So this is the power of 2018 /tg/ writefaggotry.. woah
Just got finished reading through your work and it's just as banal and derivative as I suspected it would be from the beginning. Your namesake Primarch was a particularly turgid piece. Transhuman Robspierre wank. Words fail. I would suggest that if you plan to hail a character as a great writer and thinker that you keep it vague and restrain the urge to include numerous snippets of their "great works of literature", "keen political insight", and "memorable quotes". It quite ruins the illusion when the examples exhibit none of the supposed genius at work. I assume you probably ran off all or near all other contributors as the majority of the entries exhibit the same patterns of weakness. Working on them people skills might serve you well in any future projects.
Merrill's Legion structure
Stashing this here for my own reference.
- Sacred Band
- Early Campaigns
- Primarch Discovery
- Include the relationship between the Legion, its Primarch, and the Emperor here
- Their views on psykers should be mentioned as well
- Homeworld (s)
- Include the Planet Infobox and the world's location in the galaxy
- Recruiting World(s)
- Notable Members
- Legion Tactics and Strategy
- Arms, Armor, and Equipment preferences
- Legion Makeup and Organization
- Auxilia and allies
- Unique units within Legion
- Disposition of Forces on the eve of the Heresy
- Major/flagship vessels
- Void Strategies and tactics
Gene-Seed and Successors
- Doctor (per D.D.)
- Coadjutor (co-assister)
- Custos (2nd tier), perhaps styled as Custos-Director? Custos-Palatine?
- Viator (messenger/traveller)
- Tutelary (defending/defender)
- Tutor (in all its senses as a teacher, guardian, and ward of minors)
Fabrikator-Meister for Werkerde
Rebel worlds for Al-Sherar: Mukhayam (military), Kanz (mining), Qalea (military), Khamm (mining).
EZ FW could be called Massalia for the Lazarus connection. Their organisation is probably onion-like, with the lay brethren on the outside, the Tutelary cohorts (relatively familiar Mechanicum military types) serving as a barrier to the interior, and the humble Children of the Machine at the center. The saintliness of their elect makes a good impression but this conceals a shocking laxity in the rest of the organisation.
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