User talk:MercWithMouth/The Age Of Dusk

Holy fuck, this is awsome. Please keep working on it!

I like this and Nightmares to Come, but I can't help but notice some syntax and grammar errors (which were also present in Nightmares), and places where two sentences would probably flow better joined together, for example, "Enemies divided, Vulkan led, at last, a counter offensive. He battled in person where he could." might work better as, "Enemies divided, Vulkan at last led a counter offensive, battling in person where he could." There are other instances, like, "forced to utilise the captured barges and warships of the Kazan and Rand, progress was slow." that should probably instead say, "progressed slowly."

I know this is a wiki, so anyone should be able to edit articles, but I'm not sure if this applies to writefaggotry, and the MercWithMouth indicates on his userpage that people shouldn't mess with his edits, so I'm holding off for now. --Zephyr102 (talk) 00:04, 26 February 2015 (UTC)