Dungeon Crawl

From 1d4chan

This article is about the Roguelike Dungeon Crawl. If you're looking for the RPG slang, see Dungeon crawling. If you're looking for the genre gb2/v/.

Dungeon Crawl is basically what would happen if Dwarf Fortress and Diablo's hardcore mode had an illegitimate lovechild, who then grew up angry and exploded you with a wand of disintegration. It takes all the cruelest and most unbalanced aspects of its spiritual predecessors and turns them into a game so spiteful and arbitrary that it makes a Dark Heresy campaign look like a sunday morning church picnic.

Thus a fa/tg/uy love affair was born.

You see, like a battered wife rushing to defend her husband in front of police, Crawl's players have developed a disturbing and wholly pathological love for their punishment. The game kills you so brutally and inventively that dying becomes part of the fun. It helps that while all of the deaths are cruel and unusual, most are avoidable. Attacked a monster you didn't recognize without an escape plan? Reroll. Retreated into unexplored areas? Reroll. Wielded a weapon of distortion? Reroll. Worshiped Xom? You poor bastard. Every body on this mountain of corpses represents one more stupid mistake you (hopefully) won't be making next time, and one small step towards that goddamn orb. Unfortunately every one of those failures has a chance of showing up in the dungeon. Each time you play you get a little further, and each time you die you add another powerful badass to the game who can't wait to kill you.



Sigmund is the physical embodiment of just how little of a shit Dungeon Crawl gives about you. He wields a giant blinging Scythe (usually enchanted) and casts mid level spells. None of these things are so awful except the game feels the need to spawn him on dungeon 2-5 (or D1 if it loves you), right around the time you're feeling confident about your ability to kill snakes. He casts fireball and magic dart so he can't be kited, he has invisibility so he can't be hit, and confusion ensures you can't even escape from the fight. Just seeing him is enough to send most crawlers into a mad dash for the nearest staircase. If you're very lucky he won't be camping the next staircase you choose to go down.

The Endless List of Hilarious(ly Awful) Crawl Deaths[edit]

Not Pictured: The hundreds of characters you're going to roll before this works.
  • Mork the Hill Orc Priest lost favor of Beogh while walking on water, drowned. --Petro 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
  • Sivi the Halfling Assassin developed the uncontrollable screaming mutation, mauled by a bear. --Petro 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
  • Buttons the Felid Summoner murdered by the reanimated corpse of its extra life. --Petro 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
  • LuckyPuck the Demonspawn Gladiator, Worshiper of Xom, drank a Potion of lignification(Grants you Tree form for several turns). Xom tested LuckyPuck's might by spawning 2 hellhounds next. -- 13:26, 3 May 2014 (EST)

See Also[edit]