Talk:The Twin Crusades: The Black Crusade on Marion
Feel free to leave feedback here. I'd like to get some input from readers. I've taken what Someone else. said to me in the first thread to heart, even though I get the feeling he enjoyed it the least out of everyone. His words, what he said, his criticisms encouraged me to revise my story. So in short, thank you Someone else., you encouraged me to not make shit. Perhaps criticisms from others will help me improve further. --Not Not Long Poster 14:24, 19 November 2011.
- Well, a simple run through Word's spelling/grammar check would go a long way; by the end of the story, errors have begun to compound themselves. That's just me being anal, though. I like the idea of a splinter fleet attacking the Knights under Abbadon's instruction. Someone else. 00:45, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
Thus far the story is very immersive, the characters are very consistent, IE the PDF soldier sounds like a PDF soldier, I have an idea for a character that I've begun writing who's a civilian, but beyond him leaving work, I'm not sure if I should continue.
WAITING FOR SOME SERIOUS WRITING HERE. PEOPLE ARE ACCUSING THE MARINES FOR BEING MS'S. I KNOW THAT THE ANONS THAT DID THE PROJECT DID ALL THE FLESHING OUT, BUT THE MARINES AND THE SECTOR WERE SHOWN IN A TOO PERFECT LIGHT. GIVE THEM SOME REALLY SERIOUS, GRUELLING FIGHTS (INCLUDING INFIGHTING, WHAT KIND? DUNNO, MAYBE ABOUT PRIORITIZING AND SO ON). BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, HOW THEY MANAGE TO FIGHT THEIR ENEMIES. IN THAT TWIN CRUSADE STORY, PRESENT THE KNIGHTS INDUCTOR ON HOW THEY FIGHT THEIR ENEMIES, HOW MANY CASUALTIES THEY GET. GIVE THEM STRUGGLES. COMBINE IT WITH THAT STORY ABOUT THE CRUSADE THAT HAPPENED (WELL, IT IS HAPPENING IN THE Return of the Reasonable Marines). The latter story ain't finished and I want to know how it ends. The Knights Inductor are so far too perfect. Give them hard decisions. Give them hard battles. Make them slightly flawed, yet not to the point that it would derive from the core of them being Reasonable Marines. You guys need to work on them more. Ben 22:45 (+1:00), Warsaw, 12 March 2014
