"Iz sad day when our mighty WHEEEEEEEE must fight udda Orks, but dem grotz no not da powah of friendship! We fightz only in da defense of our survival, as iz sa way of Warbro Mildz-Tempar, but when we fight, we show dem udda grotz dat WE ARE BIGGAH, AND STRONGAH AND NICER DEN DEY. DESE GITZ WILL ACCEPT OUR FRIENDSHIP, OR THEY WILL BE PACIFICIFIED BY ITS MIGHT."
- – Minor Warbro Calmzor, before engaging Waaaagh! Skullcrusha
The Blue Teem are a race of mutated Orks who enjoy friendship and only fight in self-defense.
It all started with an offhanded comment about a kid at a Games Workshop who decided to paint his orks blue and make them "good guys." It ended with Warbro Mildz-tempar accidentally blowing up an army of enemy orks and stopping a Waaagh! that would have decimated the galaxy. They refer to their Waaaaaagh! as a WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!, a voyage of love and friendship in which the Blue Orks rampage across the galaxy, throwing parties and giving out hugs.
It middled with some other stuff. Here's the rundown.
It is also suggested that they have connections among the Lovecrons but these are denied by most Warbroz.
The Teem is divided into three clans: Fun Sunz, Speed Ladz, and 'Ug-'eads.
The Fun Sunz, led by Warbro Mildz-tempar, are known for their wild, often impromptu parties. It should be noted that Mildz-Tempar is more or less recognized as Supreme Warbro of the WHEEEEEEE!
The Speed Ladz are famous across the galaxy (or at least planetwide) for their bike races, in which competitors have been known to paint their bikes a dark crimson, widely believed to be the slowest shade of red, as a show of sportsmanship. Most orks will gladly pay a small mouthful of teeth for the opportunity to attend one of these races, and they can rest assured that all proceeds go to charity.
The 'Ug-'eads are the most affectionate as well as the most mechanically inclined of the Blue Teem clans, and are often sought out by the other two clans for their expertise.
Despite their friendly ways, however, these are orks, and underestimating them can prove a deadly mistake, as their green-skinned cousins have learned the hard way time and again.
The soundest of these victories went as follows:
Warbro Mildz-tempar only had one option left.
He had sent his best surprizeboyz to a small outpost to cheer up the green orks, but one of their partypakkz had malfunctioned, sending a partier, pointed hat and all, careening into a barrel of fuel. Eight orks had been caught in the blast, and one grot, still on fire, had run screaming into the armory. There were no survivors.
He needed to apologize, and from the mass of ork silhouettes in the distance, all carrying weaponized partypoppas or bigger toyz, he could tell that he needed to apologize now.
And he knew just the way!
Quickly, he stumbled through the cool early morning back into the encampment, and looked for a mekanik to give his suggestion, but alas! All the mekaniks were still asleep, and he couldn't wake them... that would be rude! The Warbro had no choice but to build himself. And build he did... As tall as twenty orks and twice that long, he built it... a giant metal squig. A peace offering for the greenskins.
He rode the great beast toward the oncoming army, squinting as the sun rose over the horizon. When he was close enough that he was sure they would see their gift, but still far enough away that he could safely remove himself from it, he retreated, leaving the peace offering behind.
They stopped for well over an hour, and as they climbed all over the great robotic beast, Mildz-tempar couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. His relief was short-lived, however, as the squig roared to life once more, and when it came into focus, he saw, to his horror, that it was covered in weapons.
Shaking his head, he turned to go wake the sleeping orks, when suddenly the shrieking of the squiggly bot stopped. The Warbro frowned. Partly because he was suspicious, and partly because he'd been really proud of himself for making the engine shriek like that. He thought it sounded a lot like a real squig.
Then it exploded. As bits of green rained down upon him, Warbro Mildz-tempar reflected on the reason he was not a mekanik.
Blue Teem Terminology
The Blue Teem's common nomenclature reflects both their Orky heritage and their friendly nature.
Warbosses = Warbroz
Nobz = Big Broz
Mekboyz = Mekanik
Weirdboyz = Magikboyz
Warpheads = Magikpro
Painboyz = Luvboyz
Meganobz = Bigga Broz
Ork Boyz = Ork Budz
Trukks = Big Kar
Tankbustas = Tankstoppaz
Lootas = Borrowaz
Mek = Greasemonkee
Kommandos = Sneaky Budz
Burna Boyz = Toasty Ladz
Warbikes = Lovebikez
Stormboyz = Partyboyz/Surprizeboyz
Deffkopta = Funkopta
Warbuggies = Racekart
Gretchin = Wee Budz
Runtherd = Sitta
Big Gunz = Big Toyz
Kannon = Peacemakin' Toy
Lobba = Throwin' Toy
Zzap Gun = Sparkin' Toy
Deff Dread = Big 'Ugga
Killa Kan = 'Ugga Kan
Looted Wagons = Borrowed Wagginz
Battlewagons = Buddy Wagginz
Flash Gitz = Spiffy Dudez
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