Campaign:MY RHYMES ARE SICK, MY BEATS ARE SLICK IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK/Stories

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Campaign: MY RHYMES ARE SICK, MY BEATS ARE SLICK IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

Stories[edit]

This is where most of the lore for the campaign will be posted. Some of it is relevant to the characters.

Back when the forest was larger and the trees were thicker, and when the Range Towns of Marukan were still tents of wandering nomads, there was a goddess known as The Lady of the Treacherous Pines, who was known back then as She With Roots Above and Branches Below. She known for her constant scheming and trickery and was a lesser goddess of the great forest and under the jurisdiction of the forest's patron goddess, The Lady of Resplendent Oak. She With Roots Above and Branches Below despised The Lady of Resplendent Oak, who gave the worst jobs to her. She With Roots Above would always be forced to trim branches, create paths for travelers, walk the Wood Spiders, and keep the lesser elementals from ruining the unity of the forest. Of course, The Lady of Resplendent Oak would always take the credit and praise for She With Roots Above's work. It was always her who the villagers worshiped, she who was friends with the tiny, woodland creatures, and she who gained the recognition. She With Roots Above hated The Lady of Resplendent Oak not because she took all the credit, but because she was genuinely kind and loving to her followers, unlike She With Roots Above who demanded that her worshipers live in constant fear and terror of their goddess. One morning, as she was forging another path through the forest, she came up with a sinister plan. She would find a mortal to kill the forest's patron goddess, as she was under contract and could not commit such an offense. She twisted all the paths in the forest to her domain, a small hedge of thorns in which she resided. She seduced male adventurers and warriors, watching everyone who came into the forest. If she found one that was to her liking, she would cause all the paths in the forest to twist and direct the warrior to her domain where she would seduce him and make them pledge their worship to her and her only. In this fashion, she quickly became the patron goddess of warriors and travelers in the area. She harnessed the power and essence that she gleaned from her followers' prayers and sacrifices and gave herself an image of illustrious beauty, one that men would find hard to ignore. Her power soon came to rival The Lady of Resplendent Oak, but she was still subjugated to the orders and whims to the forest's patron goddess. She With Roots Above decided to bring her plan into fruition and find one mortal with a pure heart that she could corrupt and coerce into committing deicide.

In a small clearing of the forest, just north-east of where the Range Towns of Marukan are now, there was a small village that was plagued by a demented forest spirit. A gigantic behemoth of moss, root, and swamp fog known as The Giant Hogweed. The villagers did their best to kill the creature and sacrificed many of their manliest and bravest warriors to do so. These brave men and their gigantic, bastard swords could not destroy the creature and withstand the terrible hexes of this creature and it came to one warrior priest to stop the creature. The elders of his village trusted this young warrior with a quest, to find the goddess of the forest and beseech her for help in dispatching the terrible creature. The young warrior traveled into the center of the forest in a desperate search, only to be caught by She With Roots Above and Branches Below. She disguised herself as The Lady of Resplendent Oak, changing her name for the first time to The Lady of the Treacherous Pines. She seduced the warrior-priest, trapping him in her hedge for several months and fawning over him. A brief flicker of love sparked in her heart, and he grew fond of her too. Ultimately, The Lady of the Treacherous Pines betrayed her lover, forging him a lance of great power and handing it to her lover, instructing her to kill The Lady of Resplendent Oak and telling him that by killing this evil goddess, his village would be saved. He immediately accepted and ran off, lance in hand after the goddess. He found her in a cave, the home of her husband The Mountain King of Rolling Rock and Stone. With lance in hand, he fought the goddess and pierced her side with the lance. She let out a terrible yell as the lance punctured her skin and pushed itself through the very essence of her being. Her body than exploded into a barrage of giant, wooden splinters. One of those splinters ended up lodging itself in his arm, causing it to flake and grow rough and rigid, like the trunk of a majestic oak. He then tore off his wooden arm and turned it into a wooden spear, a gift he saw worthy for his goddess. He then returned to The Lady of the Treacherous Pines offering the spear as a worthy trophy of his loyalty and affection. The Lady had finally tasted triumph, she had everything she wanted, she was the heroine and her rival was dead, and she knew love. He stayed in the Lady's hedge for one night before leaving to his village. Just as he was about to leave the hedge, a fence of thorns surrounded him and The Lady. "I've killed off everyone in your village, now we can stay together forever. You won't be distracted by them anymore. The Giant Hogweed is still alive, he is my creation. He killed everyone in your village so that we could be together."

The Lady believed that her lover would have appreciated her gift and pledge to lover her for all time, but she was wrong. The young warrior picked up the spear forged from his arm and fought against the goddess, finally piercing the heart of the goddess. He than ran away, seeing that the forest had rotted and become a lesser image of its once glorious splendor. His tiny village now rested on the plains and seemed to lean away from the forest. He entered it, expecting to find no survivors, but found five. A young shepherd boy, a maid, the village blacksmith, the town fool, and the woman would would soon become his wife. Armless and now without family, the young warrior told his tale to the survivors and helped them organize a counter-attack against The Lady of the Treacherous Pines' terrible creation. Sure enough, The Giant Hogweed had been sent to find the young warrior and bring him back to The Lady of the Treacherous Pines. He and the remaining villagers fought off the beast and he with his spear ended up killing the creature. With the creature defeated, the young warrior set to work on rebuilding the village and built a shrine to the goddess he had destroyed, setting the spear on the altar, in case he ever need to pick it up once more.


Dear Jammy,

You owe me (1) Blow-job cuz this was a bitch to write.

Regards, Mitch.