Emperor's Children

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Emperor's Children
Emperorschildrenlogo.jpg
Battle Cry "Children of the Emperor! Death to your foes!"
Number III
Original Homeworld Chemos
Current Homeworld Pleasure Planet, which they can't find.
Primarch Fulgrim
Champion Lucius the Eternal, Fabius Bile
Strength unknown
Specialty Sonic Weaponry, tactical superiority (pre-heresy), being on drugs (post-heresy)
Allegiance Slaanesh
Colours Pink, black, gold


"Pleasure is sweetest when 'tis paid for by another's pain."

- Ovid

"The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom....for we never know what is enough until we know what is more than enough."

- William Blake

The Emperor's Children are a Chaos Space Marine Legion. They worship Slaanesh, wear pink and black, and were part of the original First Founding legions. They are the weird fat girl of the Traitor Legions, the one with the rape fantasies and that no one will ever talk to because she's far too weird. There's always the temptation to be nice to that fat girl because you know she's desperate enough for attention to, if asked, do some pretty freaky stuff. The things that normal girls would dump you for even asking about. (And let's face it, most of the fa/tg/guys experience of sexing come from this kind of woman due to neckbeards, body odor and an unhealthy obsession with miniatures, which is partially why every channer thinks their weird-ass fetish is actually not THAT weird.)

In other words, the Emperor's Children are the army that some fa/tg/uys would... consider joining based on the fact that this Legion revolves around sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Except they are not all about that: Games Workshop dummied out most of the sexual imagery out of Slaanesh on the tabletop in order to not offend Little Johnny's parents and keep a PG-13 rating. Though in the Heresy Novels it depicts a Slaanesh-inspired orgy and the Space Marines just started a killing spree. Yeah, they get off on combat, not sex... remind you of someone? Add to the fact that Slaanesh is the god(des?) /tg/ associates with furries and other things best left unsaid, it makes most anons reluctant to join the cul/tg/ratification. Then again, they are following the Prince of Excess...the followers are bound to be indulging themselves far beyond normality.

The Red Scorpions may or may not be a loyalist offshoot, based on their demeanor and secrecy over their unknown primarch. The Death Eagles chapter are another possible loyalist offshoot, this time speculated in-universe due to the fact that there was a loyalist contingent of Emperor's Children during the Horus Heresy who were called the Death Eagles.

NOT REALLY CHILDREN OF THE EMPEROR.

History[edit]

The Emperor's Children are the best pimps in the galaxy. Chaos! Fuck Yeah!

Back during the Great Crusade, the Emperor's Children were unswervingly loyal, which is how they got their name. Now they just use the name as a form of mockery to troll the loyalists. Their Primarch, Fulgrim, was best buds with Horus, so when Horus did his heresy thing, Fulgrim went straight to Horus and said "Dude; what the fuck? For reals." Horus knew that Fulgrim was a perfectionist with mild OCD and, straight out of an 80's afterschool special, Horus convinced Fulgrim that he could get that perfection if he tried some of these diet pills... and meth... and speed... and by the time Fulgrim was on cocaine he did a 180 turn and devoted himself and his legion to Slaanesh.

Before their fall to Chaos, the Emperor's Children were exemplars of what it meant to be an Astartes and were initially drawn from the Terran noble families rather than the chaff of the hive cities. They were noble, strong, excelled in all matters and above all were loyal to the core. Interestingly, a sizeable number of recruits after Fulgrim was found came from far less aristocratic sources (one Marine mentions being one of many children born to an underhive prostitute). They weren't experts in any sort of warfare (if there was an especially tough fortress to crack the Lords of Terra would bring in the Imperial Fists not the Emperor's Children for example) but could do everything very well and constantly drove themselves to learn as much as they could. Naturally, they were hyper-competitive and as a way to entertain their notions of superiority, engaged in lengthy duels against other Astartes. This is how you get somebody like good ole Lucy here!

Unfortunately in the early Great Crusade their gene-seed suffered a form of Space-Cancer that caused their organs to develop tumours and shut down their bodies. It's uncertain how this came about, but is suspected to have been some sort of infection introduced via a renegade plot, since not all of the gene-seed was initially infected. In an effort to stem the tide they "mercifully" executed those who suffered to condition and destroyed them, by the time Fulgrim was discovered there was only a few hundred Astartes left in the "Legion". Also, Fulgrim's return did not actually cure the problem, but merely sidestepped the issue by allowing untainted new gene-seed to be produced, it's quite possible that Fabius Bile is the only sufferer remaining but he likely gets around the symptoms through advanced medical sciences.

After finding Fulgrim, it is probably safe to assume that they were friends with the people of the Imperium and popular with other Legions. Firstly Fulgrim had a lot of friends among the Primarchs, most namely Ferrus Manus of the Iron Hands and Horus himself (The Emperor's Children are also battle-brothers with the Salamanders, but Vulkan is friends with everyone). In addition the Legion was noble in conduct and aspect, a shining example to other Legions. Starting off from this high place, perhaps it is not a surprise that pride began to poison the noble heart of the Emperor's Children.

The Emperor's Children were not so much known for their number of victories (especially since they got sort of a late start because of the whole gene-seed thing) but for the way they were won. Other Legions would take their mode of war and apply it in every situation. The Emperor's Children did everything, and were good at everything. In addition no other Legion could claim as many individual unit and Astartes honors as the Emperor's Children. In their waging of war was a perfection that perhaps echoed their fall.

A good example of the Third Legion's style of war was a battle known as the Defence of tranquility. Basically there was a nebula that had a series of (probably Eldar) gates. The Imperium came to claim them, and the Emperor's Children still only 500 strong at the time were ordered to defend the poisonous crystal world of Tranquility, the Imperium's forward base of operations. All was pretty quiet until lo and behold a xenos fleet emerged from the warp portal hanging above Tranquility North Pole. The xenos were crystalline and emitted powerful beam rays that could cut ceramite. They dropped from their ships in their thousands, and the Third Legion was ready for them. Every Legionary had studied and memorized the surface of the planet, and as the aliens came, the Emperor's Children knew exactly where to lure them in, where to run, and where to prepare kill zones. The aliens soon began to lose so many troops they were forced to direct their ships weapons onto the planet, which gave the Imperial Navy ships also in orbit a chance to get close and destroy the fragile vessels. Praetor Abisare of the Third is noted as having said it was not a battle but "an execution of considered intent." For the Emperor's Children war was an art, a craft to be honed and practiced.

As time went on, though, the Legion's pursuit of perfection started to take a bit of a wrong turn, at least to outsiders. During the Murder campaign the Luna Wolves found that Lord Eidolon had opted to take his entire force into a warzone which had already swallowed up a bunch of Blood Angels and Imperial Army troops. Eidolon then threw some weak insults at Torik Targaddon and took credit for his subordinates' achievements. Unsurprisingly, Torgaddon started fretting that egotistical arseholes like Eidolon might indicate something unhealthy in the EC's legion culture.

Anyways even before they were getting genuinely chaotic, they were already doing weird ass shit in the pursuit of 'perfection', like genetic enhancements and what not, and that's a big no-no for Space Marines, even if it is a bit hypocritical for the genetically engineered super-duper-awesome-power-humans to get all shitty about a few enhancements on top of that. But, shitty they were - what gets skimmed over is the fact that all this stuff was based on an alien race's modifications, so waaay more dodgy than anything the Emperor had devised for the SMs. If you're going to get more awesome, then you have to chop bits off and replace them with robot like everyone else. Anyhow they did it anyway because they wanted to be perfect THAT hard. Aaaaand that's where Fabius Bile came in. He was the Apothecary that was fucking with everyone's genes to turn them "perfect", among other things rewiring their nervous systems so that pain actually caused them pleasure. While not generally focused on, Slaanesh is also the god/ess of perfection, in addition to excess. Therefore, the Space Marines that are obsessed with perfection turn to Slaanesh. And don't forget that Fulgrim's mind was eaten by a demon. So yeah, they are Slaaneshi now.

Back in previous editions, Noise Marines had awesome guitar weapons instead of Sonic Cannons. Awesome.

During the siege on Terra, the Emperor's Children were supposed to help with getting back at the Emprah but they got bored, broke off and went pillaging the civilians. Most of the innocents they found were ground up and distilled into drugs, anyone left over was raped to death. After the Siege, they dragged a shitton of slaves with them back with them into the Eye of Terror. After snorting / smoking / raping / defenestrating / dogwielding them all up, they started stealing slaves from the other Legions, which started all the in-fighting. Considering they suffered few losses on Terra proper, they hadthe upper hand at first and even managed to steal Horus's corpse from the Sons of Horus. But then they had the poor idea to poke the World Eaters a bit too hard and a certain swell guy went to town on their asses (and his own Legion's asses, Khorne cares not where the blood flows from!) at the Battle of Skalathrax. Reeling, the Emperor's Children retreated to their Stronghold of Harmony where this fabulous sicko managed to clone Horus...

However, Abbadon in a rare moment of awesomeness assembled various Marines from his Legion and others, launched an attack on Harmony, and won by having one of his sidekicks hurl a warship at the capital in a massive colony drop before killing the fully grown clone of Horus and ruining Bile's labs. It's implied that a bunch of Emperor's Children went over to Abaddon and made up the nucleus of the Children of Torment (the BL's Slaaneshi contingent) worshippers, as the EC views them at traitors to Fulgrim.

After the battle of Harmony, most EC went their own merry way. Marines of the Emperor's Children legions are always looking for the next high, and eschew tranqs and depressants (like booze) for hallucinogens and stimulants (like cocaine). It started out as a quest for perfection with performance-enhancing drugs, but now that they're full-blown corrupted by Slaanesh it's about peak experiences. Also have an obsession with noise, furry porn, tentacles, and gettin' high. Hey, who's the bastard who forgot about their chronic masturbation problem?

The Pre-Heresy paint scheme for their minis are purple and gold, while the Post-Heresy paint scheme is pink and black. (Or pink and any clashing pastel colours.) They are the Legion that created the original Noise Marines, and are still the go-to Legion for expertise in Sonic Weaponry.

Among the most infamous members of their Legion are Lucius the Eternal and Fulgrim. Fabius Bile was once part of the Emperor's Children, but went renegade from them. He's still labeled as a champion here, though.

It is speculated that the Pretty Marines' unknown Primarch was actually an Emperor's Children Captain that remained loyal to the Emperor during the Horus Heresy and convinced the High Lords of Terra to allow him to re-create the example of human flawlessness using his own gene-seed.

Daily Routines of the Emperor's Children[edit]

05:00 - The Emperor's Children and Daemonette girlfriends awake from their drug-induced hangover in their party lounge.

05:10 - Grooming period. The Emperor's Children groom their body parts so they could look absolutely fabulous.

05:30 - Morning Meal. A light meal consisting of cocaine, drugs and the bodily fluids of Eldar victims are consumed by the Emperor's Children. The legion's personal sex slaves are forbidden to be molested for now.

06:00 - Morning Prayers. The Emperor's Children pray to Slaanesh for the best pleasures while masturbating and jizzing everywhere in an orgy of sadomasochism.

07:00 - Morning Firing Rites. The Emperor's Children begin morning target practice on captured slaves. Sometimes they use their cocks instead of their guns to 'hit the target'.

09:00 - Battle Practice. The Emperor's Children begin playing training with one another. Foreplay is also included.

10:00 - Tactical Indoctrination. The Emperor's Children are indoctrinated on the best drugs and sexual position in the galaxy.

11:00 - Midday Meal. A medium meal is prepared by the legion's sex slave. This time the Emperor's Children are allowed to rape their slaves while eating their meal at the same time.

12:00 - Local Raids. The Emperor's Children do their local raids in capturing more sex slaves for their pleasure.

16:00 - Evening Meal. A feast is prepared by the legion's sex slaves. Usually the feast includes several young girls and boys, who are then slowly eaten and raped alive. Their still living bodies are then paraded through the streets where they whimper in pain as they are then transformed into the legion's next generation of sex slaves.

17:00 - Torture an Eldar Period. The Emperor's Children torture, rape, penetrate and humiliate captured Eldar women and men. Most of the Eldar often drown in their own bodily fluids as the Emperor's Children decide to photograph their defiled and violated bodies and then post it on any near Eldar Craftworld to troll them.

20:00 - Rock'n Roll Time. The Emperor's Children decide on who can play the best Rock'n Roll while snorting as much cocaine and warp dust as possible while gang banging multiple chained and helpless sex slaves. Daemonettes also join the fun, having hot, erotic ball-busting sex while committing in an act of mass orgies and drugs. Some Emperor's Children put the face of Sanguinius on a dart board in which they defile and poke holes at; either due to innate jealousy that the Angel is better then them or that they realize they and Fulgrim can never, ever become as fabulous as Sanguinius.

24:40 - Rest Time. The Emperor's Children, their Daemonette companions and the sex slaves all pass out in an ocean of jizz, bodily fluids, juices and powdered drugs in their party lounge.

24:50 - Finding Fulgrim. A small detachment of Emperor's Children not committed in the orgy are sent out to find Fulgrim and co. It lasts a week and they do not succeed as usual.

Gallery[edit]

The Traitor Legions of Chaos
Chaos Legions: Alpha Legion - Black Legion - Death Guard - Emperor's Children
Iron Warriors - Night Lords - Thousand Sons - Word Bearers - World Eaters
Warbands: Apostles of Contagion - Bloodborn - Blood Gorgons
Broken Aquila - Crimson Slaughter - Foresworn - Red Corsairs
Sons of Malice - The Flawless Host - The Purge - The Scourged
Skyrar's Dark Wolves - Warband of Subsector Aurelia