Lord Skrolk

From 1d4chan
Won't bathe
Won't change
Won't wipe
Won't leave

Lord Skrolk, Plaguelord of Clan Pestilens, is a Skaven special character in Warhammer Fantasy. Introduced in 4th edition (like virtually every other skaven special character), Skrolk is a crusty, ancient skaven with a fanatical devotion to the Pope the religious dogma of his Clan. And by crusty, we mean hideously diseased to the point that he radiates an aura of pestilence that congeals the very air around him with its vile putridness. Only the most fervent of Plague Monks can stand his presence and insects straight up die when they come near him. Suffice to say, he probably smells quite bad and would not be allowed into cons.

Despite being all shriveled up and thoroughly rotted through, like a cantaloupe left out in the sun for weeks before being injected with the pestilential favors of the Horned Rat, he's quite spry and incredibly strong. If anything, this walking Petri dish of a rat man is only further strengthened with each new disease he contracts, to the point where his multitude of sicknesses pretty much are his lifeforce. The best part of all this is that the disgusting visible parts of his body are actually implied to be much better looking than whatever he has hidden under his voluminous rotting robes.

Skrolk's indomitable faith renders him uncommonly loyal to Nurglitch, the leader of Clan Pestilens and its representative on the Council of 13. Skrolk was so impressed when he saw Lord Nurglitch's corruption that he actually tore his own eyes out because he thought nothing else would ever look as good. Apparently this act of devotion so impressed the Horned Rat (or Lord Nurglitch maybe), that Skrolk was granted magical sight. Of course, given that the Horned Rat's benevolence is... not so benevolent, he can only see in vivid hues of decay, but that's enough to give him disturbingly preternatural reflexes that would be considered amazing even for a Skaven with both eyes intact. Daredevil, eat your heart out.

In truth, Skrolk more resembles a Chaos Champion of Nurgle than a Skaven, but his heart beats only for the Horned Rat. In battle, his unrelenting faith drives him into fanatical frenzy. He wields the mighty Rod of Corruption, a spiked, gnarled staff covered in runes of horrific plague power (which is twice as efficient as nuclear, or so Clan Pestilens says). As if the spikes and accursed runes weren't enough, the staff is decorated with many plague censers of various sizes and weights, all of which release a constant cloud of foul incense to compliment his already horrific odor. These allow the staff to function as a flail in combat, with Skrolk lashing it around to crush his enemies. Oh, it's also such a virulent, deadly weapon that those individuals it hits stand a decent chance of instantly rotting into a pool of disgusting goo, which is pretty goddamn metal to be honest. To add a moldy cherry on top of this pestilential murder cake, Skrolk is a powerful wizard, steeped in the lore of Clan Pestilens plague magic, and also totes around one of the original tomes of the Liber Bubonicus, the founding document of the entire plague faith. In between bouts of frenzied enemy-melting with his Rod (giggity), Skrolk will shriek out spells or verses from the moldy pages of this "toxic tome". They don't always do something cool, but Skrolk doesn't care. It's as much about sheer faith as it is about magic. And of course, when one of those verses channeled through Skrolk's power unleashes a pox upon his foes in the middle of battle that causes them to die in hideous new ways, Skrolk isn't going to complain.

In The End Times, Lord Skrolk leads Clan Pestilens' attacks against the Lizardmen in Lustria. He liquefies Grimloq, the beloved carnosaur mount of Lizardmen general Kroq-Gar, with one strike of the Rod of Corruption. This sends Kroq-Gar into an ever greater state of RAGE (pretty impressive considering he's already pretty RAGEY to begin with) and he promptly grabs the Rod of Corruption with his magic prosthetic claw, smashes it, then impales Skrolk on his spear, the aftermath of which probably looked like something off of TLC's Dr. Pimple Popper show. Before Kroq-Gar could cover Skrolk in hydrogen peroxide to really seal the deal, the Verminlord Vermalanx saved the Plaguelord, (presumably saying something along the lines of, "Oh god, it's everywhere! I think some of it got in my mouth!") later resurrecting him through the power of the Horned Rat, which just goes to show you that someone might still love and appreciate you even if you never shower, apply deodorant, or do any other form of personal grooming whatsoever.

Just kidding, don't be a Skrolk.

We haven't really heard anything about him in the Age of Sigmar, but some of us like to think he's still out there in some form, turning enemies into toxic goo and spreading the good, rotten word of the Horned Rat.

He also makes an appearance in Total War: WARHAMMER, where he's one of the starting lords for Skaven, along with Queek Head-Taker, serving as the caster to Queek’s melee focus. Though Skrolk is still no slouch in close combat. He unsurprisingly starts in the middle of Lustria, which has recently become as crowded as rush hour Manhattan due to all the other legendary lords that also start there.

Infamous Skaven
Deathmaster Snikch - Ghoritch - Ikit Claw - Klawmunkast - Lord Skrolk
Morbus Sanguis - Queek Head-Taker - Skreet Verminkin - Skweel Gnawtooth
Thanquol - Throt the Unclean - Tretch Craventail