Paragon Warsuit

From 1d4chan
AwesomeWTF.gifThis article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, Matt Ward creating (against all odds) a codex that isn't completely broken on every level. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.
NotAwesome.png
This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.
Looks like the Dreadknight had a daughter the whole time.

"If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives, WE GIVE THEM HELL BEFORE WE DO IT!"

– Matrix Revolutions

Urgh... where the fuck do we begin with this bucket of doozy.

The Paragon Warsuit is a new unit released on our virgin eyes on January 2021. A device that straddles the line between Power Armour and Mecha, the Paragon Warsuit has garnered...well...let's just say that we have now a metric fuck ton of Memes now.

WTF Am I Looking At!?[edit]

The thing you seeing here is the new Sisters of Battle elite unit. This abomination is the first new sister unit since 2003 and it seem to carry on the Imperium's glorious tradition of strapping a fucking baby carrier and pushing them onto the front lines. Seriously, what the fuck is up with GW's habit of giving the Imperium fucking baby carriers? First we had the Dreadknight, then the Invictor Tactical Warsuit and now this. Thanks to this fiasco, we can finally conclude that the design of the Dreadknight may not be Matt Ward's fault after all, go on our Spiritual Liege, you're redeemed for now on this case.

And yes we did not have a typo up there. Ask any Beardy Matronly sisters of battle player and they will tell you the sisters of battle have never been one of GeeDub's favoured armies and have over the years received very little support. As such from the Witch Hunter codex released in 2003 the Sisters of battle have not had one totally new codex option (not counting the Repressor which was Forge World rather than base codex,) or special characters. Even the 2020 release had only Zephyrim and Mortifiers as new units - and both were variants of existing units, the Seraphim and Penitent Engine, respectively.

As such the Paragon Warsuit is the first 100% original, not based on any existing unit so-we-can-sell-two-unit-kits option in the sisters line up in almost two decades. So to state the least, getting what's basically Dreadknight MK2: Angry Nun Boogaloo (with most all of the original's design issues) after over a decade of model stagnation and neglect was a let-down at best in the eyes of many players.

As you know, everyone and we mean everyone has taken the piss out of this thing. From comparisons to either the infamous Dreadknight or Ellen Ripley's loader suit in Aliens, to Neckbeards projectile vomiting on the horrendous design choices (Where do the Sister's feet go? Why are her actual arms exposed? Why the hell is she not wearing a helmet?!), and even folks laughing their asses off over the fact that after decades of SoB players bitching for new armor, they finally got it in the form of a discount Centurion warsuit.

Suffice to say, this literal walking ergonomic nightmare has become the butt of jokes at the Sisters' expense. But at least both Sisters and Grey Knight players could finally find something to bond over.

The funny thing is that, if GW wanted to give the Sororitas some form of heavy support, they could have just gone for other, more plausible options. We do know that regular humans can don fairly strong power armour, we have many examples of inquisitors doing just that, and considering how wealthy the Ecclesiarchy is, getting a special body of SoBs with a Terminator-like type of armour wouldn't be that implausible (even if they don't have the advantage of the black carapace).

Another option would be a dreadnought-like design, and while that sounds absurd at first, we have the precedent of SoB dreadnoughts from the Rogue Trader days. Hell, they wouldn't have to go that far: they could use some sort of warsuit akin to the Invictor Tactical Warsuit or the Anchorite that functioned like a dreadnought while being piloted by a regular sister. And to be fair, the Paragon essentially *is* essentially that, just with some design issues that made us laugh like the sister's ostrich legs and that silly little left arm.

The Paragon is silly enough that even the Regimental Standard pokes fun at it, comparing it very unfavourably to the Sentinel. It says a lot that some of the biased points they make are actually legitimately valid, such as the fact that there’s no risk of dropping a Sentinel’s weapons in combat when they’re bolted to the chassis itself, and that (Armoured) Sentinel pilots have actual head protection; proving that the Paragon is so stupidly designed that not even blatant Imperial propaganda (or GW itself) can defend it.

On top of everything else, as many of the more /M/anly members of /tg/ has commented, it looks like a discount Landmate, from Shirow Masamune's works.

TL;DR: GW cannot into designing warsuits.

Equipment[edit]

In terms of what these glorified flamingo walkers lug around, the Paragon Warsuit is equipped with firepower to rival a Space Marine Dreadnought. Their left arm incorporates a Heavy Bolter, Heavy Flamer, or Multi-Melta which is augmented by shoulder-mounted secondary weapons consisting of either twin Grenade Launchers or Storm Bolters. Its right arm wields a melee weapon consisting of a large Paragon War Blade or Paragon War Mace. Now, it looks stupid, but if it reaches melee, the poor idiots who failed to bring it down are quite screwed.

Since the grenade launcher and the mulitmelta have the SAME range, any vehicle has the potential of reciving up to 16- 22 wounds a turn (although you probebly need some miracle dice to pull this off). And this is before it gets into melee!

The paragon war mace is good for smashing vehicles and monsters with its S+4 AP -2 D3, although the -1 to hit makes this a little bit unreliable. The paragon war sword has a better AP (-3) than the mace but its S bonus isn't enough to really hurt vehicles or anything with a high T. Its D is also 1 point weaker than the mace, so it's better used to slice up MEQ, and with its additional attack it does this job very well.

So if you want to smash some Tanks: Go with the war mace / multi melta / grenade launcher variant, and watch the big guys bend over like the little bitches they are.

If MEQ are your problem: Unleash your war sword / heavy bolter / grenade launcher Paragon and enjoy throwing them down from their high horse.

If GEQ are bugging you, mow them down like weed with your war sword / heavy flamer / storm bolter variant. (Although you could take the grenade launcher here as well, since it has higher S and DS; but then again, it doesn't have rapid fire for more Dakka at 12")

As you see, the storm bolter kinda takes a back seat to the grenade launcher in S and DS so it's up to your preferences which one you use. (Bear in mind though, that the grenade launcher does cost points compared to the integrated storm bolter.)

Gallery[edit]

Forces of the Sisters of Battle
Command: Triumph of Saint Katherine - Canoness
Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave - Imagifier
Ministorum Priest - Palatine - Dogmata
Sororitas Command Squad
Troops: Avenging Angel - Arco-flagellant - Battle Sister Squad
Celestians - Crusaders - Death Cult Assassin
Dominion Squad - Novitiate Squad - Retributor Squad
Seraphim Squad - Sisters Repentia - Zephyrim Squad
Vehicles: Castigator Tank - Exorcist - Immolator
Paragon Warsuit - Penitent Engine
Repressor - Rhino - Mortifier
Special Vehicles: Pulpit of Saint Holline's Basilica
Superheavy
Vehicles:
Mobile Cathedral
Flyers: Avenger Strike Fighter
Spacecraft: Aquila Lander - Drop Pod
Saints: Living Saint - Geminae Superia
Non Militant: Orders Dialogous - Orders Famulous - Orders Hospitaler
Orders Pronatus - Hagiolater
Allies: Black Templars
Vehicles of the Imperium of Man
Walkers Contemptor-Galatus Dreadnought - Contemptor-Incaendius Dreadnought - Death Company Dreadnought
Deathwatch Dreadnought - Dreadnought - Nemesis Dreadknight - Doomglaive Dreadnought - Furioso Dreadnought
Ironstrider Ballistarius - Invictor Tactical Warsuit - Librarian Dreadnought - Mortifier - Mortis Dreadnought
Onager Dunecrawler - Penitent Engine - Redemptor Dreadnought - Sentinel - Space Wolves Venerable Dreadnought
Sydonian Dragoon - Telemon Heavy Dreadnought - Wulfen Dreadnought - Paragon Warsuit - Arachni-rig
Transports Aurox - Chimera - Coronus Grav Carrier - Crassus Armored Assault Transport - Goliath Truck
Gorgon Armored Assault Transport - Hades Breaching Drill - Immolator - Impulsor - Macro-Hauler
Pegasus AAV - Razorback Transport - Repressor - Rhino - Road-Wheeler - Taurox - Testudo
Titan Train - Trojan Support Vehicle - Triaros Armoured Conveyer - Tunneling Transport Vehicles
Light
Vehicles
Atlas Recovery Tank - Achilles Ridgerunner - Bane Wolf - Bike Squad - Cargo-8 Ridgehauler - Centaur Utility Vehicle
Cyclops Demolition Vehicle - Devil Dog - Galvanic Servohauler - Hellhound - Invader ATV - Land Crawler
Pegasus AFV - Salamander Reconnaissance Tank - Scylla Light Tank - Siegfried - Squat Bike - Squat Trike
Tauros - Tectonic Fragdrill - Venator - Wolfquad
Battle
Tanks
Castigator Tank - Caladius Grav-Tank - Gladiator Tank - Kratos Heavy Assault Tank - Krios Battle Tank
Land Raider - Leman Russ Battle Tank - Predator - Ragnarok - Repulsor Tank - Sabre Tank Hunter
Sicaran Battle Tank - Spartan Assault Tank - Vindicator
Ordnance Basilisk Artillery Gun - Colossus Bombard - Deathstrike Missile Launcher
Exorcist - Goliath Mega-Cannon - Griffon Heavy Mortar Carrier - Hunter - Hydra Flak Tank
Land Train - Legion Arquitor Bombard - Manticore Launcher Tank - Medusa Siege Gun
Rapier Armoured Carrier - Stalker - Thunderfire Cannon - Whirlwind - Wyvern Suppression Tank
Superheavy
Tanks
Astraeus - Baneblade - Capitol Imperialis - Cerberus Heavy Tank Destroyer - Colossus War Machine
Cyclops War Machine - Fellblade - Leviathan - Macharius Heavy Tank - Macrocarid Explorator
Malcador Heavy Tank - Mobile Cathedral - Mastodon - Ordinatus - Typhon Heavy Siege Tank
Skimmers Dawneagle Jetbike - Gyrfalcon Pattern Jetbike - Imperial Jetbike - Javelin Attack Speeder
Grav-Cutter - Grav-Rhino - Kharon - Land Speeder - Land Speeder Vengeance
Pulpit of Saint Holline's Basilica - Skorpius Hover Tank - Stormrider - Storm Speeder
Pallas Grav-Attack
Flyers Archaeocopter - Ares Gunship - Caestus Assault Ram - Container Transporter - Corvus Blackstar
Fire Raptor - Iron Eagle Gyrocopter - Nephilim Jetfighter - Orgus Flyer - Orion Gunship - Overlord Gunship
Overlord Armoured Airship - Sky Talon - Space Marine Landing Craft - Storm Eagle - Stormbird
Stormhawk - Chiropteran - Stormraven - Stormtalon - Stormwolf - Thunderhawk - Valkyrie - Vendetta
Vulture
Fighters &
Bombers
Avenger Strike Fighter - Lightning Fighter - Marauder Bomber
Stormfang - Thunderbolt Fighter - Xiphon Interceptor
Spacecraft Aquila Lander - Arvus Lighter - Boarding Torpedo - Devourer Dropship - Drop Pod
Faustus Interceptor - Fury Interceptor - Gun-Cutter - Shark Assault Boat
Starhawk Bomber - Tetrarch Heavy Lander
Titans Imperial Knight - Warhound Scout Titan - Dire Wolf Heavy Scout Titan - Reaver Battle Titan
Warlord Battle Titan - Warbringer Nemesis Titan - Warmaster Heavy Battle Titan
Emperor Battle Titan
Armour of Warhammer 40,000
Imperials: Flak Armour - Carapace Armour - Skitarii War Plate - Sicarian Battle Armour
Power Armour (Human Power Armour - Dragon Scale Armour - Exo-Power Armour
Space Marine Power Armour - Artificer Armour - Aegis Armour - Auramite Armour
)
Terminator Armour - Centurion Armour - Paragon Warsuit
Chaos: Flak Armour - Carapace Armour - Power Armour (Chaos Power Armour - Warp-Forged Armour)
Chaos Terminator Armour - Fleshmetal Armour
Asuryani: Mesh Armour - Aspect Armour - Exarch Armour - Phoenix Armour - Rune Armour
Drukhari: Kabalite Armour - Wychsuit - Incubus Warsuit - Ghostplate Armour
Harlequins: Holo-Suit - Death's Legacy
Orks: Studded Armour - Flak Armour - 'Eavy Armour - Mega Armour
Tau: Kroot Armour - Recon Armour - Combat Armour - Battlesuit - Iridium Armour
Necrons: Necrodermis - Sempiternal Weave
Tyranids: Chitin - Carapace - Armoured Exoskeleton - Armoured Shell