Boatmurdered

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Yes, that dwarf IS on fire and he IS enraged.
"Welcome to fucking Boatmurdered! Hope you like miasma!"

Boatmurdered is the story of an infamous Dwarf Fortress succession game that originated on Something Awful. Highlights include elephantine genocidal warfare against incessantly moronic-greedy dwarfs and "Fuck the World" levers that drown everything outside of the fortress in an ocean of all-consuming magma. There really is no good way to convey the insanity beyond reading the story itself.

Basic Summary[edit]

Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by a small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by nearly a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point, the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland.

As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device angers many of surrounding civilisations, including elves and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world, which goes as well as you can expect when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers (either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad, including one who’s named StarkRavingMad) are left unrestricted, and focus their entire efforts on selfishly building bigger and bigger burial tombs for themselves, while countless working dwarfs die in the process.

Eventually, one of the final kings, in a bout of madness, releases lava onto a merchant band of humans, killing them all. The effect of this aggression is catastrophic, as the lava creates a fire which spreads throughout the fortress, leading to already-insane dwarven warriors, criminals and lunatics becoming mad berserkers, due to all the smoke corrupting their brains. Within days, the fortress becomes a bloodbath as omnicidal dwarfs kill each other without mercy or thought. The only two survivors of this madness are a young girl, the defacto and final ruler of Boatmurdered, and a grizzled veteran who, seeing first hand the evil that lies within the very spirit of Boatmurdered, abandons the settlement for good, leaving the girl to her fate and promising himself to never return.

What happens next is largely unknown, although it is known many an archaeologist will discover the ruins of Boatmurdered only never to return.

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