Kanak Skull Takers

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I'm too manly for my shirt, too manly for a lasgun, so manly it hurts

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."

- Robert E. Howard, author of Conan

Kanak is a lovely little planet, wracked with boiling veins of molten-hot magma that will sear your skin off before you can say "convection".

Its occupants are, as one would expect, tough as three day-old steaks. They are barbaric, tattoo-covered maniacs who slaughter their enemies and take their heads in the name of the Emperor, forming up the bulk of the crazy sons-of-bitches that make up the Kanak Skull Takers. One wonders why they haven't fallen to Khorne yet.

The Imperial Guard (for better or worse) have taken it upon themselves to use the Kanakian's military service as a means to an end of civilising them, hoping that they will take back the more boring and "civilised" approach that such a duty entails back to their home planet, which is kind of a bit like "The Flintstones", but with more inter-tribal warfare and rape. It is also kind of dumb since Imperial Guard duty is for life and there is no "retirement" unless you are granted right of conquest. Which means even if the Guard succeeds in civilizing the Skull Takers, it won't do any good for their homeworld. On the bright side, they probably took very well to the harsh nature of Imperial Guard discipline. As in be respectful and stand in formation or you will be publicly tortured as an example to your fellows.

Units & Weaponry[edit]

It is noted that the population are so far removed from the rest of the Imperium, that they very closely resemble Ogryn, doubtless meaning that they can discuss Shakespeare with the Platoon's friendly resident Ogryn Bone'Ead while eating pastries and complimenting each other's ritual scars and tattoos. Because they get along like a house on fire, Ogryns are often deployed with Karnak regiments.

They are also known to field Rough Riders, because charging Chaos Space Marines on horse, waving axes about and whooping like native Americans like in old westerns is pretty boss.

These guys hate heavy weaponry and vehicles, instead taking the manly approach and picking up the nearest axe and hitting something very hard in the neck with it. If they had to take a heavy weapon, it would be a Heavy Flamer, mostly because burning shit into dust is awesome in any language.

History[edit]

The Kanak Skulltakers were first mentioned in the 3rd Edition Imperial Guard Codex.

You probably shouldn't mention the 5th Edition Imperial Guard codex (and its subsequent removal of Regimental Doctrines like "Warrior Weapons", which allowed for an awesome melee Guard army) or they will be very sad.

Modelling[edit]

  • Step One: Buy a box of Chaos Marauders. File off Chaos Stars and whathaveyou.
  • Step Two: Buy Catachan bitz from your bitz-selling online store of choice, notably arms holding las-pistols and grenades. Ork/Orc bitz can be used too, like the skulls that come one their sprues.
  • Step Three: Throw them together.
  • Step Four: Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

Now, how's that for a slice of fried gold?

Gallery[edit]

Regiments of the Imperial Guard
Armageddon Steel Legion - Attilan Rough Riders - Brontian Longknives - Cadian Shock Troops
Catachan Jungle Fighters - Death Korps of Krieg - Drookian Fen Guard - Elysian Drop Troops
Harakoni Warhawks - Kanak Skull Takers - Last Chancers - Maccabian Janissaries - Mordian Iron Guard
Phantine Air Corps - Phantine Skyborne - Praetorian Guard - Savlar Chem Dogs - Scintillan Fusiliers
Tallarn Desert Raiders - Tanith First (And Only) - Terrax Guard - Valhallan Ice Warriors - Vostroyan Firstborn