The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)

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"This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't moan when we stab them."

"An empire founded by war has to maintain itself by war."

– Charles de Montesquieu

"Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man."

– Henry Adams

"Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized."

– Terry Pratchett

History[edit]

Once upon a time there was a badass called Sigmar Unberogen. Sigmar was actually a good man in spite of BECAUSE of being a Germanic Conan the Barbarian. Sigmar's copious asskicking allowed him to befriend the Dwarfs, whose King Kurgan Ironbeard granted Sigmar a masterfully-crafted hammer known as Ghal-Maraz. (Yes, this is the hammer for which Warhammer is named.) He did so after Sigmar single-handily saved him from a band of Orcs that had kidnapped him. Because Sigmar is hardcore like that.

Map of the Empire

So after yet more adventures where Sigmar pretended to be Pagan-Charlemagne, included his girlfriend's brother turning into a Slaanesh Chaos Lord and ripping shit up alongside a Khorne-worshipping Norscan Chaos Lord called Cormac Bloodaxe.

Sigmar's unification of the clans is commonly thought to have been completed in -15 IC, where he brought the belligerent (and totally awesome) Tuetogens under his banner by defeating their leader Artur in single combat. Sigmar then went on a campaign of purgation, freeing the ancestral lands of his people from Greenskins and Beastmen, which culminated at the Battle of Black Fire Pass where he and the Dwarfs crushed a massive Orc WAAAGH!!!. Sigmar then retired to Reikdorf, where he was crowned Emperor by Ar-Ulric, the High Priest of Ulric. This remains the holiest day of the Imperial calender and is celebrated in the summer, on the 18th of Sigmarzeit.

His rule was just, fair and prosperous until 50 years later Sigmar abdicated the throne and decided he was Grimnir the Fearless, thought he could go the Chaos Wastes and World's Edge Mountains and survive. To do this he teamed up with his buddy Kurgan Ironbeard. Neither of whom were heard of again after they left.

And now, they are never to be heard from again. Such is the fate of those who trifle with the Northern gods WALK THE WOLF-PATH OF ULRIC!

The Expansion[edit]

Sigmar leaving his young Empire left a wee bit of an issue among his chieftains, now known as the Counts: he'd never married or left an heir (at least none anyone knew of), nor had he left any instructions on what the fuck they should do in case he'd want to fuck off and leave the Empire all of a sudden. Apparently they thought he was just going to sit there and rule forever like a certain other failure, but since that didn't turn out to happen they had to do something about it. After a bit of hilarity involving several of the Counts claiming the throne or otherwise infighting, until in a rare moment of clarity they decided that maybe they should vote for it. So they did, and a guy named Fulk of Wissenland got the biggest chunk of votes and thus became the next Emperor. They also renamed themselves as Elector Counts, 'cuz they're the counts that elect.

Fulk moved the capital into Nuln, where it stayed for a good while because plenty of other Emperors came from there and saw no reason to change this happy little thing. The Empire was doing pretty great at this time, so everyone decided to spend all this energy and prosperity for expanding even more. They went to where Kislev is today, poked around the foothills of Dorf land, integrated a bunch of tribes and petty kingdoms Sigmar had overlooked in his time, and pushed themselves into Bretonnia and Border Princes.

But as much as they could deal with dwarves and orcs and their fellow men, there was one bunch that wouldn't take no shit from the Empire, and that was - in a rare moment of manliness - Elves. Three different Provinces wanted a piece of the pie that was Laurelorn Forest, but the wood elf hippies kicked them out of their lawn time and time again. This culminated into the crushing defeat of a Drakwalder Count known only as "The Unlucky", which should tell you everything you need to know. In fact, this defeat pretty much kickstarted the Empire's decline: Drakwald never really recovered from the defeat, and they were pretty instrumental in bringing the rest down with them.

The Clusterfuck[edit]

As badly as Drakwald was doing after the defeat, they still had enough money to bribe their way into the Emperor's lofty seat a few times. And boy were they some corrupt fucks, caring far too much for their own pleasure than they cared for the Empire. One of particular note was the fat fuck named Ludwig the Fat, who elevated his Halfling chef into an Elector Count, giving the little hobbits their own vote for the Emperor - a fact that they will never shut up about. (He also got to troll the two provinces under which the Moot had initially belonged, because the daughters of their Counts had given him cold shoulder.)

This sort of incredibly decadent fuckery continued and escalated for over a hundred years, and it was finally brought to an end by a bunch of rat men out of fucking nowhere. They popped up plagues everywhere, conquered roughly half the Empire, and drove its people into infighting and Chaos. Quick and decisive action was required if anything was to be saved, and so the current ruler, Boris the Incompetent... well, the populace gave him that name, what the fuck did you expect he was like? Obviously he and his court locked themselves into his palace to party and wait for it to blow over. Instead they all got killed by the Skaven, who let him live just long enough to gloat over their impending victory to him.

Most of the Empire easily fell to Skaven, but there was one badass named Graf Mandred von Zelt, that decided he wouldn't be putting up with this shit. So he rode down from Middenheim and spent the next nine years rallying the human defenders and kicking the disgusting furries out of their land. Subsequently he was elected the new Emperor, nicknamed "Ratslayer", and dissolved the province of Drakwald to punish them for their fucktarded rule.

Mandred went on to slowly rebuild the Empire for the next twenty-five years, before the Skaven killed him in his sleep for revenge of their defeat. Afterwards the Empire would pretty much forget they even existed (partly due to Skaven machinations, partly due to bureaucratic incompetence), and instead followed on with another four hundred years of decline, only this time in the name of war instead of decadence. Hilarity ensued when two dudes and a girl simultaneously declared themselves the Emperor, and fun was to be had for all - unless they died, and many did. The Empire pretty much collapsed.

Armies of Darkness[edit]

Eventually the Empire got its shit together, just in time for a new threat to arise. After Drakwald, Sylvania was the nastiest province of the Empire, a place where dark magic flowed strongly and its rulers were still corrupt. As the current count lay dying, a man came up, married his daughter and became the new Count of Sylvania. As you may have guessed from the name, he wasn't a man (as in "not human", he was a marvelous, ballsy badass). Count Vlad spread the curse of vampirism among the nobles and was an iron fisted yet surprisingly benevolent Count to his people. Then, when everyone started noticing the unnatural aspects of his reign he used some of bone daddy's cliff-notes to summon an undead army and rofltstomped several provinces until he reached Altdorf. Before he could win, his magic ring stolen (which had brought him back each time he died no matter how it happened), he was staked by a heroic Empire pope, his wife killed herself Juliet-style and his armies were scattered.

Since the Empire had suffered too many losses to pursue them, Vlad's progeny successfully retreated to Sylvania and fought among themselves. This led to Konrad von Carstein (vampire Caligula) rising to power. Though he sucked at necromancy, he had many necromancer subjects. Once he allied with the Blood Dragon vampires he launched another war on the Empire. They even attacked the Dwarfs who came to help, with a Blood Dragon killing the Dwarf High King. An Emperor died during this time and there was a new candidate, who everyone supported until his skin peeled open and one of his eyes fell out; Konrad, in a rare moment of cunning, had tried to trick them into electing a zombie under his control as Emperor. Eventually Konrad's insanity wore his army down or turned them against him and while in an insane fit he was captured and killed with a runefang to the heart.

After this Vlad's first vampiric son, Mannfred von Carstein had returned from travelling around the world. Mannfred was the most cunning, he'd betrayed Vlad so he would die and spent his journey learning magical knowledge. After assuming rulership of Sylvania he spent ten years gathering his power in secret before launching an invasion when the Empire was at its weakest. He did well until he got to Altdorf; Manny wasn't the only one who'd been learning and the Empire pope at the time used magic to unbind his army. After a cat-and-mouse game across the Empire, the humans (with elf and dorf help) cornered Mannfred at Hel Fenn. After the humans and dwarfs defeated his army (the elves were needed elsewhere), an Elector Count chased him down, split his head open with a runefang and his body fell into the swamp where they couldn't find it, ending the Vampire Counts bid for power (for now...).

Great War Against Chaos[edit]

MEANWHILE, IN THE CHAOS WASTES...

As the Empire was doing pretty much worse than it ever had or (probably) ever would, someone else was doing awesomely, and that someone was the lords of the north, who were feeling pretty fuckin' strong right now and thought that time was ripe to unleash the rapetrain to the south. They started by marching to Kislev, which sent distress messages to the Elector Counts, but that didn't go down too well: no one could trust anyone enough to choose someone in overall command, high priests of Sigmar and Ulric squabbled over who got to lead, and a lot of the nobility just flat-out refused to send help because they were afraid someone might blindside them when no one was looking. Several decided to fuck it all and converted to Chaos. Shit was looking real grim.

But there was this one nobleman and a priest of Sigmar named Magnus who didn't give in, and so he began to wander about and bitchslap the others into line, taking the charge of this whole shitfest when it didn't look like anyone else was going to. In a particularly controversial move, he even gathered up a bunch of magical misfits, witches and hedge wizards and other such that had been persecuted throughout Empire's history, and with a little help formed them into a more or less coherent magical army that almost never spontaneously exploded. Then, as word came that the city of Praag had fallen, he marched his ragtag army north to face Chaos.

When he got there Kislev was under siege, so he added his force to the defenders and bitch-slapped the Chaos forces away from there. He followed them and fought them everywhere (mostly woods, though) until they broke and ran right back to their wastes like pussies. Then he marched home and was immediately crowned Emperor because everybody loved him. He ruled for sixty-five years, the best years in the Empire since Sigmar himself, and was forever known as Magnus the Pious - even despite the clearly heretical move of founding the great Orders of Magic instead of putting the whole lot to torch (and a rumour that he once tried to put his hand up a vampire woman's dress).

Present Day[edit]

It's been a couple hundred years since Magnus's time, and the Empire is doing okay. Nothing of particular interest has happened in this time: there was a bit of shenanigans going on about some guy, but it got retconned away. The current Emperor is a dude named Karl Franz, and somewhat unusually to a guy that was elected rather than taking the throne by liberating the Empire of some great enemy, he's pretty badass.

Then shit happened.

As in the Age of Sigmar, the realm of Azyr may be considered its distant descendant.

The Cult of Sigmar[edit]

Sigmar soon became Jesus following his disappearance from the world. Sigmar's people began to believe he achieved Apotheosis and created a cult worshiping him(which by the powers of War Priests, is pretty much true), with Johann Helstrumm as his first worshipper/the first Pope of the Church-of-Bash-your-Evil-Face in with a Hammer. Ghal-Maraz, and soon all hammers became the central religious symbol of the cult, along with the twin-tailed comet which was said to have appeared at the sky on the night of Sigmar's birth.

Unsurprisingly, the cults of Ulric and Sigmar come into various religious disagreements. With the former seeing the latter as prissy little cunts who would rather spend their time meditating instead of charging into battle (tell that to the Sigmarite warrior priests) and growing their beards like real men. And the Sigmarites think they're bellicose and uneducated simpletons. Obviously, the Ulricans are the correct ones here.*FWIP* HERESY! But neither side lets this get in the way in defending the people of the Empire, and the only asses in the whole cult are Witch Hunters.

Political Structure[edit]

They have ten provinces with pseudo-German names that you can't pronounce unless you're gargling saltwater: Averland, Hochland, Middenland, Nordland, Ostland, Ostermark, Reikland, Stirland, Talabecland, Wissenland. All of which are ruled by Elector Counts who are the (supposed) descendants of the the tribal warlords Sigmar forged his Empire with. However, given how Elector lines often perish in battle, die out due to incompetence, intermarrying with other noble families and various other medievally things, the current Elector Counts on average have nothing to do with the olden clans of the Empire's ancestors.

The Electors also elect the current Emperor. A practice the writers of GW have liberally cribbed from the Holy Roman Empire, as they have for every aspect of the Empire. Also, the Grand-Theogonist (Pope), the two Arch-Lectors (the Theogonist' left and right hand men), Ar-Ulric (Viking Pope) also get a vote on who to elect. The final vote is cast by the Elder of the Moot, whose people were granted a vote because of their additions to Empire cuisine. Also some bribery. With said cuisine. The Emperor is elected from one of the ten Counts, so you can imagine that the election process is always a massive clusterfuck of political infighting. The current Emperor is Karl Franz, Elector Count of Reikland and has a good record for getting shit done.

It should be noted that while it's never explored in depth that there are regular Counts consider beneath the Elector Counts. It's most likely a case of a three level government body typical of a democracy with a federal level (the Emperor), a state level (the Elector Count) and a local level (the regular Count). Some provinces also have Barons, but weather these are some other class beneath regular Counts or simply Counts by another name is unknown.

Military[edit]

The empire is based on early modern Germany and their military is no exception for the most part, but a few of their units draw from other areas as well.

  • Infantry and cavalry

In the 17th century the crème de la crème of military tactics was the tercio, otherwise known as the Spanish square or as we know it today, pike and shot. Composed of pikemen, swordsmen and early handguns, the tercio would see the pikemen at the forefront, defending against infantry and especially cavalry while the gunners fired their relatively short ranged and slow-loading guns, while the swordsmen, called rodeleros, would help break the deadlock that occurred when two blocks of pike men clashed face to face. As the guns got better, the swordsmen were phased out. The gunners could also be moved from the front toward the flank to allow more tactically defensive maneuvers.

The whole tercio was further supported by heavily armoured cavalry, called cuirassier. Due to the superiority of pikes, the lance was dropped from the usage of heavy cavalry and instead long barreled pistols were taken up as the primary weapon and caracole (which means "snail," ironically) tactic was invented. The cavalry would fire their guns, then wheel around reloading as they went until they circled back and could fire again, they also often carried pistols to fire quickly or in an emergency. Generally, cavalry had a hard time facing against a tercio, as the hand guns got better and the wheeling caracole got less and less effective. often the commanders would have the cavalry charge formations until they were point blank range firing only then so the pistols often had mace heads on blades on the ends.

Incidentally this time period is when we get the term "bullet proof" as cavalry armour would be shot with a pistol before it was sold: if the armour stopped the bullet then it was "proofed" and was then sold as being able to offer proper protection. If the bullet went though the armour, well, good luck selling it.

If that sounds a bit like the Empire, it should. That was the Spanish square, in Switzerland halberds were used in place of the swordsmen (the Swiss Guard in fact STILL use halberds ceremonially), while in Germany soldiers also used halberds and legends say Doppelsöldner(a mercenary who volunteered to fight on the front line for more money) could do the same with two-handed greatswords called Zweihänders by using the weight of the sword to smash though the wall of pikes.

Considering the Empire's principle enemies are massively ripped, Chaos worshiping Viking warriors in awesome plate armour with physical strength and skill beyond that of any other race, greenskinned football hooligans with inhuman resilience and never-ending numbers, man rats with horrific technology and Goat-headed, Chaos-mutated killing machines the use of halberds with their greater ability to cut though meaty target over pikes makes a lot of sense.

Likewise the Empire's detachment system is surprisingly accurate being very representative of the discipline these formations held with units of men armed with distinctly different weapons acting in support of each other.

The Empires pistoleers are indicative of the cuirassier while the knights, without the competition of heavy pikemen because none of the Empire's enemies have the displace to hold a pike wall, take up the traditional knightly role of shock troops.

Outriders come from a different military unit, however, that of the dragoon. A dragoon was a infantry man who rode from Point A to Point B but once at Point B got off his horse and fought on foot. When they say, "Wait for the Cavalry" they mean "Wait for the Dragoons" because they were used as troubleshooters and fast reaction soldiers to plug gaps in the line. But the bigger part of their influence is the US Cavalry deployed by the North in the Civil War, Northern cavalry were armed with early breech-loading carbines, one Confederate solider said that they (the unit of cavalry armed with the weapon) could "load on Sunday and fire all week", a clear parallel to the Outriders' repeater handguns. For completeness sake, Southern cavalry were armed with revolvers.

  • BIG Guns

The cannons however are what ultimately killed the tercio. As field artillery got better and better the tercio, a tightly packed group of men, became easier and easier targets. The blocky tercio evolved into the flat lines of Napoleonic warfare so that one would need a flanking cannonball to get a whole rank of soldiers. The Empire's cannons are muzzle loaders and muzzle loaders (given that the ball speed is relatively low) are measured by the weight of their shot. Modern guns, because speed is more important, generally use muzzle size. The British were slow to swap over which is why the "17 pounder" and "88mm" fought against each other in world war two. Given the size of a "great cannon" it can be estimated that Empire field guns shoot between a 68-100 pound ball, which is huge, but they have to shoot monsters with them so there we are.

Empire cannons are pre-Gustavus Adolphus, a Swedish king who revolutionized warfare by making his army the most artillery happy in the world by using lighter cannon. He stopped using everything bigger than 12 pounds so his army could move faster as the really heavy guns would not slow them down, fire more often because the guns were lighter, and - more importantly - he used a lot more of them. How much more? Almost 6 times as many as his enemies. In one battle despite being heavily outnumbered he fired six times for every one of his enemy and won massively. That said, the Empire could be justified in using a heavier ball because Gustavius, badass that he was, did not have to fight Bloodthirsters. As for their mortars, not much to say, the Empire often neglects their historical use (siege breakers), but otherwise they're fairly accurate (artillery puns!).

On the subject of guns, the Helstorm Rocket Battery is based on the Congreve rocket. They were invented by William Congreve (much like the Empire, real weapons tended to get named after their inventors). They were based on rockets stolen when the British conquered Mysore. The rockets were used by the British Empire and are very culturally important to Americans because Congreve Rockets produced the "red glare" from which we could see that "the flag was still there". Just like the Imperial rockets, Congreve rockets used a big stick to stabilize themselves in flight. The rockets were used from 1806 until 1850 when they were replaced with Hale rockets that spun themselves in flight so they did not need the stick.

Helblasters on the other hand are clearly based on Leonardo da Vinci's (hallowed be his name) repeating cannon and compared to Leo's gun the Helblaster is a bloody peashooter. Leonardo's weapon had 12 or more guns, per deck, and three decks for a total of 36 guns, smaller though they were. It was designed so that the operator could reload one deck while firing another to get a faster rate of fire, while also giving the operator the option to fire one deck and then fire the other two as fast as he could.

  • And 'Heavily armored steam powered cavalry'

The Empire's Steam Tanks however are, perhaps unsurprisingly, the most unrealistic part of their army, even then they are somewhat plausible. The problem with steam as a method of propelling a vehicle is that it's relatively inefficient as a propellant despite what steam punk enthusiasts tell you. The issue is that to turn coal into power, first you need to burn the fuel in order to heat the metal holding the water over the fire (the pan as it were), then heat the water to 100+ degrees Celsius to boil it, then have the steam travel a set of pipes to the pistons, then you need to work the pistons, and then you need to turn the wheels or propeller, all the while you're losing energy due to thermodynamics at each step, plus as compared to petrol, coal and wood have less energy per pound. Trains and ships can get away with using coal and wood power because, like a quadratic wizard, they pass a point where they became so big they become able to lug enough water and fuel (either coal, wood or oil though the Empire most likely uses wood given how heavily forested the Empire is) to power themselves for long distances, and as you go farther along you become lighter since you're burning fuel as you go. Steam power may be relatively inefficient, it's also relatively simple since they're mostly plumbing to put together, to scale up to a level that gas engines can't do nearly as well. So getting something as small as a tank to carry enough fuel and water for any length of a fight, along with all the powder, weapons, ammo and armor is a very tall order. Warmachine, as a point to compare, tells us that a warjack can operate for only 30 minutes to an hour which is completely likely, the Empire's Steam Tank is double handicapped by the fact it does not use black powder, but shoots its cannon with compressed steam. That said the Steam Tank is not completely unreal. As mentioned the Empire is very heavily forested with plenty of rivers and small bodies of water. While they may only be able to run their tanks for less then an hour, refueling would be a simple procedure of chopping some trees down and pouring a few buckets of water in the internal tanks, of course the Empire also has magic so they could just point a bright wizard in front of the boiler and tell him to go nuts so in truth it's not the steam engine that is the biggest problem with the steam tank. The biggest issue with the Empire's Steam Tanks, aside from the steam powered gun, is the horrible design. Forget about the jokes about the Leman Russ Battle Tank being a poor design for looking like a World War One tank, the Steam Tank's four wheels would make the thing sink into any ground that was not paved, and the rickety wooden axles would likely snap at any speed over rough ground, and it's likely they use a steam cannon since a proper gun would shatter them if fired. Aside from the Steam Tank's sheer complexity, its shitty design is likely the only thing keeping the Empire from forming its own Panzer divisions.

  • Other odd ends

So, that's most of the Empire's army, who have we not covered yet that does not use magic? Flagellants? Oh, this will be fun. Jolly smashing, old bean old sandwich old pringle old teapot old sport old cracker old boy old fishcake old mushroom etc etc what what (Britishness intensifies)

Flagellants are, like the unit, people who beat themselves almost dead in penitence for their sins and the sins of the world. The Empire's unit originates from the Dark Ages during the height of the bubonic plague, just when it would seemed that God's Sigmar's judgment really was coming down upon the world. Flagellants were more than just nuts desperate for some sense in the world, they were people mad at the church. They were declared heretical (yay) because they said they had a way to cleanse themselves of sin (the beating themselves) which was something the Church said only they could do. A few miracles were also attributed to the Flagellants like those of a child being bought back from the dead and a talking cow.

The real-world Flagellants were not really able to fight all that well, since they were, you know, peasants (and poorly armed, beaten peasants at that), so their existence is a bit odd considering everything else we've covered. They're not really a military unit though, they're sort of military hangers-on whom the Empire 'tolerates' rather than burn like the real-world Inquisition did.

So in conclusion the Empire has surprisingly thick roots for all the units you can field on the table top excepting those that use magic since we don't have magic ourselves (apart from the only thing holding Tomb Kings models together). It's also clear that the fact the Empire manages to survive the onslaught of hundreds of threats despite their allies being douchebags, shows that their military is nothing to sneeze at. Thus showing that the common Warrior-Priest is not only likely miles tougher than the all-too-feared Inquisitor Lord, he is also perhaps leading a group of men almost as well organized and as disciplined, while having balls not seen on anyone who is not from the Imperial Guard. The Empire also shows that you don't have to be a superhuman to be tough as hell, they prove that at the end of the day, Humanity can overcome a threat by working together and standing firm even when by all rights you should run. Oh, and liberal application of black powder. Except not really, because imaginary games with dice and little plastic fellers doesn't prove squat. if a Fictional character can inspire true pathos, then a tabletop game can show you the meaning of courage when one of your units passes a leadership test in the face of the odds and that lets you win the game.

Technology[edit]

Of all the Human Civilizations that get their own army books in WFB the Empire is by far the most technologically advanced. They have muskets and cannons a plenty, the odd rifles, the a few steam powered tank and some down right steampunk things like mechanical horses. If they could only figure out the McCormick Reaper, Bessemer Converter, Spinning Jenny,Flying Shuttle, Gatling guns and rifle muskets they would be taking over the world in a few decades. Most of their technological marvels comes out of the city of Nuln.

The only civilizations which have them beat technologically are the Dwarves and Chaos Dwarves, the former being hindered only by old tradition and superstition, and the later hindered by directly eschewing those two ideals and being few in number. odd ones out are the Skaven who although commonly employ genetic manipulation, bionic implants, chemical weapons, and laser-guided missiles, they have such a high tendency to blow themselves up both as individuals and as a society that they're no real threat to the world, ya, if you're in front of them you're screwed but generally they can never get the Empire because they just kill each other first. These few may have the Empire beat, but the Humans advance steadily and avoids the trap of Medieval Stasis that so many other fantasy kingdoms fall into.

Well for the most part at least. A few of their books such as Iron Company's paints a very adversarial relation between them and their own technology, or to be more accurate, the common men and priests and their technology, and their own engineers mystifying the whole thing likely does not help. A simple smooth bore cannon is seen the same way we view cyberpunk Artificial Intelligence's, unnatural, useful perhaps, but something to be ill trusted and careful watched over. Considering the Empire is at a 16 or 17th century tech level (roughly), and it was not until the late 1800 that we figured out how to make a cannon that was fairly likely to not blow up after repeated firings, they may have a point. remember: the black powder mishap table is historically accurate.

Make no mistake, The Empire is moving forward, but if we compare their technology to our own development there are some major discrepancies. They seem more ignorant and less learned than a culture with the printing press should be. They have the technology, but the constant threat of outside attacks has made them much more suspicious of ANYTHING that goes outside their day to day understanding, and that this more than anything else kills their rate of progression.

Example: lightning hits house, we would ask "Does it strike some houses more often than others?" an Empire citizen would say "A witch have smitten thee" and half the time, they would be right. A lot of scientific methods and formulas have to be thrown out when supernatural powers such as magic (and the existence of gods is a known fact rather than a heavily debated matter) do indeed exist and can twist lots of fundamental forces, and scientific advancement as a whole can easily be torpedoed when one of the Chaos Gods decides to turn the laws of physics inside out on a whim.

When the rules behind the universe cannot be examined without going mad or worse, technological development slows to a crawl out of simple self preservation since you don't know what force behind the universe your may find with your study. Just like the Adeptus Mechanicus, but with less machine worship and no STCs to fall back on.

Provinces and city states[edit]

Provinces[edit]

  • Middenland- Home to the Cult of Ulric the provincial colors are blue with a red flag. Middenland and its Capital Middenheim are basically the most Viking and war loving you will get without worshiping Chaos making them like the Danes Prussians of the setting, considering their more militaristic society and arch rivalry with Reikland, who could be considered the equivalent of Austria. Wears Blue uniforms, with white bits.
  • Averland-Fat, weak, and rich as hell off cattle and trade. Had a batshit insane (but super-badass) elector-count named Marius Leitdorf. Chief threat is from Orcs. Pretty scenery and based a lot on Bavaria. Black and yellow uniforms.
  • Hochland-Nothing but Beastmen, illiterate peasants, and few bands of incredibly badass rangers wielding magic bows and the famous Hochland Long Rifle, the most effective firearm ever created by humans. Unfortunately, it's expensive and they only know how to make them in Hochland, which has precisely jack shit industry. Probably based on the Black Forest region of southern Germany. Red and green uniforms.
  • Nordland- Northermost province of the Empire and the most likely to get assraped thanks to living across the sea from those nice, spikey, Viking lads. Makes Cadia look like a bitch. Ulric is worshiped widely here. Their colors are blue and yellow, so they're probably Swedes Pommeranians of the setting. Swedes were vikings and were never part of the Holy Roman Empire. Wears blue and tan uniforms. Pommerania was Swedish between 1630 - 1815
  • Ostermark- On the border with Kislev, and so is a close second to Nordland for getting fucked by Chaos, but more than makes up for this by also getting fucked by the Vampire Counts across the river, Orcs and Goblins invading from every direction, and from there being more beastmen in the forests than there are fucking trees. Despite having a shitload of potential (fertile lands, tremendous natural resources), its development has been stalled by weak and idiosyncratic leadership, Chaos obviously, Orc invasions (including Grimgor), periodic conflict with Kislev, vampire invasions from Sylvania. No cities or even really large towns (on account of the invasions), making its populace mostly backward and rural. Bash brothers with Kislev when they aren't trying to conquer each other. Also home to the dreaded city of Mordheim. Ultimately, kind of a sad old wreck. Basically Brandenburg without the clout. Geographically would also include parts of Silesia, but Silesia was too prosperous and urban really be analogous. Wears super cool Purple and yellow uniforms.
  • Ostland - Northern province, neighbouring Kislev and Middenland. Their uniforms are black and white. Fiercely proud and has sway despite their impoverished nature; a lot like Ostermark, just less pathetic. Likely based on Saxony, with some Silesia thrown in, with the same caveats as for Ostermark.
  • Reikland-The heartland of the empire where the current Emperor lives. Their uniforms are generally white with some red on them. Chief threats are Beastmen, Orcs, the occasional Bretonnian, and, theoretically at least, Drachenfels. Obviously a prime target for Chaos and vampires, but usually they don't get close enough to disturb anyone's morning beer or witch-burning. Clearly and obviously based on Holy Roman Austria and/or Rhineland.
  • Stirland- The poorest state of the union, it's considered a rural backwater, but is still more stable and less prone to invasions than Nordland, Ostland, and Ostermark. Their chief concern in the latter respect is obviously the fact that they're right next door to Sylvania: home of the fucking Vampire Counts. So the undead is a common thing in their backyards. Also have to deal with the occasional WAAAAAGH for flavor. It's colors are yellow and green. Likely based on eastern HRE lands like Slovakia and Hungary. Like Stirland, they were large HR states but not the richest.
  • Talabecland- Yellow and red uniforms. Highly elite armies with lots of greatswords and shit like that. However, due to being a forest, not many cannons or shit like that. Chief threats are Beastmen, Orcs, and undead. Represents a pretty broad band of central HRE territories east of the Rhine and north of the Danube, i.e. Hesse, Thuringia, Hanover, Bohemia, Moravia, etc. Wears yellow and red uniforms, leading to a slight distaste of their armies, as everyone instantly just thinks of Mcdonalds.
  • Wissenland- Technically Nuln is Wissenland turf being the provinces largest city, so they're ruled by Countess Emanuelle who may or may not be a Slaaneshi whore. Though apparently she hates everthing outside Nuln even though its NOT the capital of the province. The province of Wissenland lack the military funding of other provinces and city-states (cause Emanuelle gives no fucks(no wait she gives all the fucks just not to Wissenland)) and its standing army makes heavy use of ambush and hit-and-run tactics. They field mounted archers and woodsmen above artillery and massed infantry. Slightly paradoxically, the province of Wissenland is also famous for their pikemen probably cause Bretonnia's just over dem mountains. They wear Grey and White uniforms. Seems to be an odd mix of influences,such as Switzerland (mountainous and temperamentally obstinate from the rest of the Empire) Bavaria (culturally rich) and Nuln resembles the powerful Free Imperial City of Nuremburg.
  • The Moot (technically not a elector state even though they get a vote on the next Emperor) - Home of the Halflings and essentially a nasty, drunken, weirdly sexual and shitty-practical-joke-prone version of the Shire. Chief threats are overeating, rudeness, and public masturbation.

City States[edit]

  • Altdorf: A wretched hive of ritual and bureaucracy. The further you get from Karl Franz, the shittier it gets. This includes the inside of his house. Imagine Ankh-Morpork, but instead of being funny, it's just terrifying and German. Politics based on Vienna, but geographically it's Frankfurt. Gets turned into Stalingrad during the End-Times. Red and Blue uniforms, but with incredible extravagance.
  • Middenheim: Home of the Viking Pope, a fuckton of wolf shit and tunnels packed to the gills with horrors. Nearly destroyed by Archaon. Geographically, Berlin or Dresden. Quartered Blue and white uniforms.
  • Nuln gets shit done. With more factories, guns, universities, Dwarfs, engineers, and Dwarf engineers than anywhere else in the human Old World, it's practically a 20th century city. Just avoid the bat-fuck crazy countess. Also home of the greatest Emperor since Sigmar, Magnus the Pious (though Karl Franz is probably actually greater post-Storm of Chaos). Vienna by geography, economically a mashup of Nuremburg (trade) and Breslau (industry). Almost entirely black uniforms, with some teeny tiny bits just being of whatever colour the wearer feels like.
  • Talabheim: Dirt/tree worshippers. Also the most defensible location on the planet. Didn't stop Epidemius and the Maggoth Riders from taking it. It sits in a massive and heavily fortified crater into which there is precisely one entrance. Geographically Prague-ish (no, not that one), for lack of a better option. These are the dudes in Red and White that you see on the boxes of Empire models.

Former Provinces[edit]

  • Solland - Solland was destroyed as an independent Imperial province BY DA GREAT WAAARGH Gorbad Ironclaw, ONE OUV DA GREETEST AND GREENEST WARBOSS . Its territory was ultimately absorbed by Wissenland.
  • Westerland - The province that was the seat of the great commercial city of Marienburg that seceded from the Empire. The province is now known as the Wasteland, though the Marienburgers prefer the free League of the West. Obviously based on the Low Countries. Was briefly known as 'Vesterland' when Norse Chaos Marauders conquered and ruled it for a brief time. Between Norscan, Brettonnian, and Imperial raids and the huge amount of marshland, very little of its territory is suitable for agriculture. Its people make their living by trade, mining, and fishing.
  • Sylvania - Sylvania was formerly the County of Sylvania, an independent Imperial province, but is now officially a part of the *Grand County of Stirland. It can be sure that no other province of the Empire would want the place. Unofficially, Mannfred ceded Sylvania from the empire and it's now Nagash's playgroup.
  • Drakwald - A founding province of the Empire located near the center of the Drakwald Forest, now divided up between Middenland and Nordland. Was known for its two incompetent Emperor: one being Ludwig the Fat who given the elder of Moot an electoral position after a halfing chief gave him the finest meal to his fat arses. The other being Boris Goldgather, who was known for being greedy and got his arses handed to a sneaky eshin rat during the Skaven's plague invasion. The province was finally disbanded by Mandrad Skavenslayer after these two atrocities. Sigmar bless you.

Conclusion[edit]

Awesome Holy Empire guys who manage to stay ridiculously GRIMDARK while also being generally human, intelligent and likable. Unlike certain other Holy Roman Empire guys with necrophiliac fetishes.

See Also[edit]

Gallery[edit]

Regions and Areas of the Warhammer World
Areas of The Old World: The Empire of Man - Bretonnia - Albion - Estalia - Tilea - Kislev - Norsca - Border Princes - Worlds Edge Mountains
Areas of The New World: Naggaroth - Lustria
Areas of The Eastern Lands: Cathay - Nippon - Ogre Kingdoms - Dark Lands - Kingdoms of Ind - Khuresh - Eastern Steppes
Areas of The Southlands: Nehekhara - Araby - Badlands - Mashes of Madness
Other Areas of the world: Ulthuan - Chaos Wastes - Skavenblight - Lost Isles of Elithis
Main bodies of Water: The Great Ocean - The Far Sea - The Sea of Dread - Inner Sea of Ulthuan