That Guy Checklist
That Guy never brings his own food, and always steals everyone else's.
That Guy always always does loud and bad imitations when he plays. K-Booom! Dakka-dakka-dakka! Vroom-vroom!
That Guy always smells bad and wears clothes that expose his overweight asscrack.
That Guy never shares his Cheetos if he ever brings any and he always gets orange dust all over everything. He doesn't clean his hands off before touching YOUR minis and books, either.
That Guy will always bring so much cheese to the table that the other players instantly become lactose
intolerant and choke
(fun fact, cheese doesn't have much lactose so this probably wouldn't happen. ALSO choking IS NOT a symptom of lactose intolerance) BECAUSE THAT'S HOW BAD HIS CHEESE IS.
Whenever That Guy opens a Discord for a game he's a fan of, he'll quickly turn it into an absolute dictatorship centered around him being a dickass.
That Guy never bothers to learn the rules, but will happily crash play to a halt every single turn.
Alternately, That Guy will exploit every loophole in the rules to his advantage or require an utterly anal level of rule following whenever it suits him.
That Guy will try to fight against the party and consider himself clever (because he's "winning"), but will ragequit when the party kills him.
That Guy has a tendency to get really mad over nothing.
That Guy fires into melee combat without the proper feats and abilities.
That Guy plays an all Imperial Knight list in a friendly environment without announcing it and expects everybody to be fine with it.
That Guy doesn't just not paint his miniatures, he actively insults you for doing so. That, or he paints them too much and then insults your paint job.
That Guy asks to see his friends' spare parts, takes them, and does not give anything back.
When That Guy attends Magic: The Gathering events, such as a prerelease, he will pay for entry, take the rares from the Prerelease Kit, and leave. Shop owners HATE That Guy.
That Guy will often tell you he can forge swords when he, in fact, lacks a basic understanding of chemistry.
That Guy will complain about how bad Oblivion and Skyrim are and says that Morrowind is the best TES game, when in fact he has never finished, nor played, the original two or spin-off games.
That Guy will move 30 Zombies with eyeball measurement and maybe knock several over in the process but requires his opponent to measure each mm perfectly especially for charging.
That Guy will gladly demolish a new player while pretending to be overly nice but rages like hell when he tries a new game and sucks and blames everything on either the rules or the other players' failure in explaining.
That Guy will ALWAYS find a way to "prove" why this unit or that card of your army/deck is not good.
That Guy will gladly accept a cocked dice when it's beneficial for him as long as nobody notices but will unleash neckbeard-rage-hell on you if you even accidentally count one slightly cocked as a success yourself.
That Guy will continue to invite himself over to hang even after you finally kicked him out of the group.
That Guy moderates over at 1d4chan and about three other wikis and forums. And he does it for free.
Hey... FUCK THAT GUY!!!
THAT FUCKING GUY.
And the worst part about That Guy? We all see a little of ourselves in him... and shiver in disgust. The one good thing that That Guy does is move us to be a little better than we are... lest we end up like him.
Sometimes, a bunch of That Guys come together to form That Group, a group that only That Guys will tolerate being a part of. The worst part of That Group is that the That Guys that are part of That Group will use its existence to justify their actions to other groups.
The Lament of Humanity
The Ultimate example of 'That Guy'-hood has been achieved. The summit will never be reached by any other. The story of the Marty-Stu, Ao-Sue, Chief-Circle, or "That guy as a GM using a 'universal' homebrewed system across several games". And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Ladies and Gentlemen, read the tale of the one true That Guy... and despair/laugh.
To summarize; the BBEG of ALL Marty's campaigns is an alternate universe version of himself who became a psionic/vampire/shapeshifter that dual-wields lightsaber katanas. Due to having a psychic connection with his other-self, the BBEG can use OOC knowledge to warp reality around the players and thwart their plans (DM changes the setting on the fly to make his railroad as tight as a Dark Eldar's asshole).
He does this in order to bring "Peace" and "Order" to the multiverse by making a setting as horrible as possible and thus his self-insert will be heralded as their Messiah (or their next Mohammed... you WISH I was fucking kidding).
A taste of Marty's retardation beyond the obvious: Using a d20 system, Marty measured his own real life INT score at 18, and made it so that none of the characters being used by the players in his games had an INT higher than that. If the players came up with an idea for something complicated/scientific that he didn't know about off the top of his head, he could say "Your character isn't smart enough to know that or think of that". This man, with "18 INT", thinks that carbon dioxide doesn't dissolve in water (while holding a Mountain Dew), that sniper rifles are the same as heavy pistols, (Just bigger but otherwise same force/impact/etc) and the coup de grâce:
"Genes are like muscles dude, the more you use them the more you get! Then those get passed down to your offspring, like how giraffes have long necks!"
Yes, he somehow thinks Lamarckian inheritance is still a valid model of biology, despite it having been disproven in the 19th century. 18 INT our collective asses.
If you are a That Guy, fuck you. You are what's wrong with the world. Get a life and just have fun instead of focusing on winning so much. Part of the fun is learning and adapting your strategies, not just jumping from one thing to the next because it wins stuff.
- This Guy
- Marines Malevolent
- Matt Ward
- Magical realm, when That Guy becomes That GM and tries to push his fetishes on the players.
- Luke, a case study of what it is like to live with That Guy.
- TVTropes, which is many That Guys' favorite website, because nothing says creativity like a checklist of (often incorrectly applied) character traits and being a self-serving rules lawyer whenever a disagreement is encountered. (Note that That Guy, if he edits the wiki, is also probably That Troper.)