Grand Alliance Destruction
"Da Bad Moon spoke to me, once. All dese years, through all dese realms, I've followed it in da skies and 'ave heard all da stories about 'ow it came to be..."
- – Skragrott the Loonking
"Don't go 'round tonight. It's bound to take your life. There's a Bad Moon on the rise."
- – Creedence Clearwater Revival
The Bad Moon
The Bad Moon itself is a supernatural moon (even moreso than Morrslieb from the world that was) that travels between realms in no discernible pattern. A thing of horror and mystery, with those who seek to divine its path driven mad by the celestial object. It also sends ill portents across the realms wherever it passes. It can even speak, though the only person it has done so to is Skragrott, allegedly, at least. If you take as many mushrooms as the Night Goblins do you'd probably begin to hear voices as well. He ain't called "Loonking" for nothing.
There are three stories of its origins. Most greenskins claim it's a moon that Gorkamorka tried to eat. It broke some of his teeth so he spat it out but unintentionally left a bit of his power in it. The Spiderfang Grots see it as an egg of their spider god which will one day hatch and flood the realms with spiders. Grot shaman's believe it is made of the coalesced souls of every grot shaman who has ever lived.
Whatever the case, the Bad Moon fills the Gloomspite Gits with lunacy, which they refer to as “Gloomspite” that fills them with fervor and strength but also takes a toll on their sanity. Just as Waaagh! energy builds up and empowers orcs, which is generated through their belligerence and battle-hunger; Gloomspite is generated out of the Gitz's cruelty, spite, hatred of those more fortunate and sheer meanness. When the Bad Moon waxes, wars rage.
As the moon approaches an area, strange things occur. All surfaces will become clammy and slick with cave-moisture, animals will go insane or start to speak in weird and disturbing tongues, water drips up instead of down, insects and arachnids crawl out of every crevice and become aggressive to everyone. Worst of all, giant fungi grow on every material, from stone, wood, earth, to metal and even flesh. People will suffer from insomnia, nightmares, paranoia, and in the case of those unfortunates who are already weak minded, full-on schizophrenic insanity. All of this works to further prepare an area for takeover by the Gloomspite Gitz, who thrive in these uncomfortable times. By the time the Bad Moon itself leers overhead the hordes of Grots, Squigs, Spiders, and Troggoths are already invading from hidden tunnels below or pouring from caves in the hills.
The Bad Moon is also followed and orbited by a smaller moonlet or asteroid that crashes into celestial objects in its way. Much like how the Grots have varying ideas of what the Bad Moon itself is, they believe the smaller moon to be the Bad Moon's punishing fist, the Bad Moon's pet squig, or even the ancient spirit of a powerful Grot warlord who conquered eight mighty mountain peaks in the primeval World-That-Was...
Skragrott the Loonking, self titled leader of the Gloomspite Gitz, has a plan. He abducts every seer and prophet he can find that's had contact with the Bad Moon. Then he infects them with a fungal strain that turns them into half-human, half-mushroom hybrids. The Loonking keeps these captives in his creatively named "fungal asylum". He hopes they will foretell where the Bad Moon will rise, with mixed results so far. His ultimate goal is to cover all the Mortal Realms in the Clammy-Dank and he has already achieved this in one part of Chamon, which could bring them in conflict with the forces of Chaos since the realm is currently dominated by the followers of Tzeentch.
The rest of the Moonclan Grots is pretty close to old Night Goblin lore, but with even more fungi. Moonclan Grots can't even stand outside during the day without their skin burning and their eyes clamping shut in pain, so they wear their heavy robes to hide from the terrible entity they call Glareface Frazzlegit, AKA the Sun. They believe that old Glareface exists to kill and hurt them, opposite their beloved Bad Moon. They work with the rest of the Gloomspite Gitz to bring about the Everdank - the permanent extinguishing of the sun and an eternal Bad Moonlit night. Because they so rarely appear aboveground, grots of all sorts are seen as children's fairy tales and drunkard's pink elephants, right up until the Moonclan are pouring into the streets and murdering everyone. They also have a strange obsession with bottles, and consider them the most valuable items to steal and loot from other races. The reason is twofold: first is that Grots love magic potions and their shamans can craft many clever varieties from a myriad of mystical mushrooms and fungi, and secondly Grots lack any skill or knowledge of glassblowing, meaning that they cannot craft bottles themselves. To the Moonclan, a successful raid might be several tons of food, weapons, armor pieces, building scraps, and so on, but an equally successful night of raiding is a couple dozen glass bottles in good shape.
The Spiderfang Grots are a little different; they still worship the Spider-god, but they also zealously follow the Bad Moon around for a different reason. They believe it is actually a FUCKHUEG egg laid by the Spider God, and that if they can make it stand still long enough it'll hatch, and spill a never-ending tide of Spiders across the Mortal Realms. Yeah. Says something about how crazy these gits are when even the Loonking thinks their interpretation is hard to believe.
Troggoths are pretty much the classic idiot troll, and come in a couple varieties: Fellwater (River), Rockgut (Stone), and Dankhold (Mountain). Fellwater Troggoths love to live in stinky swamps, fetid bogs, and stagnant pools, and stink so bad even ghosts hate them. Rockguts have the unique magical power to reshape rock and stone with their bare hands, but instead of using this power to create beautiful works of art or massive underground cities, they use their powers to scoop big rocks to throw at the enemy or make basic clubs out of. Lastly, Dankhold Troggoths are a strange breed that have hard, rocky flesh that fungus of all types can grow in. They also love to sleep, often sleeping for hundreds of years. Dankhold Troggoths also change size based on their environment, like huge humanoid fungus-goldfish, and if a Dankhold decides to squeeze itself into a tiny crevice, he'll wake up half his original size. Conversely, if a Dankhold sleeps in a huge, open cavern, he'll awaken taller than a Gargant. Lastly Dankholds love to eat fungus, especially fungi that grow on Realmstone veins, and instead of dying on the spot from consuming highly magical and radioactive fungi like any sensible creature, the Dankhold Troggoth internalizes the magic, making them magic resistant in the highest degree. Troggoths don’t really act as a unified group, no troll king barking orders or whatnot. Staying true to the classic "wild giant only here to fuck your shit up," Trogherds are formed when random groups of Troggoths just start to follow the lead of a bigger Troggoth, for no reason or goal other than to rampage. Even a Dankhold Troggboss only leads his "army" through some sort of poorly understood instinctive leadership or alpha quality, and most Troggbosses are too stupid to read, or even speak. This does not stop them from causing ridiculous amounts of destruction as they blunder through farmsteads, homes, villages, or even cities as the leader picks a direction and just starts walking, with a dozen or two other species of Troggoths following him close behind.
Notable Gloomspite Hordes
- Skragrott’s Konkererz: The Loonking’s personal army that led the invasion of Chamon. Following Skragrott are the High Gobbapalooza, which includes The Mighty Mezmerizmo and Curdlegore the Arch-Spiker. The ‘Eavies are a quintet of Dankhold Troggbosses who usually guard the entrance of the fungal asylum, but are more than happy to smash heads for the Loonking. The bulk of the army is made up of two Moonclan Skrap battalions, Da King’s Gitz and Izgit’s Loons, both groups constantly vying for Skragrott’s favor. Other detachments include the Badgob Batterers (Squigalanche), Warrblag’s Lurkers (Spiderfang Stalktribe), and the Lumberstomp Brothers (three Aleguzzler Gargants).
- Waaagh!Zigsnak: Led by a particularly influential Fungoid Cave Shaman, this horde also included the likes of orruks and ogors, a feat unheard of among most Grots. With this massive collection of belligerents, Zigsnak won many a fight. Until the Waaagh! collided with a Khorne Goretide, and after a brutal eight day battle, the shaman’s head was claimed by Korghos Khul, and the Waaagh! was soundly butchered. This conflict has since been known as Zigsnak’s Folly, and is regarded by the Gloomspite Gitz as a cautionary warning. Specifically, "Don't fuck with Khorne."
- Claggit’s Smotherers: The closest thing to fire fighters in AoS. Loonboss Claggit, the “Grand Smotherdouser”, has a burning hatred for fire and has devoted his entire tribe to extinguishing all flames they find. Considering they make their lurklairs in the Kindling Forests of Aqshy, they are considerably busy fighting Fyreslayer lodges, Tzeentchian cabals, and the Clans Skyre. A favored tactic of the horde is to employ large mobs of Fellwater Troggoths, who vomit all over the fires of their obsession. The grots wear dark green and grey robes, made to blend into the clouds of smoke and ash they create.
- The Badsnatchers: You know that one idea where if you yell something loud enough people will believe it’s true? That’s kind of the story of the Badsnatchers in a nutshell. The horde’s leader, Ogwotz Da Magnificent, has proudly claimed to have covered all of Ulgu in the Everdank. This is very likely false given the nature of the realm of shadow, but none dare argue with the grots, who have become a special breed of arrogant braggarts who regularly pillage the surface world, confident that the Bad Moon is watching over them. They operate out of seven large lurklairs all situated in the Hushed Hills.
- The Scurrowstabberz: Another Ulgu tribe, these grots are earnest allies to the Frazzleshun stalktribes in Hysh. Using realmgates, they trade refined realmstone for spider riders and arachnarok venom.
- Zarbag’s Gitz: Through one way or another, the Madcap Shaman Zarbag and his personal crew ended up in the mysterious Nightvault hidden away beneath the city of Shadespire. Oh well, time to pillage and plunder!
- Da Moon City Murderboyz: A Kharadron Sky-Port called Barak Khazzar made the fatal mistake of trying to reclaim a lost hold from the Grots. Now their precious city is controlled by the Gitz and renamed to Da Moon City.
- The Jaws of Mork: A gargantuan and inexorable Squigalanche that rumbles through the realm of life chasing the Bad Moon. Their leader is the masked Overbounder, a mysterious Grot who never lets his skin show. His reason? He wants to be “in cognee toes” so he can sneak up on the Bad Moon and bounce right over it. Instead of asking why he wants to do this, a more reasonable one would be how he plans to do so when his miles wide herd created tremors that can be heard across the realm.
- Frazzleshun: Dwelling in the Crackenmaw Chasm in the Realm of Light, swarms of spiderfang grots who spurn the shining radiance of their realm. Through their trade agreements with the Scurrowstabberz, they have crafted special shadow-silk webbings that they regularly use to block out the light and launch massive attacks with their venomous hordes. The tribe is led by shrewd committee of shamans known as the Spider’s Eyes.
- Glintfang: By feeding their spiders bits and bobs of metal, the Glintfang stalktribes create steel-silk, which is basically metal cabling. These wires are used to create anything from false jewelry to parachutes for dive bombing hapless foes.
- Murkthudd’s Troggherd: Murkthudd was a Troggboss of spectacular size and stupidity, and one day he decided to go for a walk. When he emerged from underneath the Domtanguan Mountains, he was followed by two dozen various Troggoths and a horde of Squigs. They wrecked havoc throughput the settlements surrounding the Ferrus Sea, regularly clashing with Freeguild and Stormcast regiments. Eventually they tore through the city of Azyrvale and marched right off the pier and into the sea. What became of them is unclear, though rumors persist that Murkthudd is still walking at the bottom of the sea to this day.
- Mollog’s Mob: The ancient pygmy Dankhold Troggoth called Mollog only wants to find a quiet place to sleep. Unfortunately for him, a group of tunneling Skaven woke him up and ruined his cozy hideout. Now he wanders through Shadespire to find a new hole to crawl in and sleep. He’s followed by a collection of various cave critters, all of whom are fiercely protective of their master.
List of Known Funguses used by the Gitz
- Stinkcranny Fungi: A foul smelling violet fungus harvested for usage in various poisons. Usually it’s avoided by Grots and Squigs alike because of his horrendous odor.
- Squig Eggs: Not actually connected to the squiggly beasts’ reproductive cycle. Small spherical growths found in clusters near Squig dens.
- Badloon Bossfungus: An extremely rare mushroom known for its sickle moon shape. It is revered as a sign of the Bad Moon’s favor, this particular fungus grows on the top of Skragrott’s staff.
- Bitterspurts: Pale blue shrooms found exclusively in Moonclan dung heaps. Used to brew “urgeblurt poison”, a toxin so revolting that it causes victims to vomit their guts in agony.
- Dincap Mushroom: A dark purple fungus that, when ingested, causes a person’s lungs to vibrate and turns their voice into a microphone. Though the effects are temporary, they do last for a while so be sure not to say anything secretive while under its effect.
- Madcap Mushroom: A magic-enhancing shroom used by Madcap Shamans. Not to be confused with the similarly named Madcap Toadstool, despite looking, smelling, and tasting identical to the impossibly toxic 'shroom.
- Madcap Toadstool: A deathly toxic fungus often confused with Madcap Mushrooms. It looks, smells, and tastes identical to the powerful Madcap Mushroom... at least until the poor idiot who ate it dies horribly from cramps so strong their organs implode.
- Deffcap Mushroom: A magical and addictive shroom eaten by Fungoid-Cave Shamans to increase their spell output. Grows only on the rotting flesh of mass graves of grots. Causes powerful brain-wracking hallucinations that are invariably prophetic in nature and often reveal the will of Gorkamorka 'imself, if you can survive the ten to twenty hour acid trip it involves.
- Looncap Mushroom: A rare fungi that only grows in the light of the Bad Moon. While it can grow virtually anywhere, it has a habit of sprouting out of the heads/backs of living creatures. They are harvested by Sneaky Snuffler teams who then use them on fellow Moonclan Grots to “enhance” their fighting prowess. Also refined in a magic potion and force-fed to the unlucky sods chosen to become Fanatics of either the Loonsmasha or Sporesplatta variety.
- Twackweezer Puffshroom: A pale fungus that releases lung-clogging spores upon the slightest contact. Thwackweezers grow quickly and silently in inconvenient places, such as under grots pillows or just behind their bathroom door and spray a foul spore filled gas that drives grots into a tooth-gnashing frenzy and everything else into coughing fits. Of course, grots being the vindictive little shitheads they are, they use them as "hilarious" pranks. Then some enterprising (and very insane) grit decided to replace a Fanatic's metal ball with a Thwackweezer, and after a few messy test runs and about a dozen dead volunteers, the Sporesplatta fanatic was born, which swings the heavy and solid fungus in a chain to generate a cloud of obscuring spores and drive nearby grots into a battle frenzy.
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