Campaign:Penal regiment designation /tg/
Penal Regiment Designation /tg/ is a piece of crack-infused roleplay that originated in a thread where a certain Commissar Gaurun did a field kit inspection. Others joined in and soon the thread and the characters began living a life of their own, defending against a chaos bakery, orks and tyranids
- 1 Characters
- 2 Events
- 2.1 The Gaurun Saga
- 2.2 The Cadian Saga
- 2.3 Tropical Resort saga
- 2.4 A Praetorian Sanguinalia
- 2.5 Somerius Conflict Saga
- 2.6 Beshk
- 2.7 The Titanfall Saga
- 2.8 The Chronicle's of B'Ork
- 3 The lost and the damned
- 4 The Penal Regiment Codex
This section includes the characters who are currently alive and present in the game.
- Nyzart the Finite A poorly disguised necron infiltrating the regiment for unknown reasons. Foils the plans of Virmanthras on a regular basis, and is the rightful heir to the Fahkeet dynasty, which
iswas ruled by his brother. Currently Ruling Lord of the Fahkeet Dynasty, sitting comfortably on a throne inside Gospyria. Still keeps in touch with the regiment.
|Nyzart the Finite:||4||4||5||5||3||2||2||10||3+|
InterrogatorInquisitor Alice Wellsley: Former Colour Bearer of the 42nd and current Interrogator of the Ordo Malleus , under Alan Wellesley, who hangs around and.....occasionally kills Daemons, Alice has a justified fear of Slaanesh caused by a vaguely defined incident that took place during same battle that ended with the 42nd being sent here. Appreciates the existence of her retinue's Assassin and may distrust Jackson at the moment. Recently ascended to full inquisitor after accomplishing some incredible feats.
- Micheal B'ork the Great Explodeh Ork A former Ork Warboss and self proclaimed "Explodeh Ork", who's entire WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! was once wiped out after he ordered his fellow Orks to strap themselves with "Explodeh" vests, and charge directly into a hive city, before simultaneously detonating their vests. While the ensuing explosion was quite grand, and did completely level the hive city, it left Micheal standing amongst the rubble as the only remaining Ork in his WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!. He blames this on the fact that "Dohse Grots wasn't Evah true Explodeh Orks! Everyone knows Explodeh Orks are immune ta Explosions!". It was during his time alone that he met his "bestest friend Evah", the Sons of Malice Warpsmith, Depherion, and has been attempting to help him with his various schemes (why did you think he never gets very far with them?), In the hopes acheiveing his dream of seeing "Dah bestest, most collahful. Most beutahful, most GREATEST EXPLOSION EVAH!". Has a deep fascination with explosions. He now currently leads a great explodeh, and suicidal Ork WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! against the Imperium, in an effort to avenge his now deceased chaos friend, Depherion.
|Micheal B'Ork the X'Plo'Deh Warboss:||135||6||1||5||6||3||4||4||9||2+|
- Special Rules
'Ere we Go| Furious Charge| Independent Character| Mob Rule| Waaagh!| Stikkbomb| A True X'Plo'Deh Ork: All Ork units within 12" of Micheal B'Ork, are immune to all blast, large blast, and apocalyptic template weaponry.
- The Various Members of the Wellesley Family A rather polite Praetorian Noble Family from which Arthur and Alice hail, the family is currently headed by one Alexander Wellesley and is rumoured to have family members in most, if not all of the major Imperial Institutions that do not require one to have a specific gene. Given that Alex's Brother Alan is a Lord Inquisitor, the rumours may be accurate.
- Tempestor Malak Ordenius A young man in his early twenties. He was originally stationed within the 277th Orvustillian Mechanised Infantry Regiment as a demolition expert, before most of the regiment was wiped out shortly after landing during the Somerius campaign. He was later saved and forcefully signed onto the regiment by Lt. Jackson. Despite his rank, and his sometimes harsh personality, he tends to play the roll of the kind older brother towards the men of the regiment, and will often try to get involved in its members personal lives. After a series of unfortunate events, he was sponsored for the Stormtrooper program by Inquisitor Laraque. He recently finished his training, and is now a Scion of the 72nd Epsilic Valkyries, although the intense physical and mental conditioning involved has caused him to lose all memory of his time within the regiment, prior to becoming a Scion.
|Tempestor Malak Ordenius:||25||3||4||3||4||2||3||2||8||4+|
- Special Rules
Move through Cover| Deep Strike| Independent Character| Demo man: All grenade, grenade launchers, and demo charges used by allied forces within 12" of Tempestor Malak Ordenius gain a blast template, with normal blasts becoming "large blast" templates. Allows rerolls to failed "to hit" rolls with any such weapons weapons|
- Sergeant 'Oddball' A very relaxed tank commander within the regiment, with a talent for detecting what he likes to call, " Positive and Negative waves" (Whatever the hell that means...). His personal interpretation of what a hero is, "A hero is some sort of weird Sandwich, not some nut who takes on three Heretics at a time." He and his crew pilot a Tau Hammerhead tank that they recovered. He, alongside his men, are currently assigned as a members of Inquistor Wellesley's retinue
- Gunner Anya Laski A rather shy, and soft-spoken Felinid who works under Sergeant Oddball as one of his Hammerhead's tank Gunners. Supposedly she was once kept as an exotic "pet" by a rather wealthy and corrupt noble, before somehow escaping and being assigned under Oddball.
She may or may not letting a certain pilot "pet the pussy", so to speak.If she isn't, then somebody had better tell me what the hell all those sounds I've been hearing during the night are! She is currently assigned as a member of Inquistor Wellesley's retinue
- Stormtrooper Frisk Roben A Tempestus Scion who lost her entire unit while on deployment to the world of Umbrellion, while under the Command of Inquisitor Felbringer. Upon being rescued from the planet's zombie infested surface, she was reassigned to the regiment, where she has been slowly re-adjusting.
- Corporal Melissa Vaulse A former member of the Planetary Defense Force for the Ice mining world known as Gyroma. Melissa and the surviving members of Gyroma's PDF were reassigned to Theta Gamma after Gyroma was deemed lost to the Dark Eldar. A talented cook in her own right. Melissa can make even the most simple of meals taste like an expertly crafted dish that could put most Hive world's top chefs to shame. She recently expressed to a certain Guardsman Ragaa that she has romantic feelings for him, which he willingly accepted. Congratulations to the regiment's newest couple.
|Corporal Melissa Vaulse:||3||3||3||3||2||3||1||7||5+|Guardsman CorporalTempestus Scion Ragaa An enigmatic Feral Worlder, this Dusk-born man suffered heavy injuries in his first combat action. Little is known of the man himself, beyond his home (Dusk), previous occupation (guide) and his shunning of company, especially that of Commissars and Inquisitors. He does have a soft spot for food, which has caused Melissa to become the only member of the regiment who he readily accepts into his company. Lately has become very close with her. Seems to hold little fear for the daemon and most alien, but is terrified of the thought of returning home. He was convicted for murder of seven Nobles, and suspicion of many more: The truth behind these murders are shadowy, but he has claimed it was out of greed and fear.
|Tempestus Scion Ragaa:||3||3||3||3||1||3||1||7||5+|
- Kane the Mane A Former Discipline Master of the old Imperialis Militia turned Slanesshi worshipper during the Horus Heresy over ten millennium ago. Kane "Joined" the regiment disguised as a Member of the Commissarat, but his Slanesshi origins were rather quickly discovered by the more observant members of the regiment (his outfit was entirely pink and purple). From that point on, the perverted cultist tried time and again to infiltrate the regiment. With his plans often failing, and causing him to either be killed, or sent back to the Warp. To be Eternally reborn atop the Prince of Excess' dick as is his curse. While he is neither truly accepted, nor rejected by the men and women of Theta Gamma, his heretical presence is however "Tolerated", as his immortality, and willingness to sacrifice himself has often proved useful during the regiment's most dire times. He is currently a member of Inquistor Wellesley's retinue. Has become intimately close with a former Tau fire warrior.
- Palatine sister Theresia: Head of a small group of sisters. Took the regiment with her to defeat the monster of Cake. Is the sororitas that Gaurun had "relations" with, and is a pain in his ass, maybe literally. Managed to return to her Order after the Regiment made landfall on Praetoria. She had a squad of her sisters have been reassigned to the regiment, for as of now, unknown reasons.
|Palatine Sister Theresia:||3||4||3||3||2||3||1||9||+3|
- Garian 'Gary the Catachan' Lawzom A Catachan Major with a hard on for Nuns with Guns, Brawling Lictors and hunting tyranids. He's one of the veteran members of the regiment and enjoys killing Xenos in the Emperor's name. He's also fond of making different brews from dead tyranid organisms....and occasionally other Xenos.
Was transferred over to another Inquisitorial regiment.Was fired by the Inquistion and transferred back to Theta Gamma.
- Special rules
Laugh it off: On a roll of +6, Gary regains a lost wound| Move through Cover| Jungle Juice (one use only): Through the use of specially made "Catachan Steroids", Gary gains +1 Strength at the cost of -1 to leadership. This effect lasts until the start of your next turn| Eternal Warrior| Independent Character| Senior Officer| Chain of Command| Prefered enemy (Tyranids)| Voice of Command.
- Admiral Caffran Sternbridge: Commander of the regiments naval strike forces. The man is considered by many to be one of the Imperium's most brilliant naval tacticians and fleet commanders. Faked his death for a yet unknown reason, only to return back to the regiment, as the commander of its battlegroup.
|Admiral Caffran Sternbridge:||35||3||4||3||3||2||3||2||8||+5|
- Special Rules
One company Command squad that has purchased the "Officer of the Fleet" model, may choose to upgrade it to "Admiral Caffran Sternbridge" for an additional 30 points. Navy Orders| Orbital Bombardment: As the Naval Commander of Battle Group Theta Gamma, the Admiral can order orbiting vessels to lay down an barrage upon an area.
|Infinite||10||1||Ordnance 1, Barrage, Large Blast, Once Use Only, Orbital|
- Guardsman Xerxes Yet another Calixian addition to the regiment. Apparently normal, albeit his rank and gear hint toward lack of experience. Scarred old man in ancient set of undamaged and seemingly unused gear. Surprisingly has not shown signs of madness thus far.
- Special Rules
|Calm amongst the Storm: Any unit that Xerxes is assigned has +1 to "Deny the witch" rolls against pysker powers targeting them.
Characters that either died in action or decided to leave to (probably) never return.
- Guardsman "Gibbers" Hall: survivor of Mara, killed 12 fellow guardsman with his bare hands and ate them. Part insane, part PTSD. Likes having water in his ears. Has a left arm mutated into tentacles (KIA. Cause of death: Exploded against a wave of chaos Khorne Cultists, Berserkers and Traitor Guardsmen at Cadia).
- Guardswoman Kal Teest: has a strange accent and strange behavior. Deepthroats drill bits. Sets the fake armory on fire in which the regiments keeps its porn. Dies blammed.
- Second Lieutenant Joe: Starts out as Sergeant with bouts of incontrollable bloodthirst and rage, but gets promoted by the Vostroyan Liaison officer to second lieutenant. Managed to file paperwork while having his legs shot and torn. Ascended to martyrdom in the service of the Emperor by RIDING WITH THE EMPEROR ON VALHALLA, ALL SHINY AND CHROME / driving a chimera stuffed with explosives into a confectionery monster from the Chaos' Bakery, bravely sacrificing himself.
- The remnants of the Praetorian 42nd: Survivors of disaster after disaster on an Agri-World too irrelevant for a name, shipped off to the Penal Regiment simply because they were closest, they now attempt to keep their sanity in the insanity that is Penal Regiment /tg/. Notable that none of them like either Ron or Dolan.These guys managed to get out.
- Captain Arthur 'Skellington' Wellsley: Acting 2IC by virtue of being the only respectful person in the room when the decision was made, Arthur is rather relaxed for a Praetorian, trusting the lads to get the job done in their own way. But should you disobey the few orders he does give, the punishment will be... severe. This guy also got out, he may or may not return later.
- Dolan "Knife Bum"/"Legless"/"Aug-leg"Lim:A disgruntled half-insane trooper of the Penal Regiment and is a member of the Regiments growing Fighting Cripples Club. Came into prominence after attempting to reactivate and operate a Monoblade-lith. Rewarded by Ron Lorouge with a pin-up magazine of the of Lieutenant Alice Wellsley. After helping the regiment fend of a Warband of Khornate berserkers, he was shot by the Lieutenant and her Praetorian crew and lost both his legs for trying to run-off with some "heretical documents". He's legs were reattached and augmented after the Gellar field incident. May or may not be chaos tainted. Branded as a Heretic,
- Omicron XXIII-K-IV.: A Eversor Assassin found asleep in the back of a rusted Leman Russ, had it's skull mask changed to have a smile and communicates through gestures. A genuinely jolly chap although a bit worse for wear at the moment. Also has a pet Saharduin called Saharduin. Currently serving a rogue trader as his Seneschal. He's technically dead after falling through the warp sometime in the future and being sent back 700 years to Somerius where he became a town's protector and surviving thanks to his stasis chamber. He died of old age once the chamber failed. But he's currently still alive and travelling with the Rogue trader.
- Saharduin.: Commonly thought to be Omi's pet but is actually his servant as a matter of honour for suffering a defeat in a duel. Now a Acolyte for the Inquisitor he stomps round in Assault Centurion armour and has taken on many of his master's interests. Currently serving a rogue trader as his Arch-Militant.
- Field chirurgeon Rogan Impaired old man from the feral/death world of Dusk. Obsessed with herbs, curses and a "spirit" he calls "Ol' Lady". Has no actual medical training and knows little of ailments that are not found on his homeworld. Recently learned that De-Tox helps with herb-related poisonings. Still learning "low goffik" and what all the other standard drugs ("kemi-kulls") do. Gunned down by Anna on Somerius while trying to open a portal to his homeworld.
- Eta XXXII Never found too far away from a few bloody marys. Eta seems to be on a one man mission to find the true capability's of a Vindicare's liver all while providing 'Over-watch' to the regiment. Surprise, though, he was a necron under an admittedly clever disguise.
Has currently returned to his Master's 'Court' on Gospyria.
- Rax A new addition to the regiment, not much is yet known of him, except for his horribly weak tolerance to alcohol, fascination in beasts and habit of calling everyone "milord" or "milady" until told otherwise. Recently injected himself with an obscure drug that sent him to a sadistic fit of rage. After the Incident, underwent strange changes which were mostly fixed with surgery. His fate is yet to be decided, and he is held in a containment cell. Attempted to help kill Amelia, but died due to drug-related organ failure.
- Larrs Fireheart An Eldar Harlequin who infiltrated the regiment disguised as a perverted medic, it is still yet unknown regarding how much of his perversions where a ruse and how much of it was real. whilst still disguised as a human he received grave injuries when fighting agaisnt a chaos android and because of this, Larrs now has his left arm, leg and eye replaced by augmentations. he also revealed his ambitions to become a Solitaire, although how he failed and ended up an outcast is not fully known. he once had a 3-way with a demonette and a flayed one, they were both less kinky than he was. Was killed by a mixture of grenade shrapnel, and 20-40 laser and heavy bolter rounds, after having gone rogue in an effort to help a former fling return to Commorragh.
- Bob Hueman An Ork in disguise of a guardsman His reasons are yet unknown however most of the other crew are too stupid to notice or smart enough to not point out his true identity. he now has a power klaw replacing his right arm after the original was shot off by a Necron. his lleft leg has since been replaced with a chainsword and he has aquired a pet Broodlord who he has named "wada" after his dead friend, the new Wada is yet to make a statement on how he feels about being an oversized squig. Left the regiment to presue the life of a Kroozer KAPTAIN.
- Commissar Riki Went out with a bang...
- Word Bearer Sorcerer Virmanthras.: Word Bearer Space Marine that established contact with the regiment, trying to manipulate it for his own ends. Although he got what he wanted the first time, he's been deceived by the regiment's Necron Infiltrator Nyzart many times, screaming his common "THIS ISN'T OVER!" line each time, successfully becoming a returning villain since Cadia. His right hand man, Plague Champion Vilus is subject to occasional one-liners. Both Vilus and Virmanthras died on the tropical planet into which their ship crashed, Vilus assassinated by a Callidus Assassin (whom later she took his role to approach the sorcerer) and Virmanthras died by the Penal Regiment whilst he was ascending to daemonhood. But wait, he is back as a sort of ghost of his former self... literally, tied to Amelia since she touched the artifact he used to nearly ascend, was later discovered that Amelia is the last alive member of his descendence. We're hoping that since Amelia is dead, that so is he.
CorporalSergeant Kerg Eisen A grizzled veteran with third degree burns over 97.7% of his body due to pyromania. Lost his homeworld to a tyranid attack and was transferred to the regiment as radio officer. He was recently Ascended to Sergeant when Malak ascended to lieutenant. His attitude was to strictly follow protocol at all times, making honor to his name (Eisen being Iron in German) but Malak's influence has "normalized" him to regimental standards. Died while valiantly defending the Herald of Imperial Goodwill against a massive Ork boarding party.
- Miranda A deathworlder sniper drawn from the 7th Oblivian Sand Stalkers serving with the Stormtroopers, but formerly in the penal regiment. Appears to be easily startled and overly formal with her superiors, and kind of meek, but has been shown to be in the deep end of crazy. When not in mission, she is chained up in a small room. She is currently getting the help she needs at a mental care facility (or is hiding somewhere. We're not entirely sure).
- Anna Elisabetta Borgia: an insufferable cunt, mass murderer, arsonist and all around criminal who happens to be a Divination prodigy. Being Verasii's new pet psyker she enjoys bossing around the guards and generally being a pain for everyone to deal with. Goes by the monicker Trauma, that while pretty intimidating, originates by the fact that having to work with her is likely to result in sanity losses rather than because of her psychic abilities. For some reason the left half of her head is missing any form of hair. Currently sort of engaged with Jackson. Has not been seen in a while, and is presumed to have messed with the wrong planetary Governor. Enough said.
- Private Peepers:Died as he lived... fucking ridiculously (aka, flying a Valkyrie into the warp while unprotected).
AdeptMonster Callidon Novus: Inquisitorial acolyte attached to the regiment. Constantly attempts to hide any "problematic" facts about the regiment and its inquisitorial masters to make sure their motives and background will not be questioned should his attempts at bargaining for their political support for his master succeed. Secretive about his many lines of research. Made Larrs implant a Halo Device in his chest after his injury during a landing. Has been abandoned on the Herald, which he took control of and begun his journey back to the regiment. The Halo Device has made him a different person from his kind and helpful old self and changed him physically, to the point that he can no longer fully hide the changes he has been going through. He has given up his humanity in order to both lengthen his life span, and to better serve his "dark master". Took everything the regiment had, and was turned to ash.
- Admiral Caffran Sternbridge: Commander of the regiments naval strike forces. The man is considered by many to be one of the Imperium's most brilliant naval tacticians and fleet commanders. Lost his life protecting the men and woman of the regiment.
- Trooper Samantha "Sam" Hawthorn A female trooper from a tau sept world, originally sent to the regiment to get help for a incoming tyrannid invasion. Has a tau drone with a mind of it´s own and definitely no crush on Larrs. We assume she's gone back to the Tau after Larrs died. No skin off our backs if that's the case.
- Chief Navigator Lance Hollow The long time navigator of Admiral Sternbridge, little is known about this man cept his lust for muffins and gore. After his failure to save Sternbridge, he was sent off to serve on another ship.
- Hospitaller Claire Kelly A Sister of Battle Hosipteller who joined the regiment after her unit was wiped out during the fighting on Syventi IV. If Malak is considered the regiment's older brother, then Claire can most definitely be considered the regiment's older sister. She returned to her Sororita.
PariahInquisitor Ron Laroque:Manipulated by the Word Bearer's Chaos Lord Virmanthras into retrieving a Thousand Sons artifact.
Tricked into jumping into a warp portal directly exiting into a Word Bearers Cruiser. Fumbled about in the Library of the non-existent and collected a bunch of pornographic materials that technically doesn't exist. Rescued by the mechanicus disguised Tomb Lord Nyzart the Finite. He turned out to be a pariah
currently branded a heretic. Execution pending.Recieved pardon and is now being employed by the inquisition. Soon after becoming a member of the Ordo Chronos, he obtained a strange artifact and committed ritual suicide (via bolt round to brain, much to the dismay of the man he did it next to). Thankfully, the artifact allowed him to travel through time, which has left him stranded in the Imperial palace on Terra during the closing days of the Horus Heresy.
- Victus, Sanctioned Psyker A mind-cleansed psyker from Calixis, his past was erased with his mind. Sent to the regiment to pay for the crimes his original self did, he is currently a fervent believer of the Emperor who tries to atone for his forgotten sins. Suffers from constant nightmares, many of which are not his own. Dabbler in telekinetics and telepathy, his main strengths lie in being a rather powerful pyrokine and diviner. Died during a Harlequin attack, leaving only questions of his past, and of the future.
- Diane Kennedy Diane was one of the Kennedy siblings in charge of the Kennedy crime syndicate of Tallarn and several other imperial worlds, however she was captured and sent to work under the penal regiment where her brother met his grizzly fate at the hands of a traitor marine, she is calm and dignified with a rebellious streak a mile long. Currently manning the gun of Jaemis and Frisk's tank.
She may also be looking to get a hold of Jaemis' "Artillery piece", if you catch my drift.. Is thought to have escap d her punishment via the assistance of Inquistor Pratchett.
- Arnold "Twitch" York Arnold is a Tallarn world sniper, a nervous and shy man with fascination about boens and the way they break, he was once the look out for the Kennedy crime syndicate however he was taken captive by Arbite's, leading to the capture of both Diane, and her brother Rudolph, along with several others. Is thought to have escaped the Regiment, alongside his boss, Diane, and Inquistor Pratchett.
- 2nd Lt. Jericho Aaldenberg The man currently in command of the regiment's 3rd infantry company, as well as the being responsible for making sure the brass' orders are dispersed to the rest of the regiment. An all around tough ass, and Emperor fearing man. His wife recently died after giving birth to a baby boy. Leaving him to raise the regiment's only known Whiteshield. Lost his life after being sniped through the heart by an Eldar Ranger. His Son is currently being raised by members of the regiment.
- Sam Cromwell [Delta-LIX]: Callidus Assassin that impersonated Vilus in her attempt to murder Virmanthras. After completing her assignement she was staying with the regiment until called for service again by the officio assassinorum, until she was assigned to Lord Inquisitor Wellesley and attached to his Niece's retinue.
May also be 'attached' to the Niece herself.She totally is and we all know it. With the help of the Wellesley family, she has managed to fake her death, and has since taken on the name "Sam Cromwell", Inquisitorial Stormtrooper trained as a Medicae. Got married to Inquisitor Alice Wellesley.
- Wing Commander Victoria Rider A naval transport pilot that's been attached to regiment since shortly prior to the Sons of Malice incident on Gospyria. She was originally stationed with a PDF force, but decided to pursue a life as a pilot against her father's wishes. She may be quite "involved" with a certain Felinid tank gunner
She damn well is, and everyone knows it.She is currently assigned as a member of Inquistor Wellesley's retinue. Artillery Expert2nd Lieutenant Jaemis An artillery chief in his own right, Jaemis and his crew were sent as requisition for the regiment on the world Bakka. The crew has since been dubbed 'The russ boys' for their leman russ tank that was tarnished by the zealot squad. With his original tank having been lost, and it's crew now KIA. Jaemis is now the last surviving member of "The Russ Boys". Command as recently seen his true capabilities as a leader, and as such, have promoted him to the rank of 2nd Lieutenant, as well as having given him command over the regiment's 6th Armoured Company.
- Sergeant Major Leon Guerre Ex-Lord Commissar, and decorated war hero. He had been assigned one last post with the Regiment before being allowed to retire. Unfortunately, following a failed boarding action, he was arrested for abuse of military power and is currently serving a life sentence within the regiment's 12th penal company. Since then, he has rapidly risen through the ranks after several displays of extreme(ly suicidal) merit.
- Brutis Once a loyal, sanctioned psyker, now a disturbing madman chained within a steel coffin, which holds his life support system that keeps him fed and his blood oxygenated despite his airtight mask that also blinds him. Quadruple amputee and a true lowlife who has no respect for the Emperor... But seems unwilling to work with forces of Chaos as well.
- Commissar Fahrenheit 'Fahr' Eisen Son of, now deceased, Sergeant Kergan 'Kerg' Eisen. As per protocol standards, the boy was raised out of the family in the local schola progenium, there he learnt the ways of the commissariat. Came to the regiment in hopes to execute his father, which was considered a traitor by many on their homeworld, found a commissar-less, untrained, brutal, regiment full of penal scum. He couldn't feel more at home when it came to disciplining soldiers.
Currently acting commissar in the lack of any other, Eisen strives to keep his sanity intact as the regiment does its usual clusterfuck. During a fight against eldar Harlequins he lost his legs and part of his organs, replaced by bionic systems and limbs, as well as his left arm, which process to turn it into a bionic was abruptly interrupted and became unsalvageable. With an arm less, but a will of Iron, Eisen does his best to lead the regiment and keep the men alive, contrary to other members of his line of job, and given that he has to deal with penals everyday, Eisen believes that execution is a waste of imperial resources unless for the most strict charges of heresy (read: Chaos) or insurrection.
- Inquisitor Arnel Saerkaru A highly radical (almost heretically so) Inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos, with a habit (a rather nasty one at that) of studying the galaxy's various Xeno cultures and technologies. Often doing so in an ever continuing quest to "find and exploit their weaknesses against them". Throughout his time within the Ordo xenos, he has almost never been seen without some sort of smile upon his face. Weither this be the soft, and gentle smile of a proud father, or the wicked and evil grin of an insane villain about to achieve his master plan. A characteristic that his colleagues within the Ordo have come to find as both disturbing, yet oddly calming, depending upon the situation. From what little we know of the man, he has been closely following the regiment's various campaigns and adventures for some time now. With the recent disappearances of many of the regiment's former Inquisitors, Arnel has taken command of the regiment in an effort to give it's heretical members some form of "legitimacy" in the eyes of the Imperium and the Inquisition.
- Almost the entire Regiment:A running gag in which almost 95% of the regiment seems to die during any major battle. We estimate the death total to be somewhere around
18,469 19,005 19,58121,494 at this point. That's liable to change at any second.
Characters who were active but haven't been present in a long time, never acquiring an official retirement.
- Commissar Gaurun: Attached to the Penal Regiment /tg/. Unclear what he did to deserve. Drinks heavily, frequently desperate. His predecessor died of sheer stress. Traumatized by the Mars incident, which there must not be talked about.
- Officer Marr: suffered some traumatic event and now has strange initiatives concerning the artistry with which to dig trenches.
- Guardsman Lemming: Frequently comes up with new ways to injure others or himself while presenting this as "improvements". Assigned to the Penal Regiment for trying to innovate and tech-heresy after having been refused by the adeptus mechanicus. Admires G.N. Eric.
- Colonel Alexander Mikhailovich, Vostroyan 231st Regiment: Liaison with the Vostroyan troops. Part of the strange exchange program, has excellent recipes for Tyranid, which is apparently a vostroyan delicacy. Takes charge when the Commissar is unavailable.
- Stephen Meltaman: constantly searching for ammunition which he burns through faster than his meltagun burns through tyrannid flesh
- Major Herbert Hethering Smythe 2nd Praetorian Gaurd: Veteran of Basal IV. Ancient commander of Guardsman Ruh.
- Tallarn Roughrider Lieutenant Aaliyah: not actually part of the regiment but participated in the operations against the chaos bakery. First to observe the rise of the chaos bakery monster.
- G. N. Eric, Guardsman: sent to the penal regiment /tg/ by his mother. Has even worse ideas than Lemming.
- SergeantKommandoInDisguise: Is totally not an Ork, attempting to learn 'high gofic'. possibly the best melee fighter of the regiment. (Confirmed since he acquired a Broodlords arm.))
- Bile-Lord Cadianite: Started as a grenade launcher wielding Guardsman commanding a small squad. Shot after trying to get Commissar Gaurun to stop flirting with the Felinid Quartermaster, by calling a Sororitas that Gaurun had "relations" with. Turned out to be a acid-spewing winged Daemon of Nurgle.
- Quartermaster Nihaonyan: Female felinid, in charge of the paperwork. Currently in an affair with Comissar Gaurun after her heroic efforts in the battle for the space hulk, using an overcharged plasma pistol to kill the Broodlord. Close friend of Guardsman Ruh
- The helpfull servo skull.: A small little multi tooled servo skull that practicly showed up out of nowhere during the exploration of the Ordo Xenos facility on Cadia. It has been with the penal legion ever since.
- Trooper Kom Nyan: One of the longest rap sheets in the regiment in offences-to-time-since-enlistment. Wears a WW2 Tommy's helmet and names his weapons, especially his heavy stubber, Louise and any others he 'liberates' from 'helpful locals', regardless of if they skirt or outright embrace tech-heresy. Insists his last name is pronounced "Nay-an."
- Techpriest 9: A long-running presence in earlier threads, his lack of speech occasionally caused problems.
- DJ Pete Informal Penances resident DJ. A 10,000 year old Emperors Children Deredeo Dreadnought he mixes the ones and twos better than any man on the ship. He's also trapped in the radio room due to the door way being smaller than he is. Is currently believed to be within the Emperor's light, after having been left behind when the Informal Penance was destroyed.
- Quartermaster 113851920: reassigned to penal regiment /tg/ after he survived 10 battles as a Krieger and thus deemed by the death korps to be unwilling to die for the Emperor. Likes trenches. No one has actually seen him in awhile. If found, please contact Administratum clerk 5507689-3875.412-6BY. We miss him very much.
- Guardsman Ruh: Belonged to the 2nd Praetorian Guard before. Reassigned to the penal regiment after sexually assaulting their mascot (a goat). Sometimes takes care of the Commissar who apparentely saved his life repeatedly on mars. Has not been seen since before the regiment was forced to switch ships. If found, please contact Administratum clerk 5507689-3875.412-6BY. We miss him very much.
- Preacher Vimes Praecentor of Penance who asked to be sent to the assignment on the Spinward Front most in need of help. Deals with the overabundance of xenos and heretics in the regiment by telling himself that the guardsmen are his first concern. And also that he'll make sure they're purged later. Seems to be on drugs of some kind. Has not been seen since before the regiment was forced to switch ships. If found, please contact Administratum clerk 5507689-3875.412-6BY. We miss him very much.
- Ozymandias Buckingham Jr A former (although he think's his stint with the inquisition counts towards the current season) Bloodbowl player. A 2 season player for the Praetorian Predators, he was the star wide receiver. Now minor celebrity he uses a team of Audio/Visual servo skulls to broadcast his live life lessons to nearby dataslates on whatever planet he is on. Confirmed to have the largest Biceps of the unit. Trust us, he's checked everyone's vigorously. Most of us figure his wife Taylor Swifty divorced him a week after the wedding, and he ended up losing all his money. Tell us we're wrong!
- Chief Medical Officer, Lieutenant Jackson Former Medical Officer to the 82nd Helios Special Airborne Division. He served with them for 9 years until he fell for an Eldar Howling Banshee and was forced to choose saving her over completing his mission. Normally this would end in death but he was scooped up by an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor Wolfram Matthias and joined his ranks. There he served for another 9 years. In those years he learned and perfected the art of lies, deception, trickery and hiding in plain sight. He stayed in touch with the surviving Eldar he made friends with and uses them as Inquisitorial contacts. He made good friends with the Inquisitor until the Inquisitor died stopping a demonic incursion. In his dying breaths he told Jackson to continue on with his work and remove heresy with the skills he learned, unknown to him at the time and despite previous protests Jackson was put as heir to the Matthias house and put up to be made an Inquisitor himself. This led him to infiltrate the Penal regiment and get tied up with them. Sort of engaged with Anna, it is difficult to explain. Also, everyone thinks he is up to something, probably because he is.
He totally is. We think he ended up with a desk job, but I'm not entirely sure at this point...
- Chaos Sorceress Amelia.: a former sister of battle from a minor order, or so she claimed. For some reason she was assigned to the penal regiment, but pretended not to remember due to being drunk at the time. Revealed to have spent some "quality time" with Dark Eldar in the past and to be an unsanctioned psyker, gone full heresy after a long series of unfortunate happenings involving Virmanthras and the Exorcists Astartes chapter. Living proof that no one in the regiment knows shit about psychology. Is assumed to have finally been killed, but we're honestly unsure.
- Sister Amelia: the same as the sorceress... or maybe not? Popped up on Beshk just after Amelia was defeated and disappeared in so much warp energy. Was given to an orphanage, and we're honestly hopeing for the best.
- Inquisitor Verasii: Greely and Anna's boss. An admitted Radical (Though her faction remains unknown) and former Commisar, she has thrust the job of leading the regiment on Greely because he is more of a "Do it Yourself" kind of person, and in her mind, an Inquisitor should be able to delegate. Greely has delegated the job of running the regiment to whoever he can get to do it, though he'll re-assert command in a pinch. Will not promote Anna to Throne Agent until her attitude improves. Rumor has it, that she became so sick of dealing with bad news about the regiment, that she has become an Alcoholic, like a certain "Someone"...
- Darasar Belk Dark Eldar Haemonculus with an excitable, almost child-like malevolence and all around sick fuck, likely to be the second banana villain to Virmanthras/Amelia. Wants to lick the latter's brains and drive Inquisitor Verasii out of the Cold Trade. Recently made a deal with Jackson to give him the location of Amelia, as long as she is turned over to Belk alive - or he gets OBJ's autograph. He's nuts about Blood Bowl. With Amelia dead, and Jackson having been missing for quite awhile, we're assuming he no longer has any use for us.
Throne AgentInterrogator (Oliver) Greely Eidetic Arbite seconded to the Inquisition, was sent to assist the regiment as a "learning experience," but it's more likely he got the assignment after managing to piss off a Governor with powerful friends. Formerly known as Detective Greely, was promoted to Throne Agent on Gospyria. Begun hearing the urgings of Malal on Praetoria, but managed to bind the Daemon responsible into an Eldar Spirit Stone using a dodgy ritual of unknown provenance. Received augmentations on Somerius - was totally asking for it. Behavior-wise, he tends to be all over the place and a little bit cracked since binding the Daemon into a stone. Has it out for Depherion, as he's still true in his faith in the Emperor. He recently returned from his furlough with a promotion and a new ship, the "Herald of Imperial Goodwill". He won it in a game of "Skulls, Thrones, and Swords" from the same Imperial Governer he managed to piss off earlier. Still prefers self-reliance and hands-on solutions to his problems, but is trying to delegate more responsibilities. Is thought to have been lost alongside much of the crew of "Herald of Imperial Goodwill", when it was destroyed.
The Gaurun Saga
Named after the commisar that started it all with the name of field kit inspection, the first five threads had Commisar Gaurun leading the penal regiment. Later on, his legacy continued without him in the shape of Penal Regiment Designation: /tg/. Sadly, only the "Field Kit Inspection" threads were archived in suptg, making it hard to recall the events that went after them.
THE CRUSADE BEGINS
Commissar Gaurun has the unfortunate task of presiding over the Penal Legion /tg/, and what begins as an innocuous day of alcoholism and heresy soon devolves into a frightful day of pants thieving genestealers, insanity and a full fledged crusade against a chaos bakery. It starts with unlawfully digged trenches and ensuing blamming, and Lemming explaining his plan of stabbing himself in the shoulder to look wounded and surprise the opponent by actually being wounded. The Vostroyan Liaison, Alexandr arrives and recipes are exchanged for cooking tyranids. Ruh's troubled past is revealed, and Gibbers shows the first signs of his all consuming madness. While bombs are being deployed, guardman Kahl Teest arrives and puts fire to the regiments' stash of pr0n while a genestealer enters the barracks.
THE CRUSADE CONTINUES
Promotion to second lieutenant of guardsman sergeant Joe. The regiment takes on a chaos bakery, after liaison officer Alexandr discovers the author of the porn burning and Kahl Teest is executed. Through the glorious sacrifice of Guardsman Joe who detonates himself in a chimera filled with explosives against the monster and now rides WITH THE EMPEROR TO VALHALLA ALL SHINY AND CHROME, the help of some Tallarn Roughriders commenting the incidents, and general explosive mayhem, a chaos confectionery monster is taken down. Some guardsmen have visions of Joe reaching the Emperor. We finally learn the truth about Gibbers' madness, and why Lemmings was condemned to the penal regiment.
ORK TERRITORY EDITION
Deep into ork territory, the regiment attacks, confused by the presence of captain Notaneldar, gathering sociological data and filing in some paperwork. Gibbers' left arm and hand have now mutated to tentacles. Seargeant KommandoInDisguise joins the regiment and looks and talks totally not like an ork. Gibbers gets abducted by an ork, and following Lemming and his promethium lance, the regiment launches a full attack. Guardsman KommandoInDisguise takes it upon him to become the medic and wreaks havoc. Private Thobsborough tries to get rid of his curse that makes him see everything a few days/ hours in the past but the regiment psyker fucked off after someone used his staff to unclog a toilet.
SORORITAS PROST(R)ATE EXAM EDITION
IBRAM GAUNT IS MY WAIFU EDITION
The Cadian Saga
After the events of the first 5 threads, the coming darkness of un-archiveness fell on the penal regiment, much was lost, but if there's something true in this world is that the emperor protects, and as long as he does the regiment returns.
Cadian Depot Clusterfuckery
Penal Regiment: designation /tg/ was tasked on clearing and then defending a Depot from cat-heretic hands. This saga saw the return of many old times players and the introduction of antagonist players into the fray.
The Lictor Disaster
After securing the depot, the penal regiment was attacked by an evasive, player-controlled, Lictor. The creature escaped through the sewer system after a brief confrontation and the regiment chased it down only to find an almost destroyed Ordo Xenos secret facility.
The Ordo had apparently been experimenting and weaponizing Tyranids from previously defeated hive fleets, destined to be set loose on Cadia should the planet ever fall into the heretics' hands. The creatures were able to self-replicate and it had come apparent the Lictor had escaped containment and killed every Ordo operative inside the facility.
After a fierce Battle, the Lictor was annihilated, and the facility destroyed with every tyranid organism inside.
Deals with the Devil
Still by the depot, Penal Regiment /tg/ was contacted by a psychic mirage that resulted to be the Word Bearer Sorcerer Virmanthras.
Virmanthras promised to clean the chaos infestation of the area in exchange the regiment collected for him a relic of enormous warp power from a rival Thousand Sons temple buried deep underground. After some infighting, Guardsman Ron Laroque seemingly betrayed his colleagues to manage to get close to the sorcerer and assassinate him. Sadly for him, his plan backfired and ended lost somewhere in the warp, where he discovered he was in fact a low-level blank (or pariah). He was later rescued by Nyzart the Finite's (A Necron disguised as Tech Priest undercover in the penal regiment) Necron Monolyth Magicks. Said Monolyth somehow successfully managed to pose as a baneblade before most (but not all) the regiment before being blown up by Gary.
Tropical Resort saga
Warp Shenanigans Airlines
Soon after the Cadia disaster, penal regiment /tg/ was to be relocated to a tropical Tau planet. But no warp travel is safe from warp shenanigans when Gellar fields malfunctions (namely those caused by sabotage by an infiltrating Alpha Legionaire) are involved.
A Daemon invasion later, the ship is in critical state when Virmanthras' Warp Talons rift from the warp into the ship. Killing everyone on the ship's bridge controls. After some carnage and explosions in the bridge, the warp talons are defeated, but Nyzart is sucked into the Warp. Only to find his way into Virmanthras' battlebarge.
Nyzart manages to destroy Virmanthras' ship warp drive, successfully imploding half of the ship inside the warp while the other half crashlands in the tropical planet the penal regiment is landing into.
The regiment arrives to an archipelago at a tropical planet under Tau control. The very first thing they see are two blueberries playing to wrestle their bikinis out in the beach. The regiment obviously murders every single Tau civillian they find and some members even experiment atrocities like poison gas on them.
The Word Bearers battlebarge crashlands into the continent, Many Word Bearers die but Vilus, Virmanthras and Nyzart survive, the last one trying to rendezvous with the regiment.
Did somebody say Tau?
After rescuing the Necron, the regiment fortifies positions as the Word Bearers engage a plan to get off world through a Warp Rift using the Tau forces as a distraction. The penal regiment is soon surrounded by Tau forces and a fierce battle takes place on the numerous beaches of the archipelago, ending with the death of the Tau commander and the incursion of the Word Bearers trying to open the rift. Virmanthras and Vilus successfully make it back to the warp to come back with a new ship at a later date whilst the regiment has fun obliterating the traitors.
Did you say Tomb?
The world happens to be Nyzart's dinasty tomb world, ruled by his Tyrannic Brother Ramothis. After a series of shenanigans in the Necron Catacombs, the tomb world awakes. As the world is about to face EXTERMINATUS By the hands of the Big ][, Virmanthras new ship emerges from the warp, firing all its cannons against the Inquisitorial vessel, forcing it to cancel the Exterminatus for the time being. The inquisitorial ship responds with the whole imperial fleet and the Word Bearers vessel once again crashes against the planet.
It's the Final Showdown of Final Destiny
The regiment drops from the surface on a three way conflict against the Word Bearers and Ramothis' awakened legions. Virmanthras desperately tries to force his ascension through the use of an artifact recovered at Cadia and Ramothis comes battle ready to kick some ass with Gauss guns... and pincers, no really, Ramothis' necron shell was hardly humanoid. Things get south for the regiment at the start, but they soon recover and begin kiccking Xeno and Heretic ass, Vilus is revealed to be a Callidus in front of everyone, making her move to kill the sorcerer and Nyzart duels Ramothis in "XENO MAGICKS" for control over the tombworld. Virmanthras dies before completing the ascension and Nyzart becomes an Overlord after defeating his brother.
Good to see the lower decks are secure
The regiment disembarks into the inquisitorial ship in orbit, Nyzart comes along to try and make an alliance between the Imperium of man and his tomb world. In the end he is granted the title of Xeno Ambassador and decides to travel along the penal regiment a little longer. Shenanigans occur, specially regarding the eversor Omicron XXIII-K-IV getting free and spreading some carnage and then the ship gets infested by (and later cleaned from) Genestealers.
Long Range Desert Patrol Group
The regiment drops into the desert to beat the crap out of the Tau remnants on the planet. After a surprisingly easy battle against the best the Tau had to offer, the regiment reclaims Bastion. An imperial command centre that had fallen to Tau hands previously in the planetary conflict.
There they relax, drink and celebrate their victory the only way the regiment knows: Getting wasted.
The regiment girls (which can be counted with the fingers of a single hand) have a private party for herselves whilst the boys go wild. Hank is suggested to go to see Alice and proppose her, the aftermath of which results in Hank almost burning himself alive. Alice drops a few comments and it is revealed she's into girls, and into Amelia, to be more specific. Amelia rushes off the room to not be seen again until next morning. LIX stays unsure about if she'd want to go in a relation with Alice or not.
Gary gets mad at Alice because Hank accidentaly almost kills himself because of her rejection and Hank looses the beans.
The night ends oddly, with the regiment awaiting to go make some Orks in a Space Hulk get their asses handed at them the next morning.
Space Hulk 'Break-Fast'
1st Company heads over to the Ork invested space hulk 'Break-Fast' and are met with stiff resistance in the hanger bay where Kaptin Crunhks attempts to open the air locks and suck them out. Omi rides Saharduin in his centurion armour through the bridge of the ship for a dynamic entry from a thunder hawk and proceeds to stop the air locks but also turns off the artificial gravity. Amelia puts on a buzzing show for Alice, Jackson and LIX which was followed by the swift application of heavy sedatives and hushed tones. Kaptin Crunhks's first mates the grots Snhap, Crhackle and Pohp put up a fiece resistances against Thallax, Dolan and Nyzart succeeding in destroying one of Nyzarts bodies with a power dagger. Thallax and Dolan continue to fight Kaptin Crunhks himself where they are joined by Omi and Saharduin. Thallax successfully gets Crunhks into a choke hold but fails to crush his neck. Saharduin however grabs the orks feet and the two giants pull the ork in two. 1st Company returned to a base on the planet below for some engineering a chill.
Mr. BONES Heresy Ride
After going back to the back no one gets to chill, what with Amelia being an unsanctioned psyker and ex dark eldar prisoner and the Callidus getting drunk and telling Alice how much she loves her. Alice gets mildly mind controlled by Amelia and runs away to avoid killing her comrades alogside LIX, while Gary calls in a favor with, of all people, the Exorcists, who get into an argument with, unsurpringly, Nyzart. Things go down pretty quickly and in the end Amelia manages to reach the heresy box, although Elena the Navigator leaves her a set of nice traumas to remember the day, and warps away with the spirit of the most mustache twirling Word Bearer ever in tow, leaving some minor daemons behind as a parting gift. Sven loses his tank and cries at Jackson, Hank loses his temper and yells at Alice, LIX nearly loses her lover and cries about it , Alice loses her friend but seems cold about the fact- still yells at people, though-, people yell at each other and the regiment gains a new sanctioned psyker which is a bitch of Emperor’s Battle Titan proportions and butts heads with Jackson and Greely all the time. The only one who manages to be cool all the time is the Eversor, of all people. In the aftermath, Arthur leaves command to Jackson while going to the Exorcists ship and giving them his platoon's colors, hoping they will bring them back to Praetoria. Greely finds some sort of suspiciously phallic Dark Eldar torture implement, and after being found and ordered to go back to the base, Alice spills the beans without even blinking when asked about Amelia's past. Verasii is contacted, orders are given, and everyone gets ready for the Wild Ride.
A Praetorian Sanguinalia
Arrival on Emperor's Day
The Regiment, thanks to their Exorcist escorts, arrive over Praetoria safely for once, and swiftly head down to the surface. Omicron, as is his nature, almost immediately worries everyone by arriving outside a shop in a suspicious crate, bursting free and assaulting(But somehow not killing) several civilians to be first in queue for Emperor's Day presents. After this 'incident', the important members of our band of unlikely Heroes head for the Wellesley family estate, being saved from a Heretic along the way thanks to Eta XXXII, a Vindicare with a love of alcohol.
After arriving at their temporary lodgings, several of those invited there decided to take advantage of the safety and comfort of their new surroundings....and 'get to know one another', while the Wellesley siblings head up to the Manor it's self to reunite with their father, along with Omicron alternating enjoying his gifts and tormenting the servants with them. While all of this was happening, Lieutenant Jackson attempted to con the Praetorian Guard out of some supplies, which went about as well as one would expect, ending with himself, along with Rax, Elena and Ruh being detained and confined to Barracks for the rest of the day.
The Night Presses On
With night fast approaching, the Platoon gather for an Emperor's Day meal, along with Chaplain Amorth and his squad, all semblances of normality soon interrupted by Omicron running off with a whole roast and a disguised Dolan acting much too civil....and then running off with stolen valuables and alcohol, which were swiftly recovered by Major Lawzom and Throne Agent Greely, along with Dolan and his newly detached legs.
A New Day and New Problems
Early on the morning, still by night time, Dolan is terminated for trying to escape confinement, the regiment executes a series of misfits to keep order and make an example. The morning progresses with chaplain Amorth doing the sermon by the chapel he had been prepparing all this time. Omicron leaves with a group of rogue traders and the first platoon ascends to inquisitorial service. Alice becomes Interrogator, Jackson becomes Inquisitor (and apparently inherits the title of noble too) and Gary stays behind to train as inquisitorial stormtrooper. Anna uses her psy powers to detect Amelia on Somerius and the regiment embarks back into the Informal Penance to travel there.
Somerius Conflict Saga
The arrival to Somerius just happens to be as clusterfucked as predicted, the planet's on full revolt, the PDF is compromised and the civillian population is filled with mutants, heretics and cultists. The Planetary Guns force the Informal Penance to unleash the dropships and retreat until dealt with. The regiment fights it's way towards Watcher's Point, the last fully Imperial city of Somerius.
There they fend off onslaughts of daemons, heretics and warmachines whilst uncovering the dark mysteries of the city's saint and guardian, the Watcher. His identity and his fate soon become obvious to those familliar with a certain Eversor.
Meanwhile, the Adeptus Arbites attempts to evacuate civillians from multiple Urban Areas through the subway system before Defilers get in the way of their plans, trapping multiple civillians in the underground.
Tempestus Scions Battlegroup Vympel of Ordo Malleus Inquisitor Zakharius lands and begins purging the heresy both on the battlefield and on any civillian they find. The situation becomes very mesy with many members of the regiment uneasy at the Stormtroopers actions, some even doing a futile revolt against them. The regiment splits off some going to the underground system trying to rescue any surviving civillians and evacuate them off-world rather than handing them to the Ordo Malleus.
On the meantime in the fortress of the forces of chaos in the planet, Amelia, Arnathrax (Daemon Prince captured in Amelia's new staff) and Virmanthras' Ghost preppare for the battle and spread propaganda of the actions of the Ordo Malleus to add more Somerians to their cause whilst a force of Iron Warriors lands on the planet to get their revenge on a certain Callidus Assassin.
Meanwhile, in Commoragh, Nyzart spends some quality time with Belk, a a Dark Eldar Haemonculi and strong contender for the cherished title of "most sick of all sick fucks." Belk manages to frame up Nyzart for destroying Verasii's inside source in Commoragh, but trades the evidence to Nyzart in exchange for Amelia's current location.
DIY SOS with Ozymandias Buckingham Jr III filmed live on Somerius
>OBJ opens the door to the Suarezs family's new home "So Suarez family how you feeling about your new makeover? Excited?" >OBJ flexes at the camera as he looks back behind him. >Some Scions are carrying some charred corpses through the door after him. One moves the mouths of the medium sized body and puts on a Spanish accent. "Si Sr Buckinham, we mucho excited". >OBJ leads them into the new living room complete with new TV, fire place and white carpets "As you can see, we put allot of work in here so you'd have a nice family enviroment to relax and...." >The small bodies arm falls off and a Scion kicks it across the carpet into the fire place. >The Servo Skull Cameras capture all of this. >The Scion drops the small body on one of the new leather seats. "I see you've come over tired Pablo" >A scion moves his head foward "Si Sr". >OBJ mutters under his breath "This is fucking ridiculous" >Gestures to the two larger bodies to go upstairs "Well let's check out the up stairs, How was your spa weekend Mr and Mrs Suarez?" <Commerical Break for Las Guns> >The ex Bloodbowl player still wearing a Bloodletter head Loin cloth/Toolbelt and the two charred corpses being carried by Scions make their way into the pure white bedroom. "Hey welcome back to DIY SOS with me Ozymandias Buckingham Jr, we've been helping out the Suarez family this week who have been.......I'm not fucking reading that.....what fine.......who...have....been...burning....the...candle...at....both...ends.." >He looks at the two burnt bodies leaving a black trail round the all white room. "In this room we wanted to bring a real purity to it by using a all white..." >Looks at the black ash stained patchs on the carpet "interior" >He stops talking as he watches Mrs Suarez's face literally fall off. The scion who's carrying her panics and chucks her body on the all white bed leaving a black patch and kicks ash up into the air as her body crumbles a little. >The sick bastard carrying Mr Suarez comments in a poor heavily Russian Spanish accent "She really has to take her face off before bed" >OBJ gives him a look of pure hate sighs and leans over to the scion sergeant acting as the producer "Kill him afterwards". >The group leave the room and start making their way down stairs. <Commercial for fancy shoes> >OBJ and 'Mr Suarez' both make their way back downstairs and ignore the scions using Pablo's body as fuel on the fire to heat up ration packs "Like the bedroom a heavily white theme is carried on here, really bringing the house together. Allot of work went on here as the kitchen is often see as the heart of the ho..." >Mr Suarez cough's back to life "Fuck me" >OBJ managed to spurt out as the Scions shouts over him. "tchyo za ga`lima?" >as he beats the once dead man back to death >OBJ ever the professional quickly kicks the body under the table as he looks back at the camera. "As you can The Suarez's Loved their new home and will be happy in it for the foreseeable future. >Still on camera he starts making his way towards the front door ignoring the Pablo picnic going on in the front room "You can see how living in the home changes their lives when we catch up with the family in next week's episode." >A camera servo skull flys up high to get a angle with fits the whole house, construction crew and OBJ in shot. It also shows a few mass graves and a burning town. >The crowd all make a O sign to the camera and shout "D-I-Y S-O-S!" >The camera cut and fade to the closing titles. >OBJ looks at the crew "I'm never doing one of them again. How the FUCK are we doing next week?!?!?! Catch up with the Suarezs and see how they like the house? They're FUCKING dead burnt and beat corpses!!!..............Oh what? You can do that?.... Ok, CGI freaking rocks"
A dying world
As the battles rage on it becomes obvious the regiment won't hold the line against the heretic forces for too long. Unable to move forward and attack the fortress of ice the heretics are using as HQ, Watcher's Point becomes victim of multiple attacks to the point it is literally sinked underground by the explosions caused by multiple bombs placed in the subway system.
In the end, the world becomes a victim of an Exterminatus by Malleus decree, the regiment evacuates with Omicron's body to set a funeral on another planet at a later date as the place starts to spawn more and more daemons and traitors by the minute, Virmanthras and Amelia disappear through a warp rift mounting a Heldrake to fight another day and OBJ marries minutes before the Exterminatus with Taylor Schwifty, singer superstar and later disappears into whats suppossed a honeymoon travel. The Informal Penance is attacked by Emperor's Children vessels, the Emperor's Children board the Penance and destroy the warp drive. With the help of a certain Necron dinasty ships, the regiment survives and is towered to Gospyria.
The Somerian saga ends in Gospyria, where a funeral is set for Omicron in which the small and reduced group of Somerian Citizens reunite to pay their respects along the regiment.
With the regiment on his planet, Nyzart offers Alice a favour for a "favour", promising to hand an STC in return. He asks of Alice to take down a, supposed rival, Necron Dynasty's Operations before they're set into motion. Said operations involve attacking an Imperial Hive World, so the Regiment, with Verasii convinced of the authenticity of the Operation by 'found' Intelligence, clearly accepts the offer.
A death in the Family
During their travel through space, everyone's favourite Ogryn, Wada, suffers death by
Khornate possession, he had to get "krumped" by his best Friend Bob Hueman in a heartaking battle old age. Depherion builds a series of Chaos Androids and is found out whilst revealing Jackson's hidden labs to the public eye, the bastard proves resistant and hard to catch, having more resources than anyone would expect and Amelia abducts Anna. Later on they discover she's gone to Beshk, LIX's homeworld of scum and villany (Think of a Grimdark version of Mos Esley, only that it's a hive city). The Regiment sails off towards Beshk, knowing that an inquisitorial or an Imperial troop craft would cause panic in such an heretical and corrupt planet, The regiment decides to infiltrate rather than disembark, posing as gangsters or as a rogue trader's retinue. After landing it becomes apparent how much is the planet lost, there's confirmed Slaaneshi cultists, the Governor's family uses Tau pulse weaponry and power armors as well as adapted Tau equipment to look more gothic, the Arbites are nothing more than enforcers for one of the triumvirate of families that rule the planet and each ruling house seems to be having somekind of shadowy business beside their legal activities...
Once at Beshk it becomes apparent that Amelia is on the planet, she's made some prepparatives around that have unnverved the noble houses whilst successfully keeping her in the shadows. People (Read: Cultists) begin exploding around the city for no apparent reason. Riots are increasing on the planet and the general feel that something fishy is going on becomes obvious when the regiment is attacked by Cultists. Managing to capture and interrogate one, the regiment can easily confirm all of this is somekind of sick ritual planned by the regiment's
Favourite Hunted sorceress. On the mean time the regiment investigates not only the area, but also the locals and their nobility.
Sadly when things start to piece together for the reg it's already too late, it is discovered that these sacrifices are drawing a one big sick ritual circle covering the entire city, centered around an abandoned church. The regiment makes it's way past waves upon waves of ever emerging cultists to try to reach for Amelia.
On the meantime, inside that very church, Arnathrax, the daemon closed in Amelia's staff makes his move to try to take the ritual away from her for his own profit. It all goes as planned... sort of. Arnathrax is fred, but Amelia once more proves stronger than the daemon by recovering the ritual and using it to half-ascend herself to Daemonhood. The two hulking abominations fight each other inside the corrupted church's grounds, but the battle is interrupted with the arrival of the regiment.
After some glorious fighting in the name of the emprah and some (
generaly really poor Increidibly nice featuring a Ratling resisting mind control AND glorious charges in the name of mankind) dice rolls by the regiment's part, the daemon-sorceress starts loosing ground and is finally defeated in combat. The regiment rests victorious, but resting won't last. Actions have consequences and this ritual just affected a whole hive-city, besides, something is still fishy with those Noble Houses...
Soon after defeating the Sorceress in combat, it becomes clear that the Houses of Beshk are into fishy bussiness, and not just refferring to illegal activities, all the meanwhile the world goes into a rioting mass of angry mobs in every street caused by the ritual's aftermath. The governor's house, House Tynnus is aligned with Tau forces (albeit the regiment lets this pass for the time being given they're not actively a pest), House Vandarr is running a cult dedicated to Slaanesh, and there's just something off with House Kent. Seeing the Slaaneshi lovers as the major threat, the regiment storms the place. Only to find it already under siege by a third unidentified faction, a genestealer cult...
The Titanfall Saga
Genes for the Jean God
With the events of Beshk long behind them; having been wrapped up neatly, and filed away under "Fuck up". The regiment is soon sent off to the Hive world of Tranch, with orders to quell the planets rebelling mutant population. Unfortunately, like a bad hangover the next morning, the actions and choices previously made by a single (and now former) member of the regiment, comes back to bite everyone else in the ass. And it is soon discovered that keeping a Broodlord locked away in your room as a pet without having somebody come to occasionally feed it while on holidays, is usually a very bad idea.
Chaos ensues, and it is soon discovered that a large portion of the regiment sent down to Tranchs surface, had been infected by Genestealers. With only a fraction of its strength still on-board the now quarantined ship. A team is quickly assembled to wipe out the source of the infestation. Further chaos ensues, and a large portion of the ship is destroyed via a low-yeild, makeshift nuclear device. But in the end, the cause of the infestation is removed, and the quarantine is soon lifted. Only for everyone to quickly remember that the ships ventilation systems are still FILLED with Tyranids. The ship is quickly ordered to be destroyed, and the uninfected survivors are quickly forced to find their own means of escape or risk being left behind when the ships self-destruct goes off.
Dirty Inquisitorial secrets are discovered, and a certain servant of Malal's plans are once again ruined, but most of the ships remaining crew members manage to find a way off, and unto the regiments new ship. The Punisher class strike cruiser; The Herald of Imperial Goodwill, before once again being sent directly into the mutant filled fray upon Tranch.
With no chance to become accommodated to their massive new home, the members of Penal Regiment Theta Gamma, are soon shipped off to the planet below. With orders to cleanse both the Mutants, as well as any infected personel who might still be alive.
Friends and regimental comrades are lost, and the forces of Chaos soon attempt to intervene in very minor ways. But the job is soon finished, and the regiment is once again given another gold star on their report cards by the Inqustion. Unfortunately for them, any chance at a burial detail for their lost comrades, is still a long ways away.
Anarchy Reigns Supreme
With Tranch now back in the hands of the Imperium, and the Tyranid menace having been dealt with. The surviving men and woman of Inquisitorial Penal Regiment: Theta Gamma, return to their new ship The Herald of Imperial Goodwill, (A ship that a certain recently promoted Inquisitor had won in a game of chance against the Governor that had sent him here in the first place), for a chance to recoup after their recent battles. With hilarity ensuing upon their arrival. After a member of the regiment is accidentally mistaken for dead and is "felt-up" by one of his female subordinates. All in an effort to save him, mind you.
Things are soon sorted out between the two soldiers, and the regiment manages to once again return to some semblance of normality. But Chaos and it's powers of warp fuckery are never far behind to ruin a good day, as it is soon discovered that a section of the Informal Penance had managed to enter the warp, and crash land upon the jungle/tomb world of Nyzart the Infinite. Causing the undermanned ship and it's crew to immediately be sent to investigate.
Upon exiting the warp above the planet Gospyria, a mutiny soon breaks out across the ship. Courtesy of the whisperings of Malal and one of his Warpsmiths, Depherion. Who had, through uncertain means, managed to escape the destruction of the Informal Penance, alongside his Ork bodyguard, the Xplo'deh Ork Warboss Micheal B'Ork. The two having stowed away aboard the Herald during the events of Tranch.
With enemies surrounding them on all sides, the remaining loyalists aboard the Herald are forced into a desperate fight for their very lives and souls, against the dark whisperings of the God of Anarchy, and his latest followers shitty (and cliché) taste in music. Leaving the regiment unable to stop Depherion and B'Ork from escaping to the jungles of the Tomb world below. The mismatched pair soon followed by survivors of the mutinous forces.
With the regiment's greatest foe to date now hidden somewhere on the planet below. The highly undermanned regiment quickly follows suit, with high hopes of stopping the warpsmith before anymore of his plans can come to fruition.
Things once again don't pan out in the regiments favor, as it is quickly discovered that the reason Depherion had been traveling with the regiment for so long, was to collect the necessary componants to repair a long forgotten, and badly damaged Warhound Titan! Which quickly proceeds to fire a massively overcharged, Two-Barrelled Turbo-Laser Destructor at the Imperial fleet above.
Now normally, such a thing wouldn't be a problem for the Imperial navy. But due to the cannon being charged by a massive warpstone, the shot manages to instantly tear through one of the fleets larger vessels in the span of seconds. Leaving it a floating pile of warp infused scrap above the planet.
This revelation throws the local Imperial command structure into utter chaos, and no one is sure what to do at this point, with the fleet unable to locate the source of the shot. As such, the regiments assault force is ordered to pull back, after much of the assault force was caught by the energy blast, and subsequently wiped out before they could reach the planets atmosphere.
Operation Titanfall, Part 1
With local Imperial command knowing that the Sons of Malice Warpsmith cannont be allowed access to what is assumed to be fully functioning Warhound Titan. A plan is quickly enacted by the fleets Inquisitorial lords to deploy a massive ground assault force against the entrenched traitors, in an effort to deactivate whatever it is that's blocking the ships scanners from targeting the Titan.
The Operation, Codenamed "Titanfall", commences. With an assault force of comprised of more than six full regiments being scrapped together from local sources, being sent to establish a beachhead near the Titan, with the men and woman of Penal Regiment Theta Gamma spearheading the assault.
Once again however, the Imperial forces underestimate just how much planning on the part of Chaos has gone into resurrecting the Titan. And it is soon discovered that not only is there a functioning Titan upon the planet's surface, But at least three full companies of the renegade Space Marine chapter, the Sons of Malice, are also on world. Turning what should have been a cakewalk landing, into hell on earth. As Sons of Malice air support begins decimating the assault forces dropships. Causing massive casualties, and scattering most of the surviving Imperial forces across a large area. Where upon, hunter-kill teams are sent to eliminate the surviving Imperial assault force, one crashed dropship at a time.
Operation Titanfall, part 2
By the God Emperor's grace, and the assistance of the Necron Nyzart the Infinite. A handfull of the assault force manages to both survive the crash, and make their way to the original landing area, codenamed "Forward Operating Base Octavia".
With no remaining command structure left, and their communications constantly being blocked by the same devices that are blocking the scanners of the orbiting fleet. The men and woman of Theta Gamma are now offically on their own. With barely two full companies worth of men at their side, and the legions of chaos continually knocking at their front door. Things have never before looked bleaker for the regiment's future...
Operation Titanfall, Part 3
With the fate of dozens of Imperial worlds hanging in the balance, a cunning, yet suicidal plan is quickly developed by Sergeant turned Lieutenant, Malak Ordenius for the regiment's third company to simultaneously destroy the support pillars of the local Necron catacombs using several interconnected improvised explosives. A plan which, in theory, will cause the ground to collapse and bury not only the Titan, but everything within a thirty mile radius under several millions of tons of rock. The only problem with the plan... is that the disruption towers are preventing the signals from reaching that far underground all at once. The only way to circumvent this issue. Is to activate the bombs while underneath one of the towers. The worst part about this plan... is that the closest one is underneath the Titan.
With nothing to lose, and everything to gain, a full frontal assault upon the Titan is sent underway, with a combination of the Imperium's remaining forces, and all of Nyzart's available forces, charging towards the Titan.
The loses are heavy, and many friends are left injured, but eventually, the bombs are set off, and Nyzart's forces teleport the regiment to a nearby mountain to watch another of Malal's schemes go into the shitter, as over three-hundred members of the Sons of Malice are sent falling to their deaths. Crushed under millions of tons of rubble, and billions of gallons of ocean water. But not everything goes according to plan, with the Warpsmith known as Depherion, and his Ork bodyguard, having decided to destroy the regiment's new ship via a suicide attack. Only for the duos plans to be fooled by that of an intelligent Inquisitor by the name of Greely, causing the duo to go crash landing back to the jungle world below, where upon, Depherion diez in an Academy award winning, and heartfelt scene, in the arms of his bodyguard, B'Ork.
However, the battle for Gospyria is not yet over. As it is soon discovered that the sole purpose for the Sons of Malice stop upon Gospyria, was in preparation for the reawakening of a Greater Daemon of Nurgle, that had been sealed away upon the planet several millennium before. With next to nothing left of there forces, the regiment and it's allies prepare for a last stand against the coming darkness. Only for reinforcements in the shape of an Inquisitorial fleet, and that of a rogue trader to arrive and vanquish the Daemon back to the Warp.
With their job finally finished. The regiment makes it way back to the fleet above to nurse it's wounds, to bury and honour the dead.
The Chronicle's of B'Ork
Beach side Shenanigans
After having sustained having losses during it recent battles, and the accompanying battle fleet needing immense repairs (especially it's TP dispenser program). The regiment is given a week of shore leave upon the tropical world of Alshaeri, located in Segmentum Solar. It is here that the regiment is able to sit by the beach and relax, after it's many months of hard won fighting... for all of about five minutes, as a group of space marines from a random space hulk in orbit is quick to arrive and ruin the day with their shenanigans.
A week after the affair with the "Pathetic Marines" had past, and with regiment's battlegroup now fully repaired; Our band of misfits is once again sent into the breach, in an effort to deal with a massive Ork 'WAAAAAAAAAGH!' upon the jungle world of Yndris Prime, lead by the infamous, and self proclaimed "X'plo'deh Ork" Warboss, Micheal B'Ork.
The lost and the damned
Also known as the archives that have actually been archived.
Suptg contains the very first threads, those with Commisar Gaurun making his Field Kit Inspections: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=penal+regiment
Whilst Archive4plebs contains other (previously believed lost) and the most recent threads: http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Penal%20Regiment/ .
The Penal Regiment Codex
Special rules for that special occasion when you want to add a bit of additional FUN (read as "Stupidity) to your 40k table top experience, and want something I a little more fun, than using the Angry Marine codex.
|Nyzart the Finite:||6||5||4||4||3||5||4||10||2+/4++|
Wargear: Staff of Light.