Busty Barbarian Bimbos
note: On February 15, 2013 BBB was launched as a Kickstarter Campaign to raise $2500. Funds will go towards printing & shipping physical copies of the game to backers and paying the artists responsible for the delicious cheesecake therein. Project details at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/burrowowl/busty-barbarian-bimbos/
Originally known as "Braindead Bimbo Barbarians," Busty Barbarian Bimbos is a lighthearted fantasy roleplaying game of swords & sluttery for people who don't take themselves too seriously. Players take on the role of the ridiculously under-dressed women featured on the covers and interior art of fantasy and sci-fi books. The rules and setting are rigged to provide such characters with opportunities to succeed and excel.
Originated on the /tg/ board of 4chan, the project was picked up for further development, playtesting, and proper publishing by Burrowing Owl Publications. It exceeded it's goal by over $10,000(!!!), and the rewards were delivered by mid-2014. Rules are now available for purchase on Amazon and BoardGameGeek. A /tg/ success story indeed!
Slap: is a Bimbo's physical strings and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics.
Legs: is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc.
Uhm: is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic.
Tits: is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.
These stats have a minimum of 2 and a maximum of 5. When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stas. Always roll three 6-sided dice.
- For an easy check one success is needed.
- For a normal check two successes are needed.
- For a hard check, all dice shown must be successes.
Rolling two or more ones results in a critical success, while rolling two or more sixes results in a fumble (critical failure).
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result. This effectively turns a success into a critical success.
A Word on Math
Math is like, hard n' stuff. The SLUT engine is as math-lite as possible to accommodate in-character play and because it's funny in the context of the premise.
There are three character-creation options. Generate your stats with three dice and a small amount of math, generate your stats and assign abilities collaboratively, and generate your stats with three die rolls and a couple tables. Once your four stats are determined, assign two Basic Abilities and one Advanced Ability. Figure out a number of mechanically-irrelevant facts about your Bimbo (dress size, favorite coffee drink order, astrological sign, etc), and you're off to the races.
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (5)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and hoard treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs may have special abilities as well.
For any rule that describes the use of a specific bimbo stat (Slap, Legs, Uhm, or Tits), the NPC's single stat may be substituted at the GM's discretion.
Sometimes bimbos get into fights. In Busty Barbarian Bimbos they get into fights a lot.
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
No hit points. Target an opponent's stat of your choice (NPCs only have one stat). On a hit, that stat is not available for one round. It is disabled and vulnerable. After the target's turn, it is no longer disabled but still vulnerable. When the target's turn comes up a second time, it is no longer vulnerable either. If a stat is hit again while it is vulnerable, the target has been incapacitated and may not participate in the scene any more.
Wardrobe Malfunction & Plot Armor
A Bimbo may risk an article of clothing (a top, bottom, or footwear) to avoid a hit. NPCs have plot armor, which doesn't work as efficiently, tilting things in the players' favor.
Outside of combat, movement happens at GM discretion. Generally speaking, you cannot expect a bimbo in high heels to walk for more than an hour or two at a time; those things are uncomfortable.
Engaging an Opponent
Characters in combat are either engaged in melee with another character or not; let's not spend a lot of time tracking distances and stuff. That's complicated. Characters can be engaged at normal range or skin-to-skin.
Shopping is extremely important in Bimbo culture, and keeping a continuously-updated wardrobe is a high priority.
Magic, as performed by player characters, takes the form of Tittiemancy. Characters with a high Uhm score know more spells. Characters with a high Tits score are better at using those spells and have more mana. Tittiemancy is available as an advanced ability. Additional advanced abilities can make more mana or spells available.
Assumed Setting Information
Braindead Bimbo Barbarians assumes that all player characters are attractive young women in skimpy clothing that go around adventuring for some reason or other, often involving getting into fights with enemies that would just as soon kill, kidnap, enslave, and/or ravage them (any or all of the above, not necessarily in that order). Adventures do not happen in a vacuum, so there must be a setting for these adventures to happen in and challenges for the bimbos to overcome.
The following is one take on a setting appropriate for a BBB game:
Dark Moon, a Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland
Once this was a verdant, fertile, prosperous land. The menfolk toiled in the fields and protected the towns, and the world was as it should be. Then the man-kings rose to power. Using forbidden technology and foul magics, the man-kings leeched the very manliness from the air, water, and soil around them, gathering its power and hording it for themselves. The women-folk looked on in horror as their husbands, fathers, and sons withered before their very eyes, their masculine stubble thinning out to peach fuzz, their muscles shrinking away to near-usefulness, their vitality and enthusiasm in the bedroom almost completely sapped. The man-kings captured and enslaved thousands of subjects to toil in their factories. They castrated hundreds and pressed them into service as eunuch-soldiers for their incessant wars against each other. They thundered across the wastelands in their Ford F-150s and Dodge Rams with the KC lights and lifted suspension kits bringing down wild game with guns and spear and their own bare hands.
Grimdark cities surrounded by parched, craggy badlands belch black smoke into the sky. Storm-ravaged seas crash dark waves against rocky shores. Foreboding mountains quake with volcanic eruptions and landslides. Bones and broken weapons litter battlefields ancient and new along the borders between the realms of the individual man-kings. Dragons wheel in the sky, vomiting flame and lightning at each other, sometimes at the man-kings' behest, sometimes as wild predators. In the realms of the man-kings this is an era of gasoline, magic, and heavy metal. In the wilds, it is a primitive struggle for survival, as man-kings greedily keep their secrets of automotive repair, barbecue cuisine, and other manly arts hidden away.
Humanity is now a shadow of what it once was. Continuous war, a ravaged environment, and premature ejaculation have taken their toll on the population. Only one child in ten is a boy now, and only one in ten of them survives to a effeminate adulthood without falling prey to sickness or being press-ganged into a man-kings' legions. In the man-kings' territories, women perform nearly all the labor, toiling in the hot sun or sweatshops. The fairest are taken away to serve in the pleasure palaces and temples. But not all people live under the man-kings' thumbs. In the icy mountains and deep jungles, small bands of free women live simple but desperate existences. These women rely on hunter-warrior women to bring food to their tables and fend off ravenous dinosaurs, great apes, and slavers.
Dark Moon, as a setting, provides a handful of character background archetypes for players to work with, a some stock antagonist types for the GM, and a veneer of an explanation as to why bimbos in bikinis might be running around with axes and swords killing stuff. About as skimpy an explanation as one of the heroines' miniskirt, but we aren't aiming for verisimilitude here. Verisimilitude is way too big a word to be involved.
Reference Material worth looking into
- The Dark Sun D&D campaign setting
- The movie Heavy Metal
- Every Iron Maiden album ever
BBB Equipment for tables of random item generation, including titanium panties, lined with zebra fur.
BBB Rogues Gallery for sample villains for the game, including Tyrannosaurus Rex: (T-Rexing 5) (Plot Armor 5).