Commissar Lord Bernn

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For when you want to wipe the fuckers off the map.
Exhibit A.

"You die on MY command, not before!"

– LORD Commissar Bernn while reviving lord general Castor himself

There is always that one character that is the quiet one. Not that he never talks, but he does so very rarely (never in cutscenes) and the few lines he has are absolute manly.

Commissar LORD Bernn accompanied Adrastia, Castor and Merrick during the events of Retribution, and surprisingly, stayed mostly quiet throughout the whole matter. Even though the crazy motherfucker faced a Land Raider, an Avatar of Khaine and a DAEMON PRINCE, he still kept his god damned cool.

Why? Because he talks only when he's with the troops (as it's part of his job, and not doing it correctly would be heresy). No, seriously, he thinks that if he talks at all, it'll draw too much attention to him and then to his scarred face. Poor ol' Bernn lost some of his...features, throughout the countless battles he's been in and he's always been quite self conscious about it. However, he only cares if other commanders see his face, get him on the field with regular guardsmen, and he'll let loose manly lines to inspire his soldiers like no tomorrow. He throws out far more inspiring quotes than any Commissar should, like the epic "Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!", sure to get any Chimera driver pumped up for what will undoubtedly be a one sided slaughter. If you ever want a Commissar by your side, you'll want Commissar LORD Bernn.

Also, don't expect him to scratch an Eldar's ears. Bernn *BLAM* Commissar LORD Bernn will just punch the foul xenos in the fucking face.

With a power fist.

Quotes[edit]

  • "If this one must die to push the rest of you, SO BE IT! *BLAM*"
  • "I haven't given you leave to die, you coward, ON YOUR FEET!" *Said when reviving commanders* (Yes, he can insult inspire a SM Captain back to life)
  • "Your wounds mean nothing! STAND!" Said to Ollanius Pius after Horus completely obliterated him, Pius got back up five seconds later.
  • Harder, better, faster, stronger "Faster, Harder, MEANER, Better!"
  • "This is your last stand, NO doubt, NO fear!"
  • *Equipping a powerfist* "Not as striking as Yarrick's claw, but it will suffice."
  • "Follow my example or I will make you one."
  • "What task requires more that sword or blade? The better to be seen."
  • "Do I have to die to prove my faith and fearlessness to you lot?"
  • "I trained for this day."
  • "DON'T FEAR IT, JUST GET CLEAR!"
  • "No fear, only victory!"
  • "Their corpses will pave our way to victory!"
  • "Their Farseer is mine!"
  • "Chaos Lord, you're mine!"
  • DON'T READ IT, JUST CLICK HERE!
  • DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD!

In-game[edit]

Unlike other commissars, who can only motivate their men to fire a bit faster or keep up morale by popping a head, Bernn *BLAM* Commissar LORD Bernn can make them invincible, faster-moving, able to hit like a truck full of trucks, and have this benefit apply to everyone on the screen. Oh and when fully upgraded the ability lasts longer than its cooldown time. This ability makes him the strongest hero in Retribution's campaign. The cheese is of such magnificence, that the grind of all grinds that is the last mission in Retribution can be done in 11 minutes as your regulation force of invulnerable super fast and rapid firing Catachans and melta Stormies rush through the mission in a tide of blood and exploding bodies so massive that Khorne gets exited down under. And you can do it for the price of between 10-20 guardsmen, all righteously executed by Bernn. Kyras as a daemon decided after watching Bernn slaughter his forces while killing more of his own than the enemy could, to give up this daemon thing because he'll never be that Khornate.

Or he can choose to lead through example, Yarrick style, through special moves, balls of steel and sheer Stubbornness: allies are healed when he is hurt and they refuse to die by just being near his relic powerfist.

In fact, with the right wargear and surrounded by guardsmen, he can revive himself due to not wanting to give a bad example by dying just like that. Awesome.

He can only equip/upgrade his melee weapons, and in fact he's the only unaugmented human that uses a Power Fist in the game. If you want to punch Daemon prince Kyras in the face, he is your man.

He can´t upgrade his laspistol, but not that it matters, since it's already able to one-shot terminators, so it's probably somewhere around Strength D, AP 1.

Also it should be noted that if you execute a guardsman or other infantry unit, you get the resources to reinforce them again. Pair this with Castor's ability to reinforce squads for free, and you have unlimited resources to drown the enemy in men.

Trivia[edit]

  • You can't just write Commissar Bernn. "LORD" must be in all caps before it, or else it's heres-YOU DIDN'T WRITE IT AT THE BEGINNING, *BLAM!* HERESY!!!. i.e., even angrier than Holt *SLAP* COMMISSAR Holt!
  • He is voiced by Keith Ferguson. Yep, the same one as Ronahn, plague marines and many orks. Heresy.
  • He, like Adrastia and most high command, wears a badass greatcoat with a hat. Lord General Castor had to be given a DLC hat to not be left out. Meanwhile, Merrick wears his regulation bald head, Vendoland pattern.
  • His cosplay DLC is a Krieger Gas mask. Which is a headwear that he wears under his other hat. So, technically, double hat! With epaulettes, which may in fact make him as important as the Emperor.
  • He has trained for that day.
  • Yarrick's Bale Eye can kill a marine, but Bernn's can bring artillery stri-*BLAM!* Commissar! *BLAM!* LORD *BLAM!* Bernn!
Famous members of the Imperial Guard
Commissars: Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt - Commissar Anton Gebbet
Commissar Ciaphas Cain - Commissar Holt - Commissar Severina Raine - Commissar Yarrick
Senior Officers: Colonel Greiss - Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken - Knight Commander Pask
Lieutenant-Colonel Mikail Leonid - Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed
Lord Solar Macharius
Junior Officers: Captain Al'Rahem - Commander Kubrik Chenkov
Enlisted Guardsmen: Arden - Colour Sergeant Jarran Kell - Gunner Ferik Jurgen
Mogul Kamir - Nork Deddog - Ollanius Pius - Sergeant Harker
Sergeant Lukas Bastonne - Sly Marbo
From Dawn of War I: Colonel Carus Brom - General Sturnn
Vance Motherfucking Stubbs - Governor-Militant Lukas Alexander
From Dawn of War II: Commissar Lord Bernn - Lord General Castor - Sergeant Merrick