Hormissar Gaunt

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AwesomeWTF.gifThis article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper, or Matt Ward creating (against all odds) a codex that isn't completely broken on every level. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.
Small Book.pngThe following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

It is considered to be hope to the current Imperium,

It is a master of the swarm and

It is the bane of sandwiches!

It is... what happens when a Tyranid decides to put on a commissar's hat.

What is it?[edit]

Made in a quest thread on /tg/, this tells the story of a mysterious new biomorph that compels hormagaunts to dress and act like Imperials. the original was the hormissar (or if you prefer, "Hormissar Gaunt")was originally a regular gaunt from the hive fleet of hydra, when it suddenly developed sentience.


You are a Hormagaunt. Or at least you think you are. Fuck if you know, your brain can barely process much information beyond "Kill," "Charge," and "Eat." Right now, you are currently standing amid a giant swarm of fellow Hormagaunts. You then realized that you realized where you are. Shouldn't you be hunting, not wasting your time doing ridiculous things like having a mind? You decide to follow your brethren to your next meal, as normally. You wait around as the last of the group finish the remnants of their meal, a rather bothersome group of PDF soldiers. As you wait, you take in your surroundings. You are currently located in what seems to be a desert. No other lifeforms besides you and the other hormagaunts are here. As far as you can see, there is only sand. As you move, you suddenly hear a voice in your head. "MOVE. EAST. FOOD." You notice as the large swarm begins to head eastwards, or at least according to what your instincts tell you.

You head east, searching for rippers to eat. Always nice to have a snack before the main course. Seeing none, or more likely not getting to them before the other members of the swarm, you decide to run ahead of the horde surrounding you. After around an hour of travel, you see what looks to be a bright bolt of light flying at you. It luckily misses you. What had made the mistake of shooting at you appears to be a young human in heavily damaged flak armor. He appears to be screaming while hitting his weapon repeatedly. You wonder if this is your meal before you hear "MEAL. EAT. CONSUME." You assume this is it. You know that the rest of the swarm is a good 30 seconds behind you at least, so you get ready.

You begin to approach the human, hungry. You can see him begin to back up as you approach, trying to fire his weapon to no avail. After being realizing it is of no use to him, he throws it at you and begins to run away. You take this opportunity to pounce, using your powerful hind legs to propel yourself at the man, claws out. Your right claw pierces his back, while your left slices his arm off. The man screams in pain and anger, as you begin to slice him to pieces. Once you finish with your delightful task, you notice he has a sealed container. Inside seems to be a sandwich, which you happily eat before consuming the man himself. As you are around a quarter of the way done with the man, the rest of the swarm arrives, seemingly just as hungry as you are. The remains are quickly devoured, with nothing remaining afterwards.

your instincts instruct you to find a nice hat. Alas, the man has, not a hat, but a helmet! You are saddened by this turn of events, but you decide to keep the helmet with you for now, until you are able to find a suitable replacement. Knowing that you would not be directed for a meal this small, you and the rest of the swarm continue eastward, before quickly coming across a much larger group of humans. These ones seem to be in better shape, but for them that's not saying much. You see one, however, who has a fancy hat!

You know what you must do. As soon as you saw it, you knew it too. You heard the voice. It told you. "HAT. GET." You watch as your brethren charge forward, and get mowed down. You feel like if you had tear ducts, you would shed tears at this. One of the squad of eighteen men, his gun overheating in the hot desert after firing on full auto, begins to run, before being shot by the man with the fancy hat. The rest continue to lay down fire, killing many of your brothers. However, 5 men are quickly killed by the massed charge. The rest back up before resuming fire.

The fancy-hat man fires a few shots with his louder, scarier gun, before he quickly fumbles for another magazine. You know your moment when you see it. You quickly spring from the mound of sand you were hiding behind and decapitate him in one quick swoop. There is a very strange silence that falls on the men as they see their leader killed. Most begin to back off, but they are all quickly overtaken by your brothers. As you watch you take the mans hat, and place it on your head. You feel like the best Hormagaunt ever right now. You decide if you are going to take one part, you will take the rest. You quickly take the mans coat and try to put it on. You are at first frustrated with it, before realizing you need to remove HIS sliced off arms before putting yours. Of course, you end up ripping a hole for your other arms in the coat, but you still look pretty amazing. You feel like the Hive Mind would be proud of you right now. You begin your victory feast with your brothers. If Tyranids can feel joy, then you are now.

You decide to try and use the human's weapon, in hopes that it will be able to serve the hide mind. Perhaps an organic version could be produced somehow, who knows. Regardless, you stare at it for a second. Then a minute. Then half an hour. Your brothers seem to be too busy staring at you in confusion to notice what you are trying to do. After around an hour of simply looking at the strange device, you finally figure out how to use it. Sadly, you accidently shoot one of your brothers in the process, leaving quite a mess. Luckily, your other brothers quickly clean it all up.

You tell your brothers to dress in the clothing of the dead troopers you killed. None of them respond until a voice appears in your head. "LISTEN. ORDERS. FOLLOW." Some of the others attempt to dress in the clothing, but are visibly struggling to understand the idea of not tearing it apart in the first place. By the end of it, you have 5 Hormagaunt-"Guardsmen". While this is going on, you attempt to practice with using the fire arm you looted. The recoil is very strong, you notice, but if you hold it with 3 arms it remains stable. After a while you feel like you've actually gotten the hang of it, but that's not really saying much. You can now fire the gun and aim, but actually hitting your targets is still a challenge to you. Before you can continue, however, you are alerted by the voice once more. "NORTH. FOOD. SCOUT."

Before you head north, you tell your clothed brothers to take the weapons the men were using before. They stare at you for a few moments, before they trudge over and attempt to pick them up. It takes them awhile, and a lot of fumbling around, but they eventually manage to hold the weapons without dropping them while walking. You and your group head northwards. You notice as you go that the grounds begins to change. The desert you were so familiar with begins to vanish. The sand becomes soil. The air becomes less dry. In the distance, you can see trees. Can you eat trees, you wonder. But before that matters, you and your group stop. You see what seems to be a patrol ahead. Luckily, they seem to be slacking off, not doing their jobs, considering they missed a giant swarm of Hormagaunts. You feel it. You know that you must. You cannot resist. You run forward, waving your gun in the air, shouting at the men slacking off about how they are failing at what they are doing, how they are all disgraces and do not deserve the gifts they have been given. How they are failures to the Emperor or something like that, you don't know what's come over you, but you can't control yourself right now. You order them to maintain their watch and prevent invaders from entering the area. When they actually notice you they pause, and stare. You quickly shoot one in the head for disobeying a direct order. The others quickly attempt to grab their weapons, but another two are quickly executed in this manner. One tries to flee and he too is shot. The remaining three are too shocked to actually move. One attempts to salute, and says he will follow orders now properly. The other two stare at him as if he were crazy, before they see the rest of the swarm behind you. They then quickly salute you and do the very same.

You order the men to eat their own friends. They stare at you in shock and disgust before you explain to them that they were nothing but cowards, and they did not deserve to live. When ones ask why he has to eat another human being, you explain that the Emperor needs flesh. He needs biomass in order to fuel his armies. His new armies. You begin to think this hat is influencing you somewhat, but you shake it off. One of the men gets sick of this and grabs his lasgun and open fire. You quikcly respond by shooting him with your bolt pistol. The other two men look at each other, back at you, and slowly get down and attempt to eat their former comrades. You tell your brothers not to harm your new comrades, for they will soon be joined with the glorious hive mind. Soon they will be with us. After the men force down as much as they can (Which is very little) you and your brothers finish off the rest. You take the supplies of the newly deceased guardsmen and add them to your growing swarm. It takes awhile, but you get 2 more hormagaunts into guardsman flak armour, and arm 4 others with the lasguns.

You ask the men where the nearest settlement is. The man tells you that it is due north 6 miles. You send one of your brother forward, in order to scout the forest. While the fellow hormagaunt goes forward, you begin to preach to the entire swarm about the Hive-Emperor, which is what happens once the Tyranids have consumed humanity; the Hive-Mind shall fuse with the God Emperor to form the most powerful being in known existence. You can visibly see one of the guardsman trembling, his mind shattered. You continue your preaching, until you see your scout return. You notice he brought a friend with him: You see what appears to be a Lictor, dragging behind him a dead Imperial Storm Trooper. You nod at the Lictor, who stares at you. You can feel the Lictor judging you behind its emotionless eyes. Suddenly, you see him rip out the Stormtroopers brain and consume it. After one of the guardsmen near you vomits out all that he had eaten recently (his rations and old friends) and one of your brothers cleans up the mess, you notice the lictor seems to attempt to put on the stormtrooper outfit. Or as much as he can, being rather large. You take note of the hellgun on the corpse's body, unsure of what to do with it. You also notice a sealed container on the corpse. Opening it, you see a sandwich. You wish you had tear ducts so you could express your joy at this moment. After quickly consuming the delicious sandwich, you realize you have much to do.

You stare at the las weapon. You can tell just at sight that is the laser weapon you have seen so much. But even better.You holster your bolt pistol and, with the help of one of the guardsman, put on the Hellgun. You tell the Lictor to ambush anyone you meet on your command. It nods, and vanishes from sight. One of the guardsman is shivering in fright still. You turn your head and he forces himself to stop out of fear.

You get to the settlement nice and safely. Surprisingly, there weren't any other guards the whole 6 miles. When asked why, the Guardsman explains that the area was being abandoned by the Imperium, but they didn't have time to get the locals out, nor all of the troopers. You walk into the center of the village. It is around the middle of the night. The moon is out. It is beautiful. You begin to preach to them all of the truth. Of the Hive-Emperor. Of how they shall serve him with their beings. How they shall know true piece. How they shall be one with him for all eternity. Slowly, windows open and some civilians wander out. Once they realize it is a tyranid that is speaking to them, they seem scared and frightened. Some attempt to flee the village. However, your brothers stop them. They are forced back into the center with you.

You explain to them that they are being placed back under Imperial control. The True Imperial control. Many are sobbing, Others are in the fetal position, rocking back in forth. There are a few, however, who have accepted their fate, and are quiet. They are peaceful. You stare at them, and then stare at the others. You decide to offer the unworthies one final chance. You ask them if they can make sandwiches. There is a slight awkward pause, before a few slowly raise their hand. You look at them and order them to make some for you. Now. They quickly get up and run to their homes in order to do so. You order all the rest of the unworthies to be food for your swarm. Many begin running, and crying. But it's too late for them. They are all hunted down and eaten by the swarm. You smile as you are brought numerous sandwiches from the unworthies you kindly spared. You hear a voice in your head. "GOOD. JOB." You feel proud.

You turn your attention to the Lictor, who you christen as Victor. It stares at you with its emotionless eyes, before acknowledging its new name. You tell him to consolidate control over this town while you head out with half of the swarm to capture another town. It nods its head and you notice a drop of water on its face. It seems sad that you are leaving it so soon, but you tell him you shall return with more followers soon. You go to the two guardsman, one of whom is attempting to flirt with some of the townsfolk. He is failing miserably. You decide they deserve new names. You christen the lecherous one as Steak. When asked why you do this, you remind him of how delicious he would taste. One of the girls he was flirting with is giggling while you say this. You decide to find the other guardsman, who you notice to be in the fetal position, unmoving.

You stare at the sniveling wreck that once was a guardsman. He doesn't even acknowledge your presence. You realize what you must do. You call over one of your brothers and tell him what must happen. He stares at you, before nodding. You then carefully execute your brother, and thank him for his sacrifice. You slowly but carefully fuse his body with the guardsman. It takes time, but you end up stitching Hormagaunt arms to the guardsman. You feed him some of the Hormagaunt meat, before you see the newly attached arms begin to twitch on him. You see him stand up, his eyes blank. He has joined. You christen him Guardifex.

Before you leave, you tell Victor to construct a statue of the Hive-Emperor. He looks confused, so you explain to him to build a statute of biomass, shaped similar swarmlord, except in golden power armor, and a more humanoid form. It nods, and you depart.

Right before you finally depart, you hear a voice in the back. It is Steak, who keeps telling you to stop calling him that. He tells you that he acquired transportation: his squads old chimera, along with some old civilian vehicles. You thank him for his efforts, and split the swarm up for the road trip.

As you continue down the road, you stop at a fork in the road. You look around, and take in the surrounding. The trees are starting to thin out and the ground is getting more hilly. You believe to be entering a mountainous region. And then you see something you didn't expect. Another vehicle pulls up next to you. It is much longer and more extravagant than any other vehicle you have ever seen. The window rolls down, and inside you see a human. Or a humanoid figure. Next to it, however, is the unmistakable sight of a genestealer. It waves at you.

You stare at the genestealer. It stares at you. The stare down continues for about 5 minutes.

It's on. The chimera speeds up, but the limo is quicker, and gets ahead. However, luck seems to be on your side, as the rocky terrain makes the limo to have to slow down in order to control itself. The chimera, however, just drives forward, crushing anything in its way with its treads. It is a race between speed and power. You stay neck and neck for quite some time, before the voice returns. "LEFT. GO. TURN." You look left, and there seems to be a small, unused dirt road...

You take the shortcut. With a sharp turn, the tracks spray up a large amount of rocky soil onto the limo. With a large amount of rude gestures and waving claws above Chimeras, you take the turn and speed on ahead. You can hear some screeching from the genestealer limo, but you now have a large lead on them! You lie back, and think of sandwiches while you let Steak drive. You remind him that he tastes delicious and he tries to ignore you, but you can tell it's starting to get to him.

You quickly arrive at the outskirts of the town, and see the limo pull up, knowing they have been defeated. You proceed to stand on top of your Chimera, and proceed to play Stairway to Heaven in air-guitar, while tap dancing. It is a beautiful sight to behold.

You begin to lick steak. He you can tell he is trying to not scream extrenally while this going. After a while, you get bored of this, and begin to fill a container with your saliva and ichor. He stares at you in horror while this is going on. You then demand for him to drink it. When asked what if he didn't you tell him the consequences. He quickly grabs it and chugs the whole thing down. You now tell Steak to scout out the town. He does so, wiping away his tears. He questions his life and existence while he gets out and walks towards the town. You now attempt to convince the genestealers to join you. You explain to the group of the glories of the Hive-Emperor, and how he has brought you many glorious sandwiches and victories. The humanoid hybrids stare in awe at this revelation. Meanwhile, the genestealer rubs its chin with its claw, before nodding in agreement to your propostition.

You decide to check in on Steak. After all, he's been left alone in the town for a long while now. You walk in by yourself, met only by a lot of screaming and people running into their homes and locking their doors. Some back into corners, but none seem to want to fight you. It must be the hat. Bitches love the hat. You search around for Steak, and wonder where he could have gone, before you smell something. You recognize it, as it is something that Steak seems to be fond of. You follow the scent to find a large building full of intoxicated people.

You arrive within the bar. You stare around and notice all the alcoholics. Some are drinking until they collapse. You see one that is attempting to try and drink himself to death, literally Many of them look like Steak. There is only one option left for you. You lick each and every one of them. Most of them are too drunk to care. As you continue your licking, however... you begin to get a little wobbly. You feel strange. One of the men jumps onto one of the tables and begins to dance. It is a drunken jig, not very professional. You know you cannot be defeated, however. You jump on next to him, to defend your honor.

Insert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twqM56f_cVo.

You can feel the rhythm. You can feel the beat. Your limbs are a blur. As you dance, all attention is on you. Your movement is quick and rapid, but careful and precise. As you finish, you spin your hat off. It lands on the head of Steak. He was trying to pick up a rather beautiful young woman. He is now weeping. You're not sure whether it's awe, fear, or both.

You stare at Steak. You stare at the woman he is trying to flirt with. She is clearly drunk, but Steak doesn't seem to mind, considering he's just as, if not more, drunk. Steak wobbles over to you, and asks you to teach him how to dance like that. You tell him that one day, the Hive-Emperor shall grant him the ability to have just as sweet a rhythm as yourself. You then lick him, and the girl. Another girl runs over to you, clearly amazed at your dancing skills. You expertly spin her over into Steak's hands, grab your hat, and make your exit.

You hear a funky beat from up in the air. You look up, and see what looks like a rather small Carnifex. What it lacks in size, however, it makes up for with unnecessary amounts of large golden weights around it's neck. When it notices you, it begins to lay down a kickass beat, that echos throughout the town. You see townspeople leaving their homes and coming out, just to see what is making that beautiful noise. The Carnifex looks around, and then walks off. You make a note to yourself to track down that Carnifex one day.

As with the first town, you begin your preaching. You tell of the great Hive-Emperor, and his glory. You tell of how he has taught you the true meaning of all. The true meaning of man and Tyranid, for they shall be intertwined into a new species. One stronger and better than before. You notice that many of the civilians flee back into their homes, but some stay out and listen. You decide to that those who aren't listening shall embrace the truth of the matter, whether they want to or not. They shall join with the swarm.

somewhere in the midst of this, you pass out.

(after a few hours)

You look around and notice the many sprawled out hormagaunts surrounding you. That explains why you were able to sleep so soundly. You decide to find Steak while you have the time. Going back into the town, you see some Townspeople preparing sandwiches for your army, others being chased around and eaten, and a large crowd gathered outside of the bar from yesterday. Confused, you check it out. You squeeze past the crowd and into the building. From the inside you can hear what sounds like moaning from the floor above. You found Steak.

You decide to go upstairs and lick Steak. While you climb the stairs, you hear some more moaning, before it finally stops and is quiet. You do not ponder why. Instead you open the door, to find what seems to be Steak lying in a bed with a young, red-haired woman. You proceed to walk up and lick Steak before anyone says anything, and then take your leave. Steak is crying while you leave, while the woman is confused.

Also, you decide to fuse some of the other townsfolks with your Hormagaunt swarm. (for fun)

You decide to begin to Hybridize the population. Anyone unwilling to worship shall be fused with one of the Hormagaunts under your command. (The Process of this causes a sort of mind wipe, erasing the person's personality, just letting you guys know.) >You currently have: - 50 Hormagaunts (With 50 more with Victor at the previous town.) - 21 "Guardifexs" (20 Townspeople converted) - 1 Steak (Delicious.) - 1 Lictor (Named Victor) - 1 Hormissar - 500 Townspeople - 50 Sandwich Makers - 5000 Biomass (Once you reach reclamation pools, you'll be able to "spend" the biomass to obtain larger and stronger Tyranids.)

You decide it's properly time to head out. You leave the original "guardifex" in charge, who accepts the role graciously. You take as transport with you your original chimera, the civilian transports for your fellow Hormagaunts, and the Genestealers take their limos. You decide to give Steak your Hellgun, as you don't have as much use for it as he does. Steak, being half dressed at the moment due to being busy procreating a few minutes ago, accepts, if rather rudely. As you head out, the voice in your head tells you "SOUTH. POOL. BIOMASS." You decide that the voice, not having lied to you yet, is trustworthy, and head southwards. You see familiar sights as you approach the reclamation pool. Capillary towers begin to become more and more common. It is refreshing to see something natural to you, rather than the strange sights you've been exposed to recently. You eventually arrive at your destination. Steak is hiding in the chimera, refusing to get out, complaining of something smelling worse than his mother's cooking, or something along those lines. Regardless, you're here.

YOU REALIZE YOUR BIGGEST ERROR. You stare at yourself. (No, not like that, don't be dumb.) You stare at your arms. On the ends, there are no fingers. There are no thumbs. The realization of this makes you want to scream out in terror. >You have spent 100 Biomass to acquire high-quality hands, well-made, hands! It was worth it, you say, twirling your pistol with your newly made hands. >You also spend 1000 Biomass upgrading the Symbiosis technique! People now retain their minds! >You spend 900 acquiring food-rippers! You now have a renewable, food source that, with time, can produce new yields of biomass (And sandwiches)!

With your new hands, you realize now that Steak himself deserves an upgrade! Ignoring his cries for help and tears, you proceed to symbiotically increase his physical capabilities! >For the price of 1200 Biomass, Steak is now immune to most, if not all, known diseases, able to survive a lasgun shot without injury while unarmored, able to emit pheromones to change moods, and able to run up to 15 Miles Per Hour for extended periods of time.

You proceed to explain to Steak his new powers. He is too busy screaming and running in circles and having a panic attack. You laugh it off, lick him, and give him a pinch before going on with your plans.

You spend the rest of your Biomass acquiring biobolts for your bolt pistol, biolasguns, and Termagants! (Am I the only one who wonders why it's TermaGANT and HormaGAUNT?) >You spend 1500 for 150 Termagants, 50 biomass for 300 biobolts, 200 biomass for 20 biological lasguns, and 50 biomass for 200 bio-laspacks.

You decide it's finally time to head out. You wave goodbye to the lovely capillary towers, and begin your journey southward to the next town. While you drive, you get an odd urge. You stand up, and open the top of the Chimera. You begin to wave one of your scythes above you menicingly while the chimera drives you toward the town.

As you approach the town, you notice a sudden difference in the same area. The road becomes much less dusty, and is more solidly formed. You seem to be approaching a more urban area, so you may encounter some resistance here.

You decide it is high time you gain the respect you deserve. After an hour or so of drilling everyone into proper formation, you begin a parade formation entry upon the town. The few guardsman in the town, who were inside of the first few buildings, stare in confusion at the Tyranids who are marching orderly into the town, unable to comprehend the event occuring in front of them. When they finally see you, one of them seems to puts two and two together, and runs outside. The others scream at him to get back, calling him a variety of insults regarding his ancestors and his level of intelligence. He seems to be trying to speak to you.

You decide to allow him to speak to you. As he walks up, you tell him that when he addresses you, he will begin with "Sir!" and end with "Hormissar, sir!" He addresses you, and asks, in the most serious voice, that, due to you wearing a commissar uniform, if you are the soul of a commissar who, after being eaten, took control of a Tyranid's body, and returned to fight for the Imperium.

You confirm his belief (But you are not sure of it yourself) and warn him that you need his help securing the town. He seems happy, and runs back to tell his comrades the good news. You soon have a squad of 10 guardsmen standing in front of you. Most of them are eyeing you suspiciously. You ask them if there is any heavy support in the area. According to them, there is an old Leman Russ somewhere in town, but it isn't in very good condition and needs to be repaired.

You do not have the biomass to give life to the tank! Instead, you order some of your guardifexes to begin repairing the tank. They salute you and run off. In the meanwhile, you order the rest to begin preaching the words of the Hive-Emperor to the rest of the town. They salute and run off. Their lack of personality is starting to get to you. The whole time, the squad of guardsmen are still still standing at attention in front of you.

You tell them that of the truth of the Hive-Emperor. Immediately, 7 of them scramble for their weapons, but are pinned down by hormagaunts. You tell them that it is time for them to join with Him, and be part of Him.

You decide now to send in the new squad of Guardifexes into the town to soothe the populace. Led by the newly named Meat, they head into the town. Around an hour later, you see a large swarm of civilians coming out of the town. You see Meat, leading them forward, like a prophet to his people. He begins to preach to the assembled civilians of the glories of the Hive-Emperor, and how they must come to love him as he loves them. He directs their attention to you, proclaiming you as a sign that the Emperor has decided to allow humanity to ascend as a new life-form, where they shall all be connected with one another. As all attention is put on you, you quickly think of something clever to say.


You wave your claw-hand and say "Hi." to the civilians. There is an awkward pause for a moment. Meat quickly attempts to explain that you are very modest, and etc. He finally finishes, giving you time to speak.

After having meat speak for awhile, you decide to speak again. You actually have thought of something to say this time too. You proudly welcome them as new members of the Hive-Emperor's domain, and explain to them how it is your pleasure to help them advance to true prosperity in His eyes. You then explain to the civilians the new justice system. Anyone who breaks a law must submit an equal part of their body as punishment in order to help fuel the Hive-Emperor's armies.

(Eye for an eye, etc. stealing= donate hand assault= donate extremities that were damaged by your assault to the effected individual. rape= donated organ chosen at random, we expect a major influx of these due to Genestealers being citizens. killing= whole body donation used to replace the killed individual.)

The civilians seem confused by all of the new information being presented to them...

Now, the Voices in your head are conflicting, one side says "IMPRESS. GET. TRUST." the other says "MAKE. EXAMPLE. NOW."


You look up. In the middle of Meat speaking to the civilians, you stand up.

(OP decided to roll a d20 to get a result. he got a 20, I shit you guys not.)

You begin to dance. There is an awkward quiet due to your sudden outburst. Suddenly, however, you jump on top of the Chimera. You begin to spin around, your limbs impossible to be seen in the fast movements you are preforming. The civilians are in awe. Everyone is quiet, and their eyes are on you. Slowly, everyone begins to clap a beat, as your movements inspire them. You have just begun the biggest party that this town has ever had. Slowly but surely, everyone joins in, dancing and singing and simply enjoying themselves. It is a glorious sight.

After spending the entire night partying, you decide it's about high time to begin to actually set up some sort of system of government in the new town. You decide to leave Meat with the town, considering he knows the locals well. In the meantime, you decide to attempt to get a supply-line throughout your three towns made.

Before you leave the town, you ask to see the Leman Russ that is in the town. You are led to a beaten down, rusty tank that hardly looks like it could have ever moved in the first place. However, one of the locals turns it on, and sure enough, it moves, albeit extremely slowly. Human technology is strange. Before you leave, you decide to get everything set up here. You acquire a supply of 15 Lasguns and 75 Laspacks from the local barracks. You give out 10 Lasguns to the civilians for defense, along with their own personal weapons (Which many seem to own) along with 5 laspacks per lasgun. You keep the rest for yourself. You declare the old mayor's building to be the new head of government for the town. You station Meat here to keep control over the town.

You decide now to head back to the reclamation pool.

As you travel, you notice the familiar features re-appear in the land. You see the many capillary towers. You know this place is alive, and it knows you are too. You see the pool appear up ahead!

You first decide to get the Leman Russ working. Slowly but surely, the tank descends into the Reclamation Pool... >4 Hours Later. What drives out is no longer truly a machine, Half metal, half flesh, words cannot truly describe what it is. What was once rust is now covered with hard chitin. The tank's machine spirit, now truly alive, must truly be happy.

You decide to add something else to the tank... But what? After a period of time having your entire force stand around staring at you and wondering why you aren't doing anything, you realize what needs to be done. >The tank now has a tail.

You give Steak a lick, and compliment on how he still tastes delicious. He starts shaking uncontrollably for a few minutes. In the meantime, you decide it is time to give him a present for all of his contributions! You go and find Taters, the woman you found Steak with before. You tell her that it is time for her to become upgraded, and join with the Hive-Emperor. She seems delighted, and rushes forward. Taters descends slowly into the Reclamation Pool. Steak, seemingly knowing whats going to happen, starts screaming about Bio-Plasma breasts and other silly things. Oh Steak, you are so silly sometimes. You give him a big lick to calm him down. >2 Hours Later. Slowly, something ascends from the reclamation pool. It's Taters. She looks the same... Steak runs forward, seemingly relieved about something. Taters laughs in response, before mandibles shoot out of her, blades shoot out of her arms, and a tail seems to come out of nowhere.

After around 10 minutes of Steak screaming and crying, Taters explains that all of her gifts are retractable, thus allowing her to appear normal to the average human. >Taters now has been upgraded! Along with all the explained upgrades, she also has received increased strength, endurance, and attachment to Steak. Also bio-plasma breasts.

-MEANWHILE, ON A SHIP ABOVE THE PLANET- "Lord Inquisitor! We have reports of Tyranid infestations on the plane- Are.. are you having sex with a Lictor?" "...Um...No?" -NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING-

You get the Ripper Spawn Pool! You scoop up some of the reclamation pool, and manage to set up, with help, a smaller pool inside the Leman Russ, which you name Wuffles. Wuffles wags itself tail happily.

You also get a bunch of Rippers. You now have have 1100 Rippers! Your whole swarm of Rippers is adorable. You want to lick each and everyone of them. You lick Steak instead.

-MEANWHILE IN ORBIT- "Do I even WANT to know why you were having... relations with a Lictor?" "I'M TELLING YOU IT WANTED IT. GOD-EMPEROR DAMNIT, WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?" -Now Back to your Regularly Scheduled Programming-

You decide it's about time to head out. After getting everyone to get in their vehicles, and licking Steak a numerous amount of times, (You think his reaction is actually getting worse the more you do it) you depart from the reclamation pool, and begin to return to the second town that you had conquered.

You approach the town, noticing as the area becomes more mountainous. The air becomes noticeably chillier, which seems to unnerve some of the newer "guardifexes". Taters, meanwhile, seems to be enjoying the chill and thinner air of her hometown. Steak is beside her, seemingly trying to have a moment. You feel you'd better not disturb them...

You decide to let them have their fun. In the meanwhile, you enter the second town, which you now know actually has a name (Tatain.) You are welcomed in by crowds of civilians, with the original "guardifex" at the front. ... <to be continued>