Woe Machine

From 1d4chan
Yeah, even by Chaos standards, they are hard to figure out what the hell they're meant to look like.

"The scale of the enemy woe machines is almost unimaginable, the sheer cruelty... extraordinary: great flywheels fixed with blades, scissoring jaws, vast wheels designed purely for crushing, insectoid crawlers breathing flame from draconian snouts. They are the mechanisms of an insane torturer made real and magnified to giant proportions. The Imperial Guard is many things, but in the end, it is only flesh and bone and blood, and these... are fashioned simply to strip and rend and break those mortal substances quite utterly."

– Marshal Blackwood, 757.M41, in his private journal

Not to be confused with "The Engine of Woes", one of the Primarch Vulkan's artifact. Or...is it?

Woe Machines are what happens when you give the forces of Chaos the concept of battlebots and supersize it to rival Titans and super-heavies. They were created by Heritor Asphodel during the lovely clusterfuck known as the Sabbat Worlds Crusade.

  • Height: 14-17m; approx
  • Mass: 500-650 tonnes; approx
  • Crew: 0-1 crew; approx


They were first encountered on Ashek II and to give you how terrifying they were, the local Imperial Guard stationed there and their leader in charge, Marshal Blackwood transmitted urgent pleas to Warmaster Slaydo for Titan reinforcements. And instead of a scene of pure awesomesauce of two giant machines battling out, the Guardsmen being totally out of character for them, was instead traumatized by the machine... what!? We are not making this shit up. To clarify the previous statement, this particular battle was a three month long engagement between a nearly full strength Titan squadron (led by Emperor Titan Imperious Corporalis) and Asphodel's Woe Machines. Once the battle was over, more troopers needed support for dealing with PTSD than actually needed treatment for physical wounds, which makes a certain amount of sense. The guns on a Titan tend to not leave very many wounded behind...

Still later, Asphodel produced several new woe machines from the manufactories of Hive Ferrozoica on Verghast, where the Heritor mobilized the city's entire population to exterminate its neighbor, Vervunhive.

The Woe Machine has not been seen since, despite the potential awesome it would bring. Another machine wasted and mothballed by Chaos again eh? That said, Asphodel made so many of them that the Imperium didn't have the manpower to disarm them all when he was defeated. And a few of them are waking up...

Of course, from the aforementioned blurb, it's possible that "Woe Machine" may in fact be nothing more than a generic term used for Titan-scale Daemon Engines by Imperials who had no idea what they were looking at.

As it turns out, Heritor Asphodel was not the only person able to create Woe Machines. Anarch Sek was able to create them too, although his methods were a hell of a lot more subtle, making them undetectable sleeper agents that could then turn into a daemonic shadowy buzzsaw when given the order. Given how long two of them were hidden in plain sight in Imperial forces, there could be many more out there...

More recent works in the Gaunt's Ghosts and Seige of Terra series have revealed that a Woe Machine is a catch-all term for chaos infused sentient war-machine. Daemon robots, basically.

Forces of the Traitor Legions of Chaos
Leaders: Chaos Champion - Chaos Lord - Daemon Prince - Dark Apostle - Master of Execution
Sorcerer - Warsmith - Master of Possession - Lord Discordant
Unaligned: Chaos Chosen - Chaos Raptors - Chaos Space Marine Squad - Chaos Spawn - Chaos Terminators
Cultist - Havocs - Mutilators - Obliterators - Possessed - Tech-Assassin - Warp Talons - Warpsmith
Negavolt Cultist - Greater Possessed - Dark Disciple
Faction Aligned: Khorne Berzerkers - Berserker Dreadnought - Plague Marines
Noise Marines - Sonic Dreadnought - Rubric Marines
Structures: Noctilith Crown - Skull Altar
Vehicles: Bike Squad - Chaos Dreadnought - Helbrute - Infernal Relic Predator - Kratos Heavy Assault Tank
Land Raider - Mastodon - Predator Tank - Rhino Transport - Sicaran Battle Tank - Stalk Tank
Vindicator - Typhon Heavy Siege Tank - Spartan Assault Tank - Rapier Armoured Carrier
Whirlwind Scorpius - Termite - Cerberus Destroyer - Fellblade
Flyers: Harbinger - Hell Blade - Hell Talon - Fire Raptor
Storm Eagle - Xiphon Interceptor - Thunderhawk - Stormbird
Spacecraft: Dreadclaw Assault Pod - Kharybdis - Doomfire Bomber - Swiftdeath Fighter
Titans: Daemon Knights - Chaos Emperor Titan - Feral Scout Titan
Ravager Battle Titan - Chaos Warlord Titan - Woe Machine
Daemon Engines:
Decimator - Defiler - Death Wheel - Forgefiend - Heldrake
Maulerfiend - Soul Grinder - Wirewolf - Venomcrawler - Helstalker
Daemon Engines
of Khorne:
Blood Reaper - Blood Slaughterer - Brass Scorpion - Cauldron of Blood - Death Dealer
Doom Blaster - Kytan - Lord of Skulls - Skull Reaper - Tower of Skulls
Daemon Engines
of Nurgle:
Blight Drone - Contagion - Foetid Bloat-Drone - Myphitic Blight-Hauler
Nurgle Plague Tower - Plague Hulk - Plagueburst Crawler
Daemon Engines
of Slaanesh:
Hell-Scourge - Hell-Knight - Hell-Strider
Questor Scout Titan - Slaanesh Subjugator
Daemon Engines
of Tzeentch:
Aether Ray - Doom Wing - Fire Lord of Tzeentch
Mirrorfiend - Silver Tower of Tzeentch - The Auruntaur
Auxiliaries: Chaos Daemons - Death Guard - Thousand Sons - Emperor's Children - Fallen Angels
Vessels of the Traitor Legions
Space Station Blackstone Fortress
Super Battleships Abyss
Battleships Battleship (Gloriana - Planet Killer)
Cruisers Light Cruiser - Cruiser
Heavy Cruiser - Grand Cruiser
Escorts Escort
Others Silver Tower of Tzeentch
Siege Carriers Siege Carrier
War Machines Chaos Harvester - Nurgle Plague Tower - Woe Machine
Titans Questor Scout Titan - Slaanesh Subjugator
Feral Scout Titan - Ravager Battle Titan
Chaos Warlord Titan - Chaos Emperor Titan
Skull Reaper
Troop Transports Mastodon
Superheavy Tanks Baneblade - Fellblade - Plaguereaper
Tower of Skulls
Flying Fortress Harbinger
Aerospace Vessels Stormbird
Oceanic Battleships Oceanic Battleship