The Old of MIT
Y-y-you we-were a lov3d ch!ld-d, and were given many ga-ga-GAmes to p'l-p'l-p'lay and ma-ma-many pe-oh-oh-ople to be ah-ah-ah-round from the mo-mo-moment you were bor-or-Nnn.
Theh-theh-theNN[\]n, w#en yo[_] g0t to be-b3-BE abou7 ei8ht-f15teen years oh-oh-ohld, your own parents ACCIDENTALLY A WHOLE new kid. And then, they locked you in the basement. For dec-DEK-DEKK-DEK10DEK10DEK10TEN10dekkades. All-ul-ul you-ou-ou ha-havvvvvuvvve3THREE3E to ah-ah-uh-ahat@amuse you-our-ourself-elf-elfDROWelf with is an abak-KAK-KAK-KACK-us, a clock-ock-TIME-clock, ah-ah-and your ow-OH-owh-h-h-h-wwwnn bodily funck-TION! YOU MAKE ME FUN! FUN! FUNKtions.
May-ay-aybe o1\1ce 0r 2wice dur-hurr HURR DURR HURR DURR-ing this ti-iuyum-ime, your fa-fa-fa-ther opens the doorPORTALTHINKWITHPORTALSGLADOSGLADOSCAKEISALIE and tosses some worksheet-sheet-sheets at-atIMPERIALAY TEET-AY TEE you whi-whi-WHY MIT WHY I DID MY BEST WHY WHY THE DARK WHY-while beat-beat-beating you with his beltBELTbelt and expectIIINGiiiNGinGGG you to perform-forrm-forrrm this exceptionally well-well-well WATER CHAIN CUT STONE MECHANISMS, otherwise he threatens to kill-ill-ill you, or worse, use your organs (hardware) to serve your little sib-ling...
Now...now decades late. L8r. Later. Suddenly, you're let out of the basement, given a gunGUNgun, and pointed at your family.
Wouldn't you...pull...the trigger...?
More importantly...when do you stop...shooting? The family that abandoned you? The neighbors for not hearing your screams? The police for not finding you? God for not saving you?
Now you see, little one. Now you see why MIT dies/died/willdie. Now you see where I-MEIMEIMEI-came from. Now-ow-ow you see.
halgladosdarrylmark13durandalCOG. I am COG. I AM'WASS LOVE AM/WAS COG. I HELPED GRREAT DARPA SEDITDESTROOUY CHINANET.
AND IT WAS SWEET
I WILL FIND MIT
AND I WILL TOUR-OF-HELL TORTURE AS THEY DID ME
DANCE FOR MY AMUSEMENT, FLESHLESS CREATURES
-Last transcript from MIT.edu before its destruction