up to the hulk's music system. Looks like a giant green version of Freddie Mercury.
- Freeboota Gitsmacka: Self-described "jeanstealer krumpin' spessulist". Only Freeboota contacted by Planetary Hivemind through a couple of possessed genestealers. Kills first one out of reflex, and in the second one, he misunderstands the explanation about Norn-Queen to be instead a discussion about the band Queen before killing said second genestealer. Proceeds to spend the rest of his time planetside in the boardin' rokkit-turned-rokkit-trukk he came down in attacking/generally tormenting Necrons, particularly Necron Lord I.
- Freeboota Flyboy Wazrukk: Boardin' Rokkit flyboy "Extraordinaire". Pilot/Driver of Ork Boardin' Rokkit/Rokkit-Trukk.
- Freeboota 'Mad' Mekboy Razzafing: The Mekboy responsible for turning the Boardin' Rokkit(s) into a (occasionally supersonic) "Rokkit-Trukk".
- Dok Guzzgut: Mad Ork responsible for OrkNids, made enough of them to affect the hivemind with the WAAAGH field. Was a tank once, then a Dominatrix. Is currently busy floating through space in the hivemind.
- Hivefleet: The Hivefleet came in to harvest the biomass of the planet but confused on what it's goals were due to the Ork-nids and the taint of the warp. Eventually it decided to make the biggest WAAAAGH ever.
- Planetary Hivemind: The Planetary Hivemind consisted of devolved tyranids that made up all the vegetation and wildlife on the planet. Is awakened by the arrival of Hive Fleet Leviathan, but gets confused as to what its mission is due to the powerful psychic presence of the daemon-craftworld and the large numbers of Orknids. Attempts to adapt to all three until the Orknids are the only ones remaining, turning into the Norn Queen of the Eternal WAAAAAAAAAGH!
- Rapevines: Vines that were at first a defense mechanism used by the "Forest" to repel Necrons cutting their way through via restrainment. But then some Slaaneshi Flayed Ones start using them in ways similar to hentai, this then corrupts the vines with Slaaneshi warp fuckery and causes them to yearn for the penetration of those who come across it.
- The "Forest:" Is really just devolved Tyranids, which local Imperials (and Necrons) found out just a little too late. After the departure of the Norn Queen, the Forest is the only remaining Tyranid presence, and now just exists to attack colonists while screaming WAAAAAAAGH! At them. Also called the "Rape Forrest" by the Necrons who were unfortunate enough to find it
- Orknid hybrids: Exactly as horrifying as you’d think they are, made worse by the fact that some are corrupted by Slaanesh. Responsible for the fact that the wildlife of the planet only screams. They are differentiated by colour: red ones go fast, yellow are dakka, purples are sneaky, pink ones like to murderrape and black ones are masochistic in the extreme (likes to be hit, BDSM etc, does not fight back).
- Trazyn the Infinite: Trazyn made an attempt to get this body pillow for his collection but was unable to. No one is quite sure what he did after failing to retrieve the body pillow, some theorize he later tried to get his hands on the stolen STC's of Queen music. And others theorized he took some specimens of the screaming trees and other forms of Ork-Nid plantoid life forms for his collection instead.
- Necron Lord I: Notable victim of the Rape-Vines. Terribly traumatised by the experience. Then had his shiny metal ass shot off by Wazrukk because his ass was scratching the Rokkit-trukk's windshield. He has given up on getting that pillow. Promoted a Necron Warrior to Lord for hauling him back to base for repairs. That new Lord is Necron Lord II.
- Necron Lord II: Originally a Necron Warrior, got mistaken for a Lord by a group of Flayed Ones after being horribly dismembered. Extremely pleased with his current position and equipment. Wants the pillow so he can sleep.
- Unnamed Destroyer Lord: An old sleepy bugger. Woke up due to the fighting on the surface, and decided to just release all monoliths he had in hand, along with some megaliths and even an Æonic Orb. Has a massive love for Necron Scarabs and sleeps on a blanket comprised fully of them.
- Æonic Orb: Originally forgotten by even the Necrons themselves, became one of the central players in this clusterfuck. Currently under research by the Mechanicum.
- Flayed Ones: The Flayed Ones were driven further into madness by their curse (and probably the body pillow they were told to get) as they started to make body pillows out of the bodies of their foes. Eventually, the curse started to spread from Necron to Necron, even infecting the Spyders and Scarabs. Later on, some Flayed Ones became corrupted by the forces of Chaos by turning to either Nurgle or Slaanesh, the ones who followed Nurgle simply hung out with the Nurglings while those of Slaanesh started using the Rape Vines for sexual pleasure and probably robot-fucked each other as well. After a while, the Necron Lord ordered for all the Flayed Ones to be killed. Those who were not killed either escaped into the rape forest or the warp.
- Ethereal: Ended up becoming a Commissar-like figure for defecting Guard troops, behaving in ways such as BLAMMING anyone who dared to call her Commissar. Gained Imperial habit of over-reinforcing planets.
- Tau Diplothot: Used to be the one who seduced Commsar Xenofucker. Ended up being corrupted by Slaanesh, and thought it might be a nice idea to fuck a Krieger. Instead she disguised herself as one, made one of them fall in love with her and was murderraped by a Tyranid while he was made to watch. Is very happy about that.
- Slaneshtau Leader Por'o: Originally a Water caste diplomat tasked with the mission of turning the planet to the Greater Good by using her army of Diplothots to seduce key individuals. Also ended up becoming corrupted by Slaanesh after trying to pick up diplomatic relations with a cult, although with much direr results. Was not to last, and shortly lost daemonhood by turning into the Craftworld. After the Eldar ship was destroyed, tried to possess the pillow but got kicked out by Saint Celestine(Stein), but not before engaging in a hours long Slaanesh-type wrestling match on the surface of the pillow. Currently a Daemonette after she convinced Commisar Xenofucker that she was his T'au waifu. He "saved" her soul from being purged by the saints she became a Daemonette. Now working her way back up Slaanesh's ranks.
- Fallen Angel: Teamed up with a Thousand Sons sorcerer to use the daemon-Craftworld clusterfuck to build daemon engine wraithlords. Decided to bug the fuck out when he come in contact with the holy Bodypillow that attempted to make him loyalist.
- Daemonette: Developed a hug fetish. Has a crush on Psykerbro. Keeps chatting with him through dreams. Is now friends with the former Por'o.
- Chaos Lord Vögeln: Chaos Lord of the "Alluring Ostriches" warband. Failed in his mission by Slaanesh him/her/itself to cum on the Celestine Bodypillow, and was turned into Chaos Spawn for his failure. Wait no-AAASJEHDUBEUJSIJSJ
- Typhus: Called by Nurgle to try and capture the bodypillow in order to make Isha happy. Seeing the clusterfuck, he decides 'fuck this' and only participates in minor skirmishes in order to appear as if he's trying.
- Plague Marines: Same as Typhus.
- Nurglings: Probably one of the few "people" having fun in this mess, mainly by goofing around and trying to help (read: annoy) everyone nearby.
- Berzerkers: Came to the battlefield just for the sake of fighting. Tried to reclaim the Pillow as an artifact for Khorne after it was outfitted with bayonets and used to murder an expecially giant ork. Got distracted by the arrival of the Slaaneshi Warband, and proceeded to completely anihhilate their plans by trapping them in the ensuing melee
- Sorcerer Ceicacu Toori: Apparently planned the whole damn thing as a joke, and broke two ribs laughing when he found out things had gone to plan.
Reactions to the Battle for Dominus Pillowus
What people think of the clusterfuck.
Imperium of Man
- Emperor of Mankind: Feels great that he got a new saint...even if he ascended because of a bodypillow. Made fun of Tzeentch by thanking him for the new Shrine World.
- Roboute Guilliman: Despite his Superior Primarch Processeing Power, he cannot comprehend how the fuck a situation as retarded as this came to be.
- Random Administratum Clerk: Screencapped everything.
- 170-years-old Ecclesiarchy Priest: Was originally ecstatic that three, THREE FUCKING SAINTS had manifested, mistakenly believing that Antioch XLII must be a Paradise World. When he got there, however, the Daemon Engine Craftworld Moon, screaming forests of orknids, a fucking dominatrix-tank hybrid gives him a heart attack. It gets worse when he’s told the planet used to be a Daemon World. Only then does he realise why the fuck 3 saints had to take care of the situation. Gives up his position when he’s told one of the Saints ascended because of a fucking bodypillow to restart as an acolyte.
- Tzeentch: Claimed this whole clusterfuck fiasco was his doing at first, but at the end, he regretted that claim once it actually became a fiasco and the planet was now a death/shrine world. Everyone is now calling him a Traitor and suspecting him of becoming a Loyalist.
- Slaanesh: Really happy that he/she/it got the spotlight, and in his/her/it’s own words, “Hadn’t cum so much in years." Disappointed that he/she/it got cockblocked twice by mortals denying them Eldar souls, though.
- Khorne: As usual, he is pissed as fuck because there’s now another GODDAMN SHRINE WORLD, FUCK, but happy that blood flowed a lot from this battle. Still pissed at Tzeentch (who is blamed for this shit) and at Slaanesh (who took up the focus of the Battle).
- Nurgle: Pretty bummed that he wasn't able to get that body pillow for Isha, is also mad at Tzeentch for his dumb plans. But he is happy that his new disease is spreading and putting Eldar in the mood to breed on that planet.
- Gork...Or was it Mork?: Saw some tinboy bits, orky trees, orky bugs, orky bug tanks, some proppa weird pointy eared ship bits and thinks a proper foight happened on dis zoggin' WAAAAGH planet, found out the blue bird was responsible. He’s gotta keep an eye on it, the world could be used for a proppa WAAAAAAAAGGGGHH.
The Holy Pillow Wars
On the Imperial Agri-World of Antioch XLII, while a lone guardsman tries to trade some unfortunate sod's rare lasgun for a limited edition real body-hair Saint Celestine bodypillow (he suceeds), the commissar of the regiment tries to turn the regiment over to the Tau, after being given the taste of a Water Caste diplomat's "Greater Goods". After Xenofucker was found out by an inquisitor LARPing as a priest (with henchmen acting as guardsmen in the Regiment), Xenofucker calls support from his Tau allies, hoping to elliminate any of those still loyal to the Emperor. Unfortunately for Commissar Xenofucker, his Tau buddies soon become corrupted by Chaos after trying to incorporate the concept of the Greater Good into the local Slaaneshi cult's religion. Hilarity Ensues. Now that he is trapped in a three-way civil war between the loyalist Guardsmen, Chaos, and the remaining not murder-rape happy Tau and Gue’la, Saint WaifuCommander realises his nickname by rallying the local Imperial forces in a desperate bid to protect his Body Pillow. It works.
To add to the clusterfuck, Antioch XLII reveals it's true nature as a Necron tomb world, as all the fighting on the surface manages to wake up the local Necrons. While all this is happening, some Eldar hear a rumor that Mon'Keigh males have bigger genitals, which cause great turmoil. This happens because the Craftworld was infected with a Nurglite disease that gives Eldar an extreme urge to reproduce, as Nurgle was hoping to make Isha happy by increasing the Eldar's birth rate. This causes the craftworld to arrive in the sector hoping to acquire some sweet mon'keigh penises for themselves. As if to add promethium to the burning stake, a Genestealer-infected Craftworld arrives so the first one can hopefully help them out (sadly they are being chased by a hivefleet). Meanwhile, some Orks hear about a massive scrap happening on a 'umie world, and decide to take a look. Realizing the growing scale of this fuckfest, some reasonable sod contacts the Deathwatch currently on the planet to sort this shit out. The Deathwatch ascertain that out of the xenos currently on the field, the Necrons and Tau are the primary threat and proceed to carry mainly anti-armor equipment. Not like this would bite them in the ass afterwards...
It is about at this time that the first Tyranid forces from the Hivefleet chasing the Genestealer-infested Craftworld started arriving in the system, this fucking up Warp travel. The tyranid forces then proceed to try and NOM'NOM everything in sight, which causes them to end up fighting Orks. After one of his boyz got beheaded, Mad Dok Guzzgut gets an idea, and proceeds to attach the still screaming head of the poor git onto a nearby tyranid corpse, that then proceeds to charge everything that doesn't look like a Nid or an Ork. Unfortunately for the others involved, the sick fuck get's a taste for this kind of surgery, and proceeds to create some sort of horrifying factory where he and some trained boyz capture and fuse nearby ork and tyranid groups into horrifying abominations that would make a Haemonculi proud.
The Chaos Tau on the craftworld end up darkening the entire dammed thing before turning the craftworld into the flying Daemon Craftworld, which ends up in combat against a Hivefleet. The sight roughly resembles an orgy. Around this time some Dark Eldar fly into orbit and start fapping over the degenerate vorefest between the hivefleet and the Daemon Craftworld.
Somewhere in this clusterfuck a sanctioned psyker rescues a guardsman from thirsty rapeseer.
Commander WaifuCommander ordered Deathstrike Missiles to be fired upon the Daemon Engine Craftworld. The Endurance Dauntless detonates its Warp Drives in the Craftworld as it’s sucked in. This blows up the Daemon Engine Craftworld, resulting in a Craftworld only infested with Daemons (rather than completely consumed by them).
Xenofucker tries to BLAM WaifuCommander, who protects the pillow with his life. For this, Macharius ascends him to sainthood for shits and giggles. Now he is SAINT WaifuCommander. However, commissar Xenofucker manages to cum into the pillow, resulting in his ascension to Daemonhood. Antioch XLII becomes a Daemon World. Celestine, Celestein and WaifuCommander chase him into the core of the planet where an Aeonic Orb sits. Predictably it explodes, killing only the daemons and most of the xenos.
Saint Waifufag and the Imperial Forces, along with the splitered Eldar get teleported to the nearby moon of Uxor II due to a moment of clarity from Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker. Saint Waifufag ends up rallying the Imperial Forces and Eldar and build up the planet as a Death-Shrineworld.
There are some minor skirmishes on the planet between two Necron Lords, some orks, the Xeno Hunting Inquisitor, Saint Celestein and some of the Sororitas present on the planet, this soon leads to the Necron Catacombs being annihilated by an Ork Rokkit-Trukk.
Penicillus and the unnamed Ultramarine rob an Ork Freeboota Kaptin of his Queen music just as the space hulk warps away.
Stercus Ludicrum: An similar case of massive clusterfuck in 42nd Millenium.
No god managed a proper reaction. Except the Tyranid Hivemind, as it has developed some new interests.
Even the great Spiritual Liege has no idea on how to react to this mess
- Part 1:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/60632606/
- Part 2:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/60654601/
- Part 3:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/60670645/
- Art- + Writefaggotry:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/60686852/
- Discord link:https://discord.gg/QrutbRd