Caerys

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"They shall come, expecting the obvious, the simple, the artless. They shall stab at the shadows with confused minds and troubled hearts. Meanwhile, we shall appear unseen from ten directions, and from every one strike a fatal blow."

– Caerys in Dawn of War: Soulstorm Showing her ignorance of the enemy. They’d just blow everything up instead.
Farseer Caerys
She isn't enough of a bitch to get away with this

Farseer Caerys AKA Farseer Careless, is an Eldar Farseer from Dawn of War: Soulstorm who belongs to Craftworld Ulthwé. She is usually depicted with black hair tied into a ponytail, and she's sometimes thought of as a lesbian, and also a vague female version of Eldrad (she inherited his pistol). She seems to have the largest breasts of the female Eldar characters in the games thus far. Some say she has a bizarre attraction to Taldeer, and was consequently infuriated when she supposedly lost her to a certain Mon'keigh, and took her frustration out on the Sisters of Battle's Canoness Selena Agna during the Kaurava campaign. She eventually released Selena, but only after the both of them did both lewd and heretical acts which is detailed here-(NSFW).

She's supposedly with Macha now, as she's the only one left that desperate to be with her.

With her not returning in Dawn of War 3, Macha's reappearance, and Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter evident victory, we can either assume that she ran away like a bitch, or her head now rests on Gorgutz boss pole, along with the likes of Indrick Boreale,Vance Motherfucking Stubbs and Commander Or'es'Ka. Though her, Or'Es'Ka, Tahril, and Stubbs are never seen actually being killed and make mention of getting away to try and fight another day.

Soulstorm[edit]

After somehow foreseeing the Necron awakening on Kaurava III, Caerys decides to go and fuck them up. Thanks to some conveniently placed Webway Gates, Caerys, along with some Ulthwé Eldar, decide to create a super-sneaky stealth base (completely invisible) at an equally super-sneaky location. Being the slow mindless bastards that they are, the Necrons have no fucking idea that the Eldar are even there (probably because most of them are incapable of forming ideas).

If Caerys succeeds in conquering the Kaurava System (non-canon), then the Ulthwé Eldar under her command will "scour" the planets for any remaining survivors. Eventually, they discover that some human fodder had actually survived the crazy fuck-fest that was Soulstorm. Being the complete pussies that they are, the Eldar simply run away, and leave the Imperials to recolonize the system. Later, when the Imperials attempt to recolonize Kaurava III, they are subsequently sabotaged by the Eldar who were hiding there (sneaky bastards!). After several failed colonization attempts, the new governor general (who happens to look exactly like Colonel Carus Brom, but is actually someone else) decides to abandon the worthless piece of shit.

If the Ulthwé Eldar fail to conquer the Kaurava System (which she did, given that it's now Orky), then Caerys will pussy out, and retreats back to Craftworld Ulthwé through an active Webway Gate, therefore leaving the remaining Eldar to deal with her mess, lazy bitch.

Gallery[edit]

Famous Eldar
Heroes: Eldrad Ulthran - Illic Nightspear - Prince Yriel - Yvraine
Phoenix Lords: Asurmen - Baharroth - Drastanta - Fuegan
Irillyth - Jain Zar - Karandras - Maugan Ra
From Dawn of War I: Farseer Caerys - Farseer Macha - Farseer Taldeer
From Dawn of War II: Autarch Kayleth - Farseer Elenwe - Farseer Idranel
Ranger Ronahn - Warlock Veldoran