Squat Crusade: The Musical

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The long-awaited sequel to the incredibly successful Deffwotch.

In Squat Crusade: The Musical, the players are some of the last Squats in the galaxy, having narrowly escaped the destruction of the Homeworlds. Their objective is to rebuild their race (because 6e says it's okay), but they must deal with a hostile galaxy, enemies who would see them burn, and their own ineptitude.

Watch out for this picture. It signals a Squat Crusade: The Musical thread.


The Brotherhood[edit]

The stars of Squat Crusade: The Musical

Philip Ragebeard Dreambeard - Warlord DREAM Warlord

Mortimer has always been Warlord. Though he has dreamt of a mysterious dream other warlord. Claiming it was not a dream is doubleplusungood crimethink. 'twas all just a dream.

Mortimer the Lazy - Warlord

As any good Squat Mortimer has a special talent for hating, in his case 'Hatred: Anything That Makes Me Move'. Hovers along in his hoverchair to avoid moving. Like any good Warlord he does his Bureaucratic paperwork with flamers and is significantly better at being Warlord than he probably should be, all things considered.

Kim Jong Il - Cardinal of the Ancestor Cult

Clever, thoughtful, helpful, friendly, eager, and skilled, Kim Jong Il is everything his ill-fated low-ranking pilot father Kim Il Sung wasn't. Is held as a figure of great honour by the World Eaters, due to shenanigans.

Engineer Velm - Guild Engineer

Consistently competent tech-faerie of a spessdorf who has, in general, a keen grasp of what the fuck. Also pilots a suit of Exo-Armor that basically makes her a sawed-off Dreadnought, except for the being-mostly-dead thing.

Steelbeard Shieldhammer - Berserker

Recently promoted to the Brotherhood after the Purging of Dreambeard Promoted due to showing great valour and heroics on the battlefield, Steelbeard has proven to be a great asset for distracting enemy forces. His tried-and-true tactic of bullrushing every single opponent has resulted in him taking many, many shots that would otherwise be directed at the guys who can do things other than 'apply hammer to face.' Continually thwarted by the fact that the only single-target encounters thus far have all been against things that are huge.

The Fleet[edit]

The Bearded Fury - Light Cruiser

The Drinks All Around - Mass Conveyor

The Galactus - Factory Ship

See also[edit]