Whips, Oil & Orks

From 1d4chan

The plan was flawless, everything was set up, the Xeno hybrid would come to the Human-made Webway Gate (The Cannoness still couldn't believe those existed) the Callidus would pose as her wretched mother and thus, destroy any good memory of her the child still had in her mind, and then she would arrive, "save" the child from the "witch" and bring her once again to her chapel and satisfy her predatory urges... all for the Emperor, of course.

"M-mommy?" Ah, there it was, the Callidus was now telling the young Verminspeaker about how "the Eldar used the souls of humans to satisfy their Dark God, Slaanesh". It wasn't entirely true, but the Emperor blessed the minds too small to doubt. "Your idiot father is already dead; killed before the sisters ever arrived to save you." The Cannoness couldn't hold any longer, ignoring a small red light coming from the human Webway gate. "One more day, and you would be mine."

"DIS. IZ. A LIE!" A strong voice interrupted the tense moment. Everyone looked at the source. It was a Ork in a business suit who had just come out of the Webway.

Lofn could not believe it, her mother was showing herself as the monster the sisters called her, and now a greenskin in a funny costume was contradicting the witch. And he was looking right at her.

"Yer daddy iz fine, he legged it when da burnagirlz and da beakie magpies were muckin' about who was da Boss." "But-but...mommy?" Lofn couldn't know who was telling the truth, so the greenskin punched the "Farseer" in the face knocking her out. Clearly the Callidus did not react in time. "If dere'z somefing da poncy Eldar hate more dan 'umies, itz da Chaoz boyz. Even da spikey panzees would nevah accept them as boss." Two Gretchin came out of the Panzee-Humie Gate carrying a large vat filled with a green substance, then bathed the fallen "Xeno" with it. "Even da squig knew dis git was nah Eldar."

Whatever the liquid was made of, it did wonders to reveal the lies of the Polymorphine. Lofn no longer saw the fallen woman as her mother, but as a woman in tight black suit similar to the one her father sometimes used when things went wrong. The greenskin then raised his choppa and decapitated the assassin in one swift blow.

"Dis 'umie iz not yer mommy." The Ork said with bile in his voice. "Yer mommy iz-" "DIE XENOS SCUM!" The Cannoness jumped with flamer in hand, her face filled with hatred; not the righteous hatred one should have to the enemies of the Imperium, but the hatred of seeing all your plans being thrown out the airlock. It was all perfect, there was no way it could have go wrong. Yet an Ork, of all Xenos, came out of a Webway Gate that wasn't supposed to be connected to any place that wasn't Holy Terra, and ruined her conversion of the Xenos-Human child! She jumped with the conviction would send the pair screaming to the Warp. "NOW, YA GITS!" Shouted the Ork, and two Nobs clad in Arbites armor jumped at the Cannoness, resisted her flames and whacked her with their crude batons. While the predatory Sororitas boss was subdued, the greenskin grabbed a cellphone out of his pockets and made a call. "Oi! Rona' ya grot!...Ye, da girl iz wit' me...w'ere?...Roight." He hanged up the phone. "Oi! Lofn, roight?" The alluded nodded. "Yer boyz iz waitin' for ya." "Y-you are not lying?" She was still doubting. "Release da bug!" The Ork screamed at the pair of grots who were looting the bitz off of the dead humie. They gulped and went to the Webway Gate, then one of them came back with a ripper biting his nose. "Ripper-chan?!" She saw her long lost mascot, and the lil' nid, once it heard her voice, jumped from biting the Gretchin's nose to lick the hybrid child. "Oi, you lot" He went to the Nobs. "Yer goin' ta send da girl to where we'z came from." "Wot?" They were confused by this unorky order. "Den' ya call all da boyz 'coz we'z gonna krump all da burna'umies ova 'ere!" "Aye aye, boss!" The Arbites Nobz became more motivated and called Lofn to follow them. She was smiling, for the first time in that hellish week that wasn't a effect of the lies of the predatory Sisters of Battle. Before passing the Webgate, she turned around and looked at her savior. "Goodbye, mister Ork." "Bye, lil' wun." He said as the Nobz and Lofn finally crossed the Webgate. Then he turned around to see the beaten Cannoness.

The boyz krumped her real good, but she wasn't dead yet. At this point, the boyz already knew when the boss wanted keep the gits he faced alive without asking. "W-what y-you want, X-xeno?" She muttered at the Ork who destroyed her moment of glory. "All ya 'umies sayz ye want to be 'pur'" The greenskin said with pure hatred in his voice. "Yet yer lot iz nah betta dan da pinky Chaos crazies." He spat at the Sororitas boss. "It'z me duty to brin' da WAAGH! at all da gitz who fink dey can predate all da lil' wuns in da galaxy and krump dem roight and proppa." Then from the Webway Gate came a large mob of Orks chanting, singing, and ready for battle against her convent. "Who a-are you?" She said with her force leaving her body. "MAH NAME IS CHRIS ORKSEN, YA TWIGGY. WOULD YA LIKES TA HAZ A SEAT?" And the Canonness knew she was totally 'zogged'.


Made by some anon on /tg/