Makari

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"Sumweah, e'z up dere lootin' wit Gork" "Mork, boss." *whack* "DUN YOU ZOGGIN' CORRECT ME."

Once upon a time (read: 2nd edition) Ghazghkull had a personal standard bearer, Makari the Gretchin. He was quite fond of Makari. Makari had no battle application, he had no guns and poorer fighting ability than a Guardsman. But he had a banner, a BIG banner, that he waved about eagerly. In fact, so eagerly he often got shot at, but Makari was a special Gretchin. He was ridiculously lucky, so lucky in fact, he had an unmodifiable 2+ save (equivalent of a 2+ invul save) and lived to the age of nine standard years (which, when one considers the pitifully short life-span of most Grots, makes him an old man). So walking into the most dangerous battlezones in the whole of the grimdark Universe was one plucky little Gretchin with a banner, standing side-by-side with the most powerful Ork in existence.

Then Games Workshop decided that big bad Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka having a personal Gretchin wasn't grimdark enough. So big G sat on Makari by accident and fed him to a squig.

Fuck. That.

After several years of regret, GW decided that they had been mean to Makari and paid tribute to him in the 7th edition ork codex. Now Makari's banner pole is a relic, and the most useful one in the codex.

The Truth about Makari[edit]

Orks are creatures of war and death. Deprived of it they waste away as other species would deprived a vital part of their diet. It is the slowest and most agonizing death an Ork can face. But that is not to say that Orks do not have a kind side, a decent side. A side that allows them to feel fondness of others.

"Oi, Boss, where ya goin'?" asked Graknob, before a sharp smack to the back of the head from one of his fellow Nobs silenced him. Ghazghkull Thraka, greatest Ork Warlord the Orkoid race has ever seen, did not even stop in his plodding steps as he walked away from his main tent in the camp. Some of the boyz had objected to moving the Waaagh off course to visit this small, unknown, out of the way planet. 'Itz already been smashed, why we'z goin' here?' some had asked, but never loud enough for the boss to hear. The Nobz waited for their mega-armored warboss to be out of earshot before answering the new member of Ghazghkull's retinue.

"'E's off rememberin'" said one, an old Ork named Griksnak who had served their boss for many many years.

"'E can remember jus' fine round 'ere. What's 'e rememberin'?" asked the curious Nob, uncaring of the death-stares he was receiving from his fellow Nobz.

"Think 'bout it dis way, ya git. Us Orks love ta fight, yeah?"

"Yeah, even a snotling knows dat!"

"But da boss keeps sendin' us 'gainst da 'umies. Dis is cuz 'e hates dem. Now, why'd da boss hate 'umies?"

Graknob remained silent for a few seconds, pondering the question he was asked. "Cuz dey got ugly faces?"

The other Nobz just shook their heads. "'E lost someone ta 'em." Graknob looked around, confused. Everyone knew it didn't matter if an Ork died, he just got belched back into another body. He couldn't understand the feeling of loss.

Ghazghkull had shed most of his mega armor by the time he got to the top of the hill. Being an Ork, the act of removing armor seemed... unusual, to say the least, but it seemed appropriate to approach this site somewhat vulnerable. After all, he was meeting with the one being he knew would never harm him.

"'ey. Uhh... not sure what's I suppose'ta say 'ere. Jus' wanted tah, y'know, say 'ello. See how ya's was. Dose 'umies who got dat lucky shot off on ya? Yeah, dey dead. 'Dere planet is dead. Got lotsa da bastards. 'Ope dat helps out somehow. Wells... I's be goin', den. I... I misses ya, boy." Ghazghkull Mag Thraka turned and began walking down the hill again, leaving the grave he had been speaking to behind. A grave that simply said:

Makari

Banna Wava

Everyone knew Orks were belched back into another body after they died. Not Gretchin though. No Gretchin could ever replace Makari.

GeeDubs hates our fun[edit]

The May 30th, 2014 White Dwarf issue had a short question-and-answer column with Ghazghkull. The first question everyone pounced on was "what happened to Makari?" to which Ghazghkull got all defensive. "I aint got time to talk about no good-fer-nuffin grots!" he bellowed.

Canonically, GeeDubs is standing by their "Makari got sat on" story. Indeed, that's the script they had Ghazghkull read from. But they way he answered it is just begging to have more fanfics written about it. "Everyone knows an ork sits where dey wants..." the big ork said with a gruff, a small choking feeling forming in the bottom of his throat. "...so it was 'is fault... not mine!" GeeDubs barely had time to shut the microphones off before the feed was drowned out with the sounds of sobbing.

Well, It's something[edit]

Just as we thought that GeeDubs was trying to get us to forget everything about Makari, the 7th Edition Ork Codex brings us the Relic "Da Lucky Stikk". It functions just like a WAAAGH Banner, with the addition of letting the bearer reroll ALL failed saving throws - But, if you fail three saving throws with that model in a single turn, the bearer instantly dies. That isn't the best part of this pretty great wargear: The description says that Da Lucky Stikk is the banner of the late Makari, and that it is constantly fought over and collected from dead Warbosses, as it is believed to have magical abilities that protects the wearer and allows them to gain a bit of the power wielded by ol' Ghazzy himself.

The Legacy of Makari lives.

Ork Gitz and Bosses
From da canon: The Beast - Boss Snikrot - Boss Zagstruk - Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka
Grukk Face-Rippa - Mad Dok Grotsnik - Makari - Mek Boss Buzgob
Orkimedes - Tuska Daemon-Killa - Wazdakka Gutsmek - Zhadsnark
From da gamez: Brikkfist - Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter - Kaptin Bluddflagg - Grimskull
Mister Nailbrain - Orkamungus - Spookums - Stupid