Snake Bites

From 1d4chan
Snake Bites symbol.png

"People who pride themselves on their "complexity" and deride others for being "simplistic" should realize that the truth is often not very complicated."

– Thomas Sowell

In the grim darkness of the far future, sometimes all dem shiny gubbinz just don't cut it, and a good ole' Choppa is all you need. For the Orks of the Snakebites Clan, that is practically the only philosophy they live by.

Overview and traditions[edit]

The Snakebites are the closest thing in 40k that greenskins can get to their Fantasy/AoS (except for Feral Orks, who join up with the Snake Bites when a WAAAGH picks them up anyway) counterparts. Unlike the other clans, the Snakebites routinely assure themselves "The Old Ways Are Best", and shun fancy technology for practicality - even though there's no stipulation against taking any mekaniaks. Their backwards ways are so savage that, for most other ork clans, the Snakebites come off as bumpkins in need of a good krumpin' to get back into fighting shape. Any Tech or Shootas they do end up with usually ends up in the hands of their grots, who definitely aren't going to complain about the old ways when they can just blast things from yards out. Besides, now that they're occupied, the old ways of chopping things to the size of croutons can begin!

While the other clan's descriptions of their savageness is indeed an accurate assessment of their technological prowess, the Snakebites are dead hard; their bodies forged and strengthened by their savage ways and their austere lifestyles, which culminates in a "coming of age" ritual where a Snakebite Ork will be considered one of the clan if he goads a venomous animal to bite him, and then suck the venom out of him himself. Through this ritual that is continued for every major orkish milestone in their lives, the Snakebites best are impossibly tough, and resistant to all manner of poisons and toxins, and as brutally cunning and cunningly brutal as any of their more technologically-inclined kin. So important is this ritual that the Snakebites often carry a zoo's worth of venomous reptiles and insects with them on their journeys throughout the stars, just in case the places they end up can't satisfy their need for snakes that can boil your brain alive with neurotoxins.

And where their tech acumen fails, their herding and breeding ability is the best among Ork-kind; Their Runtherdz aren't just the cunnin'est, they're also the most successful, with their grots being the meanest and the toughest bastards an Ork can dump about 200 teef down for. It is also they alone who know one of the most ancient secrets of Squig-raising, able to turn the tiny murder-kirbys into the mighty, ravenous Squiggoth (though that's never been a special thing only they get on the Tabletop.), and are well known for just how hard and fast they can overtake an enemy in a great, disorganized horde of grot, Squiggoth, and tribal violence.

As for their past, it's theorized that this clan is indeed the last link to the Pre-Imperial contact Kultur of Ork-Kind, and indeed their ways are simple, they are constantly moving, always lookin' for the next fight, enough loot to keep the Squiggoth's from runnin' off, and then usually finding their way off the planet in a never ending cycle.

On the Tabletop[edit]

In 8e, The Snakebites were somewhat of a mixed bag. Their abilities don't have any synergy, unlike the other clans, but they're thematic as hell. 9e...kind of fixed that. Not by much, but it definitely put things back the way it should've been: The Clan is tankier than usual with it's entirely re-done Kultur (though most of your units are base toughness 5 so it's not that big of a change), but it's big new addition is for SQUIG units, which now get a +1 to wounds whenever they charge or do heroic interventions, and given how a bunch of SQUIG units are surprisingly useful, it can a surprisingly dangerous army. Further, their Warlord Trait is essentially a chance to survive getting one-shot. They're still very situational and almost require the use of Squig units to be dangerous, but they also have one of the best named characters the Orkz have access to, so it somewhat evens out.

Gallery[edit]

Clans ov da Orks
Clans: Bad Moons - Blood Axes - Deathskulls - Goffs - Evil Sunz - Snake Bites
Non-Clan Factions: Freebooterz - Feral Orks - Speed Freeks - Dred Mob - Gretchin Revolutionary Committee - Beast Snaggas