Cubes

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They come.

"OH GOD MY HEAD IS FULL OF CUBES"

-Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno, Stanza 20, line 4 (the small print)

Terror of the Third Dimension[edit]

Cubes are rectangular geometric shapes that exist in the second dimension as a square but can increase in potence by shifting into the third, creating a new axis. The great cube council see the universe we enhabit as unsatisfactory according to their cubic needs and have begun implementing their own designs into our daily life. Let it be stated that cubes absolutely detest circles and spheres and see cones as merely daywalking circles.

Their first attempt to create cube-shaped planetoids and suns have been foiled on multiple occasions, due to the interference of the forces of entropy, whose ideals of perfection roll around in circles and turn into balls, much to the chagrin of the great cube lords. To this day, the cube has only managed to impregnate our imaginations with their instructions for perfection as well as certain crystallizations of certain minerals. One such example is Pyrite, otherwise known as "fool's gold". The forces of spheres and the disenfranchised conic alliance have turned the cubic crystals irregular and sometimes multiple-edged, turning the glory of the cube into a mockery of itself.

The neckbeards show great affection towards cubes due to their predictability and regularity, and have implemented their glory into their tabletop games as creatures, such as the gelatinous cube. The affection is not mutual as neckbeards present the shape of the cube's primary adversary, the sphere.

Gallery[edit]

See Also[edit]