Painboss

From 1d4chan
Giving the Lords of Pain a run for their money.

"Oi, dis iz an emergency! Da Big Boss’ fav’rit grot got stepped on by one o’ you gits, an’ I need a proper Dok ‘ere NOW. I ‘eard dem Beast Snaggas ‘ave sum pretty choppy Doks in dere mobs, so get dem ‘umies from dat ‘regular feature’ fing to go find out wot’s wot over dere. I SAID NOW."

– From Warhammer Community.

So when a normal Ork Boy becomes big enough, he becomes a Warboss. When a normal Mekboy becomes big enough, he becomes a Big Mek. So what happens when a Painboy gets big enough too? Well, he transforms himself into a Painboss.

Overview[edit]

A new unit revealed on May 2021. A Painboss is what happens when a very affluent Painboy gets so high with surgery he essentially reach a status comparable to a Warboss. For some reason, Painboss often find themselves in company with the Beast Snaggas. Then again, with their profession literally consisting of living with very dangerous Squigs, it is no surprise that they suffer more than their fair share of injuries before they even get to the fightin’.

With the constant supply of bodily injuries, this would of course lead to a surging demand for Doks and for the Doks, more patients mean more 'experimentations' and also more moolah. In contrast to their lowly cousins, these enterprising surgeons transcend the simple genetic knowledge of the Painboyz and develop greater medical skills than many assume Orks are capable of. They’re particularly favoured by the Beast Snaggas for their knowledge of squig physiology, giving them the ability to graft crude bionics and armour plates to their steeds when the need arises.

In fact, Painbosses are so used to running around after the impetuous Squighog Boyz that many give their slow, organic legs a GoGo Gadget makeover. One of the most popular upgrades is to attach devices known as soopa-legz below the knee, using the power of Orky ingenuity to propel themselves at much higher speeds than normal. This isn’t to say these Doks exclusively work for the Beast Snaggas, though – they’re quite happy to patch up anything for a bag full of teef.

While it’s common for Doks of all kinds to keep a few Gretchin around to carry supplies, hold wounds open, and be clenched in the jaw during particularly painful amputations, the grot orderlies that accompany a Painboss need a few modifications of their own to keep up. Why have tiny, runty legs when you can have a motorbike wheel instead?

Equipment[edit]

These Doks aren’t just for fixing up injured Beast Snagga Boyz, either. Like any Ork worth their salt, the Painbosses are just as capable of giving ‘oomies, beakies, and any of the others a good ass kicking. Their klaw, affectionately dubbed a Power Snappa, looks a little smaller and lighter than a normal Power Klaw. That’s probably a good thing – when you’re getting a new arm attached, the last thing you want is the Painboss being less accurate. They also still retain their full medical 'equipment', including several medicinal Squig varieties such as Mendin' Squigs, Syringe Squigs and Swab Squigs.

Gallery[edit]

Forces ov da Orks
Bosses: Beastboss - Big Mek - Boiler Boy - Meganobz - Painboy
Painboss - Pigdok - Warboss - Warlord - Weirdboy - Wurrboy
Boyz: Boyz (Huntas - Madboyz - Shoota Boyz - Slugga Boyz
Stikk Bommas - Wildboyz
) - 'Ardboyz - Brutes
Gretchin - Nobz - Skarboyz - Cyborks - Diggas
Oddboys: Burna Boyz - Flash Gitz - Kommandos - Lootas
Mekboyz - Rokkas - Runtherd - Stormboyz - Tankbustas
Stompy 'fings: Deff Dred - Gorkanaut - Killa Kan - Mega-Dread - Morkanaut
Transports an' Tanks: Battlewagon - Big Trakks - Bonebreaka - Bonecruncha
Braincrusha - Flakkatrakks - Gobsmasha - Grot Tanks
Gutrippa - Grot MegaTank - Gunwagon - Looted Wagon
Lungbursta - Trukk - Spleenrippa - Weirdboy Tower
Big Lugga - Grot Trakbike
Feral Orks an'
Beast Snaggas:
Beast Snagga Boy - Boarboyz - Kill Rig - Squiggoth
Squighog Boy - Trappa - Herda - Squig Catapult
Speed Freeks: Boomdakka Snazzwagon - Bowelburna
Deffkilla Wartrike - Junka - Kustom Boosta-Blasta - Wartrakk
Megatrakk Scrapjet - Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy - Cuttas
Shokkjump Dragsta - Speedsta - Warbikers - Warbuggy
Flyboyz: Deffkoptas - Bomma - Dakkajet - Fighta - Fighta-Bomma - Drilla-Killa
Grot Bomms - Landa - Minelayer - Warkoptas - Wazbom Blastajet
Supportin' Dakka: Grot Bomm Launcha - Magna-Kannon - Mek Gunz
Splashy Noggins: Ork Submersible - Nautical Kroozer
Zoggin' Big and Ded Killy: Battlefortress - Gargant - Kill Tanks - Stompa
Locomotive Battering Ram
Warp Ulks: Ork Assault Boat - Rok
Huts'an Stuff: Mekboy Workshop - Dropz
Gubbinz an' Wots-its: Choppas - Fungus - Ork Gunz - Snotlings - Squigs - Warboars