Evony

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This is a /v/ related article, which we tolerate because it's popular on /tg/... or we just can't be bothered to delete it.
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This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.

Evony is a browser-based computer game which fucking sucks and anyone who says it's remotely good proves themselves flagrantly retarded.

What else do you need to know?[edit]

...wait, fuck, you're serious. Eh, whatever, I GUESS it won't kill us.

The actual game[edit]

It's a shit copy of Civilization with graphics stolen from Age of Empires 2. The blatant copying is so obvious it's ridiculous.

Ads AKA the only reason we even have this article[edit]

When the retards who run it realized that nobody gave two fucks about their half-baked, shitty clone of Civilization, they decided to make up for it by spamming the shit out of advertisers with automated adspace - such to the point where Google has forcibly blocked attempts by Evony's makers hundreds of times to field more ads, and yet countless ones have made it through. Even after the blanket-block by Google, the sheer number of bots Evony's makers have unleashed has caused the game's ads to be spammed all across every fucking community everywhere - you can't get away from this shit without crap like Firefox's Adblock and Noscript.

When this failed, they began instituting comment spam. When that failed, they introduced tits to the ads. The Evony Ads are so notoriously ridiculous that they can make the most innocuous of pages look like a fuck-mothering porn site. Oh, with images stolen from Google Image Search. Fuck year.

But wait! There's more![edit]

Worst of all, dozens of sites and companies decided to copy their methods, with the most "successful" ones being Game of War: Fire Age and Mobile Strike. That, in turn, has led to a number of various faux-Civ clones that exist solely for the most cynical of cash grabs, and the whale-hunting cancer has even spread to Final Fantasy, of all fucking things (and they didn't even try to hide the blatant hack job, either).

On top of all that, the Evony game itself is loaded to the gills with malware. It will infect your machine faster than Nurgle's turgid cock, so if ever you had to pick one reason out of several not to play it, then there you go.

Oh, and the game's operators are under investigation by the FBI for potentially using this info for identity theft. They're also currently in trouble with international police for their involvement in keeping people as slaves to run Gold-Farming services for games like World of Warcraft.

/tg/ Does Not Approve (AKA the only OTHER reason this article is here)[edit]

The main problem /tg/ had with Evony is much the same problem that all of the various *chans had towards AnonTalk; bots began locking into /tg/ and flooding fucking threads with Evony and how awesome it was. After the initial onslaught of /tg/'s userbase manning the barricades and trying to fight them off first with reason and logic, then their boundless supply of Nerd Rage, the mods were called in. Because /tg/'s mods, unlike most other boards, don't tolerate this shit, they were banned in short order, but, as was the case with AnonTalk, sockpuppets were launched and the spam continued in staggered salvos as the mods of /tg/ dropped their righteous banhammer over and over. With no other options, /tg/ underwent a board freeze and a digital firestorm of deletions quickly scourged the board of the spam and banned the offenders. The threat had been abated... but it wasn't over yet.

Moot Approves Even Less[edit]

The combination of spambots - the worst of which included the aforementioned AnonTalk bots, as well as things like user-generated spambots and the goddamned Evony bots eventually led Moot to declare the ultimate sanction - the only way to stop the spam entirely was with the only thing that, as a free imageboard, Moot was loath to institute - but it had to be done. Moot instated a Captcha, and literally overnight the spam stopped. To add insult to injury, Moot blocked a huge majority of the Evony ads on 4chan, and from there, the threat was ended.

To this day, mentioning Evony on 4chan in general will incite fury. If you're a big enough tard to mention it on /tg/, the mods may ban you on principle, and frankly you will fucking deserve it. Bring yourself before the Commissar for summary execution, you coprophagic pillock.

TL;DR[edit]

Evony is one of two reasons (the other being AnonTalk) why all the boards on 4chan require captchas to post, plus some of their shit practices are being adopted by larger companies who have no real reason to stoop that low besides emptying people's pockets. Permission to hate has been approved.

Gallery[edit]