The Lowest Straight

From 1d4chan

Alright, settle down. Get me another drink, and I'll tell ya about the time an Ace got beat by a Two.

Oooh, that's the good stuff. Alright, you've got your story.

A bit of foreshadowing for free, as well. Everyone knows that an Ace can do the most powerful things, like annihilate buildings or kill a man without pulling the trigger. Everyone also knows that a Two is very limited in its power, like waiting between shots or only shooting at noon.

The last thing everyone knows is the 'Blackjack' effect, where a 'slinger can only use Cards if they add up to below or at twenty-one. Terrifying things have happened when a 'slinger has more than one Card, especially if they're powerful ones like a King and an Ace. The two of those would be pushing your luck to hell and back, though.

Now, I've only seen one person wield an Ace, and I've only seen one person have more than one Card. That Ace I saw got beat by a Two, because of careful planning and a bit of luck. It all started in the Salty Spittoon...


The Salty Spittoon had seen better days. The bar was creaky, the stools wobbled, and the piano was out of tune six ways to Sunday. Still, it was the best watering hole anywhere within three miles of Garden Grove.

David, the sheriff, had just gotten to relax over the gentleman wielding an Ace. The gent had been nursing a bottle of fine scotch, and had paid the bartender well, which made David suspicious.

A commotion outside caused the sheriff's ears to prick up, before a man strode into the bar, a brand on his face and murder in his eyes. "I'm looking for the child-killing bastard with the Ace of Hearts!"

The gent at the bar stood up, grabbing the Ace with an exhale before speaking. Weirdly enough, it was in haiku. "We had to do it. Angel would have been trapped there."

"You had no right! She was my daughter!"

"Yet, she hated you."

A long silence filled the bar, the gent who'd stormed in twitching in rage. "You. Me. Outside. We duel until one of us drops."

Barely a minute later, David stood, coin in hand as the duo stared each other down. "Alright, I want a good, clean duel. Draw when the coin hits the dirt, and no sooner."

The ping of the coin echoed briefly, then the second it landed in the dirt, both gents had drawn Cards. The Ace of Hearts fired...

And a pair of bullets sparked in midair, the smoking barrel of the Six of Diamonds in the branded man's hand.

The gent with the Ace scowled, shooting the Six out of the scarred gent's hand, then stared in confusion as his next shot met with the same result; a pair of collided bullets and a smoking Five of Diamonds.

Twice more, the scene happened, before, finally, the Three of Diamonds dropped into the dirt beside the others. All four holsters on the inside of the scarred man's jacket were empty, and the Ace lined itself up once more. "You have nothing left. This duel was honourable, but now you will die."

As the Ace clicked empty, the scarred man reached behind himself and drew the Two of Diamonds from his back, grinning as he spoke in the same haiku pattern. "Aw, did you not count your shots? That's unfortunate. Seems you're gonna die."

A final BANG echoed through the town, before the scarred gent slowly re-holstered the quintet of Diamonds. "Straight flush, asshole. Hope you rot in hell."


Never saw the Ace again after it hit the dirt. That Dealer fella grabbed it and vanished. As for the gent with the five Cards? He simply asked for a few drinks and which way was west. Left with a gleam of madness in those eyes of his. I'll never forget that vitriol.

And where was I? Well, I was the sheriff.

That's right. I oversaw a duel between two people who played that damn Game they go on about. Hell, even got offered a Card by the man in black. Turned it down, though. Ain't got the stomach, nor the balls, nor the need to go a-hunting. I like what I've got here, and nothing, ain't nothing gonna make me drop this town.

Every night, though, I sleep a little less, wondering and worrying about whether or not anyone got in the way of the man with The Lowest Straight.

- Rakdos


Back to Wild Cards: Stories of the World

Wild Cards
Spades: 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - J - Q - K - A
Hearts: 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - J - Q - K - A
Clubs: 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - J - Q - K - A
Diamonds: 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - J - Q - K - A
Jokers: Red Joker - Black Joker
Introduction - The World - Gameplay - Stories of the world
On the Attainment, Ownership and Passing of The Cards
Variant Rule: Hands