Jopall Indentured Guard

From 1d4chan

"Oh... OH, THAT I HATE."

Corvus Corax, upon learning how Jopall's people are treated

"They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with, "just kidding." "

– Daniel Tosh
Their government is so stingy they make their soldiers fight in their pajamas, which to be fair are just as effective as the usual guardsman T-shirt

The Jopall Indentured Guard (Also Jopall Indentured Squadrons, or Jopal, because no one at GW can figure out if the name of the place has 1 or 2 "l's") are an Imperial Guard regiment hailing from the planet with that same name. Jopall is an agri-world ruled by a cutthroat, decadent, aristocratic corporatocracy that makes it so that anyone born (and sometimes not born but unlucky enough to get stranded) on the planet instantly owes a massive debt to the state. The only way for citizen to pay it off is to either become a debt slave to some corrupt landlord, or join the planet's local IG regiment.

As there is no guarantee that said corrupt landlords won't simply continue to make up reasons to add on to one's debt for the rest of eternity, it is no wonder the Indentured Guard never lacks for recruits, for many even facing off a horde of Orks with a flashlight is a preferable end to becoming some degenerate plutocrat's personal plaything. It also turns out their pay depends on the number enemies of the Imperium they manage to vanquish, so every Ork they kill with that flashlight is another step to sweet economic freedom.

Seeing as how they won't be able to enjoy said freedom if they get killed, they aren't too keen on the whole "suicidal bravery" thing most of the Imperial Guard are known. Their entire doctrine is based on fighting defensively and at distance, and they diligently keep track of their kills for later recompense. These multiple factors have given them a reputation of being both greedy and cowardly among other regiments, who are also appalled by the Indentured Guard's relaxed and some would say "unprofessional" command structure.

This all makes it sound like they are no better than some backwater penal regiment composed of poorly trained soldiers forced into service against their will. It reality, it's precisely because they are incentivized to eliminate as many enemies as possible combined with their desire to stay alive as long as possible that they have been molded into a collection of surprisingly cunning lil' bastards, having mastered the art of maximizing enemy casualties with as little resources as necessary. The previously mentioned relaxed command structure also means they are allowed *gasp* individual thinking. In fact, guardsmen who come up clever ways to fuck up the enemy with minimum effort are outright rewarded financially to encourage further displays of outside the box badassery. Quite remarkable seeing how many soldiers that dare to show such self-initiative get *BLAMMED* in other regiments for not following commands to the letter.

One story that exemplifies this curious approach to warfare occurred at the siege of a Hive city during the Third War of Armageddon. A group of Jopall guardsmen bribed an Ork Mekboy from the Blood Axes by "selling" him a bunch of Basilisks loaded with ammo and (unbeknownst to the Ork) plastic explosives. After paying the humans the Mekboy then proceeded to present this gift to his Warboss, at which point the explosives were detonated, killing off a shit-ton of Orks, including the Warboss, while the humies laughed all the way to the bank. (They did get demoted for taking and destroying IG equipment without authorization but became the most popular guardsmen in the Hive after that).

During that same conflict they also fought alongside, and earned the undying scorn of the Krieg Death Korps. The the Jopall Indentured Squadrons are the antithesis of everything a Krieg guardsman stands for, fighting for profit instead of duty, actively avoiding danger instead of gladly giving their lives for the Emprah and carrying themselves in a manner (from the Death Korps perspective) unbecoming of soldiers. They do credit them for marksmanship though. The Jopallians for their part see the Kriegers as utter doormats... which is basically true, given the average Kreiger's view of their own self-worth.

Regiments of the Imperial Guard
Armageddon Ork Hunters - Armageddon Steel Legion - Athonian Tunnel Rats
Attilan Rough Riders - Brontian Longknives - Cadian Shock Troops
Catachan Jungle Fighters - Death Korps of Krieg - Dieprian Mountain Men
Drookian Fen Guard - Elysian Drop Troops - Gilead Gravediggers
Harakoni Warhawks - Indigan Praefects - Kanak Skull Takers
Jopall Indentured Guard - Last Chancers - Maccabian Janissaries
Mordant Acid Dogs - Mordian Iron Guard - Phantine Air Corps
Phantine Skyborne - Praetorian Guard - Roane Deepers
Savlar Chem Dogs - Scintillan Fusiliers - Tallarn Desert Raiders
Tanith First (And Only) - Terrax Guard - Valhallan Ice Warriors
Vostroyan Firstborn - Ventrillian Nobles