Bloody Path

From 1d4chan
AwesomeWTF.gifThis article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, or Wizards of the Coast hiring the fucking Pinkertons over a children’s card game. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.
This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.
Bloody Path in all of its glory
Although not specifically mentioned in the description, the ability also causes RAGE in all creatures with the Neckbeard subtype.

Bloody Path, or as it is popularly known, DURR... CLANG! is a 15th level Rogue power in 4e Dungeons & Dragons. It has drawn a lot of criticism because of the odd way the mechanic works and the very undescriptive fluff, making it extremely unclear how exactly the character is meant to be causing the effects described by the ability. The power effectively forces every enemy the rogue runs past during his movement to make a basic melee attack against itself.

Ignoring situations where this is physically impossible (such as a triceratops impaling itself), many argue that the targets of the ability are in fact attempting to attack the rogue, but the rogue is cunningly parrying and otherwise redirecting their attacks as he travels so they instead strike themselves. Others argue that this makes just as little sense as the original fluff, since enemies with better attack bonuses (who could hence be assumed to be more skilled in combat) are actually more likely to hit themselves. It also raises the question as to how exactly a human-sized (or even smaller) character is capable of parrying or redirecting the attacks of creatures much larger than they are, such as adult dragons. A more realistic interpretation is that the Rogue draws the monster into a Looney Toons gag.

It's supposed to be the Rogue rushing into a group dodging their attacks in a way for the group members to attack each other. Except even that doesn't work because it doesn't make sense for people who are being hit by allies are, in fact, being hit by their own weapons, and that makes even less sense if there's only one person. And on top of all that, the opponents are forced to make the opportunity attack if they would hold back to avoid hurting themselves, meaning any enemy wishing to hold his OA for any other reason (say, "make an attack against a different foe later the same round") is a probably a clever munchkin (or a munchkin that co-opted the loophole from somewhere else, like here). This also clears the threatened area for any allies wishing to follow the rogue on the same round. In 4e you receive one opportunity attack per turn, not one opportunity attack per round.

Judging by how the mechanic actually works, the only "logical" explanation is that the rogue is suddenly manifesting short range mind control powers and forcing every enemy he runs past to spontaneously turn stupid and then attempt to stab themselves, hence: "DURR... CLANG!"

A proposed alteration to make the ability make slightly more sense is to negate the opportunity attack of the targets and allow the rogue to make his own attack as he passes.

In the spirit of autism, here's a list of 4E monster attacks that make little to no sense with Bloody Path:

  • Any basic attack that 'marks' the target
  • Any creature which relies on ranged attacks. A humanoid using a sling is forced to punch themselves?
  • Abomination - Atropal: Necrotizing Touch; makes itself double-undead?
  • Abomination - Phane: Temporal Touch; it's already out-of-phase with time, and it somehow teleports itself away from itself?
  • Bat - Fire Bat: Fiery Touch; a fire elemental burning itself?
  • Beetle - any: Bite; a beetle that folds its own carapace?
  • Beholder - any: Bite; how can a beach-ball fold around itself without collapsing?
  • Boar - any: Gore; a boar that gets in front of itself?
  • Crocodile - any: Bite; aren't their jaws like a third of their entire length?
  • Dragon - Blue Dragon: Gore; would take some serious yoga, or maybe a broken spine?
  • Drake - Spiretop Drake: Snatch; it steals an item from itself?
  • Elemental - Firelasher: Fire Lash; how can fire burn itself?
  • Elemental - Thunderblast Cyclone: Lightning Arc; how can lightning do damage by not discharging?
  • Flameskull - any: Firey Bite; can you nibble on your own ear without ripping off your own jaw?
  • Ghost - any: Grave/Spirit Touch; do you lose 1/7th of your health from facepalming?
  • Gorgon - any: Gore: how does an armored stone-bull get in front of itself?
  • Horse - any: Kick: like Gore, but this time how does a Horse get behind itself?
  • Lamia - Cursed Touch: it drains health from itself to gain its own health?
  • Larva Mage - Corrupting Touch: how can you rot what is already rotten?
  • Lich - Lich Vestige: Death's Touch: makes itself double-dead?
  • Nightmare - Hooves: its legs bend backwards somehow?
  • Ooze - any: Slam: it reaches backwards into itself, accidentally imploding?
  • Satyr - Satyr Piper: Gore: stops combat for a yoga session?
  • Shambling Mound - any: Tendrils: hugging itself twelve times can cause a fatal blow?
  • Spectre - any: Spectral Touch: makes itself double-haunted?
  • Stirge - any: Bite: hugs itself and sucks its own blood?
  • Unicorn - any: Hooves: wouldn't the broken leg required mean it'd need to be put down?
  • Wraith - Wraith: Shadow Touch: double wraithlike now?
  • Wraith - Mad Wraith: Touch of Madness: double insanity?