Mad Dok Grotsnik

From 1d4chan

"Wen da patient woke up, iz skeleton wuz missin', an' da dok wuz never 'eard from again! (laughs)' dat's 'ow I got chased outta me old klan."

– Meet The Medic Mad Dok Grotsnik

If not for Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka, Mad Dok Grotsnik would probably be dead by now (Vice versa is also true, however). The Ork equivalent of the Team Fortress 2 Medic, this madman (or madork) cares for nothing more than perfecting the art of 'serjery'. Due to constant bionic upgrades and such, he's now more demented than ever. His rise to fame started when a certain Ork wandered into his office with a serious head injury. Grotsnik recognized an opportunity to try something new, and that Ork left with a adamantium skullcap. Later some Nobz saw that the new Warboss was a dead 'ard killing machine after Grotsnik fixed him up with an adamantium skull. They decided they liked the idea, and all the Nobz in the settlement came to him for the same treatment.

Grotsnik decided he might want some insurance when the Nobz realized that a metal skull doesn't equate to being blessed by Gork and Mork, and leverage in case any issue arose between them. So Grotsnik hid a grenade under each new skull he fitted, and whenever a Nob crossed Grotsnik, he later came down with a case of exploding head. Pissed off when they found out, but unable to confront him directly for fear of literally losing their heads, the Nobz arranged for him to have an "accident" with a "malfunctioning" Deff Dred that they thought would kill him. The end result was an almost dead Grotsnik with his own head sliced open.

But he wasn't dead, and Grotsnik ended up on his own 'serjery' table to be worked upon by his Gretchin assistants. They somehow did manage to resuscitate him despite one of them puking onto his brain and another losing his pet spider in Grotsnik's skull. While an impressive feat for Gretchin, they were still Gretchin, so they didn't actually do that great of a job when working out how to reassemble his brain pan. Back from the dead, a little worse for wear but with his memory intact, Grotsnik celebrated with singing with fireworks to show that you don't fuck with Grotsnik!


Just like with the Medic, any actual healing that this lunatic grants you is simply a fortunate side-effect. The only reason he's still allowed to keep doing his thing is because he's the one who patched Ghazghkull's skull with adamantium after it got blasted apart by a lucky Bolter round. In return, Ghazghkull was grateful not just for Grotsnik saving his life, but also because the surgery gave him the famous vision by Gork and Mork to conquer the galaxy.

Grotsnik actually has a seat on Ghaz's inner council and Ghaz still lets him operate on him. Every once in a while, Grotsnik is actually lucid and sane, and during these moments he's both a smart doctor and a good advisor that's actually saved Ghaz's life on several other occasions. That the mad doctor suspiciously becomes sane whenever Ghaz needs him for something really lends weight to Ghaz's claim that Gork and Mork are watching over him. Recently, he is experimenting on creating Franken-Ork, forming "Da Corpse Lootas" consisting of Deathskulls, Painboyz, Freebooterz, and his own "Stitchboyz" to steal dead bodies from the battlefield (and make them if there are none) for Grotsnik to use as spare parts. Even more recently he seems to have managed to perform the Frankenstein treatment on Ghazghkull himself. After Ragnar Blackmane went and chopped Ghaz’s head off (though not before Ghaz beat the wolf so badly he needed the Primaris treatment to survive) the Mad Ork was once more forced to save his boss’ life.

But once again he had trouble with Nobz. This time several of them thought Ghazghkull should just die and that one of them should take his place. These Nobz broke Grotsnik's surgery to kill them both. They grabbed Grotsnik just after he finished the surgery, having attached Ghazghkull's head onto an even bigger body conveniently giving GW an excuse to sell new models of both Ghaz and Ragnar. Fortunately for Grotsnik, Ghazghkull had just woken up, and he made short work of their would-be killers.

On the Tabletop[edit]

On the tabletop, he can make any unit Fearless, and grants it Feel No Pain as well. He can even upgrade another squad with Cybork bodies, including Meganobz. The best bit stem from the fact that he's One Scalpel Short of a Medpack (no, like, that's the rule's actual name), which means he gives his squad Rampage, and the rule that he's not allowed to leave units by default. Him upgrading a squad of regular Orks is a prohibitively expensive cost, so he's much better with Meganobs since they're more likely to be outnumbered in a scrap and thus take advantage of Rampage.

Ork Gitz and Bosses
From da canon: The Beast - Boss Snikrot - Boss Zagstruk - Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka
Grukk Face-Rippa - Mad Dok Grotsnik - Makari - Mek Boss Buzgob
Nazdreg Ug Urdgrub - Old Zogwort - Orkimedes - Tuska Daemon-Killa
Wazdakka Gutsmek - Zhadsnark da Rippa - Zodgrod Wortsnagga
Kaptin Badrukk - Herman von Strab - Ufthak Blackhawk
From da gamez: Brikkfist - Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter - Kaptin Bluddflagg - Grimskull
Mister Nailbrain - Orkamungus - Spookums - Stupid