Commissar Yarrick

From 1d4chan
Jump to: navigation, search

The Man, The Myth, The Legend[edit]

REAL Hero of The Imperium

Sebastian Yarrick is one of the most badass commissars ever to threaten inspire the Imperial Guard.

Like most Commissars, he grew up in the Schola Progenium. However, at that time he was on track to become an Imperial Guard Stormtrooper. He served in this role for several years after graduation, but eventually transferred to the Commissariat. He apprenticed under the respectable Lord Commissar Rasp, becoming a full Commissar and having a long and distinguished career before retiring to Armageddon.

He became an Imperium-wide household name there, coming out of retirement to kick the teeth out of Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka's WAAAAAGH. Ghazghkull thinks he's the bestest humie evar. He also has a laser eye, ala Superman, and an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw.

Are we gonna talk about how he wields a storm bolter one-handed when the only ones who can do that are superhumans clad in Terminator armor? Hell no. Why? Because EXBOXHUEG Powerklaw, that's why.

He got his fuckhuge powerklaw from an equally fuckhuge Ork who wanted Yarrick to bend over while something horrible was done to said commissar, but Yarrick proceeded to say "FUCK YOU FILTHY XENO SCUM!!!" and kicked the Ork in the teeth with his Commissar-legs. He also had his arm chopped off in that fight but no one really cares because he stole the Ork's arm with a free fuckhuge power klaw attached. He then gave himself the satisfaction of passing out LIKE A BOSS!!

The man is not only legend among men, but Orks as well; should Yarrick manage to finally kill Ghazgkhull, its only a matter of time before Orks start worshiping him, or at least naming him Gork and Mork's favored, and da baddest Warboss ever. Considering he can actually use his powerklaw and Ork arm functionally means they consider him, at the very least, to be quite downright Orky and all. And as we all know, what Orks believe, becomes true. He also speaks Ork. Yeah. It's not that hard. I mean, it's mostly just angry howls with the odd blow to the head for emphasis. It should no doubt be mentioned that since Ork teck is faith powered, this makes Yarrick the ULTIMATE believer, in his own abilities no doubt. Well, belief is belief after all.

They say eye for an eye makes you blind, I say it makes you shoot death lasers out of your eye.

Yarrick got his laser eye when he heard that the Orks thought he had the gaze of death, and could kill an ork with a look. Yarrick decided that if the orks thought he could kill with a look, then he was damn well going to be able to. Once again, what Orks believe, becomes true.

He also never dies, because of Iron Will DYING IS FOR PUSSIES AND HERETICS!!! It doesn't hurt that the Orks believe he can't die, so he really can't.

He is an absolute monster of a combatant and can easily hand virtually any Spehss Mehreen his ass on a ceramite platter in combat (unless they have an invulnerable save....seriously the stats for Old man Yarrick are bullshit). Not even genetic enhancements and power armor are a match for an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw and fucking Superman-style laser vision when paired with the standard issue balls of steel that every person in the Imperial Guard comes with. He even fucking made a Spehss Mehreen shut up with a single stare at him for yelling during Yarrick's speech in Armageddon third war.

Yarrick is currently chasing after Ghazghkull along with High Marshall Helbrecht at the head of a Black Templar crusade in the most amazing road trip ever.

He also has HIS OWN PERSONAL BANEBLADE called the Fortress of Arrogance, however it can only be taken in apoc.

7th edition made Yarrick.....strange. He lost his fearless, though it got replace by a warlord trait, and he gained summary execution despite the fact that his presence on the battlefield caused no soldier to run away. So yeah, unless Yarrick is in charge, Yarrick would rather run away than lead with example and fight. WTF GW....WTF. Though, given all other HQs, except Lord Comissar have lower Ld than him, he WOULD be your Warlord, unless taken in an allied detachment.

Commissar Yarrick's morning routine[edit]

I: Get outta bed made of dead Orks.

II: Brush teeth with Ork blood.

III: Make Tea with a splash of Urine from all the Orks that pissed themselves.

IV: Put on medal-covered uniform.

V:Think about killing Orks on the way to work.

VI: Kill Orks.

Possible Tzeentch Meddling[edit]

In the book Imperial Creed, we get a possible explanation as to why Yarrick can not fall. During his first deployment as a commissar, Yarrick had to deal with a chaos cult. Specifically a Tzeentch one. At the end of the conflict, Yarrick is grabbed by a daemon. Although Yarrick held his faith and broke free, one has to wonder if this event changed Yarrick. Maybe, maybe not. Then again, Tzeentch is a dick.

Further evidence of Tzeentchian meddling is brought to light during the concluding chapter of Pyres of Armageddon; as Yarrick fights the Ork Warboss Ugulhard, he feels the presence of the demon that he had fought on Mistral having some influence over the chain of events that led to Yarrick's defence of Hades Hive. What this daemon has planned for Yarrick has yet to be seen, although it's probably going to involve fighting Ghazghkull. Spooky stuff, eh?



External Links[edit]

Early Miniature? (Definitely is, It's included in 2nd Ed rulebook with the caption Commissar Yarrick)

Famous members of the Imperial Guard
Commanders: Captain Al'Rahem - Colonel Greiss - Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken
Commander Kubrik Chenkov - Knight Commander Pask
Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed - Lord Solar Macharius
Commissars: Commissar Ciaphas Cain - Commissar Holt
Commissar Yarrick - Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt
Guardsmen: Colour Sergeant Jarran Kell - Gunner Ferik Jurgen
Mogul Kamir - Nork Deddog - Ollanius Pius
Sergeant Harker - Sergeant Lukas Bastonne - Sly Marbo
From Dawn of War I: General Sturnn - General Vance Stubbs
Governor-Militant Lukas Alexander
From Dawn of War II: Commissar Lord Bernn - Lord General Castor - Sergeant Merrick