Makbeff

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Small Book.pngThe following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.
Makbeff choppa.jpg

MAKBEFF

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE-A EMPTY PLACE

(THUNDA AND LIGHTNIN'. ENTA MANY WYRDBOYZ)

BIG WYRDBOY: OI! WHEN SHALL WE MEETS AGAIN? IN THUNDA, LIGHTNIN' OR WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

ALL DA WYRDBOYZ: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

MEDIUM WYRDBOY: WHEN DER WAAAAAGH'S DONE, WEN DAT FIGHTIN'S WON AND WON

SMALL WYRDBOY: DAT'LL BE BEFORE DA FALLIN' SUN

BIG WYRDBOY: WHERE BE DA PLACE?

MEDIUM WYRDBOY: ON DA SQUIG

SMALL WYRDBOY: DERE TO MEET DIS MAKBEFF

BIG WYRDBOY: I BE COMIN' GRAYMALKIN YA GIT!

MEDIUM WYRDBOY: OI, IS DAT DA PADDOCK CALLIN'?

SMALL WYRDBOY: WOT?

ALL DA WYRDBOYZ: CUNNIN' IS BRUTAL AND BRUTAL IS CUNNIN'! RIDE TO DA SMOKE AN' DAKKA.

ALL DA WYRDBOYZ: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

(DEY LEAVES NOW)



MAKBEFF

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE-IN DA CENTA' OF DA FORTRESS

(BANKO AN' FLEANK BE COMIN' WIF BURNAS NOW)

BANKO: SURE IS DARK

FLEANK: DAT BE RIGHT BOSS

BANKO: TAKE MY CHOPPA', IT BE TOO DARK OUT I WANT TO SLEEP AN' GET READY FOR THE WAAAGH BUT I BE ITCHIN' TO FIGHT FORGET DAT, GIVE ME MY CHOPPA' BACK.

(NOW MAKBEFF AN' A GROT WITH A BURNA' BE COMIN' IN)

OI! WHO BE DAT!

MAKBEFF: DAT BE ME, YA GIT!

BANKO: OI! YOU STILL BE UP? DUNKAN BE A NAPPIN' HE HAD A PROPA' WAAAGH AN' BE GIVIN' YOU LOTS O' FLASH AN' DAKKA TO SHOW YOU BE A PROPA' NOB HE ALSO BE GIVIN' ME A BIG SHINY ROCK DAT I SHOULD BE GIVIN' TO YA POINTY HUMIE.

MAKBEFF: I BE FINKIN' I BE NOT A GOOD ENOUGH NOB, NOT HAVIN' ENOUGH FLASH FOR MY WAAAGHBOSS

BANKO: DAT MAKES SENSE. I ALSO BE FINKIN' OF DOSE WYRDBOYZ, DAT DEY NOT BE MUCKIN' ABOUT AN' BE TALKIN' SOME SENSE

MAKBEFF: I BE NOT FINKIN' OF SUCH THINGS, DAT BE MUKKIN' ABAHT BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE SAYIN' MORE FINGS DEN WE CAN BE TALKIN' ABOUT DIS SOME UVVER TIME

BANKO: SURE FING

MAKBEFF: AN' DON'T BE TALKIN' BOUT SUCH FINGS FOR NOW WHEN IT BE RIGHT DEN WE CAN AN' I BE GIVIN' YOU SOME FLASH DAKKA DEN

BANKO: SO I BE LOSIN' NOTHIN' IN TRYIN' TO GET MORE? I BE DOIN' NOTHING AT ALL DEN

MAKBEFF: DAT BE A GOOD IDEA, YOU BEST BE SLEEPIN' NOW

BANKO: GOOD IDEA, YOU BE DOIN' THE SAME SOON

(BANKO AN' FLEANK BE GOIN' NOW)

MAKBEFF: GROT! GO TO ME PANZEE SHE BE MAKIN' SOMETHIN' FOR ME AN' BE RINGIN' A BELL AN' DEN YOU BE HEADIN' OFF TO BED

(DA GROT ALSO BE GOIN' NOW)

IS DIS A CHOPPA' I SEES BEFORE ME? WIF' DIS BIG HANDLE, I BE USIN' IT NOW IT BE NOT IN ME HAND, BUT I BE SEEIN' IT DERE IT BE RIGHT AN' SHARP I SEE I BE FEELIN' ODD SEEIN' AN' HOLDIN' IT SO BE I MUCKIN' ABOUT AN' DIS BE ALL UNREAL FROM ME CONFUSED MIND? I BE SEEIN' IT BUT NOW I BE HOLDIN' IT IT BE POINTIN' TOWARDS DA WAAAGHBOSS AS IT BE WANTIN' TO BE KRUMPIN' HIM MY EYES BE MUCKIN' ABOUT OR NOT BE MUCKIN' ABOUT, CUZ I BE SEEIN' IT AN' ON DIS CHOPPA' BE LOTS OF GITS AN' BLEEDIN' AN' I NOT BE SEEIN' DAT TILL NOW, IT NOT BE DERE IT BE DIS UNORKY STUFF DAT BE MUCKIN' ABOUT WITH MY EYES GORK AN' MORK BE NOT HERE AN' FOUL THINGS BE A HAPPENIN' DERE BE A FOUL SHADOW AN' WYRDBOYZ BE A DANCIN' DA RED WUN BE WANTING UNORKY THINGS AN' DAT GIT BE WOKEN BY HIS HOUND WHO BE MAKIN' A LOT OF NOISE BUT HE BE SNEAKIN' QUIET LIKE WIF ANOTHER GIT DAT BE MUCKIN' ABOUT DAT BE MOVIN' UNLIKE ANYFIN' I KNOW BUT HE HEAR NOT MY STEPS, FOR I ALSO BE SNEAKIN' QUIET LIKE BUT I BE FEARIN' DEY HEAR ME FROM ALL DAT METAL DAT BE LYIN' ABOUT AN' BE MAKIN' A LOT OF NOISE BUT I SHALL BE LIKE A HORROR AN' DAT BE GOOD, BUT WHILE I BE SPEAKIN' DA WAAGHBOSS STILL BE BREATHIN' AN' ME TALKIN' JUST BE MUCKIN' ABOUT

(A BELL BE RINGIN' NOW)

OI! WOT WAS DAT! OH YEAH! I BE GOIN' NOW BUT IF DUNKAN BE HEARIN' IT DIS WHOLE PLAN BE GOIN' TO SHIT