Sigmar

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I AM SIGMAR! FOUNDER OF THE EMPIRE AND SLAYER OF ORCS! - The Warcry of Sigmar perpetuating his Awesomeness

"The simple act of caring is heroic."
-Edward Albert

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost.
-Zig Ziglar

Sigmar may not have the fabulous hair but he is ten times more manly than the God-Emperor.

Sigmar Unberogen, known also as Sigmar Heldenhammer, the Hammer of Orcs, The Chosen of Ulric, Sigmar Bjornsson, is the founder of the Empire and its current patron deity. In life, Sigmar was a chieftain of the Unberogen tribe and the son of the legendary hero Bjorn Unberogen. As a god, he is the patron of the Empire, battle, good governance, strength, shouting and warhammers. His symbols are the Warhammer, twin-tailed comet, and griffon.

It has never been satisfactorily explained why the Church of Sigmar insists that its brethren go bald when all depictions of Sigmar have long, flowing, unkempt hair.

He is bros with the Serpent God Sotek of the Lizardmen as they get together every Friday to egg the Horned Rat's house for lolz.

It is customary to read his lines in the Legend of Sigmar in the voice Mel Gibson used to play William Wallace. This is funny because Graham McNeill is Scottish. Therefore, it will likely serve to piss him off to no end.

The End Times and Age of Sigmar has Sigmar coming back. He'd ascended to godhood before his death, which also explains why the Warrior Priests hold a special sort of power, not unlike magic. However, Games Workshop finally gave Tzeentch some love, and had it that he had trapped Sigmar in the Wind of Heavens to prevent him from messing with the Chaos Gods plans. After the Vortex on Ulthuan is destroyed the Wind, under Sigmar's direction, enters the body of Emperor Karl Franz after his death. Sigmar, now in Franz's body, adjusts it to look like his old self and goes on a saving-the-good-guys-while-beating-up-the-baddies spree of awesome. After the end of the old Warhammer World, Sigmar survives the Apocalypse, and with the help of Dracothion (Sotek all along?) uses the metal core of the world-that-was as a platform to unify and civilize the realms of a reborn reality, ascending to full godhood in the process. He even gets his own elite Chaos warriors of sorts (skub warning).

Appearance[edit]

Unlike that black-haired proto-Sumerian we have a good idea what Sigmar really looked like without resorting to palanquins created by zealots. Sigmar was a giant, broad muscular manly motherfucker with blonde hair that was grown too damn long, and some badass armored boots meant for stomping on the skulls of green skins and beastmen. Uniquely, he had mismatched eyes with one green and one blue.

With Age of Sigmar his hair is a clear tone of brown and he uses a long beard.

FUN FACT: Sigmar's Hammer Ghal-Maraz is THE HAMMER that is symbol of Warhammer Fantasy itself.

History[edit]

Early Life[edit]

The Imperial Calendar (IC) which starts from his coronation by the Ar-Ulric (if you need to know, he's the Viking pope and he makes Bjorn the Fell-Handed look like a pussy) commonly places Sigmar's birth as starting from -30 IC. He was said to be born in the Reikland area in the southwest of what would later become the Empire, where the Unberogen tribe dwelt. The night of his birth was marked with the twin-tailed comet, but he found his purchase on life after being cut out of his dying mother's womb by his badass manly motherfucker of a father. In the middle of pitched battle with Orcs I might add. And if that sounds familiar to you, good. You're paying attention. Oddly enough, a mighty thunder-clap was also heard in the night sky. Causing various prophets to call Sigmar, "the Child of Thunder". And if that is also familiar to you, good. I shall make an expert of your filthy self yet. oh and when he was born his forehead was anointed with Ork's blood, how about that for a baptism?

In the year -15, when he was fifteen years of age, Sigmar had become a badass, bigger and stronger than his peers and was already a respected warrior (again, just like a certain Cimmerian). At this point, Sigmar is recorded to have gained the friendship of the great Dwarfen king Kurgan Ironbeard by saving his stunty ass from a warband of Orcs led by a MASSIVE Black Orc Warboss (for you 40Kfags, that's basically Ghazgkhull, but with a fucking axe and a pair of balls). This fight ended with Kurgan throwing the legendary Ghal-Maraz to Sigmar, which he then promptly used to smash the warboss's skull to paste. After the fight, Sigmar attempted to return the hammer, but Kurgan told him to keep it as a reward for saving his life. He also pledged the friendship of the Dwarfen kingdom to the Unberogen tribe for this act of selfless courage. Of course, Sigmar actually only went after Orcs as part of a revenge raid for their prior attack on Reikdorf, Dwarf-saving was nothing but a happy coincidence.

Sigmar's early life would also be punctuated with other grand victories such as the Battle of Astofen Bridge, where he turned back an army of 2000 Orcs. It was also the battle where he earned his shield and became a man. Yes, Sigmar was saving Dwarf Kings and raping Orc Warbosses before early manhood.

Uniting the Tribes[edit]

"I SHED BLOOD OF NORTHERN MEN, I SHED THE BLOOD OF NORTHERN MEN, I SHED THE BLOOD OF NORTHERN MEN, I SHED THE BLOOD OF FOUR THOUSAND NORTHERN MEN!"
-- What Sigmar was likely singing to himself when he massacred the Norse.

Sigmar would later learn the importance of unity from something his dad said. Probably a metaphor centering around wolves. In any event, combined with Alaric the Mad's warnings about "Orcs and things best not spoken of", he was inspired to bring the various disparate tribes of the Reik together. Even going so far as swear an oath, and dragging his best friends in it too for fun.

Of course, the Chaos-worshiping Norse tribes who came down from the Chaos Wastes decided to rape the south as they usually do. Anyone surprised? What, you? Well fuck you. They're the Norse, THEY KILL WHERE THEY WISH AND NONE DARE RESIST.

Sigmar's father foolishly thought he could resist, and marched north with a massive army 10,000 strong to face the 8000 Northmen. Bjorn came off the experience with a fatal case of axe through the skull. But it was in fact a clever ploy to save Sigmar from dying to the machinations of the Dark Gods who arrayed themselves against him to destroy his dream of a united nation. And if that sounds similar, it's because it is. Haha, disregard that, Sigmar is actually a rip-off of Charlemagne and Alfred the Great. And predates the Great Throne Vegetable by several years, thus making him the rip-off. Long story short, father and son got together in the spirit world and went on to kick the collective ass of an army of daemons, ending with Bjorn ascending boldly to Ulric's Hall. Despite getting killed fighting the Norse, Bjorn did manage to kill the Khornate Chaos Champion leading the tribes and thus narrowly prevailed in driving the Norse back. This heroic act of defiance against the Norse threat won the Unberogen the eternal friendship of the Cherusen and Taluetan tribes.

Filled with righteous rage, Sigmar marched north when the wolves of the Norsii raided and slaughtered the Udoses (Iron Age Scottish Highlanders) in the area of what is now Ostland. Sigmar then massacred the Norse, thus valorously avenging the blood-geld of the Udoses in a situation somewhat similar to the Bloody Verdict of Verden, because both he and Charlemagne were basically killing people who didn't join him and didn't believe the same way he did, thus driving them to Norsca where they would nurse an eternal hatred of the south in general and the Empire in particular that makes the hatred Chaos Marines have for the Emperor look like a stuttering spark in comparison. Seriously, tribal warfare was nothing out-of-the-ordinary before Sigmar's pussy notions of unity and empires. These offenses against the Norse also serve to solidify Sigmar as an Alfred the Great rip-off, as if building his entire bureaucracy from scratch didn't already.

Concurrent with this, Sigmar also rode hard to Middenheim to fight (lightning strikes when Ghal-Maraz bites, you know) Artur of the Teutogens. It is often said that a man must find the proper balance of pride within himself. Too little, and a man will never accomplish anything in his life. Too much, and he'll do something fucking stupid, like climbing the Fauschlag. Sigmar was of the latter disposition. Sigmar, and his bodyguard Alfgeir, climbed the great mountain that held the city of Middenheim, sneaked into the building housing the flame of Ulric and there challenged Artur of the Teutogens to single combat for rulership of the tribe. Artur then managed to throw Sigmar into the Flame, but Ulric had already chosen him as his Champion so Sigmar simply walked out of it, howled like a wolf (literally) and hammered Artur's skull somewhere into his ribcage. This is commonly accepted as the point where Sigmar united the tribes. Except for the Jutones, but we'll get to them later.

Battle of Black-Fire Pass[edit]

So, after he brought the tribes under his banner, Sigmar set about aiding the Dwarfs in defeating one of the greatest Orc WAAAGHS! in Imperial history. People far more intelligent than I have already described said battle in various sourcebooks, so I will not attempt to match their words.

Long story short, Sigmar and the tribesmen outmuscled the Orcs and Sigmar killed the Warboss on the top of the matter with a single return-stroke of his hammer. Thus annihilating the Orc threat, helping the Dwarfs, assuring the continuity of the two peoples and proving the rightness of his ideal of Imperial unity.

The First Emperor[edit]

After his victory, Sigmar was crowned Emperor of the newly formed Empire and ruled his people with wisdom and courage.

Two major threats during his reign was a daemon prince leading a horde of norsii that assaulted the north of the Empire and the great Necromancer Nagash, who was after some of his bling which Sigmar had. Sigmar promptly said 'FFFFFFFFFFFF UUUUUUUUUUU' to both these threats and gave his hammer some exercise on their heads. And this was with a large skaven army trying to get the upper head by assaulting the worn out Empire forces after Sigmar had defeated the chaos forces. It is reputed Sigmar took one look at the mangy ratmen, rolled his eyes to the sky in digust and set off to bring about some hammer time.

Nagash[edit]

Before Nagash's invasion, Sigmar went to give the Norseman a taste of their own medicine by raiding their frozen wood shack at Norsca, only to come back when he can't raid into further north. He later fought the necromancer at the brass keep and gotten Nagash's crown, the artifact Nagash was looking for in order to regain his power. So yeah, Nagash gather all his skeleton buddies and his vampire cunts into the heart of empire for his crown. During the raid, Nagash had kill and resurrect many warriors and generals of the empire for his wight king and meat shield, and he did it in a pattern that prevent them from reinforce to sigmar's force in order to weaken the empire army. During this time, Sigmar was finding Nagash's weakness with the help from his trusty advisor, only to find out is the crown itself. Since Nagash was only thinking about his shining crown, Sigmar pulled a bait and switch by wearing the crown, not only attract Nagash attention, but also gained immunity against Nagash's magic. During the confrontation, Sigmar smack around Nagash's puppets with his Ghal Maraz like nothing. When facing Nagash, Sigmar bait the necromancer with his own crown then gave him a taste of his hammer. The hammer, suddenly glows with magic and landed in Nagash's chest that blows him up with the energy from the ancient dwarven rune engraved on the hammer. With Nagash gone to the underworld, jail rape by the underworld spirits as well as the dead god Morr/Usirian, he cursed the Vampires for betray him by curse them with the vulnerability to Sigmar's faith. Vampires flee like the cowards they are after Sigmar gave them a bitch taunt by telling them they are his bitch until the End Times. The church of Sigmar as well as the witch hunter order were also founded soon after to combat the undead for the future generations.

Abdication[edit]

In the fiftieth year of his reign, Sigmar set aside his crown and left the Empire. He was last seen heading towards the World Edge Mountains, possibly to see the dwarfs although they have said nothing on the matter if their records hold if Sigmar did pop around for tea. No one saw Sigmar alive again and he passed into legend, a legendary hero to the Empire. The final End Times book reveals that Sigmar was raised to godhood, though Tzeentch trapped him in the great vortex.

Rise of a God[edit]

While heroes quite rightly are revered, in Sigmar's case it was taken to a whole new level of fan devotion. His legendary deeds inspired others and over time he came to be worshiped as a God by some loonies who should have known better (however with divine intervention in the past with Sigmar may be proof that he did join the Gods of Order who are busting their balls to keep the Dark Gods from killing and corrupting everybody).

But amazingly, their prayers were answered. Those who displayed a belief in Sigmar found he (or at least someone) was answering their prayers and the faith in the new God spread like hotcakes through the Empire.

The Church of Ulric, the current state church at the time, didn't take kindly to this and did it in a way we see in 40k... with the declaration of HERESY and burning everyone at the stake.

After a while this was stopped and both faiths were given importance in the Empire although the Church of Sigmar came to be the State Church (which shows Ulric was still trolled over).

The Old World and the End Times[edit]

Sigmar is the main god of the Empire and he works hard to protect his people against the ravages of darkness that threaten to overwhelm them all. This is not an easy task and the poor man gets no annual holiday. He is constantly running around putting out fires started by Chaos or other gods and it seems they won't cut him any slack anytime soon, but fortunately he probably has some back up from his own god he worshiped, the shorty ancestor Gods, aid from the High Elf Gods (probably part of Asuryaan's plan if it's true); pretty much its a jointed effort of all the Gods of Order.

During the End Times, it was revealed that Tzeentch had bound him into the Wind of Heaven shortly after his ascension. Tzeentch feared that Sigmar would grow too powerful and unite the gods of men, elves, dwarfs and orcs into the warhammer avengers. Ironically, this plan almost completely backfires in his face, as Sigmar grows more powerful thanks to being bound to the Wind, and once freed ends up uniting the Incarnates (the new gods) into the anti-Chaos avengers. When Teclis unbound the Vortex, the newly freed Sigmar invested a part of his power into his Chosen Valten (which passed into Ghal-Maraz after Valten's death) and possessed the body of the recently deceased Karl Franz to return to the world, later taking his hammer back to restore himself to his full strength. As the world ends, He and Archaon wrestle over Ghal-Maraz, and they vanish shortly before everything is destroyed.

Age of Sigmar[edit]

"For in Him all the fullness of deity lives in bodily form."
-Colossians 2:9

Following his wrestling bout, Sigmar reclaimed Ghal-Maraz, but was rendered helpless as he tumbled through the void that used to be the Warhammer World. Eventually, he collided with the metal core of the old world, which apparently has transmuted into the same material as the comet which heralded his birth, Sigmarite. With the aid of a Star Drake named Dracothion, which may or may not be Sotek, Sigmar restarts reality using the remaining essence of the Winds of Magic and organized the other Incarnates into a new pantheon with himself as its leader, bringing an age of prosperity to the emerging civilizations of the Mortal Realms. Following the Chaos' invasion, he sealed the entrances into his realm of Azyr, and has only recently opened it back up to launch a long planned counterattack against Chaos with his greatest creation, the demigod warriors known as the Stormcast Eternals.

As an interesting note, Sigmar has been shown to be capable of forgiving people who have wronged him; while this may have not ended well in the case of the likes of Nagash, he and his hosts have been shown to put aside vengeance if there is a chance for someone to get redeemed (they may still turn you into pulp if you try to abuse their trust, so no Horus shenanigans here), or a territory to be rescued from the grip of Chaos: good news for the Mortal Kingdoms and people who were mutated and exposed to Chaos unwillingly.

Also, he doesn't follow the public policies of the Emperor, as Sigmar accepts his title of deity and doesn't give the boot to his worshipers, even while personally he loathes the responsibilities of god-king as he would prefer to rush the enemy and crack some skulls instead of doing all the administrative and logistic job; must be hard to manage an entire reality and a multidimensional counter-invasion.

Another cool thing about Sigmar is that he sees people on an individual basis, not just expendable statistics for some risky master plan, Sigmar feels it for YOU and each and everyone of his followers and unlike Emprah he has never given up on mankind and their allies once things went ugly.

NOTE: Don't mention this to EMPRAH fans. Most are still raging over the portrayal of him in Master of Mankind and stubbornly cling on to their image of him as a well intentioned extremist who was nevertheless a good guy at heart and whom actually gave a shit about his followers, GeeDubs don't let the ADB ruin Sigmar's reputation too!

In Warhammer 40,000[edit]

In the current official publications of Games Workshop, there is no link between Warhammer Fantasy Battle and Warhammer 40,000, but that's never gotten in the way of the fandom, especially considering that at one point, WFB was explicitly part of the 40k universe. A recurring hypothesis is that Sigmar is one of the Unknown Primarchs. One could posit that the twin-tailed comet which heralded his birth was actually the genetor-pod falling to the Warhammer World, that his mysterious departure was him leaving to take command of his Space Marine Legion (tentatively called the Emperor's Hammers), and that the miracles credited to him are in fact the result of the God-Emperor of Mankind. Recent pieces of background, detailing Sigmar's birth and characteristics, tend to invalidate this theory, however. Thank The Emperor (As In Sigmar, not the other one you bolter humping zombie worshiper).

Trivia[edit]

  • Sigmar is an old Frankish name meaning "famous by victory". Fitting, considering his awesomeness.

See Also[edit]

  • THE EMPIRE for the EMPIRE he founded.
  • Azyr, the Realm of Heavens, what he probably hoped his Empire could have become in time, and nowadays the only mortal realm free of Chaos in the setting.
  • Ulric for his spiritual liege personal god, which according to the founder of the Church of Sigmar, He crowned Sigmar as a God, which came to the founder in a vision.
  • The Emperor, for his considerably less competent and manly (but vastly more Anatolian) Warhammer 40,000 counterpart.
  • Everqueen for his counterpart being in comparison to the 40k's EMPRAH among the elves.
The Gods of the Empire
Morr - Myrmidia - Ranald - Shallya - Sigmar - Ulric - Verena