Paragon Warsuit

From 1d4chan
AwesomeWTF.gifThis article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, Matt Ward creating (against all odds) a codex that isn't completely broken on every level. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.
NotAwesome.png
This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.
Looks like the Dreadknight had a daughter the whole time.

"If its out time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives, WE GIVE THEM HELL BEFORE WE DO IT!!!"

– Matrix Revolutions

Urgh...where the fuck do we begin with this bucket of doozy.

The Paragon Warsuit is a new unit released on our virgin eyes on January 2021. A device that straddles the line between Power Armour and Mecha, the Paragon Warsuit has garnered...well...let's just say that we have now a metric fuck ton of Memes now.

WTF Am I Looking At!?[edit]

The thing you seeing here is the new Sisters of Battle elite unit. This abomination is the first new sister unit since 2003 and it seem to carry on the Imperium's glorious tradition of strapping a fucking baby carrier and pushing them onto the front lines. Seriously, what the fuck is up with GW's habit of giving the Imperium fucking baby carriers? First we had the Dreadknight, then the Invictor Tactical Warsuit and now this. Thanks to this fiasco, we can finally conclude that the design of the Dreadknight may not be Matt Ward's fault after all, go on our Spiritual Liege, you're redeemed for now on this case.

And yes we did not have a typo up there. Ask any Beardy Matronly sisters of battle player and they will tell you the sisters of battle have never been one of game workshops favored armies and have over the years received very little support. As such from the Witch Hunter codex released in 2003 the Sisters of battle have not had one totally new codex option not counting the Repressor, which was forge world not base codex, or special characters. Even the 2020 release had only Zephyrim and Mortifiers as new units, and both were variants of existing units, the Seraphim and Penitent Engine respectively. As such the Paragon Warsuit is the first 100% original, not based on any existing unit so-we-can-sell-two-unit-kits option in the sisters line up in almost two decades. . .and. . .look at it.

As you know, everyone and I mean everyone has taken the piss out of this thing. From comparisons to either the infamous Dreadknight or Ellen Ripley's loader suit in Aliens, to Neckbeards projectile vomiting on the horrendous design choices such as where the Sister's feet is meant to go, and even folks laughing their asses off over the fact that after decades of SoB players bitching for new armor, they finally got it in the form of a discount Centurion warsuit.

Suffice to say, this literal walking ergonomic nightmare has become the butt of jokes at the Sisters' expense. But at least both Sisters and Grey Knight players could finally find something to bond over.

The funny thing is that, if GW wanted to give the sororitas some form of heavy support, they could have just gone for other, more plausible options. We do know that regular humans can don terminator armour, we have many examples of inquisitors doing just that, and considering how wealthy the Ecclesiarchy is, getting a special body of terminator-clad SoBs wouldn't be that implausible, even if they don't have the advantage of a black carapace. Another option would be a dreadnought-like design, and while that sounds absurd at first, we have the precedent of SoB dreadnoughts from the Rogue Trader days. Hell, they wouldn't have to go that far, they could use some sort of warsuit akin to the Invictor Tactical Warsuit that functioned as a dreadnought while being piloted by a regular battle sister. . . I mean that is what the Pargon is really, it just got some design issues that made us laugh like the sister's ostrich legs and that silly little left arm.

So really they would have, you know, just design the warsuit better. Additionally this is part of an annoying trend for GW to force exo-arms on something, which have always been ugly and never looked good.

The Paragon is so silly that even the Regimental Standard pokes fun at it, comparing it very unfavorably to the Sentinel. It says a lot that some of the biased points they make are actually legitimately valid, such as the fact that there’s no risk of dropping a Sentinel’s weapons in combat when they’re bolted to the chassis itself, and that (Armoured) Sentinel pilots have actual head protection; proving that the Paragon is so stupidly designed that not even blatant Imperial propaganda (or GW itself) can defend it.

Equipment[edit]

In terms of what these glorified flamingo walkers lug around, the Paragon Warsuit is equipped with firepower to rival a Space Marine Dreadnought. Their left arm incorporates a Heavy Bolter, Heavy Flamer, or Multi-Melta which is augmented by shoulder-mounted secondary weapons consisting of either twin Grenade Launchers or Storm Bolters. Its right arm wields a melee weapon consisting of a large Paragon War Blade or Paragon War Mace.

Gallery[edit]

Forces of the Sisters of Battle
Command: Triumph of Saint Katherine - Canoness
Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave - Imagifier
Ministorum Priest - Palatine - Dogmata
Sororitas Command Squad
Troops: Avenging Angel - Arco-flagellant - Battle Sister Squad
Celestians - Crusaders - Death Cult Assassin
Dominion Squad - Retributor Squad - Seraphim Squad
Sisters Repentia - Zephyrim Squad
Vehicles: Castigator Tank - Exorcist - Immolator
Paragon Warsuit - Penitent Engine
Repressor - Rhino - Mortifier
Special Vehicles: Pulpit of Saint Holline's Basilica
Flyers: Avenger Strike Fighter
Spacecraft: Aquila Lander - Drop Pod
Saints: Living Saint - Geminae Superia
Non Militant: Orders Dialogous - Orders Famulous - Orders Hospitaler
Orders Pronatus - Hagiolater
Allies: Black Templars
Vehicles of the Imperium of Man
Walkers Contemptor-Galatus Dreadnought - Contemptor-Incaendius Dreadnought - Death Company Dreadnought
Deathwatch Dreadnought - Dreadnought - Nemesis Dreadknight - Doomglaive Dreadnought - Furioso Dreadnought
Ironstrider Ballistarius - Invictor Tactical Warsuit - Librarian Dreadnought - Mortifier - Mortis Dreadnought
Onager Dunecrawler - Penitent Engine - Redemptor Dreadnought - Sentinel - Space Wolves Venerable Dreadnought
Sydonian Dragoon - Telemon Heavy Dreadnought - Wulfen Dreadnought - Paragon Warsuit
Transports Aurox - Chimera - Coronus Grav Carrier - Crassus Armored Assault Transport - Goliath Truck
Gorgon Armored Assault Transport - Hades Breaching Drill - Immolator - Impulsor - Macro-Hauler
Pegasus AAV - Razorback Transport - Repressor - Rhino - Road-Wheeler - Taurox - Testudo
Titan Train - Trojan Support Vehicle - Triaros Armoured Conveyer - Tunneling Transport Vehicles
Light
Vehicles
Atlas Recovery Tank - Achilles Ridgerunner - Bane Wolf - Bike Squad - Centaur Utility Vehicle
Cyclops Demolition Vehicle - Devil Dog - Galvanic Servohauler - Hellhound - Invader ATV - Land Crawler
Pegasus AFV - Salamander Reconnaissance Tank - Scylla Light Tank - Siegfried - Squat Bike - Squat Trike
Tauros - Tectonic Fragdrill - Venator - Wolfquad
Battle
Tanks
Castigator Tank - Caladius Grav-Tank - Gladiator Tank - Krios Battle Tank - Land Raider
Leman Russ Battle Tank - Predator - Ragnarok - Repulsor Tank - Sabre Tank Hunter
Sicaran Battle Tank - Spartan Assault Tank - Vindicator
Ordnance Basilisk Artillery Gun - Colossus Bombard - Deathstrike Missile Launcher
Exorcist - Goliath Mega-Cannon - Griffon Heavy Mortar Carrier - Hunter - Hydra Flak Tank
Land Train - Legion Arquitor Bombard - Manticore Launcher Tank - Medusa Siege Gun
Rapier Armoured Carrier - Stalker - Thunderfire Cannon - Whirlwind - Wyvern Suppression Tank
Superheavy
Tanks
Astraeus - Baneblade - Capitol Imperialis - Cerberus Heavy Tank Destroyer - Colossus War Machine
Cyclops War Machine - Fellblade - Leviathan - Macharius Heavy Tank - Macrocarid Explorator
Malcador Heavy Tank - Mastodon - Ordinatus - Typhon Heavy Siege Tank
Skimmers Dawneagle Jetbike - Gyrfalcon Pattern Jetbike - Imperial Jetbike - Javelin Attack Speeder
Grav-Cutter - Grav-Rhino - Kharon - Land Speeder - Land Speeder Vengeance
Pulpit of Saint Holline's Basilica - Skorpius Hover Tank - Stormrider - Storm Speeder
Pallas Grav-Attack
Flyers Archaeocopter - Ares Gunship - Caestus Assault Ram - Container Transporter - Corvus Blackstar
Fire Raptor - Iron Eagle Gyrocopter - Nephilim Jetfighter - Orgus Flyer - Orion Gunship - Overlord Gunship
Overlord Armoured Airship - Sky Talon - Space Marine Landing Craft - Storm Eagle - Stormbird
Stormhawk - Chiropteran - Stormraven - Stormtalon - Stormwolf - Thunderhawk - Valkyrie - Vendetta
Vulture
Fighters &
Bombers
Avenger Strike Fighter - Lightning Fighter - Marauder Bomber
Stormfang - Thunderbolt Fighter - Xiphon Interceptor
Spacecraft Aquila Lander - Arvus Lighter - Boarding Torpedo - Devourer Dropship - Drop Pod
Faustus Interceptor - Fury Interceptor - Gun-Cutter - Shark Assault Boat
Starhawk Bomber - Tetrarch Heavy Lander
Titans Imperial Knight - Warhound Scout Titan - Reaver Battle Titan - Warlord Battle Titan
Warbringer Nemesis Titan - Warmaster Heavy Battle Titan - Emperor Battle Titan
Armour of Warhammer 40,000
Imperials: Flak Armour - Carapace Armour - Skitarii War Plate - Sicarian Battle Armour
Power Armour (Human Power Armour - Dragon Scale Armour - Exo-Power Armour
Space Marine Power Armour - Artificer Armour - Aegis Armour - Auramite Armour
)
Terminator Armour - Centurion Armour - Paragon Warsuit
Chaos: Flak Armour - Carapace Armour - Power Armour (Chaos Power Armour - Warp-Forged Armour)
Chaos Terminator Armour - Fleshmetal Armour
Asuryani: Mesh Armour - Aspect Armour - Exarch Armour - Phoenix Armour - Rune Armour
Drukhari: Kabalite Armour - Wychsuit - Incubus Warsuit - Ghostplate Armour
Harlequins: Holo-Suit - Death's Legacy
Orks: Studded Armour - Flak Armour - 'Eavy Armour - Mega Armour
Tau: Kroot Armour - Recon Armour - Combat Armour - Battlesuit - Iridium Armour
Necrons: Necrodermis - Sempiternal Weave
Tyranids: Chitin - Carapace - Armoured Exoskeleton - Armoured Shell