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This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.
The cover of the rulebook.

This article is a work in progress so just cool your engines. The game is written in a dead language called "Russian" that only 12 people on earth actually speak. Our translators are working tirelessly to decode this text. If you want to speed up the translation process, check out this thorough review of the game -> https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9Ixq8V1MpFRQWVjQmFEeEticnc/view

VTNL is a Russian RPG that may be the usurper of FATAL's claim to Worst Fucking Roleplaying Game Ever Made. It was made by some lunatic who goes by the name Elenorn Maethor on the interwebz. He claims he spent 14 years working on this piece of shit. Probably constipation, he should get that checked. VTNL is as acronym for Via The New Legends, whatever the fuck that even means. To give you a short glimpse on what this game is about, here's the translation from that book.

“An important feature of the game is its rather strict set of rules. To avoid breaking the game balance, several limitations to what the players can do in this game are in place, and actions outside these limitations will probably fail. For example, in this game, when the players visit a store, they cannot steal items from it, or attack the vendor, because the rules of VTNL do not describe such actions. Same goes with dice rolls. This game follows very strict rules for rolling dice, and if they are not followed exactly, the roll doesn't count.

And this is just the beginning!


Kreat – is a spherical planet rotated around the star called Norsa Loce which means Giant Dragon. At first there was only one continent on Kreat, surrounded by Great Ocean. And inside the continent there were a lot of small seas, lakes and rivers. By when time has come, the world was destroyed in a horrifying calamity. The devastating explosion inside the planet cracked mountains, burnt forests, boiled down seas and splinted the ground, creating the biggest volcano on the planet – World's Crater. His peak is touching the clouds and erupting endless waves lava and ashes. Priests use to say that it was a war of Great Creatures, capable to control Nature's elements and called themselves Creators of Kreat. The calamity has been lasting for centuries, and as the result most part of landmasses got under the water. This how continents and islands of modern Kreat were formed and new age – Age of Balance – began. Games starts after five and half centuries from the beginning of the Age of Balance.”

Congratulations, you've just read the entire section from the book. The rest of setting bits is implies mind-numbingly generic fantasy with races ripped directly from Lord of The Rings. Author calls this “inspired by J. R. R. Tolkien's work” and even dedicated this garbage to The Professor.


The author claims he hasn't played in any tabletop RPGs because they would interfere with his artistic vision. He drew his moronicity – er, I mean – his inspiration from Diablo 1 and Heroes of Might and Magic 3.

Ding dong your roll is wrong.
The mighty Dicefield. Playing without the Dicefield is a heresy.

The book contains 2 pages on rolling dice. Hold up. Let me be clear about this. I don't mean two pages about what to roll and how to interpret the dice. No, I mean two pages on how to physically pick the dice up and throw them. Two pages of mandatory rules, despite the author's later claims. Here the list in its full translated glory.

  • Classic 16mm six-sided dice should be used during the game.
  • Each participant may use his own dice, but all his dice must be the same (colour variation is allowed)
  • The usage of "loaded"dice (with wrong sides, shifted centre of mass, changed symbols and so on) is strictly prohibited!
  • You are absolutely not allowed to give your diceroll to somebody else or ask them to roll for you.
  • Dice must be thrown only on the Dicefield and only from the side without a border. Throws over the board of the Dicefield are forbidden. If there are too many participants, several Dicefields can be used.
  • During the roll a surface of the Dicefield must be empty. If there was any foreign object (pencil or another die, for example) on the Dicefield during the roll, then the result is invalid. Foreign objects should be removed from the Dicefield before the new roll.
  • Roll of 2d6 and 3d6 should be be performed with all dice thrown simultaneously. Any consecutive roll with two or more dice are invalid and should be re-rolled.
  • Roll with incorrect amount of dice is invalid and should be re-rolled.
  • After a dice roll all dice must remain on the Dicefield. If at least one die bounced away from the Dicefield, then the result is invalid and should be re-rolled.
  • During a dice roll at least one die must touch any board of the Dicefield.
  • During a dice roll at least one die must cross both lines on the Dicefield (by flying or by rolling over them).
  • It's strictly forbidden to use "sliding roll", when dice doesn't roll and doesn’t bounce from boards of the Dicefield.
  • If after a roll any die bounced from a foreign object back on the Dicefield, then the result is invalid and should be re-rolled.
  • If after a roll any dice didn't fall on any of it's sides or is on a border of the Dicefield or on top of another die then the result is invalid and should be re-rolled.
  • Before rolling dice, a participant must declare exact action which would be determined by the roll. For example, "I'm counting the amount of items", "I'm striking with my sword", "I'm running away" and so one. Silent roll can be neglected by GM or disputed by other participants.
  • During the game participant can't perform "blank roll" (aimless dice roll). Every roll has a purpose and is a part of the game plot! After first blank roll, GM should warn participant about the restriction. In the future GM may penalized participants for blank rolls by putting a Cursed condition on the participant's character. Every participant who made a blank roll should be stigmatized!
  • Before rolling dice, a participant should shake them in his hand. Rolls without shaking are considered as suspicious. It's NOT recommended to use cups or other devices for shaking.
  • After a dice roll all dice should be removed from the Dicefield keeping rolled sides up until the next roll.
  • In some cases dice roll can be performed by several participants. For example, when two players attempt an escape from a battle, they may roll three dice simultaneously (one player would roll two dice and another player would roll a die).
  • If participants are uncertain about the correctness of a dice roll, then GM decides the validity of the result.
  • Only rolls which satisfy all the rules above are valid for the purpose of the game. Once the roll is considered as valid it can't be re-rolled or altered!

Then the rules define terminology for types of invalid rolls. Why? Who knows…

  • Single Die Drop or Drop – When one die falls out of the Dicefield or misses it entirely.
  • Double Drop – the fall of two dice.
  • Full Drop or All Drop – the fall of all three dice.
  • Shake Drop – the fall of one or more dice out of a hand during a shake and before the roll.
  • Lost Drop – the fall and subsequent loss of one or more dice during the roll.
  • Noob Die Losing – the fall and subsequent loss of one or more dice during the Shake Drop.

“In some cases participants may perform drops far too frequently or even on purpose. In order to maintain concentration on the game and to avoid unnecessary drops, it's recommended to use a rule: For each three consecutive drops of any kind the participant may be hit in a face…”

…With the Dicefield, I guess. Now you might ask what is the Dicefield? This is a special block of wood with borders which is required to play VTNL. What else is required? According the official site, you'll need the book itself, dice, a laptop, a desk bell (called “Bekar Button”), writing-books with grid paper, a calculator, pencils and the battle board. Now let me explain why you would really need all these things to play.

At first glance, VTNL is 200 pages of well illustrated heavy book with a nice hard cover. Player travels on a square grid, visiting towns, fighting monsters, seeking loot so one. Sounds like a hex crawler, right? Yeah, but…

In general, VTNL system has three main game modes – Map mode, City mode and Combat mode.

In Map mode players travels from one square to another with limited amount of movement points. They roll to see what they encountered on their way and awaits them in the square. Upon entering the square they gain experience points, if they had never visited this square before, and proceed according to the type of the square. However, when they leave a square, it would evaporate in a puff of smoke, unless a player left their something valuable like “pets, a bicycle or a character's dead body”. This means that once player discovered an abandoned hut in a square he most likely won't find it again on his way back. Also players can move independently from one another to increase overall mindfuck on the map.

If a player finds a town, the game enters the City Mode. Player rolls to see whom he will find in the town – quest givers, shopkeepers, innkeepers and trainers. Just like in Map mode, player would have a limited amount of movement points to visit some of them and gain new items, skill or quests. Naturally, the rest of the town is in the same place where the visited locations are – in the author's ignorance. A typical dialogue with a shopkeeper will look like this:

GM: Greeting, Traveller! I'm the Shopkeeper! I sell weapons. Currently, I have 1d6+3 swords in stock. Would you like to see them?

Player: Yes, show me your swords. (rolls to determine exact amount of swords)

GM: Alrighty then, I have 6 swords. Do you have enough money to buy any of them?

Player: Yes, show me the first sword. (rolls to determine a sword)

GM: (reads from laptop's screen) This simple common longsword…

Player: Next! (hits desk bell to skip the item and rolls to determine the next sword)

GM: (reads from laptop's screen) This is common short sword...

Player: Not interested! Next sword, please! (hits desk bell to skip the item and rolls to determine the next sword)

GM: (reads from laptop's screen) Oh, this one is rare longsword with…

Player: Yep, I would like to inspect this sword. (player rolls to determine more about the sword)

Player keeps all his items in the Inventory, which looks like a paper doll from Heroes of Might and Magic with an additional set of numbered pockets. But most of the time character may hold only weapons in his hands. If he is on a horse, then he can't hold anything in his hands at all. And at the start of the combat he drops anything in his hands in order to draw his weapon. And speaking of combat...

If a visited square is not a town or players encountered somebody on the way, then most likely the game would enter Combat mode. This mode uses separate blank board with – you guessed it – squares! Again, players have several points to Move, Shoot, Slash or Flee. During the combat player performs listed actions with various rolls from 2d6 to ((1d6/2)+16)*10+(2d6-2) with additional bonus or penalty points. These points are computed by dividing character's attribute dividend by 20 and rounded up. That's it. And I said “blank board” intentionally since there are no rules for terrain effects.

So, aside from these three main activities players can't do anything else. There is even no generic action/task resolution mechanics. However, player goes through all this with constant bookkeeping of EVERYTHING! I mean literally EVERY THING! The book has 24 pages with detailed explanation about how to record every step and every bloody aspect in a writing-book.


First of all, VTNL considers any role-play as optional.

“Roleplaying in the game is not a core component. Player can freely choose to formulate character's persona and the only thing that has minor impact on this is the player's chosen race. The roleplay and the immersion in the game world depend on player's style only. Innovative mechanics in VTNL generate adventures on their own and almost completely exclude any form of "GM's fiat". Nobody among participants knows what will happen next, which makes the game more exciting and compelling.”

Second, VTNL is a game where both GM and player can't do anything unless otherwise stated in the rules. Want to steal something in a shop? You can't! Want to visit a living district and speak with locals? Nope, you can visit only specific areas. Want to give players an interesting item as a reward? No you can't, even if you are the GM! Various examples in the book with not tongue-in-cheek but middle-finger-in-a-butt humour only confirm the fact that the author somehow managed to dumb the tabletop roleplaying experience down to the level of a primitive roguelike. NPC serve only their gameplay functions, monsters are meant to be killed and items with locations are dictated by various tables, called Registers.

This explains such rich character creation process. Player chooses starting class (Warrior, Berserk, Athlete, Archer, Knight or Defender) and may choose a race. Each class grants bonuses to three out of eight attributes:

  • Attack – proficiency in melee weapons.
  • Strength – physical power.
  • Archery – proficiency in ranged weapons.
  • Dexterity – mobility which affects movement, combat initiative and wielding of some weapons.
  • Defense – ability to dodge physical attacks.
  • Vitality – amount of hit points.
  • Wizardry – proficiency in spells.
  • Spirituality – amount of magical power (mana, anyone?).

Since the book states that magic isn't quite there yet, this means only six attributes makes sense. Player may take up to two classes during the game, but he can't change them. Each level will increase character's attributes according to chosen class(-es). That's all the character's progression has to offer. Additionally, up to eight Riding, Fighting, Special and Utility skills can be learned in cities, but only once per city. Skill can be leveled up with PTD points (the rules don't bother to explain what PTD stands for) or by using one-time guidebooks. I think character simply eats them instead of reading.

But VTNL is an innovative game, remember? So, each character has birthday date and in this day he would gain (3d6+2)*10 experience points along with 1 PTD. Also a character may have Followers, which also have birthday dates, attributes, skill, experience points, inventory and additional bookkeeping. See, innovations!

The future is here![edit]

Sarcasm aside, this game truly innovates in one thing. This is the first commercial tabletop role-playing game which adopts the most cutting-edge principles from major digital game publishers. You may notice that VTNL randomizes a lot of things (in fact, everything) for the players and GM because this “makes the game more exciting and compelling”. But you won't find any random tables inside the book or any app to install on your laptop. This book is just a $30 instruction manual for a paid access to currently unavailable section on the official site with all the Registers you need to use, including a list of character's skills. You also must buy the Dicefield for $15, and don't forget to get a box of writing-books as well as a desk bell from nearest hotel. Do you feel the amount of innovations below your back already?

Tl;dr: It's literally a crappy video game disguised as a RPG. It even has DLC that cost real money.