|This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.|
Despite being a semi-perverse ERPG d20 sourcebook that should never be played by anyone, it is pretty funny.
Baykdoyre’s Ultimate Lubrication - Makes ogre/halfling crossbreeding a reality.
Alter Breasts - Anything from A to double D, on any gender. Could be used as a decent source of income.
Change Orientation - A spell feared by macho barbarians and fighters alike.
Clothes to chocolate, cream, or oil - For some reason the Farmers' Union hates people using this spell.
Dirk's Impressive Tool - Illusion that makes his secondary weapon seem "enormous" and "beautiful". Can encourage people to tell their friends about it. Requires a sausage for use.
Hypnotic Rump - "Renders the caster's buttocks fascinating beyond belief".
Locate Clitoris - Nothing funny, potentinally useful.
Morning Wood - Save it for when it comes in handy, or maybe just for when it comes in hand.
Onestrum’s Personal Fluidic Enhancer - "Spooge production that would make a titan proud".
Night Visitor - Target gets a visit in the night. They won't get any benefits from sleeping. Requires a feather and a piece of cheese, for some reason.
Prismatic Chastity Belt - Any would-be assailant of the nether planes suffers fire, acid, lightning, poison damage, is turned to stone and teleported to another plane.
Protection from Mingers - Makes it impossible for ugly people to come near you.
Ray of Nipple Hardening- Gee, I wonder what this does?
Vinegar Stokes - Gives the target the sensation of being stuck edging right before orgasm, they can defend but not move or cast spells. A good way to escape.
Summon Sex Partner - Force the summoned creature to service you. There's a warning about meeting said creature outside of the spell. Given that it's practically a rape spell, it should be obvious as to why this is.
Power Word: Orgasm - No save. Stuns the creature somewhere between 1d6 to 3d6 depending on Constitution. A good, non-lethal (if a bit messy) way to escape from battle.
Alchemy: Orcish fly, Lubricant jelly, delouser and hot flush.
Concentration: Added rules for casting spells while doing it, and holding off orgasm via Concentration. Fighting naked Amazons is now the bane of wizard concentration checks.
Perform: Can give bonuses to oral and pole dancing.
New Prestige Classes
Agony Mage: A mage that is good at guessing what you like, and has the power to give it to you. They also have a funny feat called "blameless". This makes the guards search for other suspects even if you are caught performing the crime.
Mystic Pimp: A summoner of adult-rated partners. Streetwise has a feat that tells him your orientation and fetishes and can gain permanent summons.
Seducer: A person that can seduce anyone that is physically capable or not dead. Even a Tarrasque.
Peeping Scryer: He peeps. That's it. He also has a feat called "Never forget an Arse" that lets him identify his peeping victims. Requires level 21st whorcery.
Pop-up Pork-Sword: A club with a catch on the handle. Hitting it makes a 12-inch section spring out that wobbles back and forth. Acts as a +1 weapon but anything that is touched by the sword is affected by Power Word: Orgasm.
Cock Rings: Includes Rings of Quantity, Girth, and Penetration. Not intended for digital use.
Bag of Fondling: Put something inside the bag and the bag will massage it.
Carved Monkey of Spanking: A statue that comes to life. Spanking it renders the user immune to sex effects for 24 hours.
Magic Chastity Belt: A variety of shapes and sizes, from basic arcane locks to casting Burning Hands and summoning a guardian.
Dan's Instant Whorehouse: A small cube that becomes a 40ft square, 10-foot high wooden whorehouse with an ogre bouncer and 2-8 hosts/hostesses of the owner's preference. It's described that people are damaged if caught in the expanding house, adding to its practical uses.
Jockstrap of Impressive Lunchbox: A jockstrap that probes the mind of nearby females, forming the size that is most appealing to them. Remove when in proximity to pixies and other small creatures.
Sexy Sheets: The users appear sexier. They are also self-cleaning.
Colossal Gay Al: A giant allosaur, brightly colored, has a good singing voice and drinks enormous cocktails. Is also an obvious South Park reference.
Creamy Ooze: An ooze made out of exactly what you'd imagine.
One-Eyed Trouser Snake: To quote the book: "Many people strive to collect the largest and most magnificent trouser snake they can."
Siren Flower: Lures you in by looking like a naked woman, then shoves a seedpod up your ass.