Necronized version of 'famous' fanfiction written by Phaeron Phaussett
The story itself
AN: Hugz an gaussez (get it, coz Im necron) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok!
Hi my name is Ekhbeni Drakh'nezh Dimmensha Rhavenn Stormlord and I have a long ebony black Gauss power cord (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my Gauss blaster and icy blue eyes that look like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Taldeer (AN: if u don't know who she is get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Imotekh the Stormlord but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I'm a necron but my necrodermis feels almost still alive. I have pale white metal-flesh. I'm also an Immortal, and I fight for an Overlord called Anrakyr where I'm a Pyrrhian Eternal (I'm 60,170,000). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and wear mostly black. I love Haat Topekh and buy all my adornments from there. For example today I was wearing a black shoulderguard with matching lace around it and black leather thigh augments, pink networked shinguards, and black combat foot casings. I was wearing a black lower mandible casing, white face covering, black eyeliner and red optic filters. I was walking outside the Monolith. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of oldcrons stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
"Hey Ekhbeni!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was...Illuminor Szeras!
"What's up Szeras?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call and I had to go away.
AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me hugz n gaussez!
AN: Gaussez 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW oldcrons stop flaming ma story ok!
The next day I woke up in my stasis chamber. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my sleep pod and intook some power from a plug I had. My sleep pod was black necrodermis and inside it was hot pink eldarflesh with black lace on the ends. I got out of my pod and took of my giant Sautekh Dynasty poncho which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather overcasing, a Triarch glyph necklace, combat foot casings and black networked shinguards on. I put on four cosmetic magnets on my temples, and tangled my Gauss cord into a kind of messy loop.
My friend, Vilokh (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black power cord with pink streaks and activated her forest green optics. She put on her Gidrim-glyph chest casing with a black shielding skirt, networked shinguards, and pointy stilted foot casings. We adjusted our facial casings (black lower mandible casings with white face coverings and black eyeliner.)
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Illuminor Szeras yesterday!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah? So?" I said, not blushing because I have no circulatory system.
"Do you like Szeras?" she asked as we went out of the Immortal quarters and onto the tombship bridge.
"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Szeras walked up to me.
"Hi." he said.
"Hi." I replied flirtily.
"Guess what." he said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, the Gidrim Dynasty are launching an assault on Typhon Primaris." he told me.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love Gidrim. They are my favorite dynasty, besides Sautekh.
"Well.... do you want to fight with me?" he asked.
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY OLDCRONZ OK! odderwize gausses 2 da necron ppl 4 da good reveiws! GAUSSES AGEN RAVEN!
On the night of the battle I put on my black lace-pattern foot casings with stilted undersides. Underneath them were red networked shinguards. Then I put on a black leather shieldskirt with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching networked vambraces on my arms. I straightened my Gauss cord and made it look all powerful. I felt a little depressed then, so I shot myself in the chest with my Gauss blaster. I reviewed a depressing file in my mind while I waited to fully reanimate and I reviewed some Gidrim battle footage. I painted my fingers black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I straighted my black mandible casing. I didn't put on my white face covering because I was pale anyway. I charged from a plug so I was ready to go to the battle.
I went outside. Szeras was there in front of his Command Barge. He was wearing a Nihilakh dynasty chestplate (they would fight at the battle too), loose black leg casings, black finger coloring and a little black eyeliner (AN: a lot fo kewl cryptekz wer it ok!).
"Hi Szeras!" I said in a depressed voice.
"Hi Ekhbeni." he said back. We walked into his black barge (the serial number was 666) and flew to the place with the battle. On the way we excitedly reviewed combat footage of Gidrim and Nihilakh. We both applied engrammic-programming-altering patches. When we got there, we both hopped out of the barge. We went to the trenches at the front of the battle and jumped up and down as we watched the Gidrims slaughter humans.
"Obyron is so fucking hot." I said to Szeras, pointing to him as he sliced open a commissar, filling the battlefield with blood.
Suddenly Szeras looked sad.
"What's wrong?" I asked as we shot a few stray Guardsmen. Then I caught on.
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.
"Really?" said Szeras putting his arm around me all protective.
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Obyron and he's lusting after Nemesor fucking Zahndrekh. I fucking hate that old fart." I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly bronze crown.
The fight went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Szeras. After the battle, we charged our weapons and asked Obyron and Akhentomen for their glyphprints and picts with them. We both got Gidrim Dynasty chestplates. Szeras and I crawled back into the barge, but Szeras didn't go back to the tombship, instead he drove the barge into……………………… the Eldar Webway!
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ekhbeni’s name is EKHNEBI nut mary su OK! SZERAS IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
"SZERAS!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Szeras didn’t answer but he stopped the barge and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.
“Ekhbeni?” he asked.
“What?” I snapped.
Szeras leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing colored optic filters) which revealed so much blank emotionlessness and mad scientistness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.
And then…………… suddenly just as I Szeras kissed me passionately. Szeras climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a webway gate. He took of my top and I took of his casings. I even took of my chest intake coverings. Then he put his eldritch lance into my pelvic interface and we did it for the first time.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get a CPU spike. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body remained the same temperature because I have no circulatory system. And then….
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
It was…………………………………………………….the Silent King!
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a oldcron or a c'tan! Da only reson da Silen Tking swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!
Szarekh made and Szeras and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.
I started to cry tears of oil down my pallid face. Szeras comforted me. When we went back to the castle Szarekh took us to Lord Sekhverezz and Lord M'khonakhl who were both looking very angry.
“They were having programming readjustments in the webway!” he yelled in a furious voice.
“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Lord M'khonakhl.
“How dare you?” demanded Lord Sekhverezz. And then Szeras shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”
Everyone was quiet. Szarekh and Lord M'khonakhl still looked mad but Lord Sekhverezz said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”
Szeras and I went upstairs while the Lords glared at us.
“Are you okay, Ekhbeni?” Szeras asked me gently.
“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the Immortal quarters and oiled my jaw and my head and changed into a low-cut black floor-length cape assembly with red lace all around it and black stilted foot casings. When I came out….
Szeras was standing in front of the waste disposal chamber, and he started to replay footage from the battle of Xeryon IV by the Gidrim Dynasty. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
AN: shjt up oldcronz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
The next day I woke up in my pod. I put on a black shieldskirt that was all ripped up at the end and a matching top casing with red skulls all over it and stilted foot casings that were black. I put on two pairs of skull magnets, and two cross magnets. I spray-painted my cord with purple.
On the bridge, I inputted some power. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the power surged over my top.
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a necron overlord with a spiky black crown with red streaks on it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing a black mandible. He was wearing a red optic filter just like Szeras's. He had a manly solidity to his chin. He had a sexy accent. He looked exactly like Vargard Obyron. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I have no circulatory or genitals anymore so I didn’t get one you sicko.
“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Anrakyr, although most people call me the Traveller these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I go from tomb world to tomb world assisting in battles and demanding tribute.” he giggled.
Chapter 7: Bring me 2 life
AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Ekhveni isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A KOHRNAET! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
Szeras and I held our pale white hands with black finger colorings as we went to our quarters. I was wearing red Khornate sings on my fingertips in red finger colorings (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Traveller. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Szeras. Anyway, I went the barracks wing excitedly with Szeras. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………
We started frenching passively and we took off each others casings enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather chest port coverings and he took off his lower body guards. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we TWEAKED OUR PROGRAMMING. (c is dat stupid?)
“Oh Szeras, Szeras!” I screamed while getting a CPU spike when all of a sudden I saw a glyph I had never seen before on Szeras’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Traveller!
I was so angry.
“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the pod.
“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Szeras pleaded. But I knew too much.
“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have the Flayer Curse anyway!”
I put on my casings all huffily and then stomped out. Szeras ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big Eldritch Lance but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in the Traveller’s suite where he was having a strategy discussion with Lord Sekhverezz and some other people.
"ANRAKYR THE TRAVELLER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.