Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

From 1d4chan

"Listen up, ya grots an' squigs! Dey'z comin' for us like we'z some kinda humie gitz! But we ain't! We're da Orks, and dis is gonna be one GREAT FIGHT! So get yer choppas and yer shootas ready, boyz, 'cos dere's some killin' ta do!"

– Gorgutz rallies the troops, Dawn of War: Dark Crusade

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter is an Ork Bloodaxe / evilsun / badmoon / cant make his fucking mind up which clan he's with Warboss-turned-Warlord, and one of the primary recurring characters of Dawn of War, having featured in every expansion since his introduction in Winter Assault and making a big return in Dawn of War III. Because he was such a big hit the first time, he is the leader of the Ork faction in each expansion. While not short of traditional Ork virtues, Gorgutz is unusually crafty for an Ork, and always ensures he has some method of escaping in the event that whatever WAAAGH he is leading happens to be defeated, conveniently reappearing some time later at the head of another WAAAGH (and in another expansion) somewhere else in the galaxy. He and Kaptin Bluddflagg are probably tied with Ghazghkull for the most fucking awesome Ork characters ever; although its worth noting that Gorgutz is humble enough to acknowledge Ghazghkull is far bigger and more powerful than him (for now anyway).

Gorgutz takes the appellation "'Ead 'Unter" thanks to his fondness for collecting the decapitated heads of significant foes. When questioned why he collects his foes' heads, he replied that heads look better impaled upon sharp sticks than feet do. A true philosophical genius.

As listening to any of his dialogue would probably indicate, Gorgutz is also exceptionally witty, which must surely be frustrating when the overwhelming majority of the company he keeps isn’t clever enough to understand, or appreciate, his wordplay. If he still had hands capable of such a precise gesture, you just know he’d be rubbing his temples and muttering “I’m surrounded by gitz.” He probably relishes fighting more intelligent races just as much for a chance at some proper verbal sparring as much as for the fight itself.

It is worth noting that Gorgutz was voiced by Brian Drummond. Who is notable as the voice of Vegeta in Dragonball Z and is the creator of OVER 9000!! Whether this is hilariously awesome or fail is a matter of some contention, though experts espouse that it's both (and thus both fail and hilariously awesome). Fittingly enough, Gorgutz' HP does indeed go over 9000 when he's upgraded with wargear, which is either a clever reference or derp depending on who you ask.

And now, as of Dawn of war 3, Gorgutz is canonically the victor of Soul Storm. WAAAAAGH! indeed. He ends up being the one who gets the Spear of Khaine at the end of Dawn of War 3. However, the status on how true that is (Especially giving the sheer unreliability of WH40K fluff with the whole 'everything is propaganda and subjective in nature' shlick) has caused an immense of Skub and Rage among Vance Stubbs fans.

Hilariously, Michael Dobson, who voiced Crull in Winter Assault also provided the voice for Nappa in DBZ, so you have Nappa and Vegeta back together screaming threats and insults at one another via proxy.

On the Issue on Dawn of War 3[edit]

If you listen closely, you can hear the outrage of countless Vance Motherfucking Stubbs fans.

As mentioned, Dawn of War III has been a cauldron of Skub, Rage, Butthurt and Wat wrapped in one nice package. Some people take issue with Gorgutz's depiction in the game, saying that he should not be serving another Warboss, asking why he doesn't have an empire, saying he should not have left his empire if he did have one and that there's no way the Magpies could've survived if he won.

Dawn of War III does answer why all of this happens however, as it states that he did win, but left Kaurava (which he calls a dump and doesn't seem to care for at all) to go find other things to steal, as he stopped caring about Kaurava the second he learned that Acheron exists. He also started working for another Warboss specifically so that he could backstab him and take his forces. The question of why he doesn't bring his own empire with him to Acheron, or why he didn't just challenge Gitstompa in the first place is only answered with 'he didn't want to' but considering that these are the Orks, and that everything Gorgutz does is dictated by 'what Gorgutz wants', it's not as much of an ass-pull as it would be for anyone else.

Anuvva retelling[edit]


Gorgutz was da biggest and da strongest Ork on dat dere iceworld of Lorn V and he thought it would be fun to smash up dose spiky boy Chaos gits. Just as he wuz getting started on dat dough dem scrawny Imperial Guard boyz showed up an’ Gorgutz realised dat deir leada had enough Grit ta make a much better head fur ‘is pointy-stick. 'As to be the 'ead as dat is where tha skull iz, and you’d look pretty stupid with someones foot on yer stik.

Tings went quite well, dere was some good fighting and poncy Eldar and some of dose Necron-boyz showed up to get deir stompin’ but dere were not enuff heads on Gorgutz’s stik so he decided to head for Kronos.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade General Alexander was sent to Kronus in pursuit of Farseer Taldeer. This means Gorgutz did not get her head and probably did not get General Sturnn’s or Alexander would have had that as a second reason for the pursuit. He did get Crull's skull, though, because Eliphas wanted to take it back from him. It's complicating still, because both Taldeer's and Sturnn's heads can be seen on a pointy fence sticks just outside his base.)

Kronus wuz fun. Not only were dere more pointy Chaos boyz to fight, dere were also Space Marines and some of those Tau wusses. Wuz great fun watching a Squiggoth and a Greata Knarlox 'avin' a fight. Dose Eldar came back, an' dere was more Necron boyz to fight. Only problem wuz dat some of those Imperial Guard wimps had followed and Gorgutz had enuff normal humie heds already. Den dose Space Marines spoiled the fun more by beating up da Imperial Guard insteda leaving dem for Gorgutz’s boyz and den by being rather too good at beating up Gorgutz’s boyz as well. 'ad to blow up da base and go froo da tunnels.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II it was the Blood Ravens who attacked and conquered Victory Bay and as the Kronus Campaign is remembered as going well and their goal of recovering relics seemed to have been achieved the Blood Ravens likely won on Kronos. Boo. At least Gorgutz had a little fun.)

Dere were some super tough Orks on a planet in the Kor-ruvva system but dey were da ones dat kept on running back to dere Ork-hold in sum mountains whenevva dey got a little beat up. Gorgutz decided to go and see if they could be made more Orky. Dis was a mixed success as all-dough dey managed to beat up sum Space Marine gitz de Imperial Guard boyz were ravva tuff an’ had a lot of dem big dakka tanks. Still, if dose Orks could be beaten up by humies dey were not much loss so after killing their leada' Gorgutz wandered off to find da next fight.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II the Blood Ravens remember Commander Boreale's campaign in the Kaurava system with shame, which they would if rather than the Blood Ravens dealing with the Ork problem the Orks dealt with them. Vance Stubbs though shipped a hundred Baneblades to other provinces, which makes about 4 for every territory on the map and even De mighty Gorgutz could only beat up three at a time, which left the other one to beat up the rest of his army, unless dose tankbustaz boys were in da right places. Which they were, given that Gorgutz is the canon winner.)

Gorgutz never reappeared in Dawn of War II, having been replaced by two Warboss Bonesmasha's, and then the Kunnin' Kaptin Bluddflagg. We can only hope that Gorgutz hires out Kaptin Bluddflagg in Dawn of War III. On that note, there's no word on Bluddflagg yet, but Dawn of War III has been announced. Guess who'z back, ya grots and squigs! Dawn of War III revealed that he's coming back along with Gabriel Angelos and Farseer Macha, and with all three races supposedly having their own story play out through the campaign you can already count on ol' Gorgutz completely stealing the show. Also, it seems that he is now a Bad Moon, replaced his regular Ork Power Klaw with what looks like a Defiler's close combat weapon and has evidently re-grown his left hand I NEVA LOST MY LEFT ARM IT WAS UNDER ARMUR YA GROTZ ZOGGING 'ELL I FOUGT DAT STUPID WAZ DA ONLY GIT I AD TA DEAL WIV., or at the very least got a cybork replacement.

Combat Ability[edit]

His DoW 3 Appearance.

When Gorgutz gets all his wargear in Dark Crusade and Soulstorm he is absolutely fucking deadly in combat as he has an absolutely FUCKHUEG hit point count (somewhat bigger in Dark Crusade than in Soulstorm as his Banner increased his health in the former game but not the latter) which can be made even larger by getting the tougher bosses upgrade, he will be ridiculously fast (for someone with such stubby legs like him any way), do FUCKHUEG amounts of damage to all armor types in melee, deal huge amounts of damage at range (270 something per hit... that is if he could hit while moving... damn 15% on the move accuracy), does constant Morale damage with his skull rack and will count as two Waaagh! Banners with the banner (duh), but in Soulstorm he will also decrease the recruiting time of your units, which is awesome as it allows you to crank out Orks more quickly.

Gorgutz is capable of beating any-other fully-upgraded commander in Dawn of War with five exceptions: Either Necron Lord, should they take Lightning Field, Will do the bulk of Gorgutz' meaty damage back to him and ergo fuck Gorgutz' shit up (especially if he has Phylactery as well) and he can simply obliterate Gorgutz if he uses the essence of the Nightbringer ((Actually the fully upgraded necron lord will pretty easily kill pretty much any of the other commanders in a fair fight, especially with the right artifacts, and especially in soulstorm where he becomes even more ridiculously overpowered)), and Eliphas is capable of flat-out demolishing even Gorgutz due to his knockback immunity and access to Daemonic strength and higher raw damage. Carron isn't quite as capable of fucking up Gorgutz' shit, because he isn't as powerful in melee (Eliphas is considerably stronger damage-wise, in exchange for Carron being able to inflict a lot more morale damage), but he can still mess Gorgutz up, coming away with slightly more HP at the end of a fight between the two (again, knockdown immunity). In a raw range-vs-range fight, Gorgutz can beat Shas'o Kais if he has his Kustom Shoota if Kais lacks upgrades, but will lose to him if he has either the launcher or Iridium Armor, and will reliably get utterly trashed in ranged combat by Commander Or'es'Ka.

Ironically, the Daemon Prince forms of both Carron and Eliphas are incapable of defeating Gorgutz in close-combat due to Gorgutz' high anti-Daemon damage. Finally, Caerys in Soulstorm is capable of being a cheesy cunt, since her upgraded pistol can one-shot kill Gorgutz if he gets under 20% HP, which makes sense considering it belonged to a huge dick. Of course, if you are lucky you can kill her before it ever gets to that.

He will be able to practically steamroll entire bases on his own and will be an excellent commander killer, and in a pinch he can really help out when you take on those pesky relic units. He has two indestructible modes, ranged and attached to Flash Gitz, or melee and attached to Nobs. Both are totally rapetastic.

So which Klan is he actually with?[edit]

It's rare to see Orks abandon one klan in favour for another (although it does happen from time to time) but Gorgutz is unique in the sense that he changes his allegiance every single time he's seen in game. In his first appearance (Winter Assault) people assumed he was an Evil Sun due to his colour scheme (mainly speedy red) and his obsession to make his suit go faster, but in his next appearance (Dark Crusade) he all but ditches the red colour scheme for a far more generic look, he can still paint on some red to his mek suit to make himself go faster but no self respecting Evil Sun would only paint himself "partially" red; his sneaky and rather un-orky act of running the fuck away in defeat made everyone believe he was definitely a Blud Axe.

Only for Dawn of War 3 to come around and change him into a Bad Moon for seemingly no reason. We can start by listing all the Klans to see how he measures up:

1) Snakebites

Gorgutz couldn't be any less of a Snakebite if he tried; he wears a big mek suit all the time and has absolutely no interest in "Da Old Ways", although he does subjugate some feral Orks into his WAAAGH during Dark Crusade and sees their niche if nothing else.

2) Death Skulls

While Gorgutz does partake in a proper orky amount of looting, no Death Skull Warboss wouldn't try to at least get an enemy vehicle working or two; also he has no interest in trying to properly salvage the titan in Winter Assault (instead just pounding it into scrap to piss Crull off) so him being a Death Skull is unlikely.

3) Goffs

Its pretty obvious that Gorgutz isn't a goff; he wears colours all the time and no self respecting goff Warboss would run away like a bitch the way he does when defeated.

4) Freebooter

He does hire some freebooter mercenaries to bulk up his WAAAGH from time to time (and he is also capable of working with other species until backstabbing them) but makes no effort to steal away any valuables and quite frankly doesn't have the dress sense to make a proppa freebooter.

5) Bad Moons

Despite his colour scheme in DOW 3 he doesn't show to many Bad Moon traits; he doesn't seem massively rich (though he was able to get a Mekboy to give his armour a seriously neat arm upgrade) his fighting style prefers melee rather than the bad moons signature FIRE EVERYTHING strategy. Bad moon orks are also known to grow teeth at a much faster rate than regular orks, a trait that Gorgutz lacks.

6) Evil Suns

While Gorgutz does love going fast and does paint his armour suitably red (most of the time) it seems that his love for speed is more for practical reasons (such as getting into close range quicker because his gun sucks dick even when fully upgraded) rather than your average Evil Sun obsession with going faster for the sake of going faster. He also never rides around in his own bike or buggy; when being an Evil Sun Warboss a fast moving vehicle should at least be at your side at all times

7) Blud Axes

Gorgutz does everything the blud axe way: Is he in trouble? He retreats! Does it take stabbing a previous Warboss in the back to take his WAAAGH? Just abandon him to the enemy and destroy his weapons! Does he want a brand new pointy stick? Team up with an Eldar! Does he see a commissar with a nice hat? I WANT THAT HAT! Gorgutz is a strategist and one of the most kunnin Orks your gonna find as well as being one of the biggest. When Ghazghull finally gets around to meeting this guy the Gorkiest of the Warlords is going to clash head on with the Morkiest of the Warlords. Truly, he is the Ragnarork.

Ork Gitz and Bosses
From da canon: The Beast - Boss Snikrot - Boss Zagstruk - Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka
Grukk Face-Rippa - Mad Dok Grotsnik - Makari - Mek Boss Buzgob
Nazdreg Ug Urdgrub - Old Zogwort - Orkimedes - Tuska Daemon-Killa
Wazdakka Gutsmek - Zhadsnark da Rippa - Zodgrod Wortsnagga
Kaptin Badrukk - Herman von Strab - Ufthak Blackhawk
From da gamez: Brikkfist - Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter - Kaptin Bluddflagg - Grimskull
Mister Nailbrain - Orkamungus - Spookums - Stupid