Stormtalon

From 1d4chan
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This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.
The flying potato in all its glory
What everyone with two brain cells to rub together thinks it looks like

The Stormtalon gunship is a light attack aircraft used by the Space Marines. Armed with a twin-linked assault cannon and your choice of sponsons (either Skyhammer Missile Launchers or Typhoon Missile Launchers). It's also about as aerodynamic as a toaster, yet still the fastest light aircraft in the Imperium. Honestly, you would think the Guardsmen's flyers, resembling actual aircraft, would go faster than a god-damn guppy-potato metal box with turbocharged jet engines. Guess the engines are just that powerful. Which brings up the question of why larger versions of those engines aren't mounted on Navy atmospheric craft. Not to mention why they don't replace the giant dead weight rocket on their fighters with the type of engine used on Thunderhawks or better yet, Marauders. Crunchwise, its the faster, weaker, less resilient little brother of the Stormraven. You thought that was the Land Speeder, didn't you?

In all seriousness, though, laughing at it won’t stop it from mowing you down with lots of dakka.

Overview[edit]

The thing is little more than an armored compartment with two engines strapped to the sides and a massive gun hanging underneath. Like a Sentinel with a jet pack. The vehicle is meant for lightning-fast anti-infantry support fire, a niche already filled by a number of other Imperial vehicles, most of whom are a lot sturdier than the Stormtalon. GW noticed this little oversight, so in order to force you to buy it anyway they made it a flyer in 6th edition. If you've played Command and Conquer you might notice a certain resemblance to GDI's Orca gunship (as well as being about as fragile to boot). Obviously purely coincidental, after all, ripping off other franchises is bad. (Also, it looks kind of like the Iron Eagle Gyrocopter.)

No evidence is yet possessed on how pissed off the Imperial Navy are that the Space Marines now have their own dogfighter, which was meant to be solely the Navy's domain.

There have been several doomed valiant questionable efforts by modelers to convert the Stormtalon into something that doesn't look completely ridiculous, but their success on the matter is debatable (just remove the jets and add proper rotors, the hull's already taken from an attack helicopter.)

The new Stormhawk Interceptor, which appears to be a variant of the Stormtalon design, also looks for all the world like it's ripping off the Stormtalon conversions people have been making. Just look at it!

Gallery[edit]

Conversions[edit]

Vehicles of the Imperium of Man
Walkers Contemptor-Galatus Dreadnought - Contemptor-Incaendius Dreadnought - Death Company Dreadnought
Deathwatch Dreadnought - Dreadnought - Nemesis Dreadknight - Doomglaive Dreadnought - Furioso Dreadnought
Ironstrider Ballistarius - Invictor Tactical Warsuit - Librarian Dreadnought - Mortifier - Mortis Dreadnought
Onager Dunecrawler - Penitent Engine - Redemptor Dreadnought - Sentinel - Space Wolves Venerable Dreadnought
Sydonian Dragoon - Telemon Heavy Dreadnought - Throne of Judgement - Wulfen Dreadnought - Paragon Warsuit
Arachni-rig - Ridge Walker
Unmanned
Robots
Auto-Gurney - Ambot - Castellan-class robot - Cataphract-class robot - Colossus-class robot
Conqueror-class robot - Crusader-class robot - Cyclops Demolition Vehicle - CATs - Servo-Automata
Scyllax-class robot - Thanatar-class robot - Vultarax stratos-automata
Transports Aurox - Chimera - Coronus Grav Carrier - Crassus Armored Assault Transport - Chronos Pattern Ironcrawler
Goliath Truck - Gorgon Armored Assault Transport - Hades Breaching Drill - Immolator - Impulsor - Macro-Hauler
Pegasus AAV - Razorback Transport - Repressor - Rhino - Road-Wheeler - Taurox - Testudo - Titan Train
Trojan Support Vehicle - Triaros Armoured Conveyer - Tunneling Transport Vehicles
Light
Vehicles
Atlas Recovery Tank - Achilles Ridgerunner - Bane Wolf - Bike Squad - Cargo-8 Ridgehauler - Centaur Utility Vehicle
Devil Dog - Field Ordnance Battery - Galvanic Servohauler - Goliath Mauler - Hellhound - Invader ATV - Land Crawler
Pegasus AFV - Salamander Reconnaissance Tank - Scylla Light Tank - Siegfried - Squat Bike - Squat Trike - Tauros
Tectonic Fragdrill - Venator - Wolfquad
Battle
Tanks
Castigator Tank - Caladius Grav-Tank - Gladiator Tank - Kratos Heavy Assault Tank - Krios Battle Tank
Land Raider - Leman Russ Battle Tank - Predator - Ragnarok - Repulsor Tank - Rogal Dorn Battle Tank
Sabre Tank Hunter - Sicaran Battle Tank - Spartan Assault Tank - Vindicator
Ordnance Basilisk Artillery Gun - Colossus Bombard - Deathstrike Missile Launcher - Exorcist
Goliath Mega-Cannon - Griffon Heavy Mortar Carrier - Hunter - Hydra Flak Tank
Legion Arquitor Bombard - Manticore Launcher Tank - Medusa Siege Gun
Rapier Armoured Carrier - Stalker - Thunderfire Cannon - Whirlwind
Wyvern Suppression Tank
Superheavy
Tanks
Astraeus - Baneblade - Capitol Imperialis - Cerberus Heavy Tank Destroyer - Fellblade
Leviathan - Macharius Heavy Tank - Macrocarid Explorator - Malcador Heavy Tank
Mobile Cathedral - Mastodon - Ordinatus - Typhon Heavy Siege Tank
Skimmers Dawneagle Jetbike - Escher Cutter - Gyrfalcon Pattern Jetbike - Imperial Jetbike
Javelin Attack Speeder - Grav-Cutter - Grav-Rhino - Kharon - Land Speeder
Land Speeder Vengeance - Pulpit of Saint Holline's Basilica - Skorpius Hover Tank
Stormrider - Storm Speeder - Pallas Grav-Attack
Flyers Archaeocopter - Ares Gunship - Caestus Assault Ram - Container Transporter - Corvus Blackstar
Fire Raptor - Iron Eagle Gyrocopter - Nephilim Jetfighter - Orgus Flyer - Orion Gunship - Overlord Gunship
Sky Talon - Space Marine Landing Craft - Storm Eagle - Stormbird - Stormhawk - Chiropteran
Stormraven - Stormtalon - Stormwolf - Thunderhawk - Valkyrie - Vendetta - Vulture
Fighters &
Bombers
Avenger Strike Fighter - Lightning Fighter - Marauder Bomber
Stormfang - Thunderbolt Fighter - Xiphon Interceptor
Spacecraft Aquila Lander - Arvus Lighter - Boarding Torpedo - Devourer Dropship - Drop Pod
Faustus Interceptor - Fury Interceptor - Gun-Cutter - Shark Assault Boat
Starhawk Bomber - Tetrarch Heavy Lander - Galaxy Troop Ship
Titans Imperial Knight - Warhound Scout Titan - Dire Wolf Heavy Scout Titan - Reaver Battle Titan
Warbringer Nemesis Titan - Warlord Battle Titan - Warmaster Heavy Battle Titan - Emperor Battle Titan
Forces of the Codex Compliant Astartes
Command: Apothecary - Brother-Captain - Brother-Sergeant - Chaplain - Chapter Master
Command Squad - Honour Guard (Victrix Guard) - Librarian - Techmarine
Troops: Assault Squad - Centurion Squad - Chapter Serf - CATs - Devastator Squad
Scout Squad - Tactical Squad - Terminator Squad - Veteran Squad
Great Crusade-era: Breacher Siege Squad - Consul - Despoiler Squad - Destroyer Squad
Legion Herald - Legion Outrider Squad - Legion Vigilator - Moritat
Master of the Signal - Praetor - Reconnaissance Squad - Seeker Squad
Sky Hunter Squad - Tactical Support Squad
Structures: Castellum Stronghold
Transports: Land Raider - Mastodon Heavy Assault Transport
Razorback Transport - Rhino Transport - Spartan Assault Tank - Termite
Vehicles: Bike Squad - Dreadnought (Castraferrum - Contemptor - Deredeo
Leviathan
) - Javelin Attack Speeder - Jetbike - Kratos Heavy Assault Tank
Land Speeder - Predator Tank - Sabre Tank Hunter - Sicaran Battle Tank
Vindicator
Ordnance: Hunter - Legion Arquitor Bombard - Rapier Armoured Carrier - Stalker
Thunderfire Cannon - Whirlwind
Flyers: Caestus Assault Ram - Fire Raptor - Orgus Flyer - Storm Eagle - Stormbird
Stormhawk - Stormraven - Stormtalon - Thunderhawk - Xiphon Interceptor
Superheavy Tanks: Cerberus Heavy Tank Destroyer - Fellblade Super-Heavy Tank
Typhon Heavy Siege Tank
Spacecraft: Boarding Torpedo - Drop Pod - Space Marine Landing Craft
Allied Space Marines: Fallen Angel - Primaris Marine - Blood Angels - Dark Angels
Deathwatch - Grey Knights - Space Wolves - Black Templars
Forces of the Blood Angels
Command: Apothecary - Brother-Captain - Brother-Sergeant - Chaplain
Chapter Master - Librarian - Sanguinary Priest - Techmarine
Troops: Assault Squad - Devastator Squad - Sanguinary Guard - Scout Squad
Tactical Squad - Terminator Squad - Veteran Squad
Death Company: Death Company - Death Company Chaplain - Death Company Terminator
Great Crusade-era: Angel's Tears - Crimson Paladin - Dawnbreaker
Walkers: Contemptor-Furioso Dreadnought - Contemptor-Incaendius Dreadnought
Death Company Dreadnought - Dreadnought - Furioso Dreadnought
Librarian Dreadnought
Transports: Razorback - Rhino
Vehicles: Baal Predator - Land Raider (Land Raider Crusader - Land Raider Phobos
Land Raider Redeemer - Land Raider Angel Infernus
)
Predator Tank - Vindicator - Hunter - Stalker - Whirlwind
Flyers: Stormhawk - Stormraven - Stormtalon - Storm Eagle - Thunderhawk
Spacecraft: Boarding Torpedo - Drop Pod - Space Marine Landing Craft
Allies: Space Marines - Primaris Marines
Forces of the Black Templars
Command: High Marshal - Marshal - Castellan - Emperor's Champion
Brother-Captain - Chaplain - Techmarine - Apothecary
Troops: Sword Brethren - Terminator Squad
Black Templar Neophyte - Initiate
Crusader Squad
Walkers: Castraferrum Dreadnought
Vehicles: Bike Squad - Rhino - Razorback - Land Speeder
Predator - Vindicator - Whirlwind - Stalker - Hunter
Land Raider (Land Raider Redeemer - Land Raider Crusader)
Flyers: Thunderhawk - Stormraven - Stormtalon
Stormhawk - Storm Eagle
Spacecraft: Drop Pod - Boarding Torpedo
Space Marine Landing Craft
Allies: Sisters of Battle - Space Marines - Primaris Marines
Forces of the Grey Knights
Command: Brotherhood Champion - Grand Master - Librarian
Techmarine - Chaplain - Apothecary
Troops: Grey Knight Paladin - Interceptor Squad - Justicar
Purgation Squad - Purifier - Strike Squad - Terminator Squad
Walkers: Dreadknight - Doomglaive Dreadnought - Venerable Dreadnought
Vehicles: Land Raider (Land Raider Crusader - Land Raider Vortimer)
Rhino - Razorback (Razorback Vortimer)
Flyers: Stormraven - Stormtalon - Stormhawk - Thunderhawk
Spacecraft: Aquila Lander - Boarding Torpedo
Drop Pod - Space Marine Landing Craft
Allies: Inquisition - Sisters of Battle
Forces of the Fallen
Command: Cypher - Fallen Champion
Troops: Fallen
Flyers: Stormtalon - Thunderhawk
Spacecraft: Drop Pod
Allies: Chaos Space Marines
Space Marines (Dark Angels Exempted)