"HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE."
- – The Allied Master Computer, I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream
"SKARBRAND DOESN'T APPRECIATE PHYSICAL CONTACT!"
Skarbrand the Exiled One,"SÄäsbrand", "That Bloke", was formerly the most powerful Bloodthirster in the service of Khorne. He was so powerful, in fact, that Tzeentch took notice and began encouraging him to kill, maim and burn even more in the service of his lord until he was considered a seething tower of rage. This might seem counterproductive in the extreme, but eventually Skarbrand got so angry that he tried (and failed) to cheap-shot Khorne himself, just as Tzeentch planned.
Skarbrand's blow that could've split a mountain or killed a nation took only the tiniest of chinks from Khorne's armor and got his attention. Khorne was somewhat displeased with this treachery, and proceeded to choke Skarbrand of all thought or reason (insomuch as a Bloodthirster has either) until all that remained of him was his boundless rage. He then tossed Skarbrand away so hard that he flew for a solid week.
Skarbrand's wings were destroyed by the impact, but he kept on killing indiscriminately in the name of the Blood God. In fact, he's so goddamn angry that he makes everyone near him go crazy with blood-lust too. In a somewhat ironic twist of fate, he kills far more than he did when he was in Khorne's good graces. Then again Khorne can no longer directly command Skarbrand after his banishment, so if Tzeentch didn't push him to the edge; he could have been even more powerful and dangerous than An'ggrath or Angron, given enough time under Khorne's leadership.
He recently appeared on the fortress world Lutoris Epsilon and caused all the Guardsmen defending the planet to go all 28 Days Later on each other, which makes one wonder why Khorne doesn't just send him to Cadia. Probably the disowning for the whole "tried to kill me" thing. He then butchered his way out of a Grey Knight ambush on Phaedes Ekron. In his last known appearance, he was unceremoniously one-shot by Dante, being cut in half and sent back to the Warp. Sadface.
That did not last long however, as he appeared in the second Gathering Storm book "teamed up" with The Masque of Slaanesh as part of a bet on who could slaughter the most Eldar on an Exodite world. Of course, that was all just so The Masque could use him to break though seals placed on a webway gate which led straight into Biel-Tan His reaction when he discovered this was reportedly bellowing his scorn for the color green, one of the primary colors of Biel-Tan, before he charged the webway gate to further express his hatred. He joined The Masque in the fighting afterwards (or rather, continued to compete for their bet), but was surprisingly defeated and banished by the craftworld's Avatar of Khaine (we're really just surprised GW didn't decide to use the Avatar as punching bag yet again, to prop up Skarbrand's BBEG levels like what they typically do).
He also appeared on the Blackstone Fortress where Roboute Guilliman and his Crusade were being held prisoner. After Kairos refused to kill Guilliman due to wanting to spare him for future plans Skarbrand attacked the Fortress with a Khornate Warband so he could take Roboute's skull for Khorne and also because he is repulsed by disagreements. However due to the Black Templar Emperor's Champion sacrificing himself and planting his sword in Skarbrand's chest, Roboute was able to give the Bloodthirster a good beating and escaped.
On the Tabletop
Skarbrand is an HQ choice for a Daemons army. He's got the standard 'thirster statline, minus wings. He has a S5 AP- template called "Bellow of Endless Fury" (yes, he's so angry that his roar can kill you) and a pair of axes called Slaughter and Carnage, which have Fleshbane and Armorbane, respectively. Note that this gives you an extra attack for paired CCWs. Plus, every unit, friendly or enemy, within 12" of him gets Rage and Hatred, including himself. If made the warlord, all his attacks inflict instant death, giving you a ridiculous melee beatstick that will take down pretty much anything you point him at. Nine WS10, I10 hits, rerolling, on the charge that wound on 2s, ignore armor, and inflict instant death? That Wraithknight is done. And all this for less than the cost of a standard Bloodthirster of Unfettered Fury.
The problem, of course, is getting there: Skarbrand has no wings to get him into the backfield. A supporting Grimoire of True Names can help him get where he needs to be. And the bricks that an opponent will shit when your Skarbrand rocks a 2++ from Warp Surge + Grimoire is worth every second.
- Skarbrand hates signs.
- Skarbrand hates knocking sounds.
- Skarbrand hates going outside.
- Skarbrand also hates going INSIDE.
- Skarbrand hates doorframes slightly less than the above things.
- Skarbrand spends most of his day to day life standing in said-doorframes.
- Skarbrand doesn't appreciate physical contact.
- Skarbrand despises inconveniences.
- Skarbrand dislikes being misinterpreted.
- As a respectable member of society, Skarbrand loathes stealing.
- Skarbrand has trouble internalizing his accomplishments. Naturally, he hates it.
- Skarbrand hates the bald, and the balding almost as much.
- Skarbrand hates this list (as it is getting longer)
- Skarbrand hates named characters and will subsequently beat them to a literal pulp. Whether or not Skarbrand hates himself for being a named character is unknown, as no one has asked Skarbrand this question and survived.
- Skarbrand hates when people project their issues onto him.
- Skarbrand hates furries.
- Skarbrand hates noisy theater patrons.
- Skarbrand once had a crush on Valkia the Bloody, Khorne beat him to the kiss. In fact, this may have been the actual reason Skarbrand tried to overthrow Khorne.
- Skarbrand does not hate rye bread, oddly enough.
Skarband hates Finecast